I don’t wanna miss a thing || Bucky Barnes
40s! Bucky x male! reader
warnings : fluff, internalized homophobia (it’s the 40s, guys. don’t be mad at me pls)
This is the second time I’m posting on tumblr, omg. I’m a little stressed but that’s fine xD. Please, tell me nicely in the comments or by private messages if I made any mistakes in my english spelling. /!\ It’s not my first language.
It was already late in the evening when you heard a knock on the door of your small appartement in Brooklyn. When you opened, your friend and crush was standing there, wearing a military uniform. You immediately understood what that meant. James Bucky Barnes was officially engaged in the American Army. Before you could open your mouth, Bucky did.
"You’re now friend with the Sergeant James Barnes !"
You couldn’t help but smile at him, letting him in. As he stepped into your home, you closed the door and looked at him, still speechless. As yours and Bucky’s gazes caught each other, you finally talked.
"So… it’s official, then. I guess you’re leaving tomorrow morning ?"
He only shook his head, confirming your saying. In less than twelve hours, he would be gone without you saying to him what you wanted to tell him since months now. You were in love with Bucky Barnes and you disgusted yourself for that. You were taught that men couldn’t be with other men, but you couldn’t help it. Your friend was perfect and you fell hard.
"I wanted to say goodbye, but I’m not good at that. I hate goodbyes." he said, a hint of pain in his voice.
You hated those too, especially when there was a enormous chance you’d never see him again after he left. Without thinking, you wrapped your arms around his torso, resting your head on his shoulder. He did the same, his head rested on top of yours.
"I’m gonna miss you, (Y/N)."
"I’m gonna miss you too, Buck. Please don’t get killed, you punk."
"Don’t worry, doll. You’re not going to get rid of me so easily."
You felt butterflies at the nickname. Then, you heard him chuckle as you did too. Maybe now was a good time to tell him what you wanted to say for so long. If he didn’t return your feelings, he could always just leave and forget about it during the war. And you, you’d be alone with your thoughts and eventually get through the heartbreak with time.
You took a great breathe and chased Bucky’s deep blue eyes. He still got a tiny smile on his lips, looking at you.
"Bucky, there’s something I need to tell you…"
"Sure, tell me. You know you can talk to me about everything."
You were so disgusted by yourself for thinking about your best friend that way, but God you loved him so much. As your gaze fell to the ground, you finally had the courage to say it.
« I’m in love you, Buck. I- I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t… It’s unnatural but I can’t help it- »
You were shushed by soft lips crashing onto yours. It didn’t took you long to realize those were Bucky’s and that he was kissing you. You leaned into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck as his found their way on your hips. In a instant, all the doubts you had about Bucky’s feelings toward you disappeared along with horrible fear of rejection. You just wanted to cherish this moment, and secretly hoped it would never end. When the kiss ended, you looked at each other, giggling and blushing like teenagers.
"I’m in love with you too, (Y/N)." he said softly. "I have been for a while."
That night, Bucky stayed with you. You slept while hugging, never wanting to let the other go. But when you woke up the next day, he was gone.
At that time of the morning, he probably already was on a boat, on his way to Europe. And you, you were now completely alone, only hopping that Bucky would soon enough come back to you.
So, huh, what did you think ? :)
update (after so long oh my) : hullo ! I made some corrections of this story, my grammar was very shitty back then (still is, but it’s a bit better let’s be honest). thank u all for reading this and liking it 🫶🏻 much love !
