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@kadeblyne
My Heart Still Hurts // Drabble
Sunday April 6 2007
" Ah... As most of you know, I-I'm Kade, Amelia's fiance.. When I was writing this earlier.. I didn't really know what to say. I mean, what can you say to a group of people who are hurting just like you are? And I realized, well, you can't. So... So this is for Amelia.
" Um... Hi.. I ah. I got lucky with your death, I guess... We got to say our goodbye's. I got to tell you 'I love you' one more time. Which is nice in its own way, I guess. But god damn, I miss you.. And I try so hard to see you as before, you know? Before the chemo and the radiation and the pain. But sometimes I can't and I just... I see it all over your face in my mind.. And I'm stuck knowing I was useless. My own fiance and I couldn't do a thing to help you. That's gonna haunt me for awhile, huh? Guess you left me pretty fucked up.
" God, you know, I'm selfish, I am. Because everyone's saying they're happy you're not in pain anymore and you don't have to live through that anymore. And they're right. It's good they're happy. But all I keep thinking is how badly I want you back here with me... Pain or no pain, I want you back here in my arms, telling me I'm an idiot and that my hair is getting shaggy again and that when this is all over, we'll get married and live in a cottage on the beach. I could pick it and everything.. Remember you said that?
" Ah... wow, I guess I didn't really... follow this little piece of paper here.. It's... all gooey and eloquent anyway. You'd have hated it. I guess what I'm really trying to say, 'Melia... is, well, I miss you a lot.. and it would be kinda great if you could come back... But since I know you can't... ah... watch otu for me while you're up there, k?
" Thank you..."
As We Use To { Kason & Lou }
When the door was open everything was too fast. Looking at Kade’s featuring brought her all those feelings that she maning to push away until now. First of all she realised how much she missed them. The French woman could actually feel her heart squeezing with that feeling. She wanted to hug Kade tight and say that to him but she didn’t.
And then he called Mason. Mason was there. By now she also felt guilt. And then sadness. She not only hand missed them, but she had missed their lifes. Lou knew that she didn’t belong among them anymore, but she was there and she had to do something about it. “Dinner is ready?”, she simplily asked, getting inside the house, passing right through Kade, not even looking at him. “I hope you don’t mind if I just… Eat”, she said on her oddly good manners.
In response to Kade’s questioning glance, Mason just shrugged, just as confused as he was, as he turned off the burners on the stove. Bringing the bowl to the table, he watched Kade from the dining room, the dogs following on his heels in friendly protectiveness. As the door opened, his eyes widened as he recognized who the visitor was. Immediately abandoning the dinner on the table, a smile stretched wide across his face as he came to meet Lou halfway as Kade showed her inside.
"Lou!" he laughed out loud, pulling her in for a brief but enthusiastic hug. "How come you didn’t tell us you were coming? When do you even leave Asher?" Shaking his head, he chuckled again, leading her into the kitchen. "We’ll catch up on that later. But yes, yes. Come in. There’s plenty of food. Fucking hell, it’s been forever since we’ve seen you," he sighed happily. "We’ve missed you."
Kade sort of blinked as Lou walked past him without so much as a glance. "Well hello to you too," he muttered a bit but was drowned out at Mason's own exclamation. Which was probably a good thing. It would be stupid to fight now. She just got here. "Just eat? As opposed to what? Sit and stare at the food?" he joked and went into the kitchen to set another place for her at the table.
"Give her a second to breathe, Mason. Easy with the twenty questions," he laughed and took his seat before starting to fill the plates with food.
As We Use To { Kason & Lou }
She thought a million times before knocking at Mason’s door. This was not something that she would ever do in her life. Since they met Lou has found a way to consider Mason and Kade as very good friends, Dieu know how many crap they already handled between. Still, this was not something she would call usual. This was her trying. Hard.
It was not a secret that she didn’t wanted this. Having dinner with a close-to-mary-Kason. She hated this whole situation. Still, she was trying to keep them into her life. Lou couldn’t fake anymore - she was getting older and lonely and that’s why she was giving them a chance. Probably the last one, but she tried not to think about it.
With another deep breath, she knocked.
The table was set with two plates and two silverware sets and Mason was just adding the al dente pasta to the spicy shrimp sauce. As Kade wandered into the kitchen, Mason smirked and rested the wooden spoon in the skillet before gently pushing his fiance against the counter. Claiming his lips in a kiss, he smiled against Kade’s mouth. “Dinner in two. Do you mind just getting out some napkins, please?” As he pulled back from him, he tapped his ass lightly.
Right as he was pouring the pasta into a big bowl for serving, there was a sudden knock on the door. Pausing, he looked at Kade. They had literally just gotten rid of his parents two months ago - was it possible they had come back? That they’d found them in Boston? Sighing, he finished pouring the pasta but looked over at Kade. “Mind answering the door?”
At the smell of food, Kade made his way into the kitchen where Mason was cooking what was bound to be fucking delicious. He certainly had a way with food. He chuckled as Mason pushed him against the counter and kissed him. "Are you bribing me into helping you with kisses?" he teased then jumped lightly as his ass was tapped and he laughed, grabbing the napkins and placing them on the table.
The knock, however, came as a surprise, and Kade looked up with furrowed brows, directing his gaze to Mason with a question in his eyes. It seemed his fiancee was just as confused. "Sure..." he murmured in answer, leaving the napkins and going to the door and opening it. His eyes widened at the sight before him and a smile broke out across his features. "Lou! Come in come in!" he exclaimed, opening the door wider. "Mason, it's Lou!" he called out to him.
[Text] There's anything else I could do to make you two forget about it?
[text]
Why are you so against this? Do you not want us to be happy together?
[text] What the fuck, I heard a dude was gonna suck you off??
[text] Hm… No. I’m about to suck him off.
[text] Yeah, I hate cock. But what the hell. It’s just a night, just a cock. Don’t worry about it.
[text]
I.. ok sure I guess? I'm just.. confused. As to why you'd WANT to in the first place
[text] What the fuck, I heard a dude was gonna suck you off??
[text] Hm… No. I’m about to suck him off.
[text] Why not Kade? There’s nothing wrong with that. Don’t you like when people suck you?
[text]
Obviously. But you're a lesbian. You're a lesbian because you do NOT like cock. I just. Why??
[text] What the fuck, I heard a dude was gonna suck you off??
[text] Hm… No. I’m about to suck him off.
[text] Well, yeah, duh! You can’t just not be a lesbian anymore, it’s not a choice you know. Shit happened.
[text]
Great, now that we've established you're still lesbian. Why the fuck are you about to give a dude a blowjob?
[text] What the fuck, I heard a dude was gonna suck you off??
[text] Hm… No. I’m about to suck him off.
[text] That is WAY fuckin worse. What happened? Aren't you still a lesbian??
He snapped to attention at the realization that his laughter had brought Kade from his concentration. Smiling guiltily, he cleared his throat. “Sorry,” he apologized. “I was just thinking about when we first met. About how you would glare at me whenever I wanted to listen to you play. We’ve come a long way…haven’t we?” he asked contemplatively.
A smile pulled at the man's lips and his own chuckle escaped him as he nodded. "Yeah, I'd say we have," he agreed and bumped the other man lightly with his shoulder.
[text] So you're still doing it.
[text]: Yes, Lou. Mason and I are still getting married
[Text] Nothing, just... How is the wedding plans?
[text]: ah. difficult with mason's parents around
Kade?
[text]: Hey Lou. What's up?
He fidgeted in his seat, trying to dispel some of his excess energy while staying as quiet as possible so Kade could compose. Listening in silent rapture, he watched Kade become immersed in the project and remembered the days in which his fiance hated when he listened to him play. He had thought it was too personal a process for Mason to be involved in, but with a smile, the older man chuckled as he thought about how far they’d come.
Kade quickly pushed the fidgeting beside him out of his mind and focused on the sound the keys made instead. He lost himself in the chords and the notes, his eyes only opening to scribble a few notes onto the page. Suddenly, though, a chuckle pulled him from his state. Kade looked over at Mason with a questioning eyebrow at what was funny.
His smile was warm and full of affection for the man beside him as he fumbled about on the keys. Shrugging, he leaned in closer on the bench so that their legs were touching. “I don’t mind. I think the process of composing your songs is just as interesting as the final product,” he confessed.
Kade gave a chuckle and a nod, his smile warm on his lips. "Alright, if you say so," he conceded, though he was fairly sure Mason would get bored eventually. Composing was a slow-going process. It could take Kade anywhere between a few hours and over a few days to compose a piece. With that, he returned to his process, his eyes occasionally closing to get the full depth of a sequence.
He felt guilt wash over him as Kade paused, but he exhaled softly in relief as the man smiled at him. Returning the smile, he eagerly went to settle onto the bench beside Kade. He sat down and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “Okay, you may resume,” he chuckled in playful adoration.
Kade chucked at the permission and turned fully back to the keys as Mason sat beside him. "I'm afraid it won't be too exciting. Mostly just a lot of keys being played over and over again until I find the right one," he informed.