Kaixoia

[kaixoia]

we shared things to you that you do not deserve. the destruction your borderline has left. again we find ourself in this dark haveing to accept this violent malice with no recourse. never allowed to lash out never allowed to hurt allways haveing to be the better being. but countless humans just like you are allowed to hurt as they please.keep hateing yourself until it destroys you, keep feeling empty. keep chasing your unhinged dysregulated emotions. the blessing of The Void will never grace your being may your soul suffer all the chaos you have caused.

[kaixoia]

can you hear it, the scream of the void. does the echos of the memories wake you from your sleep. do the ghosts of your emotions still haunt you. haunted by your presence these silent screams echo, cold sweats and death panics keep hearts beating.

[kaixoia]

The day aches in quiet suffering, but the night is a cruel envoy of despair, merciless in its embrace.

In the hollow silence, only mother’s voice lingers, a haunting lullaby that never learned tenderness, our soul companion in the dark.

Perhaps she was right…perhaps there is something within us unworthy of warmth, some fracture in our existence that renders us… unwanted.

And so we remain, cradled by the echo of her words, wondering if we were ever meant to be loved at all.

[kaixoia]

Forgive us, beloved for being shaped of longing and shadow, for daring to hunger for love in a world that withholds it so cruelly.

Forgive us for craving constancy for reaching again and again for your presence like a ghost tracing warmth it cannot keep.

Forgive us for desiring intimacy, for asking your voice to meet ours in the quiet, for seeking communion where silence so often answered.

Forgive us for wanting the truest parts of you the light, the ruin, the sacred in between as if we had any right to hold such beauty.

And still, beneath the weight of all that we are, our devotion does not wither.

Te amo, mi amor in the language of blood and dusk, in the hush between heartbeats, in every shadow that still remembers your name.

[kaixoia]

Often, we feel nothing, echos of the Void, devour us. even as we ache to feel anything. love, safety, compassion, anger, rage, hatred. anything to prove we still exist.

Yet what remains is only this hallowed Void. A fragmented ghost, A forsaken child. Left to wander the abyss, abandoned by every light, betrayed by every hand that once promised.

[kaixoia]

We repent in shadows for daring to arrive when your soul trembled most, for reaching with gentle hands toward your hidden pain, for asking you to unveil the sacred wounds you kept buried.

Forgive us for the sanctuary we offered a dark cathedral of safety and acceptance when all it awakened in you was a deeper, more haunting fear

Forgive us for whispering that we could walk the abyss together, for believing love could bloom even in the blackest hollow.

And so, with this, our final devotion our last, bleeding love letter to your heart we remain behind.

Here, at the edge of the void, we will keep it caged in our embrace, holding its endless hunger at bay, so you may wander freely among the bright illusions of the world.

Go!, be enchanted, be distracted, be untouched.

May you never again be called

to turn inward

and meet the darkness

that once knew your name.

-Hope Kaixoia

[kaixoia]

sorry for being like this, for wanting to be loved. for wanting consistency intimacy and communication. for wanting the best of you. te amo Mi Amor

[kaixoia]

we are sorry, sorry for being there, for showin up when you need us most. sorry for askin for your feelings and vulnerabilities. for givin you a space to be safe and accepted, when all it did was cause you more fear.

sorry for asking you to face the darkness together. and in this my last love to you. we will stay here, holding this void at bay, that you may go on living distracted by all the wonders of the world. May you never have to look inward.

[kaixoia]

by the IX i hate you you sniveling whining, self victimizing, bitch.

-shadō 

[kaixoia]

Lmao you stupid fuk. you should have lost far more then just three fingers. hopefully next time your incompetence cost you, your life.

-Kaixoia 

[kaixoia]

in those moments only you matter.

-Lillith

[kaixoia]

damnit i forgot what i was gonna say 🤣😜

-Lillith

[kaixoia]

i got my car stolen by Richard remeraiz

[kaixoia]

the goal was never to change but to master all that we are.

-Hope

[kaixoia]

To find, the unknown? may this change me. the jounery, the horizon of the Void waits.

may the IX watch over me.

-Hope

[kaixoia]

"All of One"

-Ysa

[kaixoia]

honor gives little comfort to a man alone in his home and in his heart.

- General Martok