SOME INFORMATION FROM THE INTERVIEW:
Choi Seung-hyun, formerly known as rapper T.O.P from K-pop juggernaut Big Bang, marked his return to the screen after an 11-year hiatus in season two of "Squid Game."
Previously embroiled in a scandal following a conviction for marijuana use that led to a 10-month suspended jail sentence in 2017, Choi's journey back to the limelight may be a tale of self-reflection.
In the newest season of "Squid Game," Choi portrays Thanos, a failed rapper addicted to drugs who enters the deadly games to escape crippling debt. A character at once selfish and absurd, Thanos delivers a kaleidoscope of exaggerated emotions and awkward bravado, a performance that has sparked both intrigue and polarized reactions.
During a group interview Wednesday, Choi opened up with emotional gravity befitting his first public conversation in over a decade.
βSince itβs my first interview in 11 years, a lot has happened, and I came here with careful consideration, thinking it was the right time. I feel a mix of emotions, including a sense of apology, but today, I sincerely want to share many honest thoughts in this space,β he said.
Reflecting on the turbulent years since his departure from the public eye, Choi spoke about his personal struggles.
βIn my 20s, I made huge mistakes, and the dark times I faced then led me down a path I had never been on before. What followed was a truly hellish period of darkness, during which I became emotionally devastated,β he said. "I experienced profound psychological deterioration and intense self-loathing."
It was during these times of desolation that the opportunity to audition for "Squid Game" emerged.
βThen I received an offer to audition for the role of Thanos. Like any other actor, I recorded a video and sent it in. After meeting with the director and going through several rounds of cross-checks, I was cast,β he recounted.
βIf it hadnβt been Thanos, I wouldnβt have taken on the role. It was an extremely difficult decision for me, given my past mistakes. But Thanos was a character I had to confront head on -- not a righteous figure, but a stereotypically failed, pathetic hip-hop loser. That aspect gave me the courage to step forward.β
Stepping into the shoes of a character like Thanos proved a formidable psychological challenge, he said.
βThe film set had hundreds of actors and crew members present. When we shot the scene where Thanos takes drugs, I found myself in a very embarrassing situation, which was quite psychologically challenging for me," said Choi.
"However, I believed it was my responsibility to overcome this as part of my role, and that determination was what kept me going,β he explained.
Critics have been divided on Choiβs portrayal of Thanos, with some viewers describing the performance as overtly exaggerated and unnatural -- a critique that Choi readily embraced. βActing and characters are things that can draw mixed reactions and can be highly subjective, and they are elements that audiences may criticize, and I believe enduring such criticism is something I must accept," he said.
The concept behind Thanos, as Choi elaborated, was the essence of failure personified.
βHeβs portrayed as a failed member of the 'MZ' generation, full of cringeworthy behavior and over-the-top bravado, like a teenager stuck in a phase of childish delusions of grandeur," he said.
"Heβs a character whose body has grown, but his mental age is almost like that of Shin-chan,β he said, referring to the 5-year-old main character of Japanese manga series "Crayon Shin-chan."
Going forward, as for any speculation about a return to Big Bang, Choi quashed the idea.
βRegarding moving forward on my own, I felt that if I faced criticism and backlash, it was something I could endure alone. However, as long as I remained part of Big Bang, the guilt could not be erased, and I believed I could no longer let the team suffer because of me," he said.
"The reason I cannot return is, honestly, because I feel too ashamed to face the other members.β
Nevertheless, Choi hinted at a possible return to music as a solo artist.
βFor the past 10 years, Iβve only been going back and forth between my home and my music studio. The reason I stayed in the studio was that creating music was the only time I felt like I could escape the darkness,β he shared.
βI made a lot of songs. Thereβs no exact release plan yet, but I do have something in mind for the near future," he added.
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i just wanted to say that he is so brave for coming out and finally talking about what happened so many years ago, and he is truly inspiring. i donβt make sappy posts like this often but it makes me so happy to see him not continue to hide in the shadows and instead come out and finally be able to stand in front of interviewers and talk like he used to β‘
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