fr muslim girls who considered suicide when the ummah wasnt enuf
fr mariam , khadijah, fatima, hajar, alla , yall,
fr our communities that hold us,
recite algebraic formulas against evil eye
2 × al fatiha plus 3 astaghfirallahs =
your eyelashes wont fall out
written with such love and concern
fr when we struggle w them
against islamophobia ,
racism , the revolution
do our dawah n make
dua fr you, me, the deen
thinkin abt the dirty linen
we spent all night
folding with our teeth clenched…
this is fr the muslim girls who are nvr
gna marry
fr the ones who infuse their every day
w islam but still
arent muslim enuf fr
the ummah
fr the ones who cldnt wake up
to pray because they cldnt
get out of bed
fr the ones who feel like khadijah would understand their hustle but that imam jones wont, fr the ones wearing hijab because its easier than not, the ones who want to and the ones who are tired of talking about it all again,
the ones in the short skirts and the ones in the lime green abayas , fr the ones in all black, fr the ones who know how to cover up a black eye before the halaqa,
fr the times we wondered if rape counts as zina, and if it’s double sins because it happened inside the ummah,
fr the ones who cut themselves open to feel sumthin already lost
fr the ones who skip prayers to smoke, who dont pray unless reciting al fatiha during sex , fr the ones who dont want to talk abt sex
the ones holding hands in the mall, not bc theyre cuzins but cuzz they find luv in it, the ones who find revelation in the lines of their sweaty palms after reading poetry, playing music, singin more than nasheeds
this is fr the muslim girls who want more than taqwacore, who are stuck somewhere between gnawan night visions in moroccan dance clubs, beanpies n biryani street corners, the ones struggling to fuse worlds apart into peace be upon you and pieces be into me
the ones who experience violence
bt never said alhamdulillah
who arent humble or thankful or patient
fr the ones who are sick of ur shit
bt are too exhausted to say it
we survive on intimacy and inshallah’s,
our spirits are too ancient to understand
the separation of god n growth,
my faith is too delicate to have thrown back on my face, my faith is
too beautiful to have thrown back on my face, my faith
is too raw to have thrown back on my
face, my faith is too magnificent to have
thrown back on my face, my faith
is too magical to have
thrown back on my face,
my faith is too pure.
too mine,
too nuthin,
too everythin,
to us,
to have thrown
back on my
face
-ameen
