Kaine A. Carrion

| They/He | 31 | Piercer | IG: carrion.my.wayward.son

[fromdarzaitoleeza]

But I still don't know how to hold your hand without reading the ugliness of my own, But I can't contain my soul from enveloping yours !

Web weaving about holding hands an emotion

{quotes:Mary Ruefle/uk/Francis Forever Song by Mitski/The Hand Has Twenty-Seven Bones by Natalie Diaz/Hélène Cixous, from “Olivier De Serres- A Single Passion Two Witnesses,” Love Itself: In the Letter Box (Polity Press, 2008) /uk /Saadi Youssef, from ‘Solos on the Oud’, Without an Alphabet, Without a Face: Selected Poems (trans. Khaled Mattawa) /@fatimaamerbilal from her garden yearns more for visitors than water. }

[kainecarrion]

I've been trying to keep my options open and not put all my eggs in one basket.

But as I meet new people, or swipe through dating apps, all I can think about is how I want you.

I don't care that your art steals you away for days, weeks at a time. I'm not worried that your aspirations might take you to a completely different province. I don't mind that depression and anxiety constantly hang over you. Those are all things we can figure out and overcome as we need to. When I say I want you, I mean all of you, regardless of what that might entail.

[kainecarrion]

Trying to build something with someone who's married to their craft is hard because it's like I!!! HAVE A BURNING DESIRE!!! IN MY HEART!!! TO GIVE YOU THE UNIVERSE!! and yet we haven't really had enough time together to tell (or even ask) if they feel the same way.

Luckily I'm secure enough that my life isn't just completely hinging on it, but God damnit I want to love you and do cute things for you. Get over hereeee 😤

[nyurakim]

silence

buy this print ~ support me

[kainecarrion]

My God please let me have this.

[xenoshock]

Yakuza Apocalypse (2015) dir.  Takashi Miike

[anamorphosis-and-isolate]

[kainecarrion]

Fuck. I am so in love.

[compulsive]

[destroymylife]

[resimlerin-dili]

[peacozy]

[kainecarrion]

“Why do I fall in love with every person I see who shows me the least bit of attention?”

A quote from my favourite film. It still resonates with me as strongly as it did when I first heard it a decade ago.

Creating echoes in the hallways of my spotless mind.

“Why do I fall in love with every person I see who shows me the least bit of attention?”

A question I ask myself frequently when guy number, three, four, five; five? At least I'm pretty sure that's how many boys have blinded me with their charm and empty promises.

Maybe boy number six won't make me feel like I'm number two.

“Why do I fall in love with every person I see who shows me the least bit of attention?”

I wonder; If I'm as whole as I say I am, why do I keep falling for emotionally unavailable people, who fall for emotionally unavailable people?

Who then string me along because I'm always there, always patient, always loving?

“Why do I fall in love with every person I see who shows me the least bit of attention?”

I begin to speculate if I'll ever experience real love again. If the boy with the cute sweater and bright smile still thinks of me.

If the ghosts of my past will keep me swathed in their shroud.

“Why do I fall in love with every person I see who shows me the least bit of attention?”

I wish I had a better answer, but for now, I guess I can boil it down to the fact that I just want to know how it feels to bask in eternal sunshine.

[kainecarrion]

Why do people write?

Because they feel?

They want to be heard?

Perhaps a combination of the two.

I've started writing again

Because my thoughts are too overwhelming

And putting them onto paper

is better

Than putting them onto skin.

Being the strong friend

The secure friend

The stable friend

Is difficult

Because I feel like I can't show my weakness.

I need to be strong

For them.

And that is why I write.

For them.

[kainecarrion]

In my natural element 📷⛰️ (at Somewhere in Canada) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXY8-e4JNA6/?utm_medium=tumblr

[kainecarrion]

In case you forgot that I'm I huge dork 🤓 This is immediately after I lost the race up the hill to get a better view of the lake lol (at Somewhere in Canada) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXWW-Xrpcu4/?utm_medium=tumblr

[kainecarrion]

Okay, I was totally joking in my last post, but I ended up getting the full res versions of all the photos from my cross-Canada roadtrip and I'm over the moon with them 😭💗 I'll be posting them all over the next few days 🥺 . . . 📸: @iammathewtowers (at Somewhere in Canada) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXShcz4LoZT/?utm_medium=tumblr