Part 1 Blitz & BPD coding
Ok quick bit first before getting into the nitty-gritty. So to have BPD you need to have 5 of these 9 traits:-
(putting as by proxy with him cus damage your image is harmful to your psyche).
Poor bugger looks to have 9 of 9
Alot of BPD patterns and strategies comes from childhood trauma, and Blitz has this in spades.
Scapegoat and attachment style
Cash is clearly a narcissistic Dad, see the kids as tools.
Cash uses Blitz's love and Strong attachment to his Mum to force Blitz to be useful to him, and do what he wants.
This sends the very strong message that love is conditional. That it is bought through what he can do for another. And that without being useful love and affection will be withdrawn, because he doesn't really deserve it.
We see wee tinny Blitzo struggles with making balloon animals, is a little clumsy, has a sense of humour that not a crowd pleaser. This puts him at the bottom of the pecking order.
This position is the scapegoat. Blamed for anything that goes wrong (fire), to keep the others in line (Fizz told done on purpose), given the most dangerous jobs (rob a Goetia), and given the lest love and affection.
Narcissist see people as tools or a burden. All love from Cash is conditional/transactional.
How Blitz gets love is to be used or to be useful. This the rule.
Affection freely given can't be trusted. It is a lie. This why any Stolas shows has to be either ignored, or change to a kink of "getting plowed by people you look down on". Making himself used.
But Stolas breaks this when he says Blitz "no longer have any obligation to see me, to touch me, to bed me, you are... you are free of me." He panics that he's being abandoned; "I can be better", "I'm I not fucking you good enough" are his immediate responses. Trying to get back to the safety of what he knows.
If they're no 'obligation' then there can't be affection and he wants to Stay with Stolas. And if there's no 'obligation' Stolas telling him he cares must be a lie.
He's slowly coming to see that this isn't always the case in apology tour; when his "earning" his way through sex is rebuffed again.
(It may not be Stolas' kink; but being fucked by an all powerful prince who degraded his a little might be Blitz's 🤭).
After the accident this rule gets a second fun extra playmate that anyone who loves him will be hurt. So Blitz must push them way, to keep them safe from him. These 2 rules give Blitz the disorganised fearful-avoidant attachment style. (Woo go him, give him a cookie. Or you know all the nope, but still give him a cookie).
Disorganised fearful-avoidant attachment comes with a push-pull of wanting to be close but close relationships are scary. (Like running away from Voroskia for loving him).
He is getting better by refusing to be dismissed by Stolas, and coming back the next morning. And even talking to him at the party.
But mostly this bit: "Oh, sorry, this entire time I assumed the worst because I was convinced a prince could never love someone like me, and I've let my self hatred stop me from apologizing to anyone I could ever care about!" Blitz in a nutshell everybody.
His self hatred makes him to self sabotage any romantic relationship before it gets to deep. To protect the people he likes and makes sure they can't love him. Because he doesn't deserve it. Thems the rules after all.
Cash and the accident has taught Blitz to hate himself.
It's also likely why Blitz thinks apologies are for pussys, and that no one deserves one anyway. Those sound like words put in his mouth for daring to ask his dad to say sorry.
He doesn't think he's worth it.
(Added the cuddles pic cus I like the cuddles). And Blitz still doesn't trust that he deserved to be forgiven by Fizz.
This self hatred is why he can't picture anyone loving him, let alone Stolas
"This whole thing we had going... I'm- I mean you're a fucking prince. How could you ever actually care for an imp... Me? How could anybody?" "Stolas, you are better off without me. 'Kay? You deserve so much... I don't even".
No one is allowed to want him.
I'll stick the link to the next part when I get done it, but might be a bit.
Next time some such fun shenanigans as:
Difficulty regulating emotions
Being a burden & how to be useful to IMP
Massive fear of abandonment
Chronic feelings of emptiness
Self hatred & the Belief others Must hate him
As normal is absolutely fine if you don't agree. This is just something I like to do.
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