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@justablackgirlatuni
“Just A Black Girl At Uni” is now a podcast y’all!
I will still be active on here but I will be posting weekly on Spotify and YouTube where everything I talk about on here, I discuss on my podcast with guests.
Please tune in and support me!
Youtube: https://youtube.com/@JustABlackGirlAtUni?feature=shared
Spotify: Just Black Girl At Uni
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Hey.
So, it's been a while since I wrote on here. Here are some updates!
I started my junior year of college at my illustrious institution, XULA. Hurricane Francine came through, I evacuated but for other reasons, I got a root canal back home, it was not fun. #stillswollen
I am in many leadership positions this year and it's a lot. Being a student leader can be scary and when you have so many people counting on you to be great, the pressure weighs very heavy. That doesn't negate that I love what I do. I love being apart of something larger than me and the passion I have to lead and serve is a passion I wake up daily excited to experience.
My love life, we are gonna skip that conversation for now. Put a pin in that.
Anyway, college is stressful as always but I know that through God, all things are possible and able.
Remember, I'm just a black girl at uni.
There is no cure to mental health issues, simply.
As a person who struggles with their mental health, it's easy to feel like once you have a good day or a series of good days, you've found that "cure". I had a series of great, mentally uplifting days and I was almost sure that my mental health was in a place where I was unstoppable.
However, I was quickly humbled when I experienced a shift in my mental health. So here I am, back to square 1 trying to pick up those pieces again.
The first step in understanding your mental health is recognizing that it has no cure whatsoever. And I understand that, but it is fairly easy for me to convince myself that my highs will last forever.
To leave you with something optimistic, remember all highs have lows and vice versa. Trouble won't last always and everything always works out in the end. That's the mindset I am trying to have.
“You Are The Strongest Person You Know.”
-Kennedy Shanks
"Expect the worst so the worst don't stop you." - Kennedy Shanks
Now looking back, was this the healthiest post? No. 😂
"Expect the worst so the worst don't stop you." - Kennedy Shanks
“How am I supposed to stand on business if it is standing on me?”
- Kennedy Shanks
"What my eyes can't see, my soul should not worry..."
What Jhene Say? Triggeredddd
Starting a new chapter in your life and being surrounded by triggers is an uphill battle. When I tell y'all I encounter triggers everyday that I just have to accept and move on from; this is what I do:
*I am no professional, this is what helps me*
When Triggered I:
Acknowledge the feeling ("I am so triggered right now")
Identify what the trigger is (" _______ definitely triggered me.")
Identify why you have the trigger ("I have this trigger because...")
Take its power away (" ______ triggered me now but this doesn't have power over me. I am okay."
Does this help every time? NO. Do I do every step every time? NO. But it truly is the effort to accept the circumstance and move forward. I realized that releasing control in certain situations is actually more healthy than trying to control them.
You got this!
A topic that I’ve seen few blogs touch on is putting yourself in certain positions to have luxury experiences outside of dating. Eventually the finer things in life will start to become your norm, but until then you should make it a point to immerse yourself in these experiences so that you are not easily impressed. You can act impressed to stroke a mans ego, but you shouldn’t actually let your judgement get clouded. Go to a five star restaurant during happy hour. Treat yourself to a night at a five star hotel. Rent a luxury car for one night and learn how to drive it (think RR, Lamborghini, McLaren, etc.). Treat yourself to a day pass at a high end spa. Treat yourself to a hair appointment at a luxury salon. Even if you are only able to save enough to treat yourself once a year, it’s completely worth it. This will also inevitably raise your standards so that you are only attracted to the men who are capable of treating you better than you treat yourself.
This is why I have been traveling by myself and doing things for myself. Once I found myself being flattered by the bare minimum, I knew that it was time to start going above and beyond for myself.
why do black women strive for the soft life/soft girl era?
I have tapped into soft life theory. Everything is dainty, clean, minimalist, and almost basic in a satisfying sense. this mayyyy be a stretch, but although the trend is pleasing to the eye, I believe we as black women are chasing a life that is opposite of what society views us as. The outdated and unspoken stereotype that black women are loud, ghetto, and/or "not put together" is exactly the opposite of the "soft girl era". This soft life also includes solitude, quietness, and a simple life.
As black women, at any age as I am only 20, we feel the need to bear the next person's pain on top of ours. Whether it's family, a partner, our careers, or any other relationship we have in our lives, we carry an unconscious burden that we pour out and rarely pour in. Soft life emphasizes a pour to ourselves that seems to attract peace.
Again, I may be overanalyzing this very innocent trend to encourage positive hygiene practices and self-care, but in America, every thing becomes a trend without some sad history lesson on prejudice and racism.
truth is, I don't have my shit together
one thing college students don't discuss when we come back for extended breaks like the winter or the summer is the time when everything is quiet, you wake up with no academic stress, having days to do what ever you want, and everything you had been running from starts rushing back to you.
today was a very hard day for me. the deaths of my family members, my own mental health stressors and events from my semester had all rushed back to me as soon as I opened my eyes. I stayed in bed until 2pm, I hadn't had a sip of water or a meal since the night before.
gladly I had a meeting to attend at 3pm so I peeled myself out of bed and I am so thankful that I had an excuse to get out of bed because I would have stayed in bed all day if warranted.
I say all of this to urge you all to give yourself grace and love during this time. the holidays can be one of the hardest times of the year for people. Christmas time has always been my favorite time but honestly, this time of the year hasn't felt normal since Christmas before COVID.
I pray this time becomes easier for me.
Y'all I wanna be wined and dinedddd...I'm a lady
I'd Rather... #datingedition
Entering the dating world of college has made me realize that there are MANY other things I'd rather do than interact with the hooligans that walk these campuses.
I'd rather swallow a jean jacket than act like these people want to actually go on a date.
I'd rather walk from my university to my hometown (it's over 800 miles btw) than to ask a person to be honest about their intentions, cause they will lie every time...
I'd rather swim the ocean blue than have another, "What's your favorite color?" conversation...I'm grown and idc.
I'D RATHER CHANGE MY MAJOR THAN REJECT A MAN THAT CAN'T HANDLE REJECTION. #takeadeepbreathbookies
Yes, I am being reallyyy dramatic but a part of me feels like I am not dramatic enough. College is a time where us students are encouraged to have fun and experiment and learn who we are. And I have learned so far that I am a person that doesn't want my time wasted and college dating is a lot of wasted time if you aren't engaging with someone that actually wants to get to know you.
Thoughts?
COLLEGE BURN OUT
It's that time of the school year where the burn out is here. I have 2 more finals to turn in, they are both papers (5-7 pages each) and when I tell you it is taking everything in my soul to complete the assignments.
I am also heading home early so I'll be fighting the urge to act like my work doesn't so I can finish the year strong. I have a 3.8 GPA right now and I am trying to keep it that high lol.
Here are tips I use to not burn out:
Use Notion and plan out exactly how/when you want to get everything done.
Prioritize the basics: Eat, Sleep, and take mental health breaks
Slow down on extracurriculars
Remember this TEMPORARY season of hardworking will pay off
learning to lean into my pain for strength
this season has been one of the hardest of my life and I admire how I have been preserving through it. I'm learning how to feel my pain, push through it and turn it into motivation or inspiration. It is still so much more to learn in this season. I'm learning my academic strength, my emotional strength among many many other forms of strength I didn't even know existed until now. Never take an uncomfortable time in your life for granted, the growth I've seen from myself is unmatched. I still have a lot of growth ahead of me though. From maturity to patience, these are things I'm learning everyday, day by day.
"If that's yo man then why he over here..." - Beyonce (ATE DOWN)
