the kind you don’t fully let go of, no matter how many times life pulls you in different directions.
We’ve been on and off since 2022, and somehow, every time we come back around, it’s like nothing ever left. The chemistry? Still there. The conversations? Effortless. It’s deeper than just history… it feels like alignment. Like we’re meant to exist in each other’s world, even if we can’t quite figure out how.
And maybe that’s my problem.
Because I don’t just want pieces of him—I want presence. I want him around me, in my space, in my day-to-day. I want access. And I don’t even think that comes from a place of neediness, just… truth.
He told me he doesn’t want to take time away from my kids, and I respect that. I really do. That kind of awareness? It matters. But at the same time, I can’t ignore the part of me that still wants him closer than he allows himself to be.
So now I’m sitting in this space between understanding and desire.
Between respecting his boundaries and honoring what I feel.
Maybe we’re not meant to be together in the traditional sense…
but we’re definitely not meant to be strangers either.
That in-between space is the hardest place to live in.