Fix This
Angsty smut// Smutty angst
WC: 1,992
Summary: Dan cheated on Phil. Now they're left to pick up the pieces.
Warnings: Dat buttsex.
Dan paused at Phil’s door, breathing out a shaky sigh before rapping his knuckle against the frame.
“Phil?” he called, his voice sounding much more timid than he had meant it to. There was no answer. “Phil.” Still nothing.
He carefully reached down and grabbed the doorknob, heart fluttering in fear as he slid the door open. Inside was a duvet-covered lump on Phil’s bed, and Dan could barely make out the movement of Phil’s breathing. Dan silently strode in and closed the door behind him, heading to stand over the bed and wait cautiously, heart in his throat, trying and failing to piece together the right words.
Phil had caught Dan cheating last week, had walked in on him sucking face with Adam on the lounge sofa when he came back from Manchester early. Dan had apologized endlessly and desperately, telling Phil that they were drunk and he didn’t mean it and he’d never do it again, but something inside Phil had broken, and he wasn’t sure it could ever be fixed. He’d hissed at Dan to get out- GET OUT- and Dan had barely made it out the door on his way to a hotel before Phil collapsed, numb, onto his bed.
A week later and here he still was, swallowed into a sea of sheets, drowning, with no intention of ever getting out. What was there to get out for? What was left? Now he felt Dan hovering over him, finally home. He should have been happy. He should have missed him. But he felt nothing.
“Baby,” Dan whispered. It broke him to see Phil so unresponsive, so desolate, as if he were already dead. It broke to him to know that he had done it. His best friend in the world, the only man he had ever really been in love with, the person he had spent so many years with, so many irreplaceable moments, and now Dan had lost him, possibly forever, because of a drunken kiss. Maybe sometimes people cheat for a reason, he had told himself during a lonely night at the hotel. Maybe people cheat to have an excuse to leave an empty relationship. Maybe that’s why he had done it- because he and Phil had become empty and routine and grey. But nothing about Phil was grey. How could he not have seen that? Why did he have to give up everything before he could see how much it meant to him?
His breath caught in his throat as he tried to find a way to say these things to Phil, but he couldn’t. So he gave up and climbed in next to the lump of duvet hiding his precious boyfriend, lying stiff for a moment before lovingly, desperately wrapping his arms around it.
“GET OFF,” Phil yelled, thrashing against Dan, needing him to go away, to leave him alone, to stop holding him like he used to because nothing was the same anymore.
“No, Phil,” Dan commanded, trying to stay calm as he fought back tears. “No. I’m not leaving. I’m not leaving you.” Phil squirmed and shook against him, grunting his disapproval. “I’m not leaving you, Phil. I’m not leaving you,” his words calmed as Phil’s body began so grow tired and lie still. Dan could hear Phil struggling to stifle sobs from underneath the layers of duvet. He waited.
And waited. His heart broke as he listened to Phil cry, unable to do anything. Finally, Phil spoke.
“I was 22 when I met you, Dan. And you’re 22 now,” Phil sniffled, trying to compose his strength. “You still have time to be young and crazy and single and go out and try to find that person you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with. You’re just starting to figure it out. But I figured it out a long time ago. I figured out a long, long time ago that I didn’t want anyone but you, Dan. And I get that I’m not the most exciting person ever. I get that I can be weird and act too innocent and I’m not a social genius and I spend too much time at home, or whatever. I’m not the most incredible person ever. But you used to make me feel like the most incredible person ever, the way you looked at me and treated me and showed me that you loved me. But you don’t anymore. So I’m not surprised that you did it. I don’t even blame you. But I just want you to know that if I got boring, it’s only because I trusted you and it’s only because I knew, without a doubt, that I was in it with you for life. Forever.”
The air in the room hung stagnant as a plump tear feel from Dan’s cheek onto the sheet.
“Phil. I know that. I feel the exact same wa-“
“Then why did you do it?!” Phil finally turned to look at Dan, his eyes red and holding an expression Dan had only seen a few rare times since he’d met him.
“I don’t know,” was all Dan could say, gazing down into Phil’s incredulous stare. “I don’t know.” He began to weep. “I don’t know, Phil, I don’t know.” He fell onto his back next to Phil, holding his palms against his eyes as he struggled to correct his jagged breathing.
“It’s because you don’t love me anymore,” Phil whispered.
“NO,” Dan shouted, turning to meet Phil’s eyes. “That’s not true. I’ll always love you, Phil. I will always love you. I literally cannot imagine living my life without loving you. It IS my life,” Dan reached to stroke Phil’s face, inching closer.
“I love you, Dan.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
The two paused for a lingering moment, their gazes speaking without words. Then Phil grabbed Dan’s collar and pulled him in to a long waited for kiss, letting out a huff of breath as he met Dan’s lips.
Dan quickly responded, opening his mouth to deepen the kiss, his tongue sliding into Phil’s mouth and tasting every bit of him he had missed so much. He rolled himself on top of Phil, steadying himself with arms on either side of his head, dipping to place searing open-mouthed kisses from his ear, slowly down his neck, across his collar bone and straight up his throat, skin warming at the sound of Phil’s heavy breaths. Dan mouthed up his chin to meet again with lips, connecting them over and over, feeling how soft and plump they were against his own. He moaned helplessly at the feeling he had missed so much.
Phil reached down to the hem of Dan’s shirt, pulling it over his head as Dan held Phil u while he slid off his own. As Dan’s mouth once again searched out the hollows of Phil’s neck, he slid his weight down into his hips, grinding against Phil, breath hitching as Phil released an unconstrained moan. Phil’s hips responded by grinding back, the boys now finding a rhythm as the slid against each other over and over and over. Breaths deepened, heartbeats quickened, the room became warm and thick with the sounds of their pleasure.
Dan slid his hand down Phil’s arm, tracing each dip and curve down to his hand, which he grasped and slowly guided to his groin. Phil dug his heel into Dan’s hard, clothed cock, quickly undoing the zipper and forcing the jeans and boxers down Dan’s legs. Dan leaned over to pull and kick them off, and Phil took loving notice of the pink flush all over his body, the way his arms tensed as he pulled off his clothes, the way his hair began to curl at the ends and stuck to the side of his temple. He watched as Dan’s chest heaved, and looked into his blown out pupils and the brunette boy tugged Phil’s own bottoms off. Phil lifted himself up to catch Dan in a desperate kiss before flipping him over and kneeling in between his legs.
“Get the lube out?” he panted, gesturing at the side table. Dan reached over and fumbled for the drawer, grabbing a small bottle inside and tossing it to Phil. Phil went to pump some onto his hand, but couldn’t resist first running his palms and fingertips all over Dan’s golden, glistening chest.
Dan’s eyes fluttered closed, a needy knit in his eyebrows forming as he warmed into Phil’s touch. This was what Phil loved most about fucking Dan- the irreplaceable vulnerable state he showed no one else, the side of him no friend, subscriber or stranger ever saw, the side of him that knew nothing but need, submission, and unashamed longing for Phil and only Phil and everything Phil.
Phil coated his hand and Dan’s hole before sliding a finger inside him, watching in quiet awe as Dan’s jaw fell open, emitting breathy whimpers.
“More,” Dan breathed. Phil added another finger and then another, sliding them in and out of Dan as his own cock grew harder and harder.
“Are you ready baby?” Phil asked? Dan nodded lethargically, eyes still closed.
Phil pressed the tip of his cock to Dan’s hole, sliding slowly in until he was completely inside him. He paused a moment, waiting to make sure Dan was OK, and when Dan whimpered and muttered “OK,” he pulled his hips backwards and thrust forward, clenching his jaw as he repeated the action. In and out and in and out- he fucked Dan harder with every thrust, Dan’s hands gripping into the sheets as his body rocked back and forth against the bed.
“Yeah, baby,” Phil breathed as he set a steady, throbbing rhythm, sliding his hands up Dan’s legs and pressing them up towards his chest. His thrusts were deep and sensual, and made Dan forget how to even speak. All he knew in that moment was Phil and the tingles all over his body. His pleasure grew deeper and deeper each time Phil fucked into him, his thoughts slipping further and further away as his body gave itself over to this inescapable feeling.
“Phil touch me,” Dan sputtered. Phil grabbed Dan’s cock and ran his hand up and down, pumping and pumping and pumping in time with his own thrusts.
“Are you gonna cum for me, Daniel?” Phil muttered, dropping his head down so that his forehead was resting against Dan’s, breaths radiating onto each other’s faces. “Are you gonna cum for me baby?”
Dan’s breath hitched and a loud cry escaped from his throat as he came white ribbons over Phil’s fist. He heard himself breathe a stream of “yes yes yes yes yes yes” as Phil continued to fuck him, soon cumming into him as his fingertips dug into Dan’s legs.
Phil fucked through his orgasm, the two of them frozen as they caught their breaths before Phil rolled over and collapsed next to Dan. Dan reached over and intertwined his fingers with Phil’s.
“Don’t ever fucking cheat on me again or I won’t ever forgive you,” Phil puffed.
“Never,” Dan responded, his eyelids growing heavy as he played with Phil’s fingers.
“I’m serious,” Phil said, feeling a smile growing across his face.
“So am I,” Dan murmured, burying his head in Phil’s shoulder.
Phil listened as Dan’s breathing slowed and deepened until he was sure he was asleep. He turned to see the brunette’s chocolate hair splayed out against his shoulder, eyelashes falling against Dan’s cheek, his perfect lips relaxed into an open pout. He was flawless. An actual angel.
Phil rested his head against Dan’s and let himself fall asleep as well, finally not alone in this bed, finally back with the person he loved the most, finally back with his bear. His Dan.
As Phil drifted asleep, he didn’t care about anything else. If he had Dan, everything was OK. They were going to be OK.
They were going to be OK.