🫶🏻summary: the girls are demanding answers. azriel taking care of you after you got your period.
🖋️: 2.2k
author’s note: GUYS!!!! THIS IS PURE FLUFF!!! AZRIEL AND FLUFF??? GIVE IT TO ME, THAT MAN IS SOOOO 😩✋🏻 (((i’m also on my period, and i crave for a man to take care of me 😭)))
“You, sit,” Nesta pointed a finger at you, her eyes so strict you couldn’t get out a single protest, so just sat down on the leather couch at the House of Wind. She closed all the doors for the living room, and ordered the House to not open up to anyone else, just Gwyn and Emerie as soon as they arrived. Until then, you sat in perfect position in the middle of the leather couch, while chewing on your lips nervously.
“Okay, we’re here,” Gwyn busted in the door, on her heels with Emerie.
“What. The fuck, is going on?” Once they sat down, Nesta asked, her fire of blue eyes pointed at you.
You cleared your throat. “Could you be more specific?”
“Godsdamn Y/n, Azriel! What is going on with Azriel!” Emerie smacked an excited hand on the table in front of the couch, her brown eyes wide.
Oh, right.
That.
“Well, we’re…” you cleared your throat once again, nervously glancing between the three girls, “…talking.”
“With pillows?”
“Cut the bullshit, because we all can smell you,” says Nesta with her hands crossed over her chest at the same time as Emerie mouths her question.
Oh shit.
“So, there aren’t always pillows…,” you said then, biting your lips as Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn all looked at you.
Expressions empty.
You raised an eyebrow.
“What’s up?”
Gwyn laughed.
“What’s up?” WHAT’S UP?” Y/n, you must be joking.”
“Joking about what?”
“You just admitted that you and Azriel spend precious times talking between or without pillows, and now you act all oblivious?”
“I just don’t understand what you’re curious about?”
“Jesus, girl, YOU AND AZRIEL!” Emerie agaped. “We’re curious about where you’re disappearing after workouts. Where you are when you close up the shop, because not once we tried to catch you at your apartment, and not once you opened the door. So, either you tell as, or we have to pry it out of you, and it won’t be pretty,” Emerie glared, her jaw locking in warning.
“Why’s Azriel looking at you like you’re his next meal, or when you’re talking with Cassian why’s he glaring at him like he’s ready to pounce, or why’s he always smirking and winking at you and mouthing at you and you always blushing,” Nesta followed up with Gwyn nodding furiously.
You bit your lip, thinking.
Then after a few minutes of silence -
“Do you guys remember that night when I talked about that silly theory of mine about quiet guys?”
Gwyn gasped loudly, while Emerie and Nesta looked bewildered.
“Yeah well, he heard it,” you continued to say, finding the cushion more interesting to look at than your friends gasping faces.
Yours continued to burn up.
“Hold up, what do you mean he heard?” Emerie asked.
“He’s sly,” you shrugged.
“Cauldron boil me!”
“How was he? Was he rough? Gentle? Both?”
“Was he big? Did he use his shadows? Oh my gods, was he really like that theory?”
Questions flew by at a rapid rate.
You knew you cannot lie to them. Being oblivious about the obvious would just cause more temper, and looking at Gwyn, she is already turning tomato at the head.
Besides, the obvious attraction between you and Azriel was already a whispering at the corner manner.
So, you gingerly fed them in. Careful not to tell more than necessary, you concentrated on the conclusion that the theory was indeed correct.
Quiet guys are bagged, ready to gag.
“Fucking hell, I cannot look at Azriel anymore!” Gwyn cursed, her small hand on her eyes, shaking her head violently.
“You just cursed,” you gaped at her.
“Don’t fucking change the subject here, Miss!” Emerie pointed a finger at you. “Holy Mother above, you are no saint here.”
“I never said I was one,” you giggled. “Definitely not after proving my point right…”
“I don’t think you were ever a saint to begin with,” Nesta shook her head gently, “Considering how easy it was to come up with that kind of idea.”
“Needless to say, I’m a genius,” you winked devilishly as you stood up from your spot on the couch, stepping forward to the closed door.
“Hey, you can’t leave! We’re not done!” Gwyn shouted after you.
“You only instructed the House to not let anyone enter,” you turned back with a smirk, then walked out, heading towards the kitchen to make yourself some tea.
—-
In the last couple of weeks since you and Azriel began to discover each other with filth and touches that cause your toes to curl even from just memory, the attraction wasn’t overlooked by anyone else.
You spent more time in that room with Azriel after your sparring matches, your high pitched moans filling out to the corridors, where Cassian once crossed over to his own room, and with just a simple crooked smile, he started pulling on Azriel’s patience.
Touching your shoulder as a greeting, correcting your stance more than necessary, just to see Azriel’s death glare from the corner of the ring.
Cassian barked a laugh.
Amren, who just scrunched her nose in disgust, muttering something close to “reek of sex” before disappearing away from the kitchen.
One time at your café, Rhysand entered in all his glory, demanding for some chocolate cupcake since Feyre was pregnant and her cravings so intense, Rhysand was sure if he won’t deliver, it will turn violent.
You just laughed at him, and handed over a dozen cupcakes, which he took thankfully. He turned to leave, but not before noticing Azriel sitting in a dark corner sipping on some tea, his shadows gentle and lazy around his shoulder, relaxed in a way he never saw his friend before.
Rhysand arched an eyebrow at you, and your cheeks burned, spreading over to your pointed ears in all delight.
“Well, thank you very much for these, once again,” Rhysand smirked at you teasingly, then stepped out on the busy street to head home.
Azriel didn’t care about Rhys noticing him. He simply looked your way, watching you before sending you a wink.
Your core throbbed.
He was good when it came to spontaneity. Azriel often took advantage of the closing hours, using his shadows to darken the place, so he could devious you on the countertop.
Using your lunchtime for a quickie.
You down on your knees, his scarred hands fisting your hair and groaning how much of a good girl you are.
Him between your thighs and his tongue in your hole, eating you out until the point of overstimulation.
You begging him to make you forget about a bad day.
Him bending you over after he saw a customer flirting with you and pounding into you from behind with a feral and hard pace, reminding you who you belong to.
Each time your bones turned jelly, your body sensitive and brain mushy, not able to form coherent sentences, which Azriel loved.
When it came to aftercare, he was such a gentleman, cleaning you nicely and drawing you a bath, him hugging you from behind, kissing your shoulders with such tenderness on his earlier bite marks.
The contrast made your toes curl.
When he went on a mission? Oh boy, did you miss him. You were so anxious, you had a hard time with concentration. You were jittery with nerves, your thoughts surrounded by him, and his well being.
And when he came home? You spent precious time on showing him how much you missed him. Taking control and riding him until your thighs gave out, but kissing him breathless, mumbling sweet nothings on his lips.
You were a goner for him.
—-
The morning you woke up, you felt lightheaded. You thought nothing of it, probably just the lack of energy of the early morning.
But once you arrived at the House of Wind for your daily workout, your stomach started to hurt with each step.
“Woah, are you alright?” Nesta asked hurriedly, holding you by your shoulders.
“Yeah, just cramps,” you said, clutching your stomach tightly.
“Yeah, I have muscle burns too. Cassian was a jackass yesterday,” she said with a roll of her eyes.
“Did you not give him pussy? That’s why he was fussy?” You barked a laugh at her.
“He was like a kicked puppy trying to get in my pants,” Nesta recalled Cassian’s attempts to get laid, and your laugh grew louder and louder.
You forgot about your stomach pain.
During a hand to hand combat with Gwyn, your attention began to slip. She was sharp and calculated, to which you tried to throw out blocking hands, but the more your face made contact with her palm, the more you got frustrated.
“Y/n, are you sure you’re okay?” Gwyn asked, a line formed between her eyebrows as she looked at you with concern.
“Yeah I’m grand,” you bit through the pain shooting up your waist. Your knees buckled.
“No you’re definitely not,” she rushed to catch you, but you went down hard on your knees. “Oh.”
“What?”
“Y/n, you’re bleeding.”
Oh, Mother above.
“Oh no, no, no, no,” you repeated over and over again, heart beating at a rapid pace.
“Hey, what happened?” Azriel crouched down in front of you, his fingers lifting your chin up.
Oh, you’re so mortified.
“Uhm…”
“She uhm…”
“Azriel,” you squeezed your eyes shut, “Can you please… leave?”
Azriel stilled.
“What?” He asked.
“I-“
“She got her period,” Gwyn blurted out.
Fuck.
Azriel stilled, sucking in a harsh breath, but his fingers never left you.
You slowly opened your eyes, now the pain shooting down your thighs, making you wince at the feeling.
“Let me help you,” he whispered, and pressed a large palm against your waist, his body heat immediately soothing.
“I’m bleeding,” you mumbled, forehead pressing to his shoulder, as he picked you up, bridal style.
“It’s just blood. I’ve seen a lot of blood,” he carried you to his bedroom, and sat you down on his bathtub.
“But it’s…gross.”
Azriel chuckled while filling the tub with warm water.
“And I’m bloody.”
“That’s why I’m making you a bath,” he reassured, and pulled your head to rest against his hard stomach, his fingers brushing through your braided hair.
“You don’t have to do this,” your voice muffled against him.
“I want to do this.”
“Why?”
“Because I care for you.”
This man.
Once the tub filled with water, Azriel helped you shed your clothes and undergarments, his careful touches warm against your cold skin.
“Oh fuck,” you groaned once in the water, soaking. Azriel crouched down to you, his hands resting on the tub, his chin popped on top of them.
“Thank you,” you said shyly.
Azriel brushed a piece of hair behind your ears.
“I’ll always take care of you.”
“Can you bring me some clean clothes and tea?” You asked. “Tea helps with my cramps.”
He kissed your forehead sweetly. “Of course.”
Once you got yourself clean and the cramps eased a little, you dried yourself off before stepping out of the bathroom.
Azriel left you some of his clothes on his bed. Quickly dressing in his shirt and underwear, you heard the door closing behind you.
“I asked Nesta if she has some medicine, since Madja is out of town, and I made you some tea and food,” he explained, “I don’t know, if you’re hungry.”
Your smile grew at the way he was standing with the tray in hand, his hurried eyes roaming over your body and the way he spoke so softly.
“Thank you, Azriel.”
“Anytime,” he replied, putting down the tray.
“Can you uhm…,” you suddenly felt so shy around him, “Can you lay with me?” You gestured towards his bed.
Azriel nodded and smiled, gently taking your hand and letting you lay in his bed. He got rid of his boots and daggers, then slid next to you, careful not to fall too hard.
You buried your face into his chest, inhaling his scent deeply and shining, relaxed.
“How do you feel?” He murmured, hugging you close but careful.
“It hurts like a motherfucker. Give me your hand.”
You pressed his large, warm palm against your stomach. “This feels so good.”
He laughed softly, thumb brushing over your stomach.
“I’m sorry,” you blurted out after some time.
Azriel’s hand which massaged your scalp stilled.
“For what?”
“You don’t have to stay here.”
“I want to stay here.”
“But you have stuff to do.”
“They can wait.”
“Rhys will be furious.”
“I don’t care.”
“You have reports to read.”
“I have a bunch to read.”
“Azriel.”
“Y/n.”
You looked up at him, eyelids heavy. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
“I’m not worried,” he shook his head against his pillow. “But I’m going to take care of you.”
“Wh -“
“End of discussion,” he put a hand on your mouth. “Sleep. I’ll be here.”
So you did sleep.
And he did stay.
And when you woke up from cramps, when you threw up from the pain, when you started bawling from the physical discomfort, he stayed.
He kissed away every tear, he held your hair away from your face, and when you pushed his hands firmer against your stomach, he didn’t budge.
He stayed with you, and you fell even deeper for him.
you always come back after i’ve built myself up. i was doing great. little things made me happy again. the day before you called i laid on the floor n my room. the sunshine was shining through the windows. i had my favorite songs on and i felt so good. i felt whole. the sunlight made me feel fresh.
i didn’t feel that way when we were together. i had to walk on eggshells around you, but you walk right back in after i build myself back up. i built my own happiness, my own voice, my own fucking dignity back up from the ground.
you always come back after i find myself. i used to fall into your hands like putty but i can’t do that anymore. you made the mistake of letting me go one too many time and i’ve learned that i can live without you.
five years with you. i though i would wither away without. i thought i would hit rock bottom and never stand up again. but here i am taller than ever. i’ve blossomed and you hate that. you hate that you have no control over that.
i used to pray to have you back, but now i pray you leave me alone. if you love me just let me go. you made the mistake of showing me how strong i am alone.
today, i unfolded the heart shaped dollar. i remember we were out at lunch together and you were distracted by some video on your phone. you were learning how to fold a dollar into a heart. it took you a few tries but you finally got it. you gave it to me, totally as a joke, but i kept it. i tucked it under my cars sun visor, it would be safe there. i planned to keep it there forever. even when we broke up it stayed put. that was until today, it fell in my lap and i knew. i had to let it go, i had to let go of you. this dollar is insignificant, but if felt significant to me. i was letting go your manipulation, your blame, and your lies. i am never going to let you talk down on me again. it time to build myself up, give myself my own voice. and it starts by unfolding this stupid dollar.
i don’t know how to explain this feeling, this feeling of wanting to leave. i want to leave this town. there’s something else for me out there, i can feel it. i feel homesick for a place i’ve never been too, i have only ever dreamt about. i want to explore so much further than the small town. i want experience new things beyond where i was born. i don’t feel at home here anymore.
i don’t know how to get out. should i go somewhere for college? should just visit a new place? what place? i don’t even know.
i don’t know what to call this feeling. what is the opposite of homesick? wanderlust?
all i know is i have this deep feeling of wanting to leave. i don’t want to leave the people, i just want to leave this lifestyle. i don’t want to be landlocked, i don’t want to live in cold, i want to live with sunshine. i want the sun, the ocean, palm trees. i want hiking, swimming, and surfing.
i don’t know this place my heart is calling too, but i can’t stay here. i simply don’t feel welcome anymore.
ive written a lot of letters for you on here, but i never thought i’d have to write a goodbye. i know we agree that this isn’t goodbye, that we’ll see each other again...or soon. but that doesn’t make this any easier. you’ve been my best friend for almost six years. from eating lunch together, watching people walk into the north building on the top floor. to falling asleep on each other in your bed. to singalongs in your new car.
i never thought i would have to say goodbye to you. my biggest hope is to meet again. maybe we’ll in at a new college and we’ll run into each other and decide to get food together. maybe you’ll reach out when the time feels right. my biggest fear is that you move on from me. maybe you’ll realize i wasn’t as good as you thought. that maybe you’ll be happier with someone else. i don’t plan on moving on from you, not at all. you’re the type of person i’d wait hundreds of years for.
love you’ll always be the thing i hold on to.
i had a dream last night you fell for someone else. you told me we were done for good and you didn’t feel any love for me. i think that’s why i feel so off today, i’m so scared of that happening. but maybe this split it good for both of us. maybe we were both relying too much for happiness in each other. i know im not completely happy with myself and you aren’t either but love i was so happy with you. maybe we need to find ourselves first. maybe we found each other too soon, our paths weren’t meant to cross yet, but it did. maybe we need to split to be whole. our cups are empty right now. there’s nothing you can do with an empty cup. we have to fill it to be whole with ourselves then maybe we can come together and be whole.
part of me thought i would marry you another part knew this would happen.
we were so good together love. we balanced each other, and that’s why i thought we were perfect, but maybe we have to balance ourselves before someone else can. love everything felt so right with you. without you now i feel so lost.
we had a little break at the end of summer last year. you asked me if i would give you another chance before the year ended. i said i don’t know, we got back together in october. i wish i said no. i wish i would’ve given us time to grow and maybe we would be okay now. maybe we would’ve found ourselves sooner.
people brush this off as just another teenage heart break, but god i feel this in my spirit love.
i always think of us in another universe. maybe we together still. maybe we’re so happy, maybe this is the universe that we can’t be together right now. maybe a few light years away we so happy and nothing can break up apart.
you haven’t deleted the pictures of some off your instagram, i haven’t either. im scared that you will. maybe that’ll be the sign to tell me you’ve moved on.
maybe this it our spirits journey. maybe we have to split apart to be more in love than ever. i started looking into other people with stories like this, i think i started to rely on them to give me some hope. i don’t know if that is good or bad. all i really know is love i want you back. i don’t miss being in a relationship, i just miss you. i miss you. love i miss you! i don’t know how to explain my love for you. you set my soul on fire love. i used to dream about other people, but since i’ve met you i’ve never wanted another. i have had my heart broken before but it’s never felt like this.
love, you have my heart. you have me wrapped around your finger. i just hope that down the line i still have your heart.
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