The Philosophy of deranged Penguins

mid-twenties - Emrys- he/him -- aggressively nerdy queer jock

[dogpuppy]

Me when my asshole itches and I’m on the moon

[systlin]

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

[ihonestlydontknowwhattocallthis]

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

[systlin]

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

[systlin]

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.

He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.

[probablily]

i say yay outloud too like this isn't just my internet persona this is real me

[heavensenthousepet]

you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old

[melonisopod]

[illusoryfem]

[steelycunt]

imagine this heat and you roll over in bed an there’s some cunt there next to you. bruv id be inconsolable

[fairycosmos]

sources are saying ohhhhhhhhh brother

[reallybadblackoutpoems]

the canterbury tales (c. 1400) - geoffrey chaucer

“hot wench summer”

[iamyounicorn]

[guy whose bedtime is approaching fast] I need to write one billion words right now. and draw everything that has ever existed.

[malibuklaus]

[fluentisonus]

they're trying to get me to do something called ""my job"" instead of reading about medieval english poaching laws

[egonkula]

practicing my hot weather affirmations. You are not evil, you are just sweating. You do not hate your friends you are just walking down a street with no shade. You aren’t anger incarnate, you just need a glass of water.

[justamadpenguinwithablog]

Quickly learning that yes it is nice to find out a multitude of people would be interested in dating and potentially (probably?) having sex with you, but it makes it that much more frustrating that that interest is not very often mutual

[kingcatnine]

reminding everyone to wear sunscreen because the sun is a deadly laser: 😁😊

having to spend 10 minutes slathering yourself in grease just to safely be outside in the sun for 20 minutes. because the sun is a deadly laser: 😐👎

[dorfs]

getting overtaken as a pedestrian: people are seriously so caught up with themselves they can’t get somewhere 30 seconds later

overtaking people: come on girls it’s not a statue garden

[childsacrifice]

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts

[kosmogrl]