Just a Boy

[just-aboy]

I’ve been through hell growing up and trying to become the man they made me believe so deeply I had to be. I killed myself in the process, starting when I was too young. I broke my soul. I poised my mind. And I’m trying, since then, so hard to collect the pieces. To trust life can be diferent, worthy. However, I continue the harm. The consequences are plenty and I’m not being able to fix them. I’m getting older and older and losing my lifetime barely handling the damage and pain, while I simply can’t live. Surviving is absolutely exhaustive and destructive in so many ways. Sometimes I try to find a meaning on it. Or just a hope of a relieve. But I never find it anywhere.

[the-moon-whisperer]

[the-moon-whisperer]

[i-will-recover-tomorrow]

[daixkirai]

The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath

[ritikajyala]

There'll be a moment when you realise you're 27 when yesterday you were just 17; and you wouldn't be able to tell how a decade passed away and your life got divided into before and afters. The fury of youth will subdue and nothing will really change but everything will feel different when you look at old photographs and blurry videos taken on cheap mobile phones. Scents will remind you of childhood and certain friends you don't talk to anymore, hangouts will become reunions and mom's burnt pie will become the best food you ever had. And I know on some days you won't be able to show anything of those 10 years but I hope you remember to breathe, and let go of the knot in your chest. I hope you go out in the sun and live a little, because tomorrow is 37.

Edit- I added the visualizer for this piece on my YT, check it out here

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The Flesh I Burned

[moonblacckkk]

[moonblacckkk]

[rains-of-words]

“In our time together, you claimed a special place in my heart, one I’ll carry with me forever and that no one can ever replace.”

— Nicolas Sparks, Dear John (via perfectquote)

[just-aboy]

I still believe in love. Because I can feel it.

Yes, I know I will suffer a lot because of it.

[depresslife22]

Everyday. 

[stillawfullydepressed]

Every single day, I’ll never be enough

[perfectfeelings]

“I have to be honest with you. I think about you a lot. All the time, actually. In the morning, at night, in the middle of my day. It’s you. It’s just always you.”

—

[perfectfeelings]

“Have you ever felt so lonely that you started crying?”

—

[reclusivehermit-deactivated2021]

[life-through-my-eyess]

I think the hardest part of losing someone, isn’t saying goodbye but the fact that you have to keep living on without them. Finding something to fill that emptiness in your heart and soul. Those memories that make you cry and laugh. Losing someone can rip you apart. You never get use to it and your heart never forgets..

[meineluft]

“I think part of the reason why we hold on to something so tightly is because we fear something as great won’t happen twice.”

— Unknown

[deviika]

—Chris Mc Geown