Book Review/ Notes from: The Psychology of Successful Women
I found the book pretty generic but I liked the fact that she added guiding questions to her strategies, which made it more doable. Here are the notes:
1. Define what success means to you. Ensure that it is healthy and holistic.
2. Note down your goals. āWhat do i want to be/do/have in my career?ā
āA study on goal setting at the Dominican University in California showed you are 42% more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down. Written goals are proven to increase your focus, strengthen motivation and help you come up with a plan of attack to make your dreams a reality.ā
3. We need a combination of the right mindset + behaviour in order to actually succeed.
4. Confidence isnt relative to being an extrovert or introvert. Confidence is about having trust in oneself.
A) developing a positive internal dialogue instead of a negative, critical one
B) focus on strengths rather than weaknesses. ā.. revealed that people who used their strengths every day were three times more likely to report having an excellent quality of life, six times more likely to be engaged at work, 8% more productive and 15% less likely to quit their jobs.ā
C) stop comparison - whether it means logging off social media or unfollowing/restricting certain people.
D) click with people with the same values as you.
E) believe in yourself. Itās not your job to prove yourself to everyone.
5. Developing a personal brand is important. A personal brand is how people see you and what youāre known for. Its important to consider how you present yourself online and offline.
ā¢ Your personal (people person/ adaptable/ flexible, etc) and professional strengths (what you really enjoy doing)
ā¢ What makes you unique
ā¢ Your achievements and qualifications
ā¢ Your life experiences
ā¢ Your values and the things that are important to you
ā¢ Your mindset and attitude
Ask people around you how they see you - speak to people you deeply trust.
How would you like them to see you?
6. Imposter syndrome is often described as a pervasive feeling of self-doubt, inadequacy and incompetence, despite evidence of success.
A. Identity triggers and thought patterns to that lead you to feeling like a fake.
B. Acknowledge your past success and accomplishments. Write a list of some of your achievements and successes. Reflect on some of the great feedback you have received from a client or colleague in the past few months.
7. Boundary setting is a necessary evil. You will feel guilty at first, but it gets easier with time. You dont have to give out excessive excuses, either.
8. Fear of failure: What have you been putting off learning, doing or experiencing personally or professionally, because of fear of failure, or a fear of not being ready? ā¢ What can you do this week or month to stretch your comfort zone? ā¢ What would you do right now if you knew you absolutely couldnāt fail?
9. āWomen tend to apologise a lot more than men in general, even when we have nothing to apologise for ā almost out of habit. Do you say sorry a lot? Now this does not mean that we should never apologise, or that we canāt say sorry ā of course we can. Just be mindful of over-apologising.ā
- Iām sorry that our director is unable to come today, youāll have to put up with me insteadā¦
- Apologies if Iām nervous today, I donāt often speak in publicā¦
- I hope you dont mind butā¦
- Iām no expert on this butā¦
10. Stop diminishing yourself. āWhen we undervalue our role or contribution, we often reflect this in our language, and talk like what we do is not that important. Furthermore, when we donāt genuinely value ourselves, we may start to convince others of the same. People will often mirror back to us how we feel or speak about ourselves.ā
11. āPeople with high levels of resilience think and act in ways that help them cope with change and setbacks. For example, they are flexible and can adapt to changing situations. They also tend to be positive and hopeful ā believing the future can or will be better ā even if they are in the middle of a challenge. Highly resilient people also donāt tend to dwell on setbacks and things they canāt change.ā
1. Dont be afraid to ask for help. āPeople who are good at reaching out to others, talking about their challenges or setbacks, asking for help and then accepting that help, tend to cope better.ā
2. Control what you can control. Do not focus on things you canāt control or change.
