I'm going to meet up with this guy later tonight
and it is all I can think about
I'm going to try and resist asking for permission to cum but as soon as I do ask, I know he'll give it to me. So it is in my hands to a certain point.
But I also definitely don't want to even try to get off on my own.
we had a moment the last time we hooked up where he thought he'd got me off and had actually left me on a really hard edge
the idea of him edging me on purpose - like leaning into the kink because he is enjoying it and not just because it's on his "will" list and I really like it ----- the possibility of it is making me stupid.
also being relatively sure that he will give me permission and trying to avoid asking for it just to extend the edge on my own terms - also makes me stupid
(I am open about the edging thing - like I let him know when I'm trying to hold the edge and he plays along - but holding an edge with a partner is so much more frustrating and mind-fucky than holding an edge in a masturbation session).