Just The Oval Things

literally a place for shitposts about Tyler Perry's The Oval 🇺🇸

[justtheovalthings]

Max: I don't want to say I told you so...

Bobby: 😒

Max: But..

Bobby: ...

Max: ...

Bobby: Well?! Go on. Say it to make yourself feel better!

Max: ...

Bobby: ?!

Max: I'm sorry, Bobby.

Bobby: 😧 ...?

Max: You deserve so much better than her.

Bobby: 🥲

[justtheovalthings]

Lilly, season one: Ride or die :)

Bobby: :)

Lilly, season two: Ride or die :)

Bobby: :)

Lilly, season three: Ride or die :)

Bobby: :)

Lilly, season four: Ride and BYE, bitch. I got a man upstate. I'm out, PEACE ✌🏽

Bobby: :(

[justtheovalthings]

Grip: I can kill our targets, sir.

Donald: No, I need Kyle to do it. You're too loud and blunt. Kyle is soft and curvy, easily bendable and able to keep quiet while dealing with pressure from behind and over his shoulder, breathing heavy down his neck.

Grip: ...With all due respect, sir, are we still talking about assassination?

Donald: haha very funny. Now shut your mouth, keep your head out of the gutter and take what I'm giving to you real slow

Grip: With all due respect again sir, permission to speak freely?

Donald: Granted. What is it?

Grip: U gay lmao

[justtheovalthings]

Victoria: I'm going to kill my son

Donald: No you're not.

Hunter: No you won't.

*Victoria literally kills her son*

Donald & Hunter:

[justtheovalthings]

Victoria: I'm going to go kill my son in the hospital

Donald: haha no you're not. But yeah you should go to the hospital and visit him.

*later on*

Hunter: What are you doing here?

Victoria: I'm here to kill our son

Hunter: Don't say shit like that in front of me. I don't care what you do but leave me out of it. Also, stay here with our son while I go flirt with the nurses I'll BRB

*later, later on*

Hunter: WTF, Victoria! You killed our son!?

*even later, later on*

Donald: Ma'am, you just killed your son. I can't believe you would do that. This is completely unexpected and tragic but oh well. Anyway I gtg cuz my Sub is in danger. Lol bye.

[justtheovalthings]

*door opens*

Kyle: DONALD, MY ONE TRUE LOVE. I KNEW YOU'D COME AND FREE ME FROM-

Grip: It's just me

Kyle: Oh

Grip: Yeah...

Kyle: Well you can just tell Sam to come shoot me in the head now

[justtheovalthings]

Jason: I peed on your wife. She's mine now.

Victoria: You disgusting little bastard

Hunter: Jason, that's your mother and it's inappropriate.

Hunter:

Jason: She's gone, dad.

Hunter: Ok Great. ...So like does that actually work?? Asking for a friend with a wife.

[justtheovalthings]

Donald: Do you have Kyle?

Lilly: Yes... yes I do. He's um...playing swords with Bobby, no sorry playing with swords with Bobby. Oh, no he is bleeding, oh no he is dead. Don't call again! *hangs up*

Bobby: ???

Max: Lilly, wtf?!

Lilly: Sorry, I panicked.

[justtheovalthings]

Allan: Bro can I borrow your gun?

Alonzo: what? Why? No

Allan: Cmon I need it. I promise I won't shoot anyone with it.

Alonzo: Fine.

Allan, later on in a federal prison: so that was a fucking lie

[justtheovalthings]

Hunter: I heard you were talking shit about me on the internet

Hunter: who's a fucking noob now?

Kareem: can you please just let me go!!

Hunter: unblock me on Twitter you fucking coward

[justtheovalthings]

Donald: Dammit!

Alan: What's wrong, sir?

Donald: I miss my other half

Alan: I'm sure you'll find her soon!

Donald: Her??

Alan: Yeah, your wife.

Donald: Oh, right, her.

Alan:

Alan: ...Wait, you were talking about Kyle, weren't you?

[justtheovalthings]

Grip: I do not ever show emotions and I never will.

Jason: *jumps off the roof*

Grip: I am! So sorry! And full of! Regret! I am! Sad! I cannot live! With the guilt!

[justtheovalthings]

Max: I could fucking kill you, you bastard.

Kyle: Okay? So could another human with good aim, so could a dog or a very dedicated duck.

Max:

Kyle: You aren't special

Max:

Kyle: Bitch

[justtheovalthings]

Kyle: I love you. We should settle down and get a house, get married, have some kids...

Donald: Sorry what? I can't hear you. You have a bad connection. *crinkles paper*

Kyle: We aren't on the phone. I'm standing right in front of you, Donald. What the fu-

Donald: I'm going through a tunnel

Kyle: YOU'RE NOT IN A CAR

Donald: Yes I am and I'm speeding away from commitment as fast as I can HONK HONK

[justtheovalthings]

Lilly, flirting: You know, I can't sleep. I'm not tired

Bobby: I think I have a solution to that...

Max: GET A FUCKING ROOM, LOSERS

Bobby: What the hell are you doing under our bed?! We're literally in a room. You're IN our room Max get out what the fu-

[justtheovalthings]

Barry: My daughter was kidnapped, man! I don't know what to do!

Sharon: You should call the police, a judge, a lawyer, child protective services, her school district to warn other parents to prevent this from happening to anyone else and contact the news with the most recent photo of her to help you reach the most people possible in hopes of getting her back safely and spreading awareness to these horrible kidnappings and the cult that orchestrates them and terrorizes people and brainwashes them to get more members.

Barry: Nah that won't do anything ...Wait! I know what I'll do! I'll do none of that, I'll kidnap random women, refuse to work with the police on my own daughters case, verbally abuse you and my parents, get arrested every three days for attempted murder, have sex and smoke weed everyday. If I do all that I will have my daughter back in no time!

Sharon: ...

Barry: What??

Sharon: ...Were you always this stupid?

Barry: Yeah

[justtheovalthings]

Barry: I will do anything to get my daughter back. Anything!

Also, Barry: *literally does absolutely nothing to get his daughter back. Nothing*