Nice and Accurate Muses

Independent, semi-selective multimuse from Good Omens, featuring muses such as Crowley, Anathema, Gabriel, and more. Will have influences from both the book and the Amazon series. Mun and muses are 21+.

[scmcnymuses]

Okay, so I am HEAVILY under construction at the moment as I work on my muses page, but I will slowly be shifting threads and muses from my other blogs over to here. Those blogs include: @fcntcsticmuses, @justhadquestions, @i-want-adventure, and other long inactive/deleted blogs. I will not be moving all threads over here at once, but I plan on doing it over the next month or two (it’s gonna take so long because I do have a job, and I do kind of have a life even if that’s debatable).

[justhadquestions]

rebellicvs‌:

“I’m sure it’s not part of your job description to constantly get yourself into trouble.” Raphael replied dryly as the desert, not at all impressed by Crowley’s weak attempts of a defense at her current situation.

A sigh escaped him and he barely suppressed the urge to run a hand over his face. He was getting too old for this type of stuff. Okay. Not really but he felt million years older whenever he came across such a situation.

“And what exactly is your brilliant plan to escape despite the cuffs and everything else?”

“I think that it just shows that I’m good at it. If I get myself into it this much, you can only imagine how much I get others into trouble,” Crowley argued. She wasn’t about to just admit she was particularly good at getting into... stupid situations.

She watched him with as innocent of an expression as she could muster, which wasn’t very innocent. She almost said that she wasn’t nearly as bad about getting into things like this as Aziraphale, but caught herself in time.

“Well, one of the guards has been eyeing me up this whole time. Nothing wrong with a simple seduction gambit.”

[justhadquestions]

rebellicvs‌:

At first, he didn’t reply because he believed Crowley was mocking him or something like that. However, when it became obvious that the other was genuinely interested, Raphael tilted his hands slightly towards Crowley, so he could see better what he was doing. “You loop them together like this, see?”

“…I thought they looked fine.” Raphael muttered to himself, louder he said “I picked them over there” and nodded towards a patch of flowers not too far from where they were sitting.

Crowley leaned even further forward, lifting his glasses so he could actually see the motions a bit better. “Huh. I’ve never actually tried to put them together like that. How’d you learn how to do it?” he asked.

“If you yell at them before you pick them, the petals fill out more,” Crowley suggested. He didn’t keep many flowering plants, but he had tested it on more than enough to know his methods worked anywhere. 

[justhadquestions]

rebellicvs‌:

“You really have a penchant for getting into trouble, don’t you Crowley?” Raphael said with a sigh, ignoring for now what the other had said. He had hoped that he was wrong about who the red haired witch, that was supposed to be burned, was but alas, no such luck. This was really turning into a predictable pattern. So bothersome… and yet he never just walked away.

“Why haven’t you just left this place then already? It’s not like this can actually hold you.” 

“It’s kind of in the job description, in case you’d forgotten. I was just... doing my normal thing. It’s not my fault that my normal things are easily confused with witchy things,” she pointed out, refusing to say that she felt relief about him being here. Partially because that would mean she had given in to the idea of being discorporated.

“Well, ah, that’s where you’d be wrong,” Crowley commented, glancing up at the chains and giving them a jingle. “These aren’t the most competent witch hunters. Mixed up one of the symbols on the cuffs. It cuts off my magic, but it wouldn’t do much to a witch’s. I most definitely have a plan for it, though,” she added quickly. “Just... haven’t had a chance to enact it yet.”

[justhadquestions]

hellfireprince‌:

    “No, we can safely call it one of the more disgusting experiences I’ve suffered through,” Aryan grimaced. “Geese, huh? I guess geese can be a touch aggressive… Are you allowed to speak ill of Her creations? I’d have thought you had to rejoice in all them. Though I suppose I’d have thought you’d have to like other angels as well, but you’re clearly perfectly happy to speak ill of them. I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting Heaven’s greatest jerk yet. Probably for the best, I’m concerned we’d get along.” Aryan grinned, conjuring up a gold star badge to pin on his lapel. “Why thank you, I’ve definitely deserved it. If you ever get bored singing hymns or whatever it is you do up there, you should definitely give it a look over. Know thine enemy and all that.”

    “Ah, well we can certainly ply you with alcohol if you’d like. I have some spectacular refineries, the scotch is magnificent. Humans haven’t quite perfected it since I introduced them… I’m just trying to look out for my new angel friend’s feelings. I would hate for you to feel like I haven’t put in enough effort to cause you grief. We’ve got a long road ahead of us, Crowley.” He placed his hand to his heart at Crowley’s less-than-enthusiastic comments, nodding along in agreement. “What good could having a Prince of Hell around do for you? How about never being bothered by another demon? How about intel? How about someone to have your back when a little angelic miracle isn’t going to cut it? How about the knowledge that there is someone in this universe that doesn’t despise you? You don’t exactly seem like the sort of angel people are lining up to get to know.”

“I wouldn’t even use pleasure as sarcastic for that, because nobody you’d say it to would understand.” He shrugged. “Look, I’m not saying geese shouldn’t exist or anything like that. I’m just saying if I’m going to do any rejoicing about them, it’d be because they’re nowhere near me.” He made a noise in the back of his throat, similar to a scoff. “The other angels make it too easy to speak ill of them. I wish I could say I never met Gabriel. Keep it that way as long as possible.” Him and Sandalphon really only visited once every couple of hundred years, but it was too much visiting for Crowley’s tastes. “All that I do up there is give occasional reports. Heaven isn’t really my chosen place to hang out. Precisely because it’s incredibly boring. Earth always has something going on.”

“No thanks. Not even alcohol would work in your favor. I mean, I’ll take it, but it won’t make me like you anymore. You’ve already passed the line where alcohol would just make me hate you even more. A long road? You mean I’m going to have to put up with more of this?” He rolled his eyes, wondering how long this guy was going to keep it up. “Demons don’t really bother me, actually, angelic miracles have worked just fine for six millennia, and I’ve been actively working to make people despise me so they leave me alone, hence why I’ve been working on Earth instead of hanging around Heaven all this time,” he said, ticking off each item on his fingers as he spoke. “Really, I thought your lot was supposed to be good at tempting and all that. All you’re doing is boring me. You could try a little harder, you know. I am thus far unimpressed with your efforts.”

[justhadquestions]

booksattheritz‌:

Aziraphale gave him a pointed look at his jab at his style. Not saying anything in retort. Instead, he turned his focus back on little Evan as he flexed his fingers and released Crowley’s. “I wouldn’t be surprised. Humans these days. Terrible taste in naming things. Though, I do have to admit that Evan would be a nice fit. They’re as normal as names go.” Yet he refused to say the two names together. Not wanting to give Crowley that satisfaction. “I suppose what we really need now is a how. How do you do this? Where do you do this? Certainly they couldn’t live at your flat. Nor would I trust them around the bookshop.” Too many sharp corners in either place. One too cluttered, and another not enough. They needed a middle ground. “I don’t suppose you’d have a hidden cottage somewhere?”

Crowley got a smug look when Aziraphale ignored his jab, pulling his hand back when it was released to stuff both hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Adam and Evan it is,” he said, purposely saying both and looking even more smug that Aziraphale had actually agreed to the name. “Uh... well... there’s parenting books and stuff. And I was going to be nanny for the fake antichrist anyway. So I’ve got some ideas of what we’ve got to do. Besides, it’s even easier when you can use miracles,” he pointed out. He shrugged, getting a pensive look. “I don’t, but I could arrange for it. Tempt an old couple into moving to some foreign country like they said they would when they were young or something like that if we can’t find one for sale. Shouldn’t take me more than a day or two. Any preference on where you want the cottage? Where’s a good place to raise a kid? Probably not London, it’s stewing in sin here. Not very safe either.”

[justhadquestions]

booksattheritz‌:

“Unless they end up having a favorite and mirroring them,” he pointed out offhandedly as he watched the little one with his hand around Crowley’s finger. The other, Adam, stretched his arms and yawned. He supposed they were tired. It was rather late. With the blink of an eye, a baby mobile appeared above the two and started slowly spinning in silence. “Warlock? Really?” Aziraphale asked incredulously, looking over at Crowley. “What ever happened to nice, old fashioned names. Those were nice. Simple. Like Adam. I like Adam.” He ended up staring at Crowley in silence at his suggestion of the new name. After all these years, he still managed to surprise and bewilder the angel. “You just have to turn everything into some kind of joke, don’t you? I mean, Adam and Evan? Come on, Crowley. Don’t you think that’s a little too on the nose?”

“Uh... okay, I guess you’ve got a point there.” He looked between them, considering. Being normal couldn’t be too hard. It wasn’t as if he did bad things all the time. Or at least genuine bad things. He was distracted from his thoughts by the mobile appearing, bringing another slight smile to his face. “Let’s just hope they don’t mirror your style, angel,” he teased, shooting a grin in the angel’s direction. “Yes, Warlock. I bet the nuns suggested it. Absolutely ridiculous.” He shrugged at the look. He hadn’t named the child, after all. “Well, there you go, then! Evan is perfectly simple. Old fashioned, too. I think it’s a great name for a kid,” he said, stifling another grin at Aziraphale’s reaction. “Come on, it’s like our little inside joke. People will think it’s just because they have religious parents or something. Which wouldn’t be too far off. It’s on the nose, but still subtle. I vote for Evan.”

[justhadquestions]

booksattheritz‌:

Aziraphale shrugged his head to the side for a second at Crowley obviously didn’t want to get too deep into things. “Neither of us are anything close to normal. You really think an angel and a demon raising two children will balance them out? I don’t think trying to make them ‘good’ or ‘evil’ is necessarily a good strategy for raising children. They’re not test subjects. They are living, breathing creatures. One of which has the fate of the universe on his shoulders. We can’t mess this up.” When Crowley went to adjust the blanket around one of the babies, it took his finger in his small hand. To which Aziraphale beamed at the sight. As if he would never see something as wonderful in his life. “I suppose we could start with names? Were they with the parents long enough to have names given, or are we starting from square one?”

“I know we’re not. But isn’t that what we’ve been doing forever? Balancing each other out?” he pointed out. “I know they’re not an experiment. I just meant that if we both stick to what we know, neither one will lean one way or the other.” Crowley glanced up at the angel, smiling a bit in return before he shifted his gaze back to the baby. The grip was so gentle, but Crowley wouldn’t even think about breaking it. Especially not when it made the angel smile like that “Um, the one you were holding is called Adam, I think he’s fine. It’s a normal enough name.” Crowley was careful to hold his hand still as the baby clutched his finger, afraid to ruin it as he gestured to him. “I think we should start at square one with him. Warlock. It’s like they wanted him to hate everything.” He looked down at him, and his eyes widened as he got an idea. “Angel, let’s call him Evan!” he said excitedly. “It’s much more subtle than the stupid Adam and Steve thing, but it’s perfect and you know at least some people will get it. Adam and Evan.”

[justhadquestions]

booksattheritz‌:

“Technically, you’re the one thwarting your own assignment by doing this.” Aziraphale pointed out. “Still, I see your point. Even if it is a little convoluted. Thwarting the wiles of evil is my job, after all.” He huffed at Crowley’s lack of forethought. “Well, we are going to need finer details if this is going to work properly.” He was perfectly fine with the potentiality of watching over and caring for children. It actually made him quite happy, thinking about it. He smiled down at them much as he imagined the nun did, but said nothing in regards to their toes. “I certainly can’t blame her or anyone from being absolutely enamored by them. Such precious little things. Not a thought or care in the world.” Oh, how he adored humans, and it was very rare for him to be so close to children. Completely ignoring the fact that one of them technically wasn’t human.

“Let’s not get into the technicalities of it,” Crowley said quickly, not wanting to have it in the air that he was defying Hell more openly than a simple lie on paperwork or drinking with an angel. “Exactly! Like you said, me raising them won’t exactly make for a normal child. You can try to make them good.” He shrugged a little, crossing his arms. “If you need to know how little I thought this through, I don’t even know what details we need to worry about. I was kind of hoping you’d help me on that part of it, angel.” He watched the angel for a moment, fighting a smile himself. He cleared his throat, shifting his gaze back to the babies. “They are pretty adorable. It’s been a while since I was actually around babies. It’s pretty hard to tempt somebody without a thought or care in the world, after all,” he joked, reaching to adjust the blanket around one of them.

[justhadquestions]

unlikelyduo‌:

Aziraphale saw his smirk and should have known he would have had fun with whatever he said or didn’t say. The angel just shook his head as the demon got himself relaxed. He still wanted to make sure the injury wasn’t too bad. He knew that Crowley would go back to that argument. They didn’t care. So long as it got done. Didn’t mean that the demon wasn’t going to get himself into trouble if they ever found out. “I’m sure they’re going to catch on at some point. You should be careful with what they tell you. Something is bound to come back to bite you.” Besides what already has. “Well when it comes to paper work seems that both sides could use a little work.”

Crowley stretched out the injured leg, giving it a quick glance to make sure the tourniquet was staying in place for the moment. As long as he took care of it before it had a chance to get infected, it would be fine, he was sure. “Are you going to sit down or not, angel? I’m not gonna discorporate if you relax for a minute. And they won’t catch on, I can promise you that. The fact that I don’t do paperwork for the temptations I actually do just makes them think things I don’t do are me, too,” he pointed out. “You can say that again. I just want there to be no paperwork at all. That would be ideal.”

[justhadquestions]

unlikelyduo‌:

There was a lot that had happened here. Crowley had been so sure that everything would end. That they would know that he had screwed up. Despite the fact that the war was going to happen he was going to have to deal with the fall out of what he had done. If he hadn’t of had that talk with Aziraphale at the bar he would have waited the whole thing out. She had a back up plan for that? Of course she did. He couldn’t stop being annoyed with the fact that She always knew what was going to happen. She just never thought to tell them what was happening. That had been a part of his argument with the angel. She always moved in mysterious ways as they liked to say, but never talked to anyone. Not even her own angels. The kids would be fine alright. Just there was something in the back of his head that he worried about for a bunch of kids being involved in that mess. She wasn’t wrong. The world still spun. No one had really died. Well aside from a duke of hell that he was nearly killed for.  “You need better angels. Some of the ones on your side are as bad as the lot you threw out.” If not worse in some cases. He had been thrown out for asking questions, there were a few he was sure he could or should be asking. But after their last run in what could he ask?

She had a plethora of reasons for having kept things to herself. Part of it was that yes, it was the ineffable plan, and telling certain parts was literally impossible. How it had to happen had, in some parts, been incredibly complex, especially when compared to the bare bones of the Great Plan that she had given. But even so, if she had told it, it wouldn’t go the way it needed to. As proven by the fact that she had disclosed the Great Plan, and it had been arguably easily veered off course. If she had told the ineffable plan, all of Heaven and Hell would try to change it to get their war and settle the score between them. A hum rose in her throat, and she pondered what he said. “I have noticed that some of them were more focused on the Great Plan than their true purpose,” she mused. “It’s a testimony to Aziraphale’s devotion to humanity that he was willing to go against my word to protect it.” Which was what she expected from more, after saying explicitly that humanity was to be held in higher regard that her, but one had been enough. She glanced over at Crowley, a somewhat sad smile on her face. “I said before that my judgement in who fell was a bit hasty, but what happened only proved that to me more.” Aziraphale had done what was technically in the job description. But Crowley had risked everything to stop Armageddon, actively doing everything he could to do so. 

[justhadquestions]

protectxthem‌:

Gabriel grunted at him, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans, shifting a bit on his feet. “Well if you’d answer your phone when I called I wouldn’t have to make these pointless little trips to Earth.” Gabriel followed the other with his violet colored eyes before moving and following after him when Crowley didn’t look at him, shoes squeaking a bit on the floor as he tried to stay close but not too uncomfortably close to the other; just enough so he was in the peripheral view of him.

A snort like scoff escaped the Archangel. “Please if you need a pat on the back for a job well done, then you’re barking up the wrong tree.” Gabriel shifted his eyes to look at the plants, brows pushing together in confusion as to why Crowley was so focused on them. “That’s too bad, Crowley. We need to talk about you and the company you keep.” He removed a hand from his pocket and reached it up to touch the plant nearest to him.

“Yeah, about that, I tend to ignore it when I see that it’s somebody that I don’t actually want to talk to,” Crowley replied. “Besides, I don’t see how it’s pointless if it means you get to spend time with me.” He shot a simpering smile in Gabriel’s direction, but still tried to annoy him by not giving him his full attention. The squeak of his shoes was almost enough for him to give the other a look, but he resisted it to keep casually ignoring him. A little bit of patience could go a long way in annoying people.

“Worth a shot,” Crowley muttered with a shrug, moving on to another plant that actually needed his attention. The soil looked dry, so he picked up the mister to give it some water. His fingers froze on the trigger, but he played it off as checking one of the leaves. “The company I keep?” he asked with a raised brow, watching as Gabriel touched his plant. “I’m not really sure plants can really be considered company, Gabriel. Even if they are fairly reactive sometimes.”

[justhadquestions]

hellfireprince‌:

    “You have not had the pleasure of spending much time with Beelzebub’s bugs then,” Aryan muttered. “God’s creatures really aren’t as spectacular as you all seem to think.” Aryan rolled his eyes. “You want me to be original and yet you haven’t sung a single different song than any of the other angels. You’ve barely sung a different note. You mean to tell me I’m already torturing an angel and I didn’t even know it? I think that’s a personal best. I’m not imploring you to read my file. I just think you’d enjoy it. My life has been a very amusing one, might entertain you for a night.”

    “Not in a friendly mood this evening, are we? I’m sure if you’d like, I could find ways to bother you here even when I’m down there. I’d hate for you to feel neglected.” Aryan gasped dramatically, hand over his heart. “I just come up with the PR, they do all the thinking - or lack of it - by themselves. Yes, I’m aware that I do have some unfortunate traits in common with humanity, but I am not stuck with Hell. Otherwise I’d be there. I’m here. Clearly unstuck.” Aryan shook his head, shrugging. “Your loss. One of the most powerful beings in Hell could be quite useful to you - a fact the other demons would never point out.”

“Can we really call it a pleasure? And I can assure you that those are not God’s creatures. Far from it, actually.” Beelzebub’s bug were an entirely different thing. “Geese, if you said geese, I’d agree with you there. Those are some nasty animals,” he muttered, more to himself than the man standing across from him. “I’m not pretending to be different from other angels. But please do keep me in a separate class from Gabriel. He’s the worst, I’d really rather share as few things as possible with him.” He rolled his eyes again. “Yes, and the more you talk, the worse it gets. I can only imagine what reading your whole life would do to me. Give yourself a gold star, why don’t you?

“I’m not really in a friendly mood any evening, to be quite honest. Not unless I’ve been plied with quite a bit of alcohol. We’ve only just met, and you’re already thinking I’d feel neglected?” He crossed his arms, quickly becoming bored with the conversation. His voice was flat as he spoke again, replying “Yes, I’m sure you’re much better than men’s rights activists. How could I have ever made the comparison between you when you’re clearly an upstanding citizen.” His expression became pinched, like he had smelled something bad. “Useful? How? What good could having you around do for me?” Never mind that he occasionally did keep a demon around.

[justhadquestions]

sushiandbooklover‌:

“Tsk, now that’s just being mean. We both know I am leagues above other demons. At least come up with a creative insult in some dead language. I deserve it,” Aziraphale I formed him coyly.

He grimaced as the car shot away from the curb. “You know, dear heart, as much as I gripe about customers and earth and what not, I would really rather not be discorporated today. You’d think you were the demon, the way you drive.”

The demon fixed the angel with an utterly appalled look. “How can you say that? You’re angel, you’re not dead! Food is absolutely scrumptious.”

“Oh, are you trying to say you’re not a fiend? Because you really are. I tend to just forget dead languages, but I think I could try to remember how to say fiend in one or two of them. Just for you,” Crowley replied, fluttering his lashes obnoxiously.

“Oh, come on,” Crowley complained, looking over at him. “My driving is not that awful, you’re just dramatic. And what does driving have to do with being an angel or a demon? You could just relax and enjoy the ride for once, you know.”

Crowley pursed his lips, shaking his head. “I’m not dead, but I’m also not a human. All I taste is the individual parts. It’s weird.”

[justhadquestions]

unlikelyduo‌:

Aziraphale wondered if he should even try to respond to that one. Leave it Crowley to make a joke like that. The angel was choosing to ignore it for the time being. They had other things to worry about. Crowley had been working here. He wondered if he should go find out see what he could do to at the very least balance this place out some. “Clearly. Paperwork is never fun. One thing both sides have in common.” It could drive an immortal being insane. “No when you actually do it you like to lie about what you’ve actually done.”

Crowley smirked a little when the angel ignores the remark, finding that as funny as any response. He removed his glasses, tossing them onto the table for the moment as he relaxed a bit more fully. “You’d think Heaven would have something a little more pleasurable than paperwork,” Crowley replied. He made a noise of protest, sitting up a bit. “What does it matter if I lie if the job they want done is done? How many times do I have to tell you, angel - they don’t care how it gets done, as long as it’s done. And that includes humans doing it themselves.”

[justhadquestions]

unlikelyduo‌:

This was weird to him. Walking with God in a world that should have been destroyed. He thought that She would have been as furious about what they had done as either side was. Gabriel had been so set to kill one of their own. Crowley didn’t think it was weird that the demons were set to kill him. Though talking with God after everything had finally calmed down. Talking to God in St. James’s park? Was never something Crowley thought would happen. He had thought She was angry with him still or hated him because of what happened during the fall. Crowley still hadn’t been able to get through it. He wasn’t very good at this demon business. Though he had been kicked out of Heaven he must not have been a good angel either. She wanted things to happen the way they did. But somehow never talked to anyone about it. Forced them to work through it. He loved this place. “Me? I thought I lost Aziraphale during all this. There is a kid, several kids, who have to try to figure out what happened and I don’t think I know. Like this whole thing was insane. Wasn’t there a better way for this to have gone down?”

She could tell he was thinking. And rather hard. If it were a cartoon, he’d have gears turning inside his head. But he had a lot to think about. He was finally getting answers, and even if that had been what he wanted, it was probably a lot to handle so suddenly. She nodded, giving him a sidelong glance. “You, Aziraphale, every human at that airbase. I wasn’t going to stop every possible little thing, but nobody would have died among you that day. The children will have very few problems coming to terms with what they saw,” she commented. “They’re children, much more willing to accept what they see. Over time, they’ll probably think it was some elaborate imagined game, but for now, it’s just what happened.” She sighed, stuffing her hands into the pockets of the coat she wore. “I chose the way I thought would lead to the least suffering. Obviously, it was Adam’s choice to put things back the way they were, but even so, the beginnings of the apocalypse were much less deadly than it actually happening. And if a war of any kind was allowed to happen, humanity would be wiped out. None of the options were perfect, but this one always had the best ending.”

[justhadquestions]

booksattheritz‌:

“No… I just…” Aziraphale wasn’t even sure what to say to all of this. He had indeed felt special when he was assigned to guard Eden. It was something he hadn’t felt in thousands of years. “They just always made it seem as though Heaven was the ideal place to be. That if you so much as touched a leaf, that you were made lesser for it. I mean, Gabriel refuses to sully his celestial body with anything related to humanity. Aside from maybe the clothing. As if angels weren’t meant to be on Earth, and those that were, weren’t as important or powerful to occupy heaven regularly. Certainly not a soft, crippled angel.”

“I think Gabriel is trying too hard to play off the fact that he only actually got sent to Earth about three times. If he had been the one sent to stay, he would think it the greatest honor an angel can receive. Even I don’t like staying in Heaven too much,” she commented. Not that she really had a choice in that anymore. “Heaven is a bit... too ideal. Humanity may have its faults, but Earth is where I put the original paradise, after all. The angels who did stay here were here because they’re capable, and understand humanity. It’s not a bad thing.” She gave him a soft smile, placing a hand on his arm. “Aziraphale, the fact that you’ve remained kind and caring and ‘soft’ despite everything is not a bad thing. And neither is the fact that you were hurt. Both are things you should be commended for.”