Actually? You know what? Let's fucking TALK about being a csa survivor and trans. Because there are so many specific issues we face.
Any other trans survivors absolutely t e r r i f i e d to their core of doctors? Any trans survivors who's skin crawls off their body and sits in a corner at the thought of being put under anesthesia and then having their body touched with no control of what's happening during any of it? And it being your fault because you literally actually seeked it out and consented. Any other survivors who will probably just have to deal with their Dysphoria because of this and then get told by gatekeepers we cannot be trans because we don't have and won't get surgeries?
Any other trans survivors who try opening up for the first time in their life in therapy and being honest and vulnerable just to be told that if you are a survivor they can't let you transition because you'll regret it, because you can't possibly know who you are. You can't possibly have feelings about your body that aren't due to trauma. And it just feels like another person in power talking away your bodily autonomy. Another person in power punishing you for daring to speak about what was done to you. Acting like they know better what's good for you than you do.
This is about us as survivors who get used in arguments as pawns all the time, yes by TERFs but honestly even by people who are our allies and siblings. They will disagree with everything a TERF says until she talks about how poor traumatized women will transition because of trauma. Oh we're all about bodily autonomy until someone is too Damagedā¢ to deserve it.
This is about my fucking parents who only acknowledge that i am mentally ill and struggling when it conveniently means i can't be trusted. Neither about the CSA nor about the being trans.
This is about how no one speaks about this. No one speaks about US. No one speaks about SURVIVORS until we become convenient to their narrative. Or the one point that has to be conceded on when talking about TERF rethoric.
I'm sick and tired of having to either be a CSA survivor or a trans person because being both is just too unbelievable. I'm sick and tired of being the sad and shameful part of the community that is just more convenient to ignore.
I understand this is a heavy post but God I'm speaking in order to be heard so please don't. Ignore this again. Especially if you consider yourself an ally to survivors. You are encouraged to reblog.
