JustMiddleAgedManThings

Hanging out at the 19th hole with your boys, socks with sandals, voting Republican... you know, Just Middle Aged Man Things.

[justmiddleagedmanthings]

[justmiddleagedmanthings]

[justmiddleagedmanthings]

[justmiddleagedmanthings]

[justmiddleagedmanthings]

[justmiddleagedmanthings]

So whats your handicap? (Golf)-14 year old girl

Sensitive subject. Let's just say... the sandtrap (har har).

[justmiddleagedmanthings]

[justmiddleagedmanthings]

I dare you to tell me from memory where we keep the rice cooker in the kitchen.

Why do we need a rice cooker, can't we cook rice in a pot? If it's good enough for the Chinese... Oh, don't look at me like that, that wasn't offensive.

[justmiddleagedmanthings]

Hi, I'm Jennifer. I'll be your server for this evening. Can I start you off with something to drink?

Jennifer! Good to have you with us. I'm Harry, this is my wife Lynn, and that young man slinking down in his seat is my son Mike. Sit up straight, Mike. Don't worry, Jenny, Mike "doesn't like girls" so I won't try to pair you off. He should be so lucky! Oh Lynn, I'm just kidding. Jenny knows, don't you Jenny? We'll have a round of Diet Cokes, Lynn will want a lemon, and what can you tell me about your specials tonight?

[justmiddleagedmanthings]

Will you please start putting a black outline on your text. You're us look retarded.

Out-of-character-pro-tip: Always really proofread your unwanted anonymous messages accusing other people of looking "retarded."

Also, that's kind of the point, you politically incorrect dickwad.

[justmiddleagedmanthings]

How do I meet a middle age man? It has been 20 years since I have dated.

A lot of my widowed friends spend extra time at the "19th hole," and others spend a lot of time in Dunkin' Donuts.

[justmiddleagedmanthings]

[justmiddleagedmanthings]

[justmiddleagedmanthings]

Do you take your wife out on dates?

We go to Ruby Tuesday's every few weeks. I like the Asiago Peppercorn Sirloin. Lynn likes the Crab Cake Dinner. We've talked about changing it up, but I really like that sirloin.

[justmiddleagedmanthings]

[justmiddleagedmanthings]

How do you feel about President Obama?

You know, my neighbor Bob still insists that he's a Kenyan, but I think that's paranoid nonsense.

As far as I'm concerned, Washington is full of jokers.

[justmiddleagedmanthings]

What should I name my son?

Henry is a nice solid name. Also John, or Mark.

You can trust a Henry or a John or a Mark.