Julie

adult disordered frenglish diary

[juliesribbits]

Steam cooked diced eggplants crushed with garlic, cumin, olive oil and eaten cold with bread <3

[juliesribbits]

The mother is going to the sister's home on Sunday to do mediation. BIL is missing his son and F is asking for his father too. I'm glad the mother is better at being a grandma than a mom and is putting F's well-being first.

And me... I'm far. I can't do much.

Also I'm still not sure I want to move closer one day. It's not even about wanting but being able. I mean mentally able.

[juliesribbits]

Right now I want to be at home alone and have a huge binge session until I'm numb like ingest a lethal dose of food

[juliesribbits]

I came home and didn't do it. Small win.

[juliesribbits]

Right now I want to be at home alone and have a huge binge session until I'm numb like ingest a lethal dose of food

[juliesribbits]

Blah

[juliesribbits]

I'm keeping contact with BIL as I'm worried for him, he's currently staying in a shabby hotel. My sister still didn't even answer the message I sent last week when I wanted to wish a happy birthday to F. He is 2 yo.

[juliesribbits]

I'm very worried for my nephew again...

The mother called because my sister fought with her husband again and the neighbors called the police as usual. BIL spent 48h in police custody, has a restraining order and they both have a judgement for assault and battery in November.

They both have psychological issues but I know my sister verbally abuses him, throws stuff at him, she broke a freaking swiffer sweeper handle on him. She called the mother yesterday saying she was suffering martyrdom and when the mother came, she found my sister going strong, having nothing but tiny bruises. BiL is over 1m90 and slim/muscular and she's under 1m60 and overweight. He only defended himself.

She wants to get rid of him and keep her son to herself. He gave a gift for his son's birthday and she wanted to throw it away. By the way she has treated bipolar and also a very egoistic personality, she lies and exaggerates everything... She's unbearable to live with honestly.

BiL is morrocan so no doubt the justice will privilege her.

They both love and take very good care of their son (although my sister monopolizes him), a lot of people can attest it and nephew has also a medical follow-up many days a week for the treatment of his birth deffect so he is constantly seen by health professionals, but he's still at risk to be taken away I guess...

What a fucked family.

[juliesribbits]

They say minimalists grew up in hoarders houses and I relate although mine was rather maximalist but clean, the genitor was definitely a hoarder but it was tame by the mother and so I grew up around a lot of souvenirs from travels and stuff, and at some point you don't see anything because each thing becomes invisible among the others and it just sits there gathering dust. Now my people bring me useful souvenirs like tea towels and I love that.

[juliesribbits]

Tw e.d. glamour talk

I think I kind of fucked my digestive system by years of restricting/bingeing cycles, before I would have a bloated stomach only when I had a binge but now it can happen anytime, like today, I ate a normal portion of homecooked meal for lunch and a little snack in the afternoon and my abdomen is inflated and I'm not even passing gas (sorry to anyone of you who have a crush on me but I'm here to be real). It looks weird and disproportionate tbh.

[awkwardbrunettegirl]

My biggest kink is being loved

[cherryshoota]

[juliesribbits]

Yo

[juliesribbits]

My gyno talked to me about stress, the hypothalamus and the impact on the hormones, etc, and now I feel like it's my fault if I have pains because I can't freaking relax.

[juliesribbits]

Went into a decluttering blog posts frenzy as usual, sorry if very essential info was deleted before you had the time to read it

[juliesribbits]

Deleted the armchair psychology post cause I don't want to bait 0ld p3rv on my blog

[juliesribbits]

I did un auténtico tiramisù with savoiardi (the genuine italian biscuits, not ladyfingers) for tomorrow

[juliesribbits]