First Tumblr post since god knows last. 2016
So this is pretty shitty thing that I discovered this weekend that just past. Highly doubtful she see’s this... if she does.. tough shit. I’m pretty hurt by this. It was a old friends of mines 21st party on Saturday.. really thought I would have been invited considering we were friends from year 9 to year 13 and kind of saw each other the odd time in first year in Dunedin and very little in second year and like zero times last year apart from maybe once or twice. I thought we had pretty darn good friendship in high school and lots of fun, good times together and some memories I will never forget. She looked beautiful in her birthday photos and my other friends from school which there were three of them there and OH AND this one girl we use to bitch about was there??? what the actual fuck? you invited her?? but not me who was one of your bestfriends in highschool lol I can’t believe it tbh. I was at the mall today and as I walked out of a store.... who do I see? the birthday girl herself... I wave and I’m actually kind of happy to see her cause I hadn’t seen her in a while. I was slowing down because I thought she might have stopped and had a chat with me but nope, she says hey and waves and walks away even faster with her boyfriend. Then I’m just kind of standing there thinking whaaaat.. with this horrible gutt feeling like I felt pretty crushed lol. Then I leave the mall as I’m going to counselling, I’m at the lights waiting to cross then I see her car coming up to turn left and she tries to wave at me? well looked liked it whatever the case is. I just kind of pretended I didn’t see her and looked the other way. I really thought we had a good friendship and that you might be able to have a decent conversation with me when we bumped into each other.. Obviously not. Maybe I’m too weird for you now... I don’t know what I did. I’ve always felt a bit different to a lot of people. The thing that gets me in my first year I was really depressed and tried to kill myself and you cared so much and that was nice that you cared and we hanged a bit for a while and what else that hurts is when I came to your 18th birthday at your hall you introduced me as a polytech student that who is too dumb and bundy to get into a hall. I will never forget that, I was pretty much in tears infront of about 15 girls, thanks man, such good feels. I bought her a pretty decent present too, no thanks, no nothing. Life is so fucked up but I guess we all learn and move on and obviously not included in your future or important enough to be at your 21st and have good times like we use to and maybe share some awesome hilarious memories we had but whatever. I’ve learnt quite a bit in my time in Dunedin and I’ve come a long way since my first year in Dunedin, I’m actually in the same flat for the second year with two of the same girls and two new girls and we have had some awesome times even though there are some issues with cleaning bullshit but that will get sorted soon hopefully, I have a awesome boyfriend and his flatmates are awesome too and I have fixed a friendship with one of the flatmates and are on good terms now cause we had a falling out a couple years ago. My boyfriend is amazing though, I love spending time with him, he is my best friend. We are going away next week on holiday which I can’t wait for. I’ve learnt to not to give as much fucks what people think anymore. I’m a junior chef now and hopefully get into a baking job in the next year or so or maybe in the future do something to help people with mental health issues. I may not be completely ‘better’ yet but I’m a hell of lot better and happier than what I was two or so years ago. And writing this post had actually made me feel a lot better. I am actually quite bummed that Moya didn’t invite me to her birthday but oh well.. as I said before life goes on. My life is actually quite good right now. Thankyou to all the people who have helped me and the people who screwed me over to make me stronger.
