Normalize just accepting some people have the time and energy to give, and some don't.
My life became a lot lighter when I released holding others to my expectations to give as much as I do or in the same way as I do. We all invest ourselves in relationships differently with ebb and flow, but the point is to recognize if someone is investing the time and energy they are capable of to your relationship, and if that is in a way you can accept.
If not, you don't have to throw the whole person away or end the relationship; you can communicate what you need and ask if they could focus the time and energy they have into giving it in that way, and share how that provides your needs in that relationship. If at that point they are unwilling, don't care, are uncomfortable, or unable- then you can see that relationship isn't something you need to be investing in yourself anymore.
Because if you are investing your time and energy into a relationship and communicating to work with someone on how they invest back into that, but it's not in a way you need or can accept, then it's not really a relationship: it's charity you're giving your time and energy out for free to. Which if you're fine with that and it's not exhausting and unfulfilling, suit yourself. But if you're left feeling drained, take your time and energy and invest it in another relationship- with yourself, with your community, your social support, a new connection, friendship, or any other relationship you think is worth it.
You can release your previous attachment knowing that it wasn't a balanced working relationship, wish them a better fit or personal growth, but allow them to remain where they are in themselves and move on to what you would like for yourself.
Even if you just find that in yourself and invest your time and energy into growing your relationship with yourself instead of that person who wasn't giving back to you in the way you needed.
I've invested in so many relationships that were one-sided and not investing back in the way I needed -and my relationships improved so much when I took my time and energy back and invested it into myself or other relationships. I realized the only thing that changed was that I had my time and energy back after giving it to a place that actually hadn't changed at all because I wasn't receiving it back the whole time, it just became apparent how empty and one-sided that relationship was when I stopped giving and investing MY energy and time.
Value your own energy. Value your time. Invest them in what's worth it to you.
You don't have to take it personal when someone is not able to give you their time or energy (even if they want to invest in the relationship); but you also don't have to keep investing in a relationship that isn't investing any time or energy back to you. Your energy and time is priceless. Spend it where it returns back to you or you won't be able to keep investing long-term.
Recognize, communicate, rejuvenate.
prguitarman
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