I lost my grandmother.
It was harder than I thought it would be.
We knew she didn’t have long left- and we all wanted her to be able to go in peace. But I will miss her.
My heart feels full though. I'm so proud and humbled with my Mexican roots. We were notified she passed on Wednesday morning. She passed around 4:30am. My dad had already asked me to order her white dress she wanted to wear. He had just come to pick it up Tuesday night. Seeing my dad in tears was hard. My mom had also asked me to order a flower crown for her. She wanted to wear a white dress and a flower crown.
We got to her wake Wednesday night, around 9pm. The room was so full of love. And FLOWERS.
My Mama Tina looked so peaceful. She looked absolutely perfect in her white lace dress. It’s a view I never want to forget.
I have so many beautiful memories with her. She once cared for me while I had a fever- I was probably 10. She stayed with me- praying for me and hugging me- for what felt like hours to me. She also bought me a turquoise heart necklace in Ensenada once. It felt so special and came in a cute paper bag.
Her funeral service and burial took place on Thursday- after everyone had spent the night with her at the funeral home. When we got to the church, I felt sad. I thought that I wouldn’t be able to see her ever again. But I was reminded how much faith she had in God. She had 9 kids.
On the way to the burial, we drove by her house- the only house I ever knew her to live in. It’s a beautiful tradition in Mexico.
I was so grateful we were able to see her again at the burial- again- I thought she looked absolutely gorgeous. Her white dress- like an angel. Her flower crown- very traditional Mexican vibes. Her absolutely perfect- pearl rosary- something she always held near her.
It was hard knowing we would soon have to close the casket and bury her body. Did I mention the beauty of the casket? It was a gorgeous deep wood with gold accents. And a Virgen design on top. It was decorated with a white rose bouquet- so many roses. At the wake, it had a sign that read “Con Amor de tus Hijos.”
When it came time to bury her, a pastor gave a beautiful prayer. We thanked God for allowing her to go in peace and allowing her to live such a loving life.
The burial was the hardest. They brought her casket down carefully. My cousin passed out what roses to everyone and we were all able to give her one last rose each. All her children cried and said their final goodbyes to her body. Then the burying began. It’s also tradition for several men to shovel the dirt- all her children and grandchildren took turns shoveling dirt into the grave. Crying. Shoveling.
The women played music and sang to her. All her favorite songs.
When the shoveling was complete- everyone brought over her floral arrangements to place on her grave- until she was absolutely covered in flowers.
We took a family photo and decided to play tribute to her at her house by drinking tequila and telling stories about her.
It was so beautiful to see how many lives she impacted. She was and IS SO LOVED.
Mama Tina, te quiero mucho. Siempre estarás conmigo. All your children and grandchildren will carry on your traditions.
We will CELEBRATE life and put out beautiful altars and decorations and drink with you on Dia De Los Muertos.
While your body is no longer here- your spirit lives on and we all look forward to reuniting with you one day. It brings me a smile knowing you are back with my Papa Mario. <3
