HUENINGKAI :: STICK WITH YOU

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@kamosgf
HUENINGKAI :: STICK WITH YOU
; 땀 (sweat)
I’ll just stick with you 🤦♂️
31 FAVOURITES FROM 2025 14/31 ▶️ sagittarius — wooyoung (ateez)
hi my loves !! my amazing friend has a discord for atiny & i've attached the video and link below if you'd like to join 💙
𓆩♡𓆪 i love my desire | 168 members
Hueningkai (𝐓𝐗𝐓) !★
hey @mrsmountebank i gotchu <3
(not sure if it's the same interview but tbh it probably doesn't matter)
hello! this november i wanted to give back and do something proactive. this is something i've been planning for my next fic, which will be a jake sfw written fic posted after vacancy below ends. i wanted to ask for opinions before i go through with this idea and make sure it's not tone-deaf in any sort of way
for full transparency, half of the money will go to helping sudani women in refugee camps receive menstrual products, and the other half to supporting women in congo (building retirement homes for elderly widows, community farms to support child brides orphans and single mothers, and microgrants for women led businesses)
WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?, LHS (PART 1)
• SYNOPSIS: Heeseung has always been the voice of HYPHENIX, the steady rhythm behind the chaos, the boy who hides his emotions while encouraging others to face theirs. For him, Ella is the memory that never faded, the first love he could never forget, the one that got away. When she returns, he refuses to let the chance pass without a confession. To bridge the years of distance, he turns to the one person she trusts most now: you. What begins as a simple favor draws you into late-night conversations, fragile secrets, and the slow, quiet ache of realization. And when the moment comes for her to leave again, you are left to wonder which heartbreak will cut deeper: his, or yours.
• PAIRING: Lee Heeseung x fem!reader
• WORD COUNT: 30k
• SERIES MASTERLIST
• AUTHOR'S NOTE: I was planning on releasing the teaser but then I noticed how near Heeseung's birthday was, so I decided to just directly post the fic on his birthday lmao. Happy Heeseung Day to everyone. I hope yk the drill by now, it has a 2nd part too. Happy reading lovelies♡
You closed the locker behind you after you were done keeping your things inside your bag. You took out your phone to remove it from silent mode and visibly flinched at the number of notifications displaying over your notification bar. Sighing, you cleared it before shooting a quick text to your mom as you stepped out into the hallway with a light skip in your feet.
The hallway smelled faintly like floor polish and paper dust, the kind of a smell you would naturally expect at the end of the day. With your bag slung over your shoulder, you dragged your feet towards the exit. You had just finished your last exam of the semester and you couldn't wait to go back home to take your well deserved nap before you board the train to your hometown.
You could see students cluttered around the campus, some leaned against the pillars, others perched upon the benches but what peculiar thing caught your attention was on the way everyone was glued on their phones, whispering amongst themselves. Your mind went back to the abnormal number of notifications you had cleared out earlier, whatever that was circulating around the social media page of your university has clearly hooked everyone already.
As you neared the main staircase of the building you spotted a few girls from your class huddled together in a half circle, head bent close together. One of them looked up just as you walked down the last staircase and waved to you to come over with the urgency of someone who had discovered Victoria's secret.
“You know Heeseung right?” Hana started as other 2 girls, Sumin and Jina looked at you with their conspiratorial grin. Your brows creased, “Heeseung, the campus boy band guy or Heeseung, the political science nobody?" They blinked at your words before Sumin sighed heavily, “why would the other Heeseung even be relevant in this conversation.”
You nodded, “okay what did Heeseung from political science do? He gets scared even when someone breathes wrong in his direction.” Hana sighed, “come on, don't pretend like you don't know him, we're talking about Heeseung from Hyphenix.”
You smiled, enjoying looking at their faces, “okay what about him? Weren't you talking about their keyboardist a few weeks before? The attention shifted towards the lead singer now?” Jina nodded, suddenly coming up to your side and hooking her arm around yours. "So, we heard that he has a childhood friend,” she gushed, eyeing other girls, “childhood best friend to be more specific.” You tilted your head, “okayyy, so what?” Hana smirked as she leaned in close as if she was delivering a top secret, “she's coming to our university.” You nodded, “right, and you all know this because?”
“Because,” Sumin leaned in, “someone from humanities told me that someone from literature told them that they overheard Hyphenix teasing Heeseung after their little impromptu show before exams, you know the show where Sunghoon declared about his undying love for Reene-” You cut in, tilting your head towards her, “Reene?” Jina rubbed her temples, “yeah, you know, the Reene! The one who always wears designers head to toe, she declared at Heeseung's birthday party that she was dating Sunghoon!”
“I know Reene, what does any of this have anything to do with Heeseung's apparent best friend?” You questioned and Hana continued, “right so, the person who heard the conversation was passing from there when Sunghoon and others started teasing Heeseung, and then someone from Mia's study group informed that she's coming here as an exchange student for 6 months, you know how Taehyun went to Japan last semester, just like that and oh my, she is coming to our university which means-”
You held your hand up to stop her from rambling further, “which means you're now trying to figure out who that girl is. Why don't we wait till our holidays are finished and figure that out when our next semester starts?”
They playfully rolled their eyes at your words but nodded, “yeah but it's fun this way.” You shrugged, adjusting your bag on your shoulder, “okay, as fascinating as this conversation was, I have a very important date with my bed. Try to fall out of love with him before the results are out, I almost lost my hearing after hearing you all cry at the rumor about Sunghoon dating Reene while working with all those chemicals.” They chuckled at your words, reminiscing about the incident at the start of semester and you waved them goodbye as you walked off, their hushed giggles trailing behind you.
*******
“Dear, someone is calling you on your phone!” You heard your mother shout and you quickly made your way inside your room. You frowned at the name displaying on the screen, Hana. You wondered why she was calling you mid holiday, it wasn't like you were friends with her but you picked up her call regardless. “Hey!” Her voice chirped from the other side of the phone, “how have you been? It's been a while since we talked, right?” You frowned, “I'm doing fine, you?” You heard her sigh, “I'm also doing good, just wanted to talk to you to check if you're doing okay.”
You hummed, waiting for her to speak further. “Oh god, have you heard about this?” She started, “I heard that Heeseung's childhood friend is from our major, what are the odds right?” You just looked at your phone's screen for a few seconds before sighing, “Hana I know damn well I'm not your gossip buddy and it's certainly not the reason why you called me up randomly in the middle of the holiday, what's up?” You could hear her pace around for sometime before she spoke again, “actually, you know how we have to do in-house projects next semester right? What sub-topic are you planning on taking the project on?”
A smile etched upon your face at her words, more like a smirk. You bit your lips, contemplating on how to progress this conversation. “Hana,” you sat at the edge of your bed, “I haven't decided that yet, you know how indecisive I can get right? What topic do you have in mind?” You heard her clear her throat, “oh? I haven't decided yet, that's why I was wondering if you could tell me yours so it would give me some direction.” You rolled your eyes, knowing her intentions well enough after spending so much time with her, “well that's too sad, you can always ask Prof. Kim for help, you know?” She coughed, “yeah yeah, of course I can do that, just thought I'd ask you first. Take care!”
*******
“Yes mom, I've got everything!” You reassure your mother for probably the 10th time since the past hour as you made your way towards your platform. Your mother nodded as your father helped you with the luggage for the time being. You spotted a shop and made your way towards it, “can I please have a can of soda?” You waited as the owner nodded. You smiled at the owner as she slid the can towards you, but your smile flattered in confusion when she slid another can too. “This is the last one, take it.” She smiled, and you shook your head, “I only need one grandma.”
“I'm not asking you to pay for this, consider this as my little gift to wish you a safe journey my child,” she gave you back the spare change after charging for only one can. Your mouth opened to reply but she just mischievously grinned at you before leaning in close, “something tells me you really need this.”
You chuckled lightly before keeping both the cans inside your bag and bid her goodbye. Enjoying an extra, free drink doesn't sound so bad after all. By the time you boarded the train, your knees hurt with all the shuffling between platforms and the late afternoon light was filling up the compartments.
You slid into an empty seat by the window, keeping your luggage closer as you relaxed in your seat. The train rocked gently as it made its way through different open fields, you leaned your head on your palm, watching the scenery. Halfway through the journey someone dropped on the seat across from you, pulling out her phone from her pockets with a sigh so heavy you almost felt it in your chest. For sometime neither of you acknowledged each other's presence visibly but you could hear her muttering under her breath as she furiously typed something on her phone.
Your eyes trailed towards her, there was a faint furrow between her brows as she put her phone back in her pocket. Her suitcase was tucked near her legs neatly, an airport tag still dangling on it. You watched the way her shoulder slumped after she talked with the ticket inspector and showed her ticket, resuming her previous position. You gulped, adjusting your own position when your eyes landed on two cans of soda and then towards the tired girl sitting in front of you, her expression was dejected just enough for you to make a decision in your head.
You took the spare can in your hand, leaning slightly towards her with a small polite smile, “you look like you're mourning first class.” The girl in front of you tore her eyes from the scenery and looked at you first before her eyes landed on your outstretched hand, “for me?” She questioned and you could hear the faint accent in her voice. You nodded and she tentatively took the can from your hand. “I kind of am,” she admitted as she turned her body to face you properly, “long story short, I arrived in the wrong city. I thought I selected the right one, and didn't pay much attention after. So now I'm stuck playing catch up.”
You opened your can as she did hers, “well, at least the train seats don't recline on your lap.” That pulled a laugh out of her. She took a sip for her soda then tilted her head towards you, “my name is Ella, what's yours?” You smiled as you told her your name and she nodded, “so are you headed somewhere exciting or just…back to reality?” You sighed, leaning against your seat, “back to campus, since the new semester is rolling in.” She hummed in acknowledgement, “I can understand, new semesters can be burdensome. I’m here for the student exchange program.” She told you the name of the university she had applied to and you grinned, “wait? Really? I go to that university!”
Her eyes lit up at your words and she leaned in, an excited grin plastered over her face, “omg this is great, my major is biotech, what about yours?” Your eyes widened, mouth parting in disbelief, “no way, that's my major.” She chuckled, “such a small world.” You nodded but then you remembered about the campus rumors and the thing Hana told you about, “so you'll be here for 6 months?” She nodded, “yeah.” Silence stretched over for a while then you glanced at her, “you have everything arranged already or do you need any help?” She shook her head lightly, “oh everything is taken care of, I thankfully was able to do everything without any hassle.”
You hummed in acknowledgement, looking out to see if your station would be the next one, “well six months are enough to know about all the good coffee shops around the city, I could show you around sometime if you want.” Her smile widened, “thanks, that would be great.” You grinned, throwing your now empty can in the trash bin nearby.
When you returned she looked at you, “so are you local or?” You shrugged, “not entirely a local, but I've been in the city long enough to know my way around.” The sound of the train's engine hummed along as you both talked about everything and nothing, the tired girl from earlier nowhere in sight. “I hope to see you often in the campus,” she waved after getting inside her cab and you nodded before you entered yours.
*******
Heeseung checked his reflection on the phone screen for the last time before he knocked, the door opened and his breath hitched. “Heeseung?” Ella smiled, opening the door further, inviting him in. He couldn't help the smile that etched upon his face as he saw her and before he could stop himself he gently pulled her into a hug. Ella stiffened but hugged him back before parting away, “my clothes are all dirty.” Heeseung laughed, placing two iced americanos on the table, “I don't really care.” Ella looked at the drinks, shaking her head but still smiled, “didn't think you'd still drink those awful drinks.”
The apartment smelled like cardboard and laundry detergent, and he watched the way Ella made her way towards a half unpacked suitcase, hair pulled back in a messy bun and sleeves of her top rolled up. She glanced up at him, “well? Are you just going to stand there and not help?” Heeseung rolled the sleeves of his hoodie up before he started helping her unpack. They worked silently side by side, with one of them occasionally commenting over trivial things. Heeseung asked her about journey and she whined about how hectic everything was.
“How about we get fresh before eating something?” Ella suggested as she pointed towards her bathroom and Heeseung nodded, taking a good look at the apartment to check if everything was perfect and made his way inside the bathroom. Ella offered him towels and made her way inside the bathroom after Heeseung was out. He sat on her desk chair, waiting for her when his eyes landed on a small box placed over the desk.
He lifted the box, rummaging through its contents in boredom when a framed photo caught his eyes. Them sitting on a bench, the night before Ella was about to leave for London, it was clicked by Sunghoon. He froze for a second, smile softening a little as he remembered that night. He had cried on Sunghoon's shoulder for the whole night after Ella went back home. He snapped out of his daze when he heard the bathroom door click shut behind him and he turned around to find Ella already looking at him.
“You kept that?” He questioned, voice unsure as if he was afraid to break the moment. “Yeah, why would I not?” She shrugged as she brought the americanos and takeout that Heeseung brought for them to eat. Heeseung watched her for a moment longer as both of them ate the food, it had been years since both of them stood in the same room and he thought the first time would be different than this. He imagined she would embrace him the way she did before, the kind of hug where they would melt in each other. Instead, there was an easy familiarity between them.
“How are others?” Ella questioned as she cleaned the dishes. Heeseung leaned against the counter, “they are doing good, you know Jay and Sunghoon have girlfriends now, you always complained about being the only girl in the group, you'd love them.” Ella washed her hands and turned towards him, “I know, I saw the instagram posts and everything but still I'm looking forward to meeting them.” Heeseung nodded and the conversation flowed towards all the things that happened while she was in London and vice versa. Heeseung bid her goodbye late in the evening, “good night.” She smiled, waving her hands, “good night, Hee.”
*******
You were walking around the quiet streets of your neighborhood, hoping the late night air would help you fall asleep when a familiar figure caught your eyes, “Ella!” you called, making your way across the road, towards her. She turned towards you, a smile adorning her face as she placed her headphones in her pocket, “what are the chances?” You looked around the street before your head turned back towards her when she asked, “what are you doing here?” You shrugged, “I live nearby.”
Ella raised her eyebrows in surprise, hands on her hips, “No way- are you serious? Same train, same campus, same major and now we are neighbors too?” She then pointed at the apartment building behind her and you laughed pointing at your own apartment building, “that's my apartment, so you can say we are neighbors.” Ella nodded her head as you grinned back at her. Minutes later, you found yourself sitting on the random bench on the street, right beneath a streetlight.
“I've been walking for nearly an hour,” you started, slumping against the backrest on the bench, “since I visited my parents, it would take me a while to get used to sleeping in my own bed again. I couldn't stay in my room without feeling like the walls were caving in.” Ella looked at you for a second before she nodded, “I can understand, I've been restless too but I'm not really sure it's because of the place or me.” You looked at her, “maybe both?” Ella huffed a laugh, before her eyes landed on her hands, “do you ever feel like you're doing all the things right, but it still feels a bit off?”
“I feel like that all the time,” you confessed, now sitting crossed leg on the bench, “that's why I'm out here walking around instead of sleeping in, it feels easier to keep moving instead of sitting with it.” She pulled her knees up, leaning her head against it, “same here, sometimes I wonder if it's just life now.” You hummed, toying with the sleeves of your hoodie, “maybe, but at least now I know there's someone else awake at this hour.” She gave you a small smile as you looked at her, “guess we are in the same boat..again.”
*******
The living room of Heeseung's apartment was a comfortable mess, pizza boxes lying around, half empty soda cans pushed to the sides, snacks stacked on the coffee table. The faint hum of Heeseung's playlist played in the background but it was barely audible over the laughter. Jake was first to engulf Ella in his arms, “finally! I hope you didn't forget what real food tastes like after living in London for so long.” Ella rolled her eyes at him as she hugged Jay, “shut up. London is great, but I won't lie when I say that I missed your weird toast-with-ketchup obsession.”
Sunghoon ruffled her hair, giving her a side hug, “did you bring any gifts? I hope you did after the emotional abandonment we faced because of you.” Ella just shook her head as she made herself comfortable on the couch, and Jay chimed in, “she didn't even pick up my FaceTime that one time.” Ella rolled her eyes, elbowing him, “it was 3 a.m at that time!” Heeseung watched the whole interaction from across the room, the way she eased into the group, teasing and laughing at their jokes, but there was something that still felt off about her, like there was a fraction of her somewhere else.
“Okay! Let's take a picture together just like old times, we need the latest version!” Jake declared and everyone gathered around Jake, trying to fit into the screen. The timer beeped before anyone could settle. Sunghoon was zoned out, Jay was caught mid-laugh, Heeseung was barely visible and Ella's hand was half raised for a peace sign, the only person who looked good in that picture was Jake and everyone looked at each other for a brief moment before attacking him. When the moment passed, everyone busied themselves with drinks and snacks.
Ella leaned against the couch as she watched the boys have fun, “I don't think I'll ever find people like you again.” Jay looked up at her from where he was sitting on the floor, “I know right? We are one of a kind.” Heeseung made his way towards her, leaning on the couch beside her, “you don't have to even try to find people like us you know? You can always come back here.” Ella turned her gaze towards him, her eyes holding something he couldn't quite name, “I know but I’m happy where I am right now, London is everything I've ever wanted.”
Her words hung in the air for some time before Jake cleared his throat, “yeah, we know. You always gushed about it and couldn't even contain your excitement when your father's company transferred there but don't you miss your life here?” Ella hummed, her shoulders brushing against Heeseung's, “I do, but with time I kind of got used to it you know? Plus I need to focus on taking over my dad's company.” Everyone nodded their heads solemnly and Ella's eyes found Heeseung's again, “you guys are also doing great here, I heard Hyphenix is very famous here.”
Heeseung gulped but nodded, without giving her any verbal answer. He just watched her join others on the floor, stealing some of Jay's snacks as Sunghoon and Jake laughed at their playful bickering. Heeseung could feel the weight of everything she wasn't saying out loud and for the first time since he knew her, he couldn't read her like he used to.
*******
The lecture hall smelled faintly of whiteboard markers and coffee, a scent that matched perfectly with the heavy atmosphere around the hall due to the guest lecturer's burnt out expressions. You were counting down seconds, constantly looking at your phone to see if the time had passed. Beside you, Ella sat stiffly, but you could tell she was seconds away from bolting out of the room. You heard her sigh heavily when the professor said ‘you know’ for what felt like the fourteenth time in the same sentence, then she leaned towards you, “why does he keep on saying ‘you know’ constantly, like please sir, we don't know!”
You stifled your laugh, biting the inside of your cheeks. You tried your best to not burst out laughing, apparently even the lamest joke seemed laughable when you were in the middle of a boring lecture. When the lecturer dismissed the class, you and Ella practically bolted the hall, trying your best to escape as soon as possible. You noticed a few people glancing at both of you as you walked down the hallway, well they were more likely looking at Ella, but neither of you acknowledged looking back at them. By the time both of you made it to your campus cafe, the conversation between you two started drifting towards a lighter topic.
The two of you sat in the far corner after ordering your drinks, laughter dying out as you sipped your drinks. “So,” Ella started, stirring her drink, “are you planning on taking an industrial route after your graduation or research one?” You kept your drink down, “my interest lean more towards research, animal cell culture to be specific for early oral cancer detection.” You leaned back against the chair as you looked at her, “it's tedious but if it worked, it can be huge. What about you?” Ella's expression brightened at your words, sliding her drink aside as she leaned on the table.
“That's brilliant. I lean more towards the industrial one, immunology you know? My dad owns a pharmaceutical company in London, so I've kind of grown up around it. But I'm going to try a different approach, more patient-driven than profit-driven.” You smiled, feeling excited after learning about her goals, “isn't it fascinating? Both of us are of the same major but with dreams so distinct.” Ella's lips curled into a soft smile as she tilted her head, “it sure is, that's the beauty of biotechnology, it's a really vast field.” You both talked for a long time, tucked into a corner of campus cafe as you both shared about the topic of your interest with each other.
It was rare for you to find someone so different yet so passionate as you. Most of your batch mates always listened to you ramble about some topic while giving few of their inputs but it felt refreshing to be the one on the receiving end of it. You watched her talk with her hands flying in the air as she mapped out things she had planned for her future. There was a steadiness in her voice as she spoke about her dad's company, not loud or boastful, just certain. And as both of you continued to talk more, the tiredness from all the lectures seemed to be an afterthought which faded into the background.
*******
“When am I going to meet your girlfriends?” Ella questioned as she nudged Jay and gave a look to Sunghoon, who just shrugged, “Mia is busy with her assignments and Reene is busy handling the upcoming event her mom requested her to handle but you'll meet them soon, don't worry.” It was late afternoon and the campus was alive with students sprawled all over the campus doing their own things. Some of them occasionally glanced at them but at this point, each of them were used to it. And there was no doubt they heard about the rumors going on about Heeseung and Ella too.
Heeseung sat across from where Ella was talking with Jay about something, half listening to Jake and Sunghoon argue about the setlist for their next show. His gaze drifted forward, inevitably. Ella was talking with Jay about something he couldn't quite hear over Jake's loud voice so he settled over just observing her.
He knew the Ella in front of him was different from the one who left him to go to London, it wasn't easily noticeable but it was, for him. She still laughed the same, it just landed quieter now, the way her shoulders never fully relaxed like she was always on guard. And still despite those changes, his chest still tightened with the same fact he'd known even before she left, that he was still devastatingly in love with her.
He rose up from his place without much thinking, legs moving towards where she stood with Jay, like he couldn't bear a second away from the little bubble that surrounded her. He arrived just in time to hear Ella squeal in excitement, “she's brilliant Jay, I feel like I'd have drowned this semester without her.” Heeseung frowned as he stood in front of them, head tilted in quiet curiosity, “who are you talking about?” Ella turned towards him, a bit startled but then eased a bit, “oh, my classmate! I met her on the train when I was sulking about my mixed flight details. She is the only person I talk with in my major and we are so much alike, she's heaven sent I swear.”
“Oh is that so? I think I need to meet her then,” Heeseung smirked. Ella's eyes widened, “you'd like her I swear.” She then turned towards Jay, excitement gleaming in her eyes, “literally Jay, both of them would have a great dynamic, I just feel it.” The conversation shifted after that, but Heeseung found his mind drifting towards the classmate Ella had mentioned
You were close to Ella, you mattered to her, your bond with Ella was good enough that she said you two were alike. And just like that something clicked inside his head, if he wanted to understand the Ella standing in front of him, the softer and guarded version, then maybe you were the bridge. Maybe you could teach him to learn Ella all over again.
*******
You and Ella were working silently on your separate experiments, the low hum of incubators and smell of ethanol clinging to your lab coat. You carefully cleaned up the area and slid the glass down right after. As soon as you locked the glass panel down, you removed your mask and exhaled loud enough for Ella to look towards you and laugh. You removed the gloves and threw it in the trash bin beside your foot, sanitizing your hand one last time before stretching.
“There are times like this when I cry thinking about what I thought while choosing this field,” you sighed, sitting on the worn out high-stool of your university's laboratory. Ella hummed from where she was inspecting her bacterial growth on the Agar before placing it back inside the incubator. She turned towards you, pout evident on her face, “I can understand, but I'm happy industrial biotech isn't as tedious and meticulous as animal cell culture.” You shook your head, grabbing your water bottle, “I'll be back, going to grab some water.”
The hallway is warmer than your lab as you shut the door behind you, the smell of chlorine still lingering in the air after the janitor mopped the floor. You leaned your head against the water cooler while filling your bottle, the cool air distracting you from your exhaustion for a while. You closed the nozzle and capped your bottle when the cold water dripped down your fingers. You turned around, making your way back into the lab, pushing the door halfway open when a voice cut through the quiet corridor.
“Wait! Hey- sorry to disturb you but do you know where the Biotech Lab 4 is?” You glanced towards the voice, eyebrows twitching at the sheer stupidity of it all. Heeseung stood before you, right below the huge sign that said ‘Biotech Lab 4,’ in bold black letters. It was almost like the universe has handed you a comedy skit and wanted you to improvise it on the spot.
You leaned against the doorframe, a bored expression plastered on your face, “that depends.” Heeseung's eyes brows creased, unable to understand what you were trying to imply so he questioned, “depends on what?” You massaged your temple, looking up towards the sign as if it would give you some answers, “on whether you can read or not.” He just blinked at you, like you spoke in the language he couldn't understand. One corner of his lips twitched, with amusement or disbelief, you weren't sure, “okay? Wow, I was just asking you for directions, not the results of my literacy test.”
“And I was just answering your question,” you smiled sarcastically while pointing your finger towards the sign, “that's Biotech Lab 4, you're literally standing in front of it.” His head tilted in the direction your finger was pointing at when you spoke again, “big sign, kinda hard to ignore isn't it?” Heeseung tilted his head to look at you then, eyes narrowing at your sarcasm, “do you know who I am?” The words left his mouth before he could even think through them.
You didn't hesitate, just casually leaned your weight on the other leg, “Yeah, I do.” Heeseung relaxed, placing his hands inside his hoodie. “You're the guy who fell on his butt near the water fountain last semester,” you watched how he tensed, mouth parting in utter disbelief. “That was, no you didn't, how do you know that?” He questioned, looking around to check if anyone was listening. You rolled your eyes, “well I always leave the campus late, so I've seen a handful of things I shouldn't have.”
He gave you a defeated look before running a hand through his hair, exhaling heavily. You pushed the door open all the way, “come on, you're looking for Ella right?” His hands curled into fists but he still followed you with a sweet smile, muttering something about how slippery the floor was that day. Ella put her phone inside her pocket, smiling as soon as she spotted you and Heeseung. “Oh? Heeseung? Hii! What brought you here?”
Heeseung leaned against the counter, completely ignoring your presence. You could practically see heart bursting out from his eyes as he smiled back at her, “Mia and Reene wanted to meet you, when will you be free?” You watched as Ella tilted her head then her eyes found yours. You smiled, checking the time, “I think we will be done by 5 for today.” Heeseung looked at you for a second then back at Ella who just nodded, “okay, after 5 it is. We both have to complete a few tasks before that.”
Heeseung nodded, straightening up, “cool, I'll tell them about it then.” Heeseung was about to turn around when Ella stepped closer, hands in her coat pockets, “Heeseung, I forgot to introduce earlier but she is the classmate I was telling you and Jay about.” You raised your eyebrows, keeping the water bottle on the counter, “you talk about me?” Ella laughed, nudging her shoulder with yours, “of course, you're like the only person I can tolerate in our major.”
Heeseung watched the exchange between you and Ella with a tight expression. His eyes analyzed the way Ella was visibly more relaxed and less guarded in your presence. Ella then turned towards him, her smile never wavering as she hooked her arm with you, “actually Hee, how about you ask Mia and Reene to join us here in the lab, we can make plans with them right after that.” Heeseung nodded, finally flicking his gaze towards you, he looked at you just long enough to let you know that you're under his annoying stranger radar.
He turned around, shutting the door behind him as Ella's words rang in his ears ‘you'd like her I swear,’ he wondered what Ella thought while she even said that to him. He sighed, he was supposed to be on your good side, instead you managed to fluster and humiliate him, all at the same time. You sighed as the sound of footsteps faded away, biting back the smile that was threatening to etch upon your face. He was easy to rile up.
“Why are you staring at the door, get on with your work,” Ella slapped your shoulder lightly, “we need to start working on our shared report by 2.” You nodded, taking a fresh pair of gloves from the box and sanitizing your hair before you resumed your experiment as Ella focused on her own. By the time evening arrived, both of you were huddled together as you researched the papers while Ella typed the information beside you, a faint scent of ethanol still lingering in the air when the sounds of footsteps followed by 2 quick knocks caught both of your attention.
Two figures stood by the door, the comparatively shorter one with her soft sweater and shoes, Mia, you recognized and beside her stood Reene, in all her designer glory. Both of them smiled at you, stepping in when they finally got your attention. “Ella?” Mia smiled, eyes scanning the lab in wonder, “Heeseung said you'd be free by now, I hope weren't interrupting you two!” Ella grinned as both of you arranged two additional chairs for them, “not really, we were about to pack up. By the way, this is my lab partner and a dear friend.”
“Hey!” You waved at both of them, introducing your name. You watched Reene’s eyes flicker towards numerous pipettes, flasks and the mess of your current report on the counter, “biotech is a bold choice, not many people walk this path.” You hummed, nodding in agreement, “you're right, but handling mega events while keeping up with your own major is also a bold choice, don't you think?”
Reene’s eyes widened in surprise, “oh you keep tabs on me?” You shrugged, organizing your notes absentmindedly, “kind of hard not to, with all the rumors that spread around the campus. It reaches your ears even when you don't want them too.” Mia groaned, nodding her head in agreement, “I swear, but it's worse when the rumors are about you, I lost count on how many people approached me to ask what I wrote in those confession letters so they could do the same.”
“No way!” Your mouth fell open and Reene just shook her head solemnly, “yeah right, people in this university can be invasive.” It didn't take much longer for the conversation between the four of you to start rolling smoothly. You all were laughing, telling random stories about the campus and classmates. Mia told about how one girl asked her to write a letter for her for $50 and how she flat out rejected her offer by telling her that getting together with Jay was never the plan. “At an event I was organising on behalf of my mother, one guy literally sent flowers on my mom's name thinking it was my name and it was so chaotic in my house that day, dad and I still tease mom about it,” Reene recalled and all of you laughed as she gave more details, clutching your stomachs.
You sighed heavily, calming down a little, “you see that burner over there?” You pointed at the burner not far from you and three of them nodded, “that's called Bunsen's burner, and for context, you need to shut the nozzle off since it's a burner and not a candle. So during my first semester here, a girl used it for some time then shifted her focus on the notes. The professor pointed out that she shouldn't keep the flame burning if she wasn't using it, so she blew out the flame, by her mouth, right in front of the professor. The professor was so horrified and shocked that she shut off the nozzle herself and went out for a 5 minute walk.”
“Oh my god,” Mia exclaimed as Ella laughed, leaning her weight on you, “is that girl doing okay now?” You nodded, “well better than her first semester self at least.” More stories were exchanged, and you found yourself learning more about the two girls aside from how the rumors portrayed them. When the laughter and teasing died out, Ella coughed, wiping her tears, “I think I needed this, I haven't laughed like this in a long time.”
You and Reene agreed, and Mia leaned forward, eyes trained on Ella, “well now tell us, how did you meet Hyphenix? Any special story?” Ella smiled, adjusting her coat a little, “there's no special story, I was Heeseung's neighbour and we played a lot together, then at the end of middle school he introduced me to the rest of the boys and they just kind of let me in.” Reene nodded, “do you miss the boys there? I know they miss you here.” Ella smiled, “yeah, of course I do, but you get used to it.”
“What about Heeseung? You have spent more than half of your life with him, there surely must be times when you want to share something with him but he's not there,” Mia said carefully, and you saw the way her eyes flickered towards Reene for a brief second. Ella cleared her throat, laughing awkwardly, “Heeseung, yeah, I would be lying if I said I didn't miss him the most. He has been my best friend for as long as I can remember, he was my childhood you know?”
Reene hummed, dusting off an invisible lint from her top, “do you think you'll ever come back here?” You watched the way Ella sighed, her shoulders slumping a little, barely noticeable. “I love London, that's my hometown after all, it was my dad's dream to open a pharmaceutical company there, and I've seen how much work he had put into getting where he is now. And I always wanted to follow his footsteps, that hasn't changed. It probably won't, ever.” Mia leaned against her chair, “I get that.”
Ella looked at you before turning her head towards Mia and Reene, “as much love as this city has given me, London will always be my true home where my parents, grandparents and cousins are.” There was a brief silence after Ella was done, a heavy atmosphere surrounding you all. You gulped, contemplating on whether to divert the topic or not, “I'm hungry, who wants to grab something to eat?” All three heads turned towards you and Reene was the first one to stand up followed by Mia and Ella, “thank god, I was starving.”
*******
“Hey!” Mia hugged you as soon as she opened the door to Heeseung's apartment. You hugged her back, giving her space to embrace Ella who stood a step behind you. “Guys, they are here!” She called out as three of you made your way towards the living room. Heeseung's apartment was lit in a golden glow which made everything feel more warm. You stopped at the entrance when all the heads turned towards you and Ella, a nervous smile etching up on your face.
You knew every person in that room, some way or the other. Their names, their stories, the whispers your classmates traded in hushed tones. You had watched Hyphenix perform countless times, you knew about all of them in your own way. Yet, ironically, you were nothing more than a stranger to them. Ella gave your hand a gentle tug and you turned your head towards her, “the new round is starting, let's join.” Your eyes scanned the room, Sunghoon and Reene were sitting on one end of the couch, Heeseung sitting on the other end. Jake, Jay, Mia were perched upon the floor in a half circle and Ella dragged you to join them.
“Whether you're new here or not, we don't go easy on anyone,” Jake pointed his finger at you as he began to distribute UNO cards. You smiled, arching your brows as you picked up your card, immediately shielding them and arranging it to your preference as the game started. The floor was a mess, cans of soda, half eaten snacks sprawled over it, and the UNO cards scattered in the middle. You were sitting in between Jake and Jay, knees drawn up, and cards in your hand hidden like they are sacred. Jake leaned back, eyeing Jay with a mischievous glint, “Jay, if you have a special card, put it down.”
You rolled your eyes knowing full well he was trying to make you lose, “that's a pathetic move.” Jake shrugged his shoulders, “more like strategy.” Jay chuckled a bit, briefly glancing at you before he slammed down a Draw Four, “I'm sorry but it was the only one I could draw.” You sighed as Jake fell on his back, laughing, “take that.” You looked at the cards in your hands then back at him. “Oh sweetie,” you sighed as you laid down your own Draw Four and stacking it on the top, “take that back.”
“What the fuck?” Jake sat back up, jaw dropped before looking at Jay, “she's a menace, Jay help me to not let her win.” Ella laughed from where she was sitting beside Jake, “don't underestimate her Jake.” Jake sighed, picking up the cards with a pout on his face, “this is bullying, I want to restart.” You shook your head, chuckling, “you keep on saying that and then target me.”
Across from you, Mia is bickering with Jay about the cards in his hand, she wasn't playing but rather watching, she leaned towards him, “save the wild card for later.” Jay shot her a glance, then looked back at his cards, “that's not how you win butterfly.” Mia leaned against the couch, throwing her hands in exasperation, “that's exactly why you're losing.” Behind them, Sunghoon angled his phone to catch the two of them bickering while Reene sipped her drink, watching with an amused smile on her face.
The vibe was loud and easy as the game continued, Jake made another sorry attempt at making Jay team up with him to make you lose only to watch you win another round by slipping your last card without a word. Ella got up from her spot and collapsed beside you as Jake got up, pulling his hair in frustration. You laughed, balancing yourself with one hand as you almost stumbled a bit, Ella coughed, trying to control her own laughter, leaning against you and you slid your hand across her shoulders.
Your eyes unintentionally drifted towards Heeseung, whose eyes were trained on Ella. You noticed he wasn't talking much, but you knew he was present in the moment with the way his expressions flickered when something interesting happened. Though you also noticed he hadn't said anything directly to you. Eventually, the room settled into quiet chaos, the music was toned down to shift the mood accordingly. You, Ella, Mia and Reene were sprawled against the couch while the boys sat down, talking about nothing in particular.
“I need some water, can anyone tell me where the kitchen is?” You questioned as you stood up from the couch, expectantly looking at Ella. She smiled, about to move from her spot when Heeseung got up, making his way past you, “I'll show you the way.” You looked at Ella briefly and she just shrugged so you followed Heeseung as he made his way towards the kitchen. The kitchen was quiet except for the faded voices coming from the living room. Heeseung moved around the corner, pulling a glass from the cabinet before filling it with water.
He handed you the glass, his eyes lingering on you for a second longer, “you and Ella seem pretty close.” He leaned his weight on the counter as he watched you drink the water, “it used to be me and her like that in the past.” You put the glass on the counter, the coolness of the water soothing your throat, “sometimes people change, it's not always a bad thing.” He hummed, crossing his arms across his chest, nodding, “you say that like you've already decided I'm the bad thing.”
You picked up the glass to take another sip in a failed attempt at hiding your grin, “I did not say that, but don't you think it's kind of ironic, watching someone who used to be close to you get closer to someone else…like me.” He scoffed at your words, “ironic or karmic?” You put the glass in the sink before making your way in front of him, “that depends.” He rolled his eyes at the familiar words but you just smiled as you continued, “that depends on whether you are planning to steal her back or you're just here to stalk your replacement.”
Heeseung laughed, shaking his head, “you're more dangerous than I thought, Jake was right, you're a menace.” You folded your arms across your chest, “oh so you were paying attention after all, just like I thought, you're nosy but act nonchalant.” You watched the corner of his mouth twitch like he was about to say something but decided otherwise. Instead, he brushed past you, again, the sleeve of his t-shirt brushing against your arm. “Come on,” he said, glancing over his shoulder, “I don't want them to think I killed you or something.”
The apartment went quiet after everyone had dinner and washed the dishes. You and Reene shared the bed while Mia and Ella slept on the mattress the boys had arranged on the floor. You all drifted off to sleep after gossiping for a while, meanwhile, the boys had claimed Heeseung's bedroom. Heeseung and Sunghoon shared the bed, while Jay and Jake laid on the mattress on the floor. The room was dark except for the dim light of Heeseung's lamp casting shadows on the walls.
It was silent for a while, then Jake sighed, loud enough to gain everyone's attention, “when Ella informed she'll be bringing her classmate along, I was prepared to have an awkward night. But I was surprised with how well she fit in.” Jay hummed, looking at the ceiling, “yeah, she matched the energy well, didn't get intimidated, that's rare.” Sunghoon sat up, leaning against the headboard as he scrolled through his phone, “it felt like she had been hanging around with us for a long time. What do you think, Heeseung?”
All the attention shifted towards Heeseung, who just kept his phone on the night stand, a sigh leaving his lips, “I also noticed something else.” Sunghoon's brows creased, “what?” Heeseung sat up, running a hand through his hair, “she's close to Ella, like genuinely close. I mean, Ella doesn't get comfortable easily, she also never really brought any of her other friends in our hangouts. She's close to her.” Jake raised his eyebrows at his words, a smile stretching up on his face, “ooh seems like someone was paying close attention.”
“I was,” Heeseung stated, “I had to, ever since Ella came back from London, I felt like she was keeping her distance, today was the first time I saw her fully relaxed you know.” Others nodded in agreement. “So I was wondering,” he looked at all three of them slowly, “okay, hear out, I want to get closer to Ella, like I used to be, and I need to confess to her before it's too late too. Do you think I should ask her for help?” Jay raised an eyebrow, now sitting up, “you want her to help you get closer to Ella?”
Heeseung nodded, “yeah, I mean she seems to understand the older version of Ella in a way most of us haven't and if Ella likes her enough to invite her to our hangouts, maybe she can…I don't know…she can maybe soften the ground for me?” Jay placed his chin on the bed, looking at Heeseung, “it depends on whether she'll agree to help you, and from what I've seen today, if she agreed, she might be your best shot.” Sunghoon sighed, looking at Jay, “or he can just confess his feelings directly to Ella? Why involve a third person?”
“I want it to be perfect, I want to get to know this version of Ella before I make my move,” Heeseung mumbled, eyes falling on the photo frame of him and Ella on his desk. “Heeseung, you know we will support you regardless, if you think that's a good plan then go ahead, but make sure she is comfortable first okay? Don't fret her over it if she rejects,” Jake said, making himself comfortable on the mattress. “Of course, I'll only go through it if she agrees.”
*******
“I'll get going, don't forget to text me when you reach home okay? Don't spend too much time in the lab,” Ella rambled as she packed her belongings inside her bag, along with a few other classmates. You nodded, cleaning up your space before opening your laptop to get done with your individual report. "Don't worry about her, she’ll be fine,” you heard one of your classmates, Yubin, say as she handed you a few candies. You waved them goodbye as they left, your smile dropping into a pout as you looked at the now empty lab.
You had unconsciously gotten used to having Ella's company that being alone now felt weird, although you had always preferred working alone. Ella had informed you she had plans with a few of her friends from high school so she'll be leaving early. By the time evening arrived, you were a mess, surrounded by various research papers and notebooks, your laptop pushed back a little, a few candy wrappers spread near your laptop like confetti, and you leaned your head against the counter fighting to stay sane internally.
The hallway was quiet, and the slow hum of incubators rotating filled the room. You closed your laptop, deciding it was best to leave when the door of your lab burst open. “Heeseung?” You questioned, surprised to see him in your lab, “Ella went home early.” Heeseung nodded as he pulled a chair right in front of you, “I know.” Your eyebrows furrowed, “then? Are you lost or something?" He made himself comfortable on the chair, eyes scanning the lab, “kind of, will you help me with that?”
You looked at him for a while before turning around to gather your notebooks and research papers. “So,” you started, keeping everything one by one inside your bag, “tell me, what's up?” He looked at you for a while before sighing and looking at his hands, “it's about Ella.” You eyed him from the corner of your eye, “figured.” He looked up but you were busy cleaning up your space. “I don't know how to start, I know this is weird,” he scratched the back of his neck, “but I've noticed how close you're with Ella, and I want to get closer to her and maybe even tell her how I feel, I don't want to mess it up.”
“So you are asking me to help you with that,” you commented, zipping your bag and keeping it aside. “If you're okay with it,” he added, “or you can just plainly tell me this is a bad idea.” You chuckled at his nervous tone, leaning your elbow on the counter, “I don't know if you're aware, but you're very obvious, I almost cried watching you that night.” He groaned, throwing his head back in frustration, “that bad?” He looked at you with hopeful eyes. You shrugged, “pretty bad actually,” you replied but the way the corners of your mouth lifted up, it landed softly.
He lifted up a candy wrapper from the counter as the silence stretched between you two, “I am not asking you to do anything huge, just a little nudge in the right direction.” You hummed, eyes trained on the way his fingers fiddled with the wrapper, “I'm not going to write you scripts.” He scoffed, looking in your eyes, “I wouldn't follow it anyway.” You raised your eyebrows but nodded, “sounds like you.” He shifted in his seat, leaning his elbow over his knees, “see, if you feel like this will put you in a spot, say no. I mean it. I don't want to ruin what you have with her.”
You tapped your fingers on the counter, thinking about his words, “good to know you're being this considerate, I do appreciate no mess.” He smiled, looking towards the whiteboard filled with various procedures and protocols before he looked back at you, “so?” He questioned, voice getting softer, “will you think about it? I don't need your answer right now, take your time. If you think this is a bad idea, tell me that, or maybe if you feel I should do something differently, tell me that too.”
You looked at him for a while, the way he still fiddled with the wrapper to hide his nervousness, the way he kept avoiding your gaze but still decided to get vulnerable and talk about his feelings with you, something inside you shifted. “I'll think about it and tell you soon,” you found yourself saying before you could form any mental decision over it but you also realized you didn't mind the idea at all. He straightened up, sighing in relief, “okay, thanks.”
You grabbed the last candy and placed it on his palm after taking away the wrapper from his hand. He looked at it for a while before he grinned at you, “shouldn't I be the one to give you something? Like payment in advance?” You laughed, keeping the wrapper in your bag, “you can do that if I agree to help you.” He hummed as he kept the candy in his pocket, “okay, as much as I hate to say this, but thanks for being there for her, at least she's comfortable fully somewhere. She laughs a lot with you.”
You shrugged, like his words didn't make your chest tighten a bit, “what can I say, I'm funny.” He shook his head in amusement but didn't disagree. He got up, giving you one last glance before he made his way out of your lab. The sound of his footsteps echoed down the hallway and you cleaned your work space and checked everything in the room before you grabbed your bag, locking the lab door behind you as you made your own way towards your apartment.
*******
“Should I attach the fairy lights above my headboard or ceiling?” Ella questioned as she scrolled through her Pinterest moodboard while you were sitting on her bedroom floor, untangling the wires of the said fairy lights. It was Sunday afternoon, the sunlight spilled through her window and enveloped the room in its warmth. She had invited you to hang out and both of you got bored so you decided to decorate her room a bit. “Umm,” you thought as you grimaced at a stubborn knot that refused to untangle, “headboard would be nice, easy to place, easy to take off.”
You heard her hum in agreement as she sat down in front of you, helping with the rest of the lights. Both of you had done quite a good job rearranging some of her furniture and you liked the way her room had more space than it did before. “Alright, let's get started with the final decoration,” she declared as you grabbed a pair of scissors and double sided tape to help her. She adjusted the lights on the walls, taping it, while you gave her directions and cut the tape for her. When you both were done, she heaved a sigh, looking at you proudly as you leaned against her shoulder, “this turned out to be better than I imagined.
You were sitting on the edge of her bed while she was slumped against her chair, both of you mindlessly scrolling through your phones after eating snacks together. You looked at her for a while before you reached for your bag and pulled out the photo frame you had made. It was a picture of you and her, on the train station, smiling brightly as both of you held your soda cans as if they were trophies. You got up and put the frame on the desk, face down, beside her. She looked at you confused as you made your way back towards the bed.
“Souvenir,” you shrugged as she gave you a skeptical look before taking the frame in her hands. “Oh my god, you did not just frame this ridiculous picture of us together, I look like an idiot,” she exclaimed but there was a huge smile plastered on her face. You grinned back, “that was the whole point, plus I look like an idiot too.” She rolled her eyes at your remark, “you're corny.” You hummed, leaning against her headboard, “corny and thoughtful I would say.” She shook her head but neatly placed the frame on her desk, right beside where her and Heeseung's photo frame was placed.
“Is that you and Heeseung?” You questioned and Ella stayed silent for a moment before nodding her head. “You guys looked so small there, I've never seen Heeseung like that,” you remarked, leaning a bit closer to have a clear look. Ella chuckled, adjusting both the photo frames, eyes lingering towards Heeseung's picture for a second too long, “this was taken on my last night here. I was so excited about going to London that I didn't think how lonely it would feel without him being there.”
You watched the way her eyes kept flickering back towards the photo frame, “you two were close, that was meant to happen.” Ella nodded, resting her hand on her desk, “yeah, I mean we had known each other since forever, he was always there for me. I guess I never realized how much I was dependent on him until I couldn't just walk over to his house or text him to be at mine.” You tilted your head as you looked at her, “did you tell him that?” She turned her head to look at you, a small chuckle escaping her lips, “what? No. Heeseung and I, we don't do that, we don't talk about feelings like that. We used to tease each other a lot, we joked around a lot but the real stuff? It always stayed in silence.”
“Sometimes silence says more than words,” you shrugged, and she nodded, “maybe that's true, but the silence kept getting bigger, and I don't know if words can even fill them anymore.” You got up from the bed and made your way towards the photo frame. You reached for it, gently tracing the edges, “you can always try again, people just don't stop mattering you know?” She gave you a tight smile, but her eyes stayed far away. “He still hates coffee, I can't function without it anymore. He's still the same Heeseung but I don't feel like my high-school self anymore. I guess we grew in different directions.”
She didn't look at you after that, and you took it as your sign to not press the matter further. You put the frame back to where it was before, in its exact place. It was obvious, the way both of them were trying to be strong for the other in that photo, the way they smiled but it didn't quite reach their eyes.
You felt a weird tug at your heart, so you forced yourself to tear your eyes away from it. You diverged the conversation to a different topic, picking up the easy going vibe that both of you had settled earlier but somewhere at the back of your mind, her words lingered. Maybe helping Heeseung get closer to her wouldn't just be good for him, maybe it could be good for her too.
*******
“Guys,” Jake wiggled his eyebrows as he got up from his seat, “guess who I saw at the campus cafe today.” Hyphenix were currently inside their music room, done with their rehearsal of the day, ready to head out. Jay shook his head, keeping his guitar inside the case, “hopefully not another poor soul you found cute.” Jake frowned, crossing his arms across his chest, “what do you mean poor soul? Also, it's not about that. I saw Ella and Heeseung together, drinking coffee, just the two of them.” All eyes turned towards Heeseung who was already making his way towards the door, but stopped.
Sunghoon smirked as Heeseung turned back towards them, “ohh so the plan had already begun.” Jay walked up to Jake, slinging an arm over his shoulders while looking at Heeseung, “so Mr. First Love, is the plan working so far?” Heeseung pretended to look anywhere else, avoiding their gazes, “her classmate hasn't given me her answer yet, there's no plan for now.” Sunghoon nudged his shoulder against Heeseung's, “and what if she says no, gonna give up?” Heeseung frowned, “no? Why would I give up on her? I'll find another way.” His ears turned red as soon as he realized the weight of his words and others shared cheeky smiles between them.
Jake shook his head, controlling his laughter, “okay but it is so entertaining to watch Heeseung now, I saw him fixing his hair before entering the cafe you know?” Heeseung's eyes widened and he lunged towards to kick Jake in the ass, “I was just fixing my messy hair.” Sunghoon laughed, finding the sight amusing, “sure Heeseung, whether you were fixing your hair because it was messy or because of a certain Missy, it is indeed entertaining to watch you.” Heeseung huffed a breath, as others chuckled at the banter. Eventually, after calming down, all of them made their way out of the music room, bidding each other goodbye.
You were making your way towards the music room when you came across Jake, almost bumping into him. “Easy there, trouble.” You rolled your eyes, “done with your rehearsals?” He nodded, “what brought you here?” You frowned, eyes darting towards the closed door of the music room, “so everyone just left?” He followed your line of vision before he turned back to you, “yes, were you waiting for someone?” He smirked as he leaned down a bit to whisper, “let me tell you one thing, in Hyphenix, other than me, everyone else is booked. So your stalking attempts are futile.”
You pursed your lips together, crossing your arms across your chest, “only you are single? I can understand.” His mouth parted in disbelief, “what do you mean you can understand?” You shrugged, adjusting your bag on your shoulder, “I mean, who would date a crybaby.” Jake's eyes widened, “crybaby? I'm not a crybaby!” You hummed impatiently, “and I'm not trouble.” He opened his mouth to retort but stopped, “you said all of that just so you could tell me to not call you trouble?”
You gave him a tight smile, “exactly, I prefer playing long games.” He exhaled a long breath before a genuine smile etched upon his lips, “I saw Heeseung making his way towards the locker room.” You nodded, as he pointed towards the hallway that led towards the locker room. You smirked as you watched him before you pulled his ear, “thanks for telling crybaby.” He rubbed his ear as he watched you walk in the direction of the locker room, “such a trouble.”
You peeked inside the locker rooms, noticing that not many students were present inside. You made your way inside, scanning through the numerous aisles to see if you could spot Heeseung. You exhaled when you finally spotted him in front of his locker, at the far end. “Are you stalking me now?” He smirked, not even looking at you as he shut his locker off. You rolled your eyes, leaning against the lockers, “in your dreams.” Heeseung chuckled, turning to look at you, “don't you have a class to attend?” His question caught you off guard, “my class?” You pointed towards yourself and he nodded, “hmm it got cancelled but how do you know about that?”
“Ella told me,” He shrugged and you hummed, of course, he and Ella are close friends, he likes Ella, he would know about her schedules. “Right, lovesick puppy.” He narrowed his eyes at you, “I'm not a lovesick puppy.” You nodded, “hmm lovesick hamster maybe?” He groaned, dragging his hand down his face, “you aren't gonna let me live, are you?” You shrugged, biting back a smile, “no, not when you're this entertaining.” He rolled his eyes, stepping closer when you straightened up, “anyways, I came here to say that I thought about your request and I decided that I'll help you, with Ella.”
His expressions softened, and you rolled your eyes, “now you look more like a kicked puppy.” He ignored your comment and stood in front of you, “do you really mean it? You'll really help me?” You nodded, leaning your weight on your other leg, “why are you looking at me like that? You asked for my help, I agreed, I don't go back on my words, even if it's about hopeless cases.” He tilted his head, pointing his finger at you, "you, did you just call me hopeless? I'm not hopeless. I just need strategic guidance.”
“Strategic guidance?” You repeated, drawing out the words as if tasting them, “that's one way to say it.” He put his hands inside his pocket, raising his eyebrows, “so when do you think you'll be free enough to grace me with your divine presence and bestow this lost soul with your guidance?” You raised your eyebrows, “hmm how does Friday evening sound?” You watched him think for a while before he shrugged, “sounds good.” You nodded as you dug into your bag, pulling out a candy and handing it to him.
He looked at you, then at the candy in your hand before blinking twice in confusion. “What's this for?” He questioned. “For truce,” you shrugged as you walked back towards the door, “you'll need it.” He laughed, walking alongside you, “thanks? I guess? This is the weirdest partnership I've ever been a part of.” You rolled your eyes, “get used to it.” You waved at him as you turned away to walk towards your building.
*******
You cleared your throat, adjusting your posture before you rang the doorbell to Heeseung's apartment. You counted exactly three when the door opened and he appeared in front of you, a lazy smile on his face. He stepped aside, and you walked in, feeling a bit awkward since it was the first time you and him were alone like this. “Have a seat, I'll bring some snacks and drinks,” Heeseung informed as he disappeared inside his house and you made your way towards his living room.
He kept some snacks and drinks on the coffee table before he switched on the TV, somehow managing to not say a single word while doing so. You leaned against the couch, eyes trained on him as he roamed around the room setting the vibes. He finally sat on the other end of the couch, and you sighed, “are you ready princess?” He turned his head towards you, eyebrows creasing, “did you just call me princess? Princess?” You shrugged, “how does pookie sound?” He shook his head, pursing his lips. “Okay Pancake is it,” you declared as you reached for the snacks.
“I reject that one too,” he muttered as he grabbed the drink. “I wasn't asking you this time around Pancake,” you retorted. He opened his mouth to say something but you cut him off, “so what do you have in mind?” His eyes widened, “huh? We are directly jumping into it?” You rolled your eyes, “now what did you expect we cuddle first?” He stuttered, mumbling choruses of no while frantically waving his hands. You chuckled before looking around his living room, “where's your laptop?” He tilted his head, “in my room.” You nodded before getting up and making your way towards his room.
His head followed your movements before he stopped you, “we are going to my room? What about the drinks and snacks?” You looked back at him then towards the snacks and drinks he meticulously brought, “well they aren't going to walk by themselves so of course you'll bring them to your room right?” He closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened it, you were gone. He groaned, switching the TV off and gathering everything before making his way towards his bedroom. “If you were planning on doing all the planning inside my room, could've just said so,” he complained as he placed everything on the floor.
You hummed, making yourself comfortable by leaning against the edge of his bed, on the floor, “should've asked first.” He sighed before sitting adjacent to you, opening his laptop and turning it towards you. “Hmm I was thinking,” you started, taking the tissue and wiping your fingers, “how about we start everything with something which isn't quite a date but also a date?” He tilted his head, “like a coffee date?” You shook your head, “no there would be other people too, it needs to be more intimate so that both of you would have some space to converse properly.”
“What do you suggest?” He questioned and you thought for a while before sighing, “how about a cozy movie night? Just the two of you.” He nodded as you showed him pictures on the Pinterest, “you can put up some warm lights on, and a movie both of you would enjoy, then have some dinner together.” He pointed at the pictures which he liked, “yes, I can make some pillow forts for maximum comfort.” You looked at him, nodding in agreement, “we can also make some playlist together which you can play during dinner to set the whole vibe.” His eyes lit up, “oh we can do that!”
“Then let's make a playlist together,” you suggested, taking the laptop on your lap and he slid beside you, leaning towards the screen. “Shall we look at your playlist first?” You questioned as waited for him to give you a signal, he hummed, one arm draped over the bed behind you as he watched you move. “Okay,” you leaned closer towards the screen, “we absolutely aren't adding this one.” He squinted his eyes, looking at you, “why not? That's a classic.” You clicked your tongue, “it's tragic, not cozy.” Then he pointed at another track, which you didn't add, “we aren't playing The Weeknd on a cozy date, that's literally illegal.”
He removed his hand from behind, turning his whole body towards you, “what? Why not?” You sighed, running your hand through your hair, “because Ella doesn't listen to his music. She'll reject you before even confessing, don't give her an ick.” His eyes were focused on the screen, but his lips twitched a bit, “you keep on rejecting my suggestions, you like dictatorship.” You gave him a side eye, “I keep rejecting because your music taste is completely different than Ella. I just don't want it to clash on the date.” He slowly hummed, finally looking in your eyes, “but my music taste isn't bad right?” You looked at him for a while before you gave him a small smile, “it's good, just not Ella's taste.”
“Is it your taste?” He questioned and your fingers hovered over the keyboard, eyes scanning down the list of songs that he had added in his personal playlist, “hmm you can say that.” You then looked at him, “my music taste is very vast though.” After that, both of you somehow managed to create a whole playlist without much fight. “More than half of this playlist is filled with your suggested songs,” he exclaimed and you rolled your eyes, “well do you know about Ella's taste in music? No right? If you did, then this playlist would have been filled with your suggestions instead, Pancake.”
Doubt crept in your head when all you heard was silence after you said that and you turned to look at him to check if you crossed your limits when he smacked a pillow on your shoulder. Your eyes widened in surprise and you got up, keeping the laptop aside, and taking another pillow and throwing it right at his face. “Yah, your assault was uncalled for!” You yelled as you smacked him once again. He crouched down, easily snatching the pillow from your hand and threw it away, “you slandered me first, I'm wounded and so is my pride.”
You rolled your eyes, a soft giggle escaping your lips as you reached out to take the laptop in your hand as you stood in the middle of his room. You glanced towards him, and he was already looking at you and for a moment you felt a weird coil twist inside your gut. You cleared your throat, making your way towards the bed, sitting beside him. Both of your legs perched on the floor, mimicking his position. “Okay so now that the playlist is done, let's see what movies you could suggest to her,” you spoke, avoiding his eyes.
You balanced his laptop in the air with one hand as you typed with the other to look for movie suggestions. “This one looks good-” Heeseung leaned in, trying to show you a movie you scrolled past by reaching towards the screen at the exact same time your grip shifted. “Heeseung!” You squeaked, fumbling to grab the laptop with your other hand. He panicked too, his hand darting under yours. His palm pressed against the back of your hand, steadying the laptop in one move.
The laptop was saved, but you could feel your fingers trembling beneath his warm ones. His fingers pressed against yours, barely curling, spreading warmth all throughout your body. “Careful,” he whispered and suddenly you realized he was way closer to you than you imagined, his breath fanning against your ears. You turned your head to look at him, for a while he didn't move his hand, and you didn't make any effort to pull away either. “It's okay, let's get done with this quickly, it's getting too dark,” you mumbled hastily as you removed your hand, breaking the moment completely.
*******
‘All the best, Pancake.’ Your voice lingered in his mind as he waited for Ella to show up. He looked at the time, nervously checking his reflection in the mirror. He wasn't sure why he was feeling so uneasy because movie nights were common between them. He received the takeout when Ella informed him that she'll be leaving for his house and it arrived just in time. He put the takeout on the kitchen counter when his doorbell rang and opened the door.
“Hi,” Ella smiled, shrugging off her coat as Heeseung closed the door behind her. They made their way inside the living room, pillows and blankets kept neatly on the couch for maximum comfort. “So?” Ella mumbled as she made herself comfortable on the couch, “no one else is coming?” Heeseung shook his head, still standing near the living room entrance, “nope. Jake is busy today, Jay is with Mia, and Sunghoon had a dinner planned with Reene’s family.”
Ella nodded, looking around his living room, “guess it's just the two of us then.” He nodded. “Just us, wait here, I'll bring drinks and food from the kitchen,” he called out as he disappeared inside the kitchen. Ella hummed, though she knew he couldn't hear it when a particular song started playing. She sat still against the couch, clutching the blanket tighter before reaching towards his phone to change the song. Heeseung came back with his hands full of takeout boxes he ordered earlier. “Hee? Wow, these are all my favorites!” Heeseung smiled at her as he settled on the couch, sitting not too close but not far either. Another soft song played from Heeseung's speakers as he pushed some food towards her.
“You really went all out huh?” Ella teased, opening her chopsticks, “a playlist playing in the background, with my favorite food on the table, soft blankets and cozy vibes. Since when did you start making such efforts?” Heeseung shrugged, taking a bite from his plate to hide the grin on his face, “you would've gotten this special treatment long ago if you hadn't moved to London, but since now you're here, I just want to make it worth the while.” Ella chuckled, “don't make me so important, I'm here for a short while.”
Heeseung hummed, “that doesn't mean you aren't worth the effort.” Ella paused, chopsticks hovering mid air as she looked at Heeseung who just smiled at her as he spoke, “it's good to have you back.” For a moment, her eyes softened but then she looked at her own plate, twirling her noodles, “it's good to be here, even if it's for a little while.” Heeseung frowned, tilting his head, “you keep mentioning about going back while I'm trying to live in the present El.” She looked at him, her chest tightening, “I'm just stating the obvious, Hee.”
After finishing the food, Ella threw the empty boxes in the trash bin while Heeseung put on a movie. Both of them settled back on the couch, the silence between them filled by the sound of the movie. Heeseung glanced at her from time to time as she shifted in her place. Heeseung wondered what was going on inside her head because he knew, in the past, she would've leaned her head on his shoulder by that point. Like it was her second nature, but this time, she just leaned against the armrest, unconsciously leaning a bit away instead.
He cleared his throat, trying to avoid the way her simple action had stung, “so you remember Ms. Bae? The one who made us all redo our assignments because she wanted the whole class to use only one standard font?” Ella groaned, internally thankful with the shift of conversation, “don't remind me, she made me redo that again because my font size wasn't ideal either. I still get nightmares from that.” Heeseung chuckled, remembering the incident very well and how she had cried in his arms for 10 minutes straight, “she hated everyone, though I think she hated you a bit more but I think it's only because your assignment was top tier.”
Ella shook her head, pulling her knees up her chest, “maybe yes. She always yelled at me ‘to stick to school's syllabus only and not to do extra research to appear smart and seek attention’ like why would I even do that?” Heeseung hummed, looking towards the screen, “she was jealous of how smart you were, nothing else.” She nodded, paying attention towards the movie again when Heeseung spoke again, “well if it makes you feel any better, she was kicked out of the school a few years ago because a student filed a complaint against her for mental harassment. She is unemployed till now.”
“Oh my god, are you serious?” Ella turned towards him, a wide excited smile etching up on her lips. Heeseung thought her smile looked brighter this time, almost the way he remembered. Heeseung wouldn't say it out loud, but he noticed. He always noticed things. He noticed the way she didn't initiate hugs anymore, how she changed the song which she declared was their song as soon as it played from his playlist, and how she didn't lean against him anymore.
Heeseung tried his best to not let his feelings overwhelm him. He cracked jokes, laughed at stupid things the movie characters did, and rolled his eyes when Ella cracked a terrible joke. He knew something had changed, but he couldn't bring himself to ask her that. But despite her guarded self, as he watched her concentrate on the movie, soft, calm, and kind, the person who he had declared as his favorite in his middle school, he knew he still wanted to try.
*******
Heeseung was walking towards his car when he spotted you standing a few feet away, in front of a mini garden. His legs led him towards you without a second thought, “why are you squinting at those poor plants like that?” You flinched, placing a hand on your chest. You were still wearing your lab coat, and the purple colored gloves, “I'm not squinting at them, the lab assistant told me our campus has the plant that I need for our mini project. I'm just trying to find it.” Heeseung nodded solemnly, leaning his weight on his other leg, “is it necessary to find it today? It's almost evening now.”
You shrugged, placing your hand inside your pockets as you looked at the plants, “evening yeah, but the experiments never stop. I don't remember the last time I went home early.” Heeseung looked at you as you tried to blow the hair off your face, “that isn't healthy.” You turned to look at him, “I know, but the protocols for these procedures are tedious and it requires precision. If I'm even an hour late, I'll get a completely different result than the desired one.” He nodded before reaching out to tuck your hair behind your ear, you looked at him, eyes wide while he stepped back, casually, “it was bugging me so I fixed it.”
You cleared your throat, trying to avoid his gaze when your eyes fell upon the very plant you were trying to find, “oh there it is!” You grinned, reaching out and carefully cutting a small portion for your experiment. “See,” you excitedly waved it in front of him and he laughed, “this is the best thing that has happened to me today!” An amused chuckle left his lips as he watched you examine the plant, “seriously? Finding a plant?” You rolled your eyes, but your smile didn't flatter, “it's not just any plant! It's THE plant.”
“Sure thing,” he shook his head. You placed a candy in his hand before placing the plant inside a zip lock, “by the way how was your date with Ella?” Heeseung's smile flattered a bit but then he shrugged, “everything went fine but nothing special.” You hummed, “it will take some time, don't give up.” Heeseung adjusted his bag on his shoulder, “I won't give up.” You smiled at his words, looking at the zip lock, “I'll get going now, see you tomorrow!” Heeseung waved as you ran towards your building, his eyes then falling on to the candy in his hand, he scoffed softly before keeping it inside his pocket.
*******
The bell above the door chimed softly as Ella pushed it opened. The familiar scent of roasted coffee beans lingering in the air. Heeseung stood a step behind as Ella took in her surroundings, a little cafe tucked between two shops, one that had board games and books, the one she used to visit frequently with Heeseung. Her lips curled in excitement, “wow I forgot this place existed. Do you still come here?” Heeseung shoved his hands inside his pockets as he looked at her, “sometimes.”
Ella moved first, making herself comfortable on the table near the window. Heeseung's steps halted, eyes falling over the table at the far back corner of the cafe, their table, then towards the table Ella was sitting at. He made his way towards her and Ella smiled, looking around the cafe. Behind the counter, stood the cafe owner's daughter, now older, whose eyes widened in recognition. Ella gave her a small wave when she approached and Heeseung ordered two coffees.
They sat silently waiting for the owner's daughter to bring the order. Ella smiled at her, politely thanking as she took a sip of her coffee. Heeseung's eyes fell on the table again, “do you remember how we used to sit at that back table and play games?” Ella followed his gaze and for a moment, Heeseung could feel her eyes soften. She gave him a small smile, her voice light as he spoke , “I do, but I don't play games now.” Heeseung nodded, sipping his own coffee, “hmm, we were kids back then.”
Ella hummed in acknowledgement, “I remember you used to get so mad whenever I beat you and claim I cheated.” Heeseung rolled his eyes, leaning against the chair, “it's because you used to cheat.” She chuckled, shaking her head, but then her smile flattered when her phone buzzed. She unlocked it before typing something back, a small smile etched upon her face before she put the phone face down on the table. Heeseung sighed as he tore his eyes away from her phone and his eyes fell back on the back table.
He expected Ella to choose that table to sit, the table that had been sacred once, a safe space where they whispered secrets, discussed their futures plans, played games and shared inside jokes like nothing could get better than that. He gulped at the thought, his chest burning with quiet longing. “It's so strange, we used to wait for the table to get clear because you always insisted on sitting on the back table only,” Ella looked up to find him still gazing at the table. “Right, I was so stubborn as a kid, thank god I'm not like that anymore.”
Heeseung laughed, tearing his eyes off the table and looking into her eyes, “I guess yeah.” He took a slow sip of his coffee, the bitterness shifting his attention from his emotions for a bit. He let the silence stretch longer this time, his mind drifting back to how you had told him yesterday about her day off, how you suggested he take Ella to this cafe when he casually mentioned about visiting it frequently as a kid with her. A place that once belonged to him and Ella which now felt more like a distant memory he was trying to rewind.
*******
“I'm done for today, I'll meet you tomorrow!” You informed Ella as you packed your bag hurriedly. She chuckled, placing her elbow on her seat, “why are you in a hurry? Got places to be?” You chuckled with her, sliding the bag on your shoulder, your coat in your hand, “yeah! I need to meet a friend.” She nodded before gathering her own things, both of you exited the class, and she watched you run off before making her way towards the laboratory to continue with her experiment.
You looked at the clock on the wall before you hurried down the main staircase. You rushed past through the cluster of students, a few gave you a pointed look but they stepped aside as you pushed through. When you reached the entrance of the parking lot, you caught the sight of Heeseung's car pulling out of its spot. You placed yourself right in the middle, one hand on your hip while you raised the other and waved. Heeseung's headlight flashed over you before he braked, the car coming to a halt.
You exhaled in relief, a breathless grin tugging at your lips as you reached for the passenger's side of his car and motioned him to unlock the door. He gave you a pointed look before unlocking the car and you slid into the seat, placing your bag and coat on the backseat. “Were you planning on throwing yourself in front of my car?” Heeseung questioned as you put on your seatbelt. You shrugged, “if that's what it takes to get a ride, then maybe yeah.” Another car honked from behind and Heeseung rolled his eyes before pulling out of the campus.
“Your apartment is literally walking distance away, why do you need a ride?” Heeseung questioned and you shook your head, “who said I'm going to my apartment?” He looked at you briefly, a confused look plastered on his face, “you don't want to go home?” You sighed, “no, we are going to your apartment to plan for the next date.” Heeseung tilted his head but took a turn that led towards his apartment anyway. “Plan for the date? You didn't even ask me if I'm free today,” he mumbled as he drove.
“Well, are you free?” You questioned in a flat tone, looking out of the window. You heard him sigh, “yeah I am free.” You chuckled lightly, unlocking your phone to check some messages. “Are you laughing at me? I do have plans most of the time okay? It just happened to be a coincidence that I'm free today,” he defended. You looked at him, “sure Heeseung.” His lips formed a pout before he glared at you, “meanie.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I bumped into Mia and she informed me that there's no group hangout today so I figured you might be free,” you clarified as both of you reached his apartment. “You made me feel like a loner for a second,” he exclaimed as he put his hand on his chest. You rolled your eyes as he unlocked his door, “you? A loner? You literally have six different people who can hang out with you.” He frowned as you hung your coat, “six? Who did you leave out? Ella?”
You turned to face him, and gave him a deadpan look, “why are you excluding Ella? You have Jake, Jay, Sunghoon, Ella, Reene and Mia to hangout with Mr. Pancake. I'm not leaving anybody out.” Heeseung watched you place your bag at the foot of the couch before sitting down, “you.” Confused, you tilted your head at him, “me?” He nodded, sitting on the other side, “you are leaving yourself out. It's seven with you.”
You squinted your eyes at him, “I'm your friend? Didn't you approach me because you wanted to get together with my friend?” His eyes widened, “now that sounds very bad for my image if you put it like that.” You shrugged, “what image exactly? The image of you falling on your ass?” He pulled his hair, a groan leaving his throat, “you aren't going to let it go right?” You crossed your arms across your chest, “do I look like Elsa to you?” He pursed his lips, “that was a terrible joke.” You kicked his leg lightly, “wasn't joking.”
He leaned against the armrest, sighing, “whatever you say. And while I did approach you with an intention to get help, I thought we were good enough to be friends now, you know? You don't think of me as your friend?” You looked down, trying to hide the smile on your face before you looked at him, “friends? I don't know, are we friends? You don't even know anything about me.” He sat up straight, hands on his legs, giving you a very serious look, “well if that's the case, you don't know anything about me too.”
“Who said I don't? I know more about you than you know about me!” You said, giving him the same look. He thought for a minute, “well yeah, I guess you know more about me.” You just looked at him, blinking and he slumped against the couch, “okay, how about we get to know each other better then?” You sighed, “you don't look very excited to get to know me though.” He stood up in one swift motion, making his way towards you and crouched down on the floor beside you, resting his hands on his knees, “your highness, I am indeed very curious about you, would you like to give me a tiny glimpse of your life so that I can be eligible to be your friend?”
You rolled your eyes, shifting your body on the couch so that you are facing him, “now it sounds like I'm holding you at gunpoint to be my friend.” Heeseung sighed heavily, now shifting to sit cross legged on the floor, “woman, stop playing with me.” You shrugged, playing with the hem of your top, “I'm not playing with you.” He gave you a deadpan look before getting up and disappearing into the kitchen. When he came back, he was carrying a glass of juice, which he offered you. Thanking him, you made yourself comfortable on the couch as you scrolled through your phone.
“Pancake,” you murmured casually and to your surprise he just hummed. Your eyebrows furrowed and you peered through your lashes to find him scrolling through his own phone. You sighed, “well, I just wanted to tell you that there's a fair in the city and Ella was talking about going there, how about you take her there?” He looked at you, “city fair?” You narrowed your voice to his shaky voice, “why? You don't wanna go? I mean Ella has been talking about it ever since our classmates told her about it. I think she would love to go there.”
Heeseung looked at you for a while before he nodded, eyes falling back on his phone. You frowned, observing body language. Usually he would be excited for the dates but he seemed more reluctant but since he didn't outright reject the idea you didn't think much of it. “I think I'll go home now,” you informed him as you checked your phone. “Already?” He questioned but got up to grab his things. The drive to your apartment was silent, his playlist softly playing in the background as you hummed along it. Heeseung glanced at you, a small smile plastered on his face as he entered your neighborhood.
“Heeseung, look it's Ella,” you exclaimed as you leaned towards the car's window. Heeseung slowed down his car a bit, his eyes falling over Ella who was talking on the phone in her balcony. Her expressions were relaxed as she kept excitedly talking, one of her hands flailing in the air just how it does when she's super happy. “Nah, she's talking with someone and is busy right now, and she looks quite happy talking with the person, maybe some other time?” You turned to look at Heeseung before your eyes fell back on Ella, who was so invested in talking that she didn't even notice Heeseung's car.
You sighed, slumping against the passenger's seat as Heeseung sped up a bit, parking his car when your apartment building arrived. “Are you planning on going to see her now?” You questioned as you gathered your things, without looking at him. “What?” He asked, checking his reflection in the mirror. You took off your seatbelt and turned towards him, “Ella, you're going to see her now?” He frowned, turning to look at you, “I said she seemed busy, didn't I?”
“Yeah, but I thought you'd go to her after dropping me off,” you shrugged as you got out of the car. He followed suit, locking the door behind him as he approached you, taking your bag from your hand, “she'll explode on me if I keep on showing up everywhere.” You watched as he casually draped your bag on his shoulder. “Okay, sure. Why are you not in your car?” He narrowed his eyes at you, stepping closer, “because.” You raised your eyebrows as he started walking, “because?”
“Hmm, just because.” You followed his steps, walking side by side now when he spoke, “is there any convenience store nearby? I'm craving some ramyeon.” You hummed, giving him the benefit of the doubt. “Why are you always inside your lab though? Like I know Ella stays there for long too, but she stays late for maybe three days a week? You're always inside that damn lab,” he asked as both of you walked towards the store. You sighed, “yeah it depends on the subject we chose to have our projects on.”
“So you chose a harder subject?” He questioned as he reached out and gently tugged your wrist to pull you to the inside of the sidewalk. “Huh?” You wondered absentmindedly, the warmth of his hand still lingering lightly on your wrist even after he left it. You cleared your throat, “uh, not really. It isn't necessarily hard but requires more time and effort as compared to other subjects of biotech.” He hummed, walking down the aisle of the store to grab two cups of ramyeon.
You waited by the table placed at a corner of the store as Heeseung paid and prepared the instant ramyeon. You smiled, mumbling a quiet thank you as he offered you one up as he settled on the chair in front of you. “So,” he started, letting the ramyeon cool for a bit, “you were working with some plant the last time I saw you, how's that going? Is that the project you are working on?” Your eyes widened in surprise that he remembered, “no, the plant thing was for the experiments we all had to conduct as a part of the syllabus. That's not the project I'm working on.”
He nodded, blowing off the steam and taking a bite, “what project are you working on then?” You exhaled, putting your chopsticks down, “well, aside from the mandatory experiments, the professors also conduct in house projects in collaboration with various companies, hospitals or laboratories. So the project I'm working on is in collaboration with CarePoint Hospital for early detection of oral cancer.” He raised his eyebrows, “oral cancer diagnosis? How exactly are you planning to achieve that?”
Heeseung watched the way your back straightened as soon as the question left his mouth, the way you leaned your elbows against the table and the way your eyes gleamed. You exhaled, “I'll try to break it down for you in an easier and quicker way.” He nodded, sliding the cups of ramyeon to the side. You smiled at him, “so there's this acidic sugar in our body called sialic acid, it helps with cell to cell recognition, immune response and invasiveness. Studies have shown that during oral cancer, the concentration of sialic acid increases in the saliva.”
“Oh so you are planning on using sialic acid to detect oral cancer?” He asked and you nodded, “Concentration of sialic acid is very high during early stages of oral cancer, so if we are successful, we can detect oral cancer early and prevent it from spreading further. For that I'm trying to build a standard protocol which is quick and easy to handle.” He leaned back against the chair, “wow, that doesn't sound easy.” You nodded, pouting a bit, “it isn't easy, I can't frequently ask for a patient's sample so I use animal cell culture techniques to cultivate cancerous cells in the laboratory and experiment on it first and then occasionally work on the patient's sample.”
“Why did you choose this topic though?” He questioned, and you relaxed a bit, eyes wandering out of the store. “My grandpa was diagnosed with oral cancer and we didn't learn about that till it was too late. Although it was taken care of, it still impacted him very deeply and lowered his standard of living,” you sighed. You turned your head back towards him, “I witnessed it all and I subconsciously decided I wanted to do something about it so I started researching and I found out about projects conducted by CarePoint Hospital and here I am I guess.”
Heeseung's hands slid across the table, his fingers brushing lightly over your knuckles before he gave your hand a gentle squeeze, “you're doing amazing.” You smiled, eyes falling over the way his hand swallowed yours before you pulled back, “I know right? I'm cool like that.” He rolled his eyes, grabbing the cups and throwing them in the trashbin before you both got out of the store.
The two of you slowly walked back towards your apartment. He still insisted on carrying your bag, which was slung over his shoulder as he talked about his recent shows with Hyphenix. You listened with great concentration, eyes frequently falling over the way his eyes lit up as he talked about his friends and rehearsals. You knew he was a good singer, you had listened to him sing countless times before but there was something about his voice when he talked that felt like a siren call and you were just a poor human hypnotized by him.
“Are you listening to me?” Heeseung snapped his hands before your eyes, snapping you out of the trance. You flinched, stuttering over your words, “umm, nothing I was just thinking.” He tilted his head, a lazily smirk etching up on his face, “about what?” You cleared your throat, “my…..um my project! Yes, project!” He chuckled lightly, “if you say so.” You could feel your face heat up and you were about to retort back to him when your foot caught the uneven edge of the pavement.
Your balance tilted but Heeseung caught you just in time, hands wrapping steadily around your elbow and lower back. Your heartbeat quickened as you held onto his jacket before straightening up. “Are you alright?” He questioned, eyes round with concern as he looked at you. “Yes,” you nodded. He stepped closer, close enough that you had to tilt your head up to look at him. He reached up, knuckles brushing against your cheek as he tucked your hair behind your ear. “It was bugging me a little,” he whispered after fixing your hair and stepping back. You felt your face heat up as you looked around to avoid his gaze.
“Um, I think you should go,” you exclaimed, snatching your bag from his hand. “It's getting too late,” you smiled as you pointed your finger towards his car. He just looked at you, weight leaning on one leg while a lazy smirk adorned his face. You pushed him towards his car, and you were thankful he didn't resist much, “you have to plan a DATE with ELLA, you need to ask her out for your DATE first. I'm pretty sure you need to do a lot of preparation for it. All the best and good night.” You stopped when he finally reached his car then waved frantically, he just chuckled, shaking his head as he slid into his car, “goodnight to you too.”
*******
You were focused on your notes, writing down important points to remember before your next class when you heard Ella call your name. You looked around to find her waving from the door, “come here for a second please?” A few students glanced in your direction as you closed your books and made your way out of the class. Ella stood just outside the classroom, a smile plastered over her face as she held your hand to drag you out faster. Your steps slowed down when you spotted Heeseung standing near, looking at you, or Ella.
Ella leaned closer, both of her hands holding yours, “so, Heeseung just asked me if I'd go to the city fair with him.” You raised your eyebrows in mock surprise, a smile adorning your face, “oh did he? You were talking about going there nonstop, you should go!” She grinned, “I am going.” Her eyes then found Heeseung's before falling back on you, “and you're coming with us.” You panicked as soon as those words left her mouth and you felt your heart skip a beat, “no, I can't come, what will I do there? I don't want to intrude.”
“You're not intruding,” she dismissed, dragging you towards Heeseung, “it will be more fun if she'll come with us, right Hee?” She asked, looking towards him. You shook your head before he could speak, “no Ella, I am saying this seriously, you two should go.” Ella's smile flattered, “why are you saying no? I would love to go there with both of you, I don't know when I'll even get a chance to do that again.” Your heart stuttered at her dejected tone. “You're coming with us,” Heeseung's voice broke through the air and you narrowed your eyes at him but he was looking at Ella.
Her smile lit up at Heeseung's words and she turned towards you, “see? Even Heeseung is saying so please don't say no.” You looked at both of them once before sighing, “okay, I'll come. But it's mostly because you aren't taking no for an answer.” Her grin softened into something warmer, she squeezed your arm, “thank you, I just want to spend more time with you before I go back to London, so please let me be obnoxious about it.” She then looked at Heeseung, “she's in.” Heeseung's eyes finally brushed past Ella's and met yours for the first time since Ella dragged you out of the class.
He tilted his head, a small smile gracing upon his lips, “alright then.” Ella bid him goodbye as she spotted the professor making his way towards the classroom, urging you to follow her. You followed her before turning back to look at Heeseung who was still standing on the same spot. You stepped back towards him, pulling him a bit down by the sleeve of his hoodie, “don't worry, I'll make an excuse and leave the fair early so you'll get some alone time with her okay? I couldn't say no to her on the spot.”
You didn't wait for his answer and ran inside the class without looking back while Heeseung stood still in the hallway, his eyes lingering on you for a second longer than necessary. He straightened up, clearing his throat as he looked around the now empty hallway before making his way towards his own class. His mind swirling with different thoughts about Ella and you.
*******
The weekend arrived more quickly than you imagined and you found yourself knocking on Ella's door. The late afternoon sun casted a warm glow over the city. You waited patiently for Ella to answer. As soon as the door opened, you found Ella clutching the doorframe with one hand while her other hand was draped over her stomach, a pinched expression plastered on her face. You frowned, “are you okay?” She tried to smile but ended up wincing instead, “not really. My period came early, and it's hurting way more than it should've. I don't think I can make it tonight.”
“What? Why didn't you tell me then? I would've dropped by with some snacks,” you murmured while removing her hair from her face. She shook her head, “it literally came just half an hour ago.” You sighed, massaging your head, “so you are cancelling.” She nodded about to say something when her eyes darted over your shoulder and you heard footsteps approaching you, “I was about to speak of the devil.” You heard her mumble and turned around to follow her gaze as Heeseung's eyes narrowed as he noticed Ella's appearance.
“What happened? Why aren't you ready?” Concern flickered over his face as he stopped right beside you. “About that,” Ella sighed as she looked at him, “change of plans, I can't go. I got my periods and it's bad.” Heeseung frowned, “do you need any help with that?” She shook her head no, “I'll be fine, I just need some rest but since both of you are here, how about you two just go without me?” Your eyes widened, “Ella.” She stepped back inside the apartment, “have fun guys, and don't forget to send me pictures. Don't cancel just because I did, please.”
The door slammed shut after she said that and you were left standing in the hallway with Heeseung with your mouth half opened because she didn't give you any time to respond. You both stared at the closed door before you shifted your weight, eyes hesitantly drifting towards Heeseung, “I know this is very disappointing, but we don't have to go, we can cancel it.” He exhaled softly before turning to look at you, “she is right, we are already dressed up so might as well make the best of it.”
You thought for a while and he didn't rush you. So you swallowed, nodding. “We can go then,” you gave him a small smile. His shoulders relaxed a bit, and he nodded his head in the direction of his car, “alright then, let's go?” You nodded as you fell into steps beside him, your heart beating abnormally faster than it regularly did. He opened his car door for you and you slid inside. He started the car, filling the silence between you with music as he drove towards the city fair.
You remove your seatbelt after Heeseung parked the car and he opened the car's door for you to get out. You thanked him before both of you started walking. The walk towards the fair felt longer than it should have and you sighed, “this wasn't supposed to end like this.” You heard him hum, hands deep inside his pocket as he walked beside you, “you're right, but I don't think Ella was the only one who was excited for this.” You looked towards him in confusion and his lips twitched, “come on, let's just enjoy. I would like to believe you'll be a pleasant company to have.”
“That depends,” he rolled his eyes as you teased, “are you a pleasant company to have?” The awkwardness in between you dulls down when you step inside. The fair is just how you expected, loud. The air buzzed with people playing games, children's laughter and shrieks from people riding the rides. Till the time you are soaking up the sight Heeseung brought two tickets without asking. “Souvenir,” he chirped as he waved the ticket in front of your face.
You grabbed the ticket from his hand and he grabbed your arm and pulled you beneath a lantern. You eyed him as he took out his phone from his pockets, opening the camera. You smirked but positioned yourself beside him anyway, “is this another souvenir of yours?” You questioned and he shrugged. The first pic he clicked was awkward but he made a comment about how constipated you both looked that it pulled out a genuine laugh from you. In the next pic, both of you had genuine smiles plastered on your face with your tickets in your hand.
Both of you walked around the fair, playing stupid games just for the laughter. He even won a small deer keychain and hooked it on your bag like it was his second nature. Your chest tightened at the gesture and you brought a matching keychain from another shop and gifted him. “Should we go on a ride?” You wondered, eyes twinkling in excitement as you stood near the Rollercoaster ride. He looked at you, a bit hesitant, “you wanna go?”
You nodded excitedly. You moved a few steps ahead to get the tickets when you noticed Heeseung looking towards the ride and you softly called his name. He looked at you as you stepped towards him, “are you sure you want to go?” He narrowed his eyes at you but nodded, “of course, why wouldn't I be sure?” You tilted your head, doubt creeping in, “Heeseung, we don't have to go.” He walked over to the ticket counter, paying for two tickets. “I'm fine,” he insisted, already handing over the tickets.
You dragged him towards the middle section of the coaster, still a bit skeptical over his attitude. After making sure you were settled in your seats, the rider started the coaster. It jolted forward, a bit slow at first. You glanced at him instinctively, and noticed the way he gripped on the safety bar tightly, knuckles going white. “Heeseung,” you called out softly, one of your hands sliding to squeeze his wrist in reassurance.
He turned his head to look at you and before you could speak anything further, the ride reached its highest point, then came the drop, sudden and brutal. And that's when Heeseung's facade crumbled and he buried his head on your neck. One of his hands slid across your waist, gripping it tight like you were the only thing anchoring him. Your heart stuttered, more for him than the proximity. Without thinking, your hand reached up to thread your fingers in his hair and your other hand clutched his forearm.
“It's okay,” you whispered, “I've got you.” He didn't reply but you felt his grip only tightened after your words. The rest of the ride was a blur of sharp turns and people screaming around you, yet the only thing you were hyperaware of was his body pressed against yours, trembling lightly. The ride slowed down and finally stopped, and the chatter of the fair, and flashing lights returned. He pulled away, and you took in his appearance. Messy hair, ears flushed red.
You stepped out of the ride and offered him your hand, which he grabbed instantly without much protest. You guided him near a bench, your hand holding his until he settled on the seat. He sighed as he leaned forward, elbow resting on his knees like he was trying to ground himself. You crouched down to meet his eyes, “you're sweating.” He let out a shaky breath, “I didn't think it was that high.” You ignored his words and reached for your purse to pull out a tissue.
You gently dabbed the tissue against his forehead and cheeks, and you felt him stiffened under your touch. His eyes flickered over yours but he didn't pull away, he just sighed, unconsciously leaning into your hand. “Stay here,” you mumbled, voice lower than you meant to, “I'll grab some water for you.” Before he could say anything, you were walking away towards the nearest stall. When you were walking back towards him, you noticed two older ladies talking to him. You slowed down a bit.
“The rides can be scary,” one of them said with a warm smile, “but they get less scarier when you have someone by your side to take care of you.” The other lady nodded along, “you have such a caring girlfriend, hold onto her tight.” Your grip on the water bottle tightened. Heeseung blinked at them, his face contouring with confusion and lips parting as if to correct them but then he didn't. “Yeah,” you watched him nod instead, “she's the best, always so helpful.”
You swallowed before making your way towards him, handing him the water bottle. The two women smiled at each other before they looked at you. “The two of them are very sweet together,” one of them said and then they giggled as they moved along the crowd, leaving you alone with him. You sat beside him, and for a long time neither of you spoke. The fair was still alive, filled with chatter and occasional yelling of the vendors.
“Thanks,” Heeseung mumbled as he unscrew the cap and took a sip from the bottle. He then looked at you, “for the water, for everything else.” He kept the bottle in between you, still holding onto it, closer to your hand. You nodded, not trusting your voice. “Shall we go?” He asked quietly and you stood up, holding your palm up in front of him. He blinked up at you, “I think I can walk just fine.” He still held your hand as you walked back towards his car.
“Your keys,” you said as you both reached his car. “What?” He questioned. “Give me your keys, you can walk just fine but it will be safer if I drive,” you didn't say anything further, just held up your palm again and he sighed before handing you the keys. As you drove back towards his house, the silence between you wasn't because of awkwardness anymore. It was heavy with something else. You could still feel the warmth of his hand on your waist, the way his breath fanned against your neck and with the way he kept on glancing, you knew you weren't the only one thinking about it.
*******
“How the hell am I supposed to complete this assignment in one week? So ridiculous,” you grumbled as you researched your recent assignment. Your eyes ached and your hand trembled a bit as you kept on working, despite it getting late. You stopped for a while, placing your head on the desk when a knock startled you. Standing up, you made your way towards the door and opened it to find Heeseung pushing the door further, holding a takeout bag in his hand as he slipped off his jacket and shoes.
“What are you doing here?” You questioned as you took the bag from his hand and placed it on the counter. He shrugged, “you texted that you were drowning in your assignments so I brought a little life boat in the form of food and soda.” Your eyes widened in surprise as he sat on your couch, “you brought me food?” He nodded, “technically I brought us food but it looks like you need it more.” He reached for a can of soda and opened it, “also, you forget to eat when you're stressed so I thought this was a good idea.”
“Thanks,” you mumbled as you sat beside him, “you went on a date with Ella today right? How did it go?” His smile fainted a bit and he leaned back against the couch, sighing. “About that,” he started slowly, staring at the unopened sandwich in his hands, “it was fine I guess. I took her to the fair like we planned. She looked pretty, like always. She even laughed at my jokes this time, she wasn't as awkward with me as she was before.” You smiled, slowly taking a bite from your food, “that sounds good.”
He hummed, “yeah, because that was all. It was good, but it didn't feel good, at least not in the way it was meant to be. It felt more like two friends trying to catch up on old memories. Nothing more.” You sighed as you realized the weight of his situation, “maybe she just wants to take things slow? You said she isn't as awkward anymore.” He chuckled lightly, “she still means everything to me but-” he looked at you, pausing a bit before he groaned, throwing his head back.
“I don't know why I am telling you all this, I don't even know why my mind just decided to visit you first. Maybe it's because you're her best friend, maybe it's because you're the one who's actually listening.” You reached forward to squeeze his hand gently, “and it's okay. You can come to me anytime, I'm your friend after all now, am I not?” He looked at you, then you felt his palm turn up to slide his fingers in between yours. You swallowed hard, averting your gaze, “you should eat before your sandwich gets cold.”
“You should stop changing the subject,” he said with a slight smirk plastered on his face. You opened your mouth to say something but stopped when he moved closer. His free hand tucked your hair behind your ear before he leaned his head against your shoulder. You sighed, about to pull away when he spoke, his tone soft, “stay like this, just for a while, please.” Your heart skipped a beat but you found yourself adjusting your position so he wouldn't strain his neck while leaning on you.
*******
All of the boys were hanging out in Jake's house, huddled up on his bed and the couch as they talked about everything and nothing together. “So,” Jay started, eyes darting over the room before they stopped at Heeseung, “are you going to update us about your dates anymore or not?” Then before he could answer, Sunghoon chimed in, “the last we heard from you was about how you both had gone to that cafe in your old neighborhood, after that? Radio silence.”
“Right,” Jake agreed, nudging Heeseung's shoulder as he was sitting right beside him, “you took Ella to the city fair right? How did that go?” Heeseung rolled his eyes but straightened up, “it was okay, we ate popcorn, played some games, enjoyed a few rides, it was good.” The other three just looked at him as he began scrolling his phone again without explaining further. “That's it? Good?” Jay questioned with a frown on his face. Heeseung nodded, “it felt more like a friend's hangout than a date.”
“She'll be leaving soon,” Sunghoon mumbled carefully, “I feel like it would be better if you confess to her directly.” Jake nodded, deciding to not me a menace for once, “what if she isn't realizing you are trying to make a move on her and thinks you are doing all that as a good friend?” Heeseung sighed, slumping against his seat, “I want to do it perfectly, and it's frustrating that things have been so slow between us. I do feel her being more open and relaxed around me now, she doesn't question us hanging out alone anymore, but it doesn't feel like there's something romantic going on, it doesn't feel like it used to before!”
“Are you in love with Ella or just her past version, Heeseung?” Jay's question hung in the air. Heeseung gulped, “of course I love all of her, past or present I don't care. That's the main reason I'm still trying, but she doesn't let me in.” Sunghoon sighed as he patted him on the back, “take it easy, you still have some time left. We'll be starting our end semester exams soon, then you'll have exactly 2 weeks before Ella leaves for London again.” Heeseung buried his head in his palm, “I didn't imagine things would turn out this way, should I directly confess to her about my feelings after the exams?”
“Yeah, that sounds perfect,” Jake said, a grin spreading across his face as Jay and Sunghoon both nodded in agreement. Heeseung leaned back, “after exams, we could have a small celebratory holiday retreat at my vacation home,” he suggested, “Ella loves that place, we've made a lot of memories there. It feels like the perfect time to confess.” Jay tilted his head, studying him for a moment before giving a short nod. “That could work,” he said, “it’d also be like a farewell with Ella, you know? Especially since we don’t really know when she’ll be back again.” The boys nodded, patting at Heeseung's back in reassurance.
*******
You shut your locker close, nudging Ella against her shoulder as both of you stepped out of the main building. You let out a deep exhale, the weight of the semester's exam lifting off of your shoulders. You watched as Ella stretched her wrist after letting out a soft groan. “This is it,” she exclaimed, “we're finally done with exams.” You chuckled, eyes heavy with exhaustion, “yeah, until results at least.” The two of you fell into steps together, passing through students crowded in the hallway buzzing with post-exam chatter.
As you walked towards the main entrance you saw two familiar figures standing near the staircase. Heeseung, who was leaning against the railings, hands tucked inside his pockets as he talked with Jake, who was standing in front of him. As you walked down the staircase, Heeseung lifted his head, eyes locking with yours before they trailed towards Ella, “there you are.” Ella smiled, leaning her elbow on his shoulder as she grinned, “what are you two doing here? Trying to ambush us?”
“More like trying to add a little fun in your life,” Jake chimed in, stepping beside you, “this was your last exam right?” You nodded, shoulders slumping with the heavy sigh you let out, “finally.” You heard Heeseung hum, his tone soft, “that's good to hear.” His gaze flickered over Ella before they landed on you, a small smile adorning his face, “we were planning a little something to celebrate the end of exams, felt like we all need to take a well deserved break you know?” Ella arched her eyebrows, “something like?”
Heeseung looked at Jake, running his hand through his hair, “something like, a holiday. At my family's vacation home, we used to visit there when we were kids, remember?” He tilted his head towards Ella who nodded in excitement, “I love that place.” Jake grinned, “yeah that one, just for a couple of days, nothing too big, just Hyphenix, Mia, Reene, and you two if you agree.” Your eyes widened, “you want me to come there too?” You questioned with genuine surprise. Heeseung's eyebrows furrowed, “of course, how is that even a question?”
You opened your mouth to say something when Jake cut you off, slumping his hand on your shoulders, “no questions, you are our friend too okay? You're stuck with us now, and there will be music, food, zero responsibilities, it will be fun.” You looked at Ella who just softly smiled at you, “come on, we need to go somewhere before I get back to London.” Her words made your chest tightened, you had grown attached to her during the past months and as the time of her departure neared, you felt more sad. “Okay, guess I'll go with you guys then,” you smiled.
Ella beamed, wrapping her arms around you, and effectively pushing Jake away. You laughed when you heard Jake grumble and Heeseung shaking his head in amusement. Ella pulled away before going towards Jake to console him. “Don't think that we are being nice because you are Ella's friend okay? Mia and Reene were really excited and kept on pestering me to tell you soon about the trip but I knew you both had exams so I waited,” Heeseung said as both of you started walking behind Jake and Ella. “Thanks for inviting,” you mumbled and he shrugged, “I guess you're a part of the team now.”
*******
You wait for the door of Heeseung's apartment to open, your bag slung over your shoulder. Heeseung opened the door with a smile on his face, wordlessly grabbing your bag as he urged you inside. You figured the whole group was present, excitement buzzing throughout the apartment, voices overlapping. Heeseung's tall frame hovered beside you, placing your bag along with many others. He had ditched his usual hoodies for a simple white tee and denim jeans.
“You finally came,” he smirked, sliding his hand across your shoulders. You could smell his detergent along with the faint scent of oakwood and saffron, “I was starting to think you had ditched us when you didn't show up with Ella.” You rolled your eyes, “I had some things to do, also even if I ditched, you'd probably beg me to come back.” Your eyes met with Jake's as he laughed, crouching down to keep his perfume inside his bag. He zipped up his bag and approached you, “you're right, he can't function well without your help you know?”
“Is that so?” You questioned as you looked at Heeseung who just rolled his eyes at Jake. “That's not true,” Heeseung grumbled, and then others started piling towards the entrance. “Hey! You're here,” Mia squealed as she ran up to hug you. Reene smiled, giving you a light hug as she whispered, “she kept complaining about your absence nonstop by the way.” You laughed, mumbling apologise. “Guys, has anyone brought snacks?” Jay questioned as he looked around.
“I got it covered,” Reene explained as she brought two different bags filled with all sorts of snacks. Sunghoon smiled, placing a kiss on her forehead, “yeah, she insisted on buying half of the grocery store.” Reene nudged him by her elbow, “right, and you'll thank me later for that.” Jay walked towards Mia, placing a hand on her waist, “you got everything you need, butterfly?” He asked and she nodded, melting into his arms.
Ella walked towards your other side as Heeseung demanded everyone's attention. “So we are going to take two cars, Sunghoon's and mine,” he paused, taking a look at everyone, “Jay, Mia and Reene will go with Sunghoon and the rest are going with me. Is that clear?” Everyone nodded before collecting their luggage towards the car. You stood behind as you watched Jay, Mia and Reene settle inside Sunghoon's car, you felt a tug at your bag and you glanced at Heeseung as he carefully took the bag from your shoulder to put it inside the trunk.
“Ready?” He asked, nodding his head towards the car. You nodded, as he opened the car door and you slid in the backseat behind the passenger's seat. You and Heeseung were already seated while Ella and Jake talked with Sunghoon regarding the snacks. The door of the backseat opened again and Jake slid inside hurriedly, fastening his seatbelt quickly. Ella looked inside the car before reluctantly sitting on the passenger's seat.
“I was supposed to sit at the back with her,” she complained as she glared at Jake, “why are you even sitting there? Shouldn't you be her?” She motioned towards the passenger's seat she was sitting at. Jake just shrugged, “I get sleepy quickly, that won't be good for Heeseung since he's driving right?” He reasoned as he looked at you for help. You immediately got the gist of what he was trying to do so awkwardly nodded, “yeah, maybe we can get to know each other better in the meantime.” Jake beamed, hooking his arm with yours, “see? She understands, now don't complain, you can have her as soon as we reach there.”
Ella gave him a last glare before she turned back and settled in her seat. Your eyes were focused on Heeseung before Jake nudged your shoulder, distracting you with his endless stories about their previous trips as the car started moving. Heeseung glanced at Ella, talking with her from time to time. He adjusted the rear view mirror when he noticed it had tilted a bit, eyes narrowing at the way Jake's arm was still hooked around yours as you listened to him ramble. He huffed, hands pressing on the screen to play some music to dull Jake's voice a bit so he wouldn't pay more attention to you both instead of the road ahead.
Halfway through the drive, Jay called Jake to have suggested a short break before switching the designated driver. You stepped out, stretching your arms before you and Ella walked towards Mia and Reene. The girls immediately welcomed you with warm smiles as they dragged you both towards a small shop full of snacks and drinks. You were walking through the drinks aisle with Reene as she talked about her recent activities. Then she turned towards you, “Heeseung told me about your project with CarePoint Hospital.”
“Heeseung talked to you about me?” You questioned back with a confused tilt of your head. She laughed softly, nodding her head, “he talks a lot about you actually, tells you how you're helping him without asking for anything in return and always keeps on going on and on about how passionate you are about your major.” You smiled, “I didn't expect that.” She nodded, picking out a few drinks, “it can be like that.”
You hummed and Reene nudged you playfully, “I only mentioned that because my family doctor's on the hospital board. Since you are so genuinely interested in their research, I could put in a word for you. When your project wraps up and you graduate, it might open the door for you to join their team officially.” Your steps halted, genuinely surprised and in disbelief at what you just heard. Reene made a confused noise when she didn't find you beside her and turned around only to find you frozen in your spot.
“Are you serious?” You questioned, heart beating loudly. She nodded, “I wouldn't have said anything if I wasn't.” You gulped, genuinely touched by her words, “why though?” She frowned, taking a few steps towards you, “why? Because from what I've heard about you from Heeseung, you are doing this for a good cause, and I want to help you as a friend too.” Friend, that word again. You don't remember anyone calling you their friend a semester ago and now you had people being kind to you just because.
You stepped closer, pulling her in an embrace with shaky fingers as a tear slipped past your eyes, you whispered, “thank you so much.” She stiffened at the sudden display of affection but relaxed and hugged you back. “Don't get too emotional, I'm only doing this because I know you deserve it,” she squeezed your shoulder before pulling away. You wiped your tears, “I don't know if they'll accept me since I'll be lacking in experience, but if they do, I'll make sure you'll never hear them complaining about me.”
“Hello beautiful ladies,” you heard Jake's voice and turned around to find him approaching you both with his puppy-like smile. “What are you doing here?” Reene questioned as she chuckled. “I was out with Mia, Ella and Heeseung, but then Jay stole Mia away,” he started, hands rummaging through different snacks, “so I had this brilliant idea to leave Heeseung alone with Ella.” Reene shook her head as she looked at you. Jake handed you a few snacks after realizing you weren't holding anything, “also, I wanted to let you both know about something.”
You and Reene leaned towards him as he spoke, “Heeseung is planning on confessing to Ella during this vacation. Just thought you should know so we don't end up interrupting them if we spot them together.” Even though you knew this moment would arrive, your heart sank. Were you expecting to hear about this from Heeseung himself? But he didn't owe you an explanation for every single thing he did. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Reene steal a quick glance towards you, the kind that felt like she was half curious and half concerned. When you caught her eyes, she didn't say anything, and just offered you a small smile and looked away.
*******
Heeseung's vacation house screamed luxury, with lush green trees lining up which ultimately lead to an isolated private property. The holiday retreat felt more relaxing than you had initially thought. The whole house was alive in that soft, post exams bliss kind of way. The music was drifting from the living room speakers, sunlight spilling through the wooden deck outside. Everyone was scattered into different corners doing their own things. Mia and Jay were curled up together as they played some games on Jay's phone, Sunghoon and Reene were sitting on the deck outside with their drinks. Jake and Heeseung were playing ping-pong and Ella was on her phone at the corner.
You were leaning against the kitchen counter, leisurely sipping your drink when you spotted Heeseung making his way towards you, a little bit flushed, laughter spilling off his lips. He ran his hand through his slightly damp hair, his shirt clinging to his body. He raised his eyebrows at you as he stepped closer. He leaned down, placing his hands on the counter, caging your body between. You froze, and he chuckled softly before taking a sip from the straw, the cup still in your hand.
He pulled away, now taking the cup from your hand and took another large sip of the drink. You blinked, caught completely off guard, eyes trained on the way his throat moved with each sip. “Wow, this is actually good, I was seriously doubting Jake when he suggested we should try this,” he praised, trying to take another sip when you snatched it from his hand. “That was mine,” you complained, flicking his head. He winced, rubbing his forehead while laughing at your expressions.
“You literally drank more than half of it,” you pouted as you examined the cup. Heeseung shrugged, trying to take the drink back from your hand but you just quickly sipped the rest of the drink. Heeseung's laugh echoed throughout the house as you tried to fight him off and prevent him from taking another sip. It made Jay and Jake peek from their spot to see what was happening. Both of them watched as you managed to get a hold of Heeseung's hair, laughing at him while he tried to pry your hands off.
The corner of Jake's lips curled up, and he looked at Jay with a knowing look in his eyes, “I don't know if Heeseung has realized how comfortable he has gotten in her presence.” Jay hummed, shifting closer to his girlfriend as three of them settled against the couch, “or how he keeps talking more about her than Ella from the past few weeks.” Their eyes fell upon Ella who was now talking with Sunghoon and Reene, “Ella doesn't seem to mind Heeseung's absence as much as she used to in the past,” Jake murmured and Jay hummed, “let's see where this goes.”
*******
You looked at yourself in the mirror, fixing your hair. Beside you, Ella was already done slipping into her clothes. “After playing in the pool all day, my skin is a bit itchy,” she complained. You laughed, fixing her top, “but you had fun.” She hummed, placing her phone inside her pocket, “that's true, I don't think I had this much fun in a while.” You smiled, “let's get down for the barbecue?” She nodded as both of you stepped down towards the deck where everyone was gathered.
The sun had already slipped low, covering the sky in pink and amber hues. The air smelled like smoke and grilled meat, the faint hiss of barbecue still audible over the shared laughter. You greeted Sunghoon as you passed by him to sit on the empty chair at the far corner of the deck. Ella made her way towards Jay and Heeseung who were grilling meat. Jake and Mia were bickering over which song to play next as Reene just looked at you and shook her head as she tried to reason with the two to stop bickering.
The food was eaten, and memories were shared. But it all meshed into a blurry haze as your mind kept on drifting on whether Heeseung would make a move on Ella or not. It was the last night of the retreat and with the way Ella has been behaving the same, you were sure Heeseung hadn't confessed at all. Which made you anxious thinking he might confess to her tonight. The weather was lovely and so was the timing, yet you couldn't help the anxious beating of your heart against your chest.
“Are you going to find yourself a girlfriend Jake?” Ella grinned as she nudged him. Jake's eyes widened as he nearly choked on his drink. “No way!” He exclaimed, “Don't get me wrong, watching Jay and Sunghoon fall in love and find people that actually…complete them? I'll forever be envious of that.” You tilted your head at him, “I'm sensing a big ‘but’ in there.” He smiled at your words, though it didn't quite reach his eyes, “hmm, I just can't picture myself trusting someone on that level, you know? Haven't found anyone who would make me change my mind anyway.”
Reene raised an eyebrow, “so basically you have trust issues?” Jake flinched at her question, barely. It wasn't even noticeable to anyone but Heeseung, Jay and Sunghoon. Jake shrugged, “well maybe you can say that I have trust issues but can you blame me?” Reene chuckled, nodding in agreement, “I won't judge you for having trust issued though, the world is cruel.” Jake leaned back on his palm, “also, I think I love being a third wheel and teasing the shit out of my boys, I'm too good at that too.”
Jay and Sunghoon rolled their eyes as Jake smirked at them. And just like that, the topic of the conversation changed. As the time went by, you shifted in your seat, feeling uncomfortable around your waist area, like something was poking your skin. You got up, excusing yourself to get inside any spare room to check the issue. You closed the door behind you, taking off your shirt and examining the irritated area to find a few scratch marks on your waist. Frowning, you checked the top carefully to discover a small pin still attached to the cloth.
You threw it in the trash bin before checking for any other place where another pin might be. You wore the top after you had thoroughly checked the whole top for a second time. You returned back, adjusting your top since it kept on brushing against your sensitive skin as you moved. Heeseung was sitting on the backrest of the couch, eyes glued over you as he motioned you to come closer. “What happened?” He questioned as you glanced at the others who were chatting together. “Where's Ella?” You asked instead of answering. “She's in the kitchen, talking to someone,” he informed before looking at you with a frowned face, “what happened to you?”
You sighed, “it's nothing, I somehow forgot to take out this pin from my top. It kept on scratching the skin, so I took it off.” Before you could wave the topic off, Heeseung hooked his index finger on your belt-loop and pulled you closer. His fingers brushed against the edge of your top before he lifted the hem just enough to see the red scratches near your side. He gently brushed his thumb near the reddened skin, “hmm it doesn't look too bad, but you should be careful next time.”
He grabbed your waist to gently push you away so he could stand. Letting his hand fall to his side as he looked at you. Nodding, your lips parted to say something but no words came out. You looked back at him, eyes lingering on each other more than it should have.
And when both of you joined the rest of them to play games, and Ella returned after hanging up the call, none of the others said anything out loud. Glances were exchanged, quick but full of meaning, as if each of them were silently piecing together a story none of them were ready to voice yet.
*******
“Are you planning on going home?” Heeseung's voice broke through the phone's speaker. You made a sound of disapproval, “I am not, especially since Ella will be leaving in 2 weeks. I want to be there to send her off.” You grabbed a glass of water when you spoke, “did you confess to her yet?” You heard him sigh, “no, I called her out to meet me, but her mom called right when I was about to start confessing. She said her mom needed guidance over some documentation or something. I never went ahead with the plan.”
You frowned, “her mom called?” You sighed, taking a sip from the glass, “Jake had warned everyone to not interrupt you both in case anyone saw you both together.” He hummed, “yeah, I haven't heard the end of it, Jake keeps on nagging at me for being too slow.” You nodded, looking at your reflection on the refrigerator, “you know what?” You asked, “you don't need the confession to be loud, sometimes quietly accepting your feelings does wonders.” There was a silence for a while before you heard him, “what are you suggesting?”
You played with your nails as you whispered, “both of us need to go to university tomorrow to clean up our bacterial cultures that we have stored since the presentations are completed. You can take her out for a simple lunch or dinner after that.” You patiently waited for him to think over, eyes darting back against your reflection. “Okay,” you heard him exhale, “I can't really stretch this longer. I'll go there tomorrow.” You hummed, hanging up the call. Wondering since when your chest had started aching whenever Heeseung talked about Ella.
*******
The lab smelled faintly of ethanol and agar plates as you and Ella stacked up the last of the clean glassware. The hum of incubators running still buzzing throughout the lab as you both removed your gloves and discarded them in the trash bin before washing your hands again. You slipped your coat inside your bag, eyes darting towards the clock. Heeseung would arrive anytime now, you had to make your exit smooth. You zipped up your bag before making your way towards Ella.
She looked at you and smiled, draping her own bag over her shoulders, “I need to go back to my apartment as soon as I can.” You frowned at the new knowledge, following her towards the lab door, “why do you need to leave?” She turned towards you, “I need to pack my bags.” You hummed, “I know you need to pack but it can be done later right? Why hurry?” She shook her head with a tight smile, “umm, I will be leaving early for London.”
Your heart dropped, “what? Leaving early? Why?” She gulped, clearing her throat, “I'll be leaving in five days, I need to help my mother with the documents of our company since she wants to help in business.” You clenched your fingers into a fist to stop them from trembling, “that's too soon, when did you decide that?” She sighed, looking down, “our second night at the vacation home, everything has been booked already. I wanted to live here longer but I can't, my dad won't be back from Germany until next month.”
You bit your lips, blinking back your tears but before you could say anything else you saw Ella's eyes widened as she whispered, “Heeseung?” You turned around abruptly to find Heeseung standing near the doorframe, eyes locked on Ella. The knuckles of his hands had gone white from how tight he was clenching his fists, face unreadable but his eyes betrayed him, wide, hurt and surprised. You heard Ella call for him again but he stepped back as soon as she stepped forward and before any of you could say anything, he turned around, walking away.
You turned towards Ella who was still shocked. You grabbed her wrist, shaking her to snap her out of her daze, “go follow him!” She looked at you, lips trembling, “wait, what was he doing here? He wasn't supposed to hear about it this way!” You shook your head, worry creeping up on you, “Ella go! This isn't the time to stand and question!” You pushed her out of the lab and she gave you one last look before she started running in the same direction Heeseung had walked a few minutes prior.
You immediately switched all the lights off and lock the lab door before handing it over to the lab assistant and run out of the main building to check if either Heeseung or Ella had stayed. And by the time you were outside, you spotted Heeseung's tall figure standing in the empty parking lot with Ella right in front of him. You slowly made your way towards the area, heart beating loudly at the scene unfolding in front of you. Unsurprisingly, both of them were too riled up to notice your figure.
“You're saying you were going to tell me later? Does that make sense to you? What do you mean later, Ella? Later as in, a day before leaving?” Heeseung snapped, eyes filled with hurt. Ella shook her head, “Heeseung, please listen to me…” Heeseung sighed, running his hand through his hair, “you're leaving in 5 days!” He groaned, “five days, Ella. They'll pass by in the blink of an eye and you're saying you were about to tell me?” Ella swallowed the lump formed in her throat, “I just didn't know how to tell you okay? I was just thinking of ways to tell you without hurting you.”
“Ella,” Heeseung's voice cracked, “do you even know how hurtful it is to overhear you talking about leaving early? You were by my side the whole day after that phone call with you mom, I dropped you off at home, I stayed back, we had drinks together and not once did you think about telling me about it.” His voice trembled as he spoke but he held on. Ella stepped closer, holding his hand, her own voice shaking, “I didn't mean to hurt you Heeseung, I didn't think you'd be so upset.”
Heeseung removed his hand from her hold, hand sliding inside his pocket to grab his keys, “so you thought returning back to the city, making new memories and leaving without proper goodbye wouldn't hurt me? Do you even realize how hard it was for me without you here?” Ella hung her head low, shutting her eyes close as he spoke, “I waited for you to come back to me, every single day, and when you finally came, you decided to leave without informing me properly. Do I mean so little to you?”
Ella shook her head, “Heeseung, don't say things like that, I care about you.” Heeseung scoffed, hands curling around the car's door handle, “surely not enough to tell me about you leaving early.” He slid inside his car, slamming the door shut behind him that it echoed throughout the parking lot. The car's engine roared and within seconds he pulled out of the university gates. You made your way inside the parking lot when Ella sat down on the curb, finally breaking down into tears.
“He just needs time,” you mumbled as you hugged her even though your chest ached watching him leaving like that. Ella wiped her tears, looking at you with broken eyes, “I messed everything up, didn't I?” You squeezed her shoulders, cradling her face, “no you didn’t, the timing was bad. But at least he knows you're leaving, he'll come around fast.” She nodded her head, leaning against you. She clutched your hand in hers, “he will forgive me right?” You sighed, running your hand through her hair, “he is just upset, he isn't going to abandon you over this.”
*******
The doorbell of your apartment rang as soon as you were done making pasta for four people along with a salad you threw together in five minutes. You opened the door with a wide smile and Mia pulled you into a hug. “Wow, the food smells nice,” Reene mumbled as she slipped her heels off. Ella entered last, handing you a bottle of wine before engulfing you in a hug. “I brought chips,” Mia announced as Reene put the box of brownies on the table. You brought the pasta and other things in the living room, deciding to just eat while you talked.
Ella poured a generous amount of wine in four mismatched mugs, as all of you sat on the floor. You raised an eyebrow, “isn't that too much wine, Ella?” She just laughed as everyone started digging the food. Mia raised her mug, “to the women who juggled deadlines and emotional trauma.” You laughed, raising your mug as well. Ella joined soon after, Reene was the last one, “to hot girl life.” The sound of clinking mugs filled the air as all of you giggled while taking small sips.
After the dishes were washed and dried in between shared memories and laughter, Reene dragged everyone back towards the living room. Taking out a small box containing sheet masks and various nail polishes. Soon all four of you were back on the living room floor, a soft playlist playing in the background. Your eyes wandered towards Mia who was focused on painting Reene’s nails a glossy emerald color as Reene complained about the scent being too strong.
Then your eyes fell over Ella who was painting your nails, a shade of dusty rose that felt too soft. You noticed how she had gone quiet after the dinner, and as if she sensed your gaze she looked up. You raised your eyebrows at her, tucking her hair out of her face. She sighed as her eyes trailed towards Mia and Reene who were also looking at her. “I'll miss this,” she confessed, looking down at the nail polish in her hand. Mia smiled, reaching up to squeeze her hand, “you can always come back, it's just London.”
Ella smiled, but didn't argue over the point, “this still feels like a goodbye.” You glanced down as she took your other hand and started painting your nails, her face looked more softer. You felt a pang in your chest as the realization hit you that you won't be able to meet her whenever you want after 2 days. The reality somehow was hitting you harder now. She looked up at you as she finished applying the nail polish, and you blew some air at it before smiling. “Even if this feels like a goodbye, at least make it count, we still have the whole night to ourselves.”
Ella smiled, and Mia pulled out the sheet masks and handed it over to everyone. Ella helped you with yours as Mia helped Reene with hers since your nails were freshly painted. The music played out, wine bottle empty, and the four of you sat together in your little bubble, talking about silly high school stories and nightmares. Ella insisted all four of you sleep together, so you managed to push the bed in one corner and throw the mattresses on the floor. Ella cuddled you while she slept, holding you tight, her eyes flickering with the unspoken ache of knowing things were about to change.
*******
You remove the fairy lights you helped her stick on her wall, a melancholic feeling settling inside your heart as you remembered the moments you shared with Ella in the now, almost empty room. You put the fairy lights inside a small box and toss it inside her duffle bag. Sitting down, you start folding the small pile of clothes that are yet to be packed and neatly keep them in her suitcase. You looked up to find Ella humming softly as she pulled a tangled mess of scarves from her drawer.
“You're leaving behind one hoodie, one mug and one heavily upset boy here with me,” you joked, breaking the silence which had settled inside her room. She let out a breathy laugh, though it sounded strained, “Heeseung doesn't need me.” You paused as you watched her fingers still on the scarf, eyes avoiding yours. “No,” you mumbled, keeping the last item of cloth inside her bag, “but he still wanted you.” Your words hang between you for sometime. You watch her sit down in front of you, keeping the neatly folded scarves inside the suitcase before finally closing it.
“I thought we had more time,” she whispered, “I thought we had time when I first moved to London too, I never thought I would end up hurting him so much.” Your heart clenched at her words, eyes instinctively falling over your phone which was kept beside you on the floor. Heeseung hadn't replied to any of your messages or calls since the day he fought with Ella. You had tried your best to not overstep his boundaries so he would have some time to figure out his emotions, but his silence and Ella's resignation was making everything more complicated than it should've been.
You sighed, “you think you've more time until you're counting hours rather than days.” She slid the suitcase to the side and shifted closer to wrap her hands around your shoulders, “do you think he'll hate me for leaving like this?” Her voice shook as she buried her face in your neck. You rubbed her back, “he can't hate you even if he tried, but I think all he wished for was for you to let him say goodbye properly. He was waiting for you, and when you finally came, he wasn't fully prepared to let you go off this soon.”
Her hold tightened around you, and you felt her tears streaming down before you heard her sobs. You bit your lips as you consoled her, trying to be the stronger one for her. “I'll miss you so much,” she cried and that was enough for you to lose your cool. Tears streamed down your face as you clutched her waist, “I'll miss you more Ella, I don't know how I'll go back to being in that lab alone after classes.” You aren't sure how long you both just cried, letting your emotions out. But as your cries subsidized and you packed the rest of her things, you knew her absence would leave a deep, empty space inside your heart.
*******
The living room of Heeseung's apartment felt lonelier than it used to. The TV screen was on, playing some mindless sitcom he wasn't even paying attention to. All of the guys had gone to hangout with Ella for the last time, a hangout even Heeseung was invited to. He sighed, the crease on his eyebrows hadn't relaxed for once. He closed his eyes momentarily, eyes drifting towards his phone back to back until he heard his doorbell ring.
He opened the door to find Jake, Jay and Sunghoon standing in front of him with passive expression on their faces. “I don't know what's going on inside your head Heeseung,” Jay mumbled as he sat down on the couch with others, “why didn't you come to see her? We all waited for you. She waited for you.”
Heeseung avoided their eyes, instead focusing on the TV. Jake looked at Jay before sighing, “look, we know you're pissed, but sulking and not interacting with anyone isn't going to change the fact that she's leaving.” Sunghoon finally spoke, disappointment laced in his voice as his mind drifted towards how Heeseung was the one who called him out on his behavior when he was fake dating Reene, “I know you're hurt, anyone else would have been too but you'll regret if the last thing you do is shut her out like this, don't let your anger talk louder than your feelings for her.”
“Look,” Jay started again, “she's our friend too, and just because she's leaving doesn't mean she'll stop being our friend. Same goes for you too, she has her reasons for leaving early. She didn't do this to hurt you, don't let your mind twist that fact for you.”
Jake nodded in agreement, “we are not going to tell you it doesn't hurt because it does, but don't burn your bond with her just because you're hurt.” Sunghoon slid closer to Heeseung, placing his hand on his shoulder to comfort him. Heeseung didn't speak anything but they noticed how his jaw was relaxed and the tight grip he had on the remote had loosened, and for now, that was enough.
*******
You looked back towards the entrance of the airport one last time before you walked towards the departure gate. The area hummed with the usual mix of chatter, flight announcement, rolling of suitcases and goodbyes for people like you. Watching Ella stand before you, with suitcase and her passport in her hand, made your heart ache. She smiled looking towards you, hair a little frizzy due to the rush. She made her way towards Sunghoon, who quietly slipped a chocolate bar in her bag. “Don't forget us,” he mumbled as Ella engulfed him in a hug. Then she moved to Jake, who handed her a little bear keychain, “it's nothing much, think of it like you are carrying a piece of us with you.”
Ella took it from him, immediately attaching it to her duffle bag. She hugged him, “I'll keep it safe.” Jay stepped forward next, his movements more measured as he hugged her and softly reminded her, “try not to overwork yourself, and stay connected.” She pulled back, nodding, “I won't disappear.” Finally, she made her way towards Mia and Reene and pulled them into her arms. The promises of video calls, quick final photos and laughter were shared. And then she turned towards you.
You didn't realize you were smiling until she mirrored it and the second she wrapped her arms around you, a shaky breath escaped your lips. Your hands wrapped around her waist, and neither of you pulled away, too scared the moment will pass. Nothing was said but you felt everything, the steady rhythm of her heart against yours, the subtle tightening of her hands, the quiet exhale she let out as she let go of you. “You are one of the main reasons why my stay at the university felt so welcomed,” she mumbled, eyes glassy, “I'll always carry you with me.”
You bit the inside of your cheeks to force your tears back. When you spoke, your voice came out lighter than you expected, “I am hoping you filled the flight details correctly this time, because I won't be there to entertain you.” She let out a laugh, a single tear escaping her eyes, which you wiped instantly. She held your hand and squeezed it, taking a look at everyone. You watched her eyes trail towards the entrance for a quick second before she stepped back, waving her hand one last time before she turned around.
Silence wrapped around the six of you as she waved to you all for the last time before her figure disappeared from your sight. You felt someone squeeze your shoulder, and turn your head to find Mia giving you a small smile. You leaned against her, letting her quiet presence speak for the loneliness you felt in your chest. You sighed, about to say something when you heard frantic footsteps echoing through the quiet environment. You all turned at once and there he was, Heeseung.
His hair was messy, chest rising and falling as he ran through the terminal, his gaze trailed throughout the departure gate, searching, till they landed on you and others. His pace slowed down as he stopped near you, eyes trained on the glass that showed Ella's flight taking off. His lips parted as if he wanted to say something, but no words came out. Your breath hitched as realization dawned upon you, he came. But he came too late, too late to see her one last time, too late to say one final goodbye.
From beside you, Jake whispered, “Heeseung….” but the name hung in the air, uselessly. Heeseung dropped to his knees, head hung low in defeat. Without realizing, your feet took you towards his slumped figure. You squeezed his shoulder, chest aching for him. No one else moved, no one spoke as they watched him. All you could do was be there for him, sharing the hollowness Ella left behind as her flight disappeared into the horizon.
The discussion about the ride back from the airport was as heavy as the silence Ella left behind. You could see the way Heeseung's hands trembled by his side. You reached over, gently holding his hand in yours, “let me drive you home.” He turned his head towards you, but he didn't answer. Just quietly handed you the keys as he started walking, making his way towards the airport's parking lot. You shared a look with others before all of you followed him out, letting him have his space.
*******
You unlocked the car's door and Heeseung slid into the passenger's seat. Before you could enter the car, Jay called your name. You stopped, turning towards him as he whispered, “can you stay with him for a while, don't leave him alone please? I think you're the only one, who he wouldn't push away right now.” Your eyes fell upon the car as you nodded, “I was going to stay anyway.” Jay nodded as he stepped back and Jake appeared, “text us if anything happens okay? And don't let him shut you out.”
With that, you slid into the driver's seat. The drive itself felt endless, you kept glancing towards Heeseung, who just looked out of the window, jaw locked tight. His hands weren't trembling anymore but you could see the hurt evident on his face. Finally, you pulled into his apartment's parking lot. “I'm staying,” you announced as you both locked the car's door behind you. Taking small steps, you stood in front of him, “you don't have to say anything, I just don't want you to be alone.” His throat bobbed as he looked into your eyes, breathing heavily before he slowly nodded.
*******
“I couldn't even see her for the last time,” Heeseung whispered as he sat on the edge of his bed, eyes blank as he stared at the wall in front of him. You sighed softly, standing close enough for your hands to touch his arms, “she isn't gone forever, Heeseung.” He closed his eyes as he gulped, still not over the fact that he arrived too late. And before you could comprehend, he reached out for you, pulling you between his knees as he wrapped his hands around your waist. Your breath hitched, hands instinctively clutching on his shoulders to stabilize yourself.
His forehead pressed against your stomach, his entire body trembling as if the weight of Ella's departure had finally dawned upon him. “What should I do now?” His voice cracked as he stammered, “I always mess up. I wait, I hesitate, and then I regret.” His hold on your waist tightened as he buried his face deeper. Your chest tightened at his words. Hesitantly, you ran your fingers through his hair, rubbing his neck to calm him down. “You're not messing anything up,” you mumbled, “it hurts because it matters.”
He shook his head, not pulling away, “but I should have reached sooner, the traffic was so heavy, I should've given her a proper goodbye. I should've told her everything.” His words were rushed, like he was tired of bottling them inside him for too long. You sighed, “then tell her everything. It's not too late.”
He tilted his head up to look at you, chin placed on your stomach, “she's already gone though.” You removed the hair from his forehead, “not gone completely, she's just on the different side of the globe. Flights exist for a reason. If you can't let go of the regret, if you really want to, go to her. Don't wait too long, don't wait until it's too late.”
For a moment, he just looked at you. Eyelashes wet with tears, doe eyes opened wide as he spoke, “you think I should?” You nodded as you cupped his jaw, wiping the tears that escaped his eyes, “if that's where your heart is, then go. Don't trap yourself here, wishing for things to be different when you are doing nothing to change it.” He swallowed hard, looking at you like he was searching for some answers. His hold loosened, but he kept holding you, “what if it doesn’t work out?” You smiled, rubbing your thumb across his cheek, “then at least you'll know that you tried, you won't drown into what ifs.”
He held his breath for sometime before he pressed his forehead against your stomach, again. A breathy laugh escaped his lips, “you have a way with your words.” This time when he pulled away to look at you, he let his tears escape freely and you wiped each of them religiously. You just leaned down to press a gentle kiss on his forehead before pulling him into you. He poured out all his feelings through his sobs, and you just held him until there were no tears left. And in the quiet that followed afterwards, you realized that you were preparing yourself to let him go, even when it hurt.
*******
“Don't abandon us completely while you're in London,” Jake muttered as he nudged Heeseung's shoulders. The driveway of Heeseung's apartment was crowded with voices, but none of them felt lighthearted. “I wouldn't be able to abandon you guys even if I wanted to, you know?” Heeseung scoffed, closing the trunk of his car. “Take care of yourself,” Jay mumbled, patting him on the back. Heeseung nodded, giving one last hug to Sunghoon. “We'll wait for you,” Sunghoon muttered after pulling away.
You were leaning against the hood of his car, the keys jingling in your hands as you played with it. Your focus was entirely on the keys because you didn't want to intrude their moment. You looked up when Jay called your name, “drive safe okay? Call me if you need anything.” You smiled, sliding inside the car when Heeseung sat in the passenger's seat. “Ready?” You questioned as you pulled out of the driveway after Heeseung stopped waving at the boys. He glanced at you before adjusting in his seat, “I guess, I'm more nervous though.”
The rest of the drive was filled with silence, as he kept looking out of the window, mind somewhere deep in thought. You could see his nervousness with the way he kept fiddling with the strings of his hoodie, his jaw tight. You sighed, drifting your attention back on the road, “you don't have to look so guilty you know?” He let out a small hum of confusion but then sighed, “I don't know, I feel like I'm abandoning everyone here.” You nodded, “you're not abandoning anyone, you're just doing what you feel is right. Trying to find answers to your questions doesn't mean you're abandoning them.”
He turned his head to look at you, letting your words sink inside his head. You pulled at the airport's parking lot, helping him with the luggage as you made your way towards the departure terminal. You looked at the timing for the flight as he handled everything before coming back to you. “Use my car while I'm gone,” Heeseung casually stated as he adjusted his bag. “What?” You asked, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “I said what I said,” he shrugged, eyes softening as he looked at you, “it will just stay in the parking lot otherwise, use it, until I come back, please?”
Your eyes darted towards his keys in your hand, the small deer charm along with the letter ‘H’ dangling idly. Your fingers tightened around the keys, “okay, mainly because you added please.” He rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless when the announcement happened. “Don't stop hanging out with the guys or the girls just because Ella and I aren't there,” he mumbled, stepping closer, “especially Jake, Jay has Mia, Sunghoon has Reene so he's bound to feel lonely, he gets sulky like that, please look after him for me?”
You nodded, swallowing the lump inside your throat. It was about time he would disappear behind the gates to go where his heart belonged and you had to pull yourself together after he was gone. “I should go,” he stated but didn't make any movements to pull away, instead he reached for your hand, holding it firmly in his, “take care of yourself too.” You blinked back the tears that welled up in your eyes as he stepped back.
“All the best,” you wished as you waved him off, voice fragile, drowning into the sea of rolling suitcases and flight announcements. He gave you a tight smile before turning away. His tall frame drifted towards the departure gates, each step felt like weight being put on your chest with a finality that this was it. You stood frozen in your spot, fingers tight around his car keys, fighting the sting in your eyes as you watched him go farther away from you.
You were about to go back when you saw him stop before he turned around. His eyes found yours instantly and your breath hitched when you saw him walk back, each step deliberate. You didn't move. He exhaled loudly as he reached you, hands reaching you to cradle your face. “Heeseung are you ok-” before you could finish your sentence, he leaned down without hesitation. His lips brushing against your cheek, soft but lingering. “Thank you,” he whispered, tilting your head to press a kiss on your other cheek, “for everything.”
This time, when he stepped away, he didn't stop, didn't look back one last time. You stood rooted in your place, cheeks still warm as they burned with the ghosts of his kisses. His figure disappeared behind the gates, leaving you with nothing but a hollow ache in your chest with everything unspoken between you two. And as you watched his flight take off from the airport, you wondered if this is what heartbreak felt like. Like praying he'd find what he was looking for, even if it meant quietly unraveling your dream you never had courage to claim.
heart just broke into a million pieces 😊😊
saw ateez saturday & i miss them so much but enjoy some random photos i took 🗣️🔥 enha is nexttttt
healed me fr
HUENINGKAI :: 250621 SMA Red Carpet
actual pretty boy my gosh
THE WAY I LOVED YOU — park sunghoon
Years after a quiet, painful breakup, you are assigned to write a profile on South Korea’s most elusive figure skater, Park Sunghoon, who just so happens to be your ex-boyfriend. What was supposed to be a byline quickly spirals into a collision of unresolved feelings, buried emotions that are edging too close to the surface, and the slow thaw between two people who once meant the world to each other. With every step you take back into his orbit, the line between story and truth begins to blur—and the version of him you thought you knew starts to unravel.
word count: 44k (LMFAOOOOOOO)
pairing: figureskater!ex!sunghoon x sportsjournalist!afab!reader
featuring: yunah, minju, and moka from illit
genre: figure skating au, exes to lovers, the one that got away, sunshine x midnight rain, second chance romance, right person wrong time but also becomes right time(?), opposites attract, slow burn, ANGST
warnings: this story contains miscommunication at its PEAK, emotional distress, mentions of injury, past breakup, abandonment, and themes of regret, long-distance, sunghoon ice prince stereotype, mutual pining, girl putting more effort than guy, hopeless romantic core, emphasis on love language, usage of profanities, slight indication of intimacy (literally like one paragraph if you squint), angst, angst, angst, and oh! angst, also maybe slight inaccuracies to real life sports delegations(?)
disclaimer: this is a work of pure fiction. If any context is similar to any other stories, it's either inspired (in which credit will be given) or just a coincidence. the characters' personalities, words, actions and thoughts do not represent them in real life. any resemblance to any real life events or person, present or past, are purely coincidental. i apologise in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes. characters are aged up for plot purpose.
notes from nat: ngl. i almost didn't want to put this out. but I know people have been waiting and I can be overly critical with myself sometimes... and 44k words is ALOT to just leave it in the drafts, so here you guys go! highly recommended to read with the playlist i curated in order! without further ado, enjoy!
tags: #tfwy thewayilovedyou #tfwy au
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The office is louder than usual for a Monday morning. Keyboards clatter like a percussion ensemble, and the faint hum of printers competes with the buzz of hurried conversations. The aroma of coffee lingers, sharp and bitter. You sit at your desk, staring at your laptop screen, fingers hovering over the keyboard but typing nothing.
Your new assignment email glares at you with a subject line you never thought you’d see: "Profile Piece on Park Sunghoon."
Park Sunghoon. Even his name feels heavy in your chest.
Memories surge to the surface—his laughter ringing through late-night phone calls, the sparkle in his eyes when he spoke about skating, and the tension in his voice during those last arguments before everything unravelled. It’s been years, but the ghost of him lingers like a song stuck in your head.
“Y/N, you’ve got the Sunghoon piece, right?” your editor, Yunah, calls out, snapping you out of your trance. She’s a whirlwind of energy, dressed in a sharp blazer with a coffee mug permanently glued to her hand.
“Yeah,” you reply, trying to sound casual, though your voice wavers slightly. “I’ve got it.”
“Good,” she says, striding over to your desk. “The story’s got legs. Everyone’s buzzing about his reappearance and return to Korea. Olympic dreams, media darling, potential scandal… you’ve got to dig deep on this one. Make it personal.”
“Personal?” The word makes your stomach churn. “Isn’t that more tabloidy than what we’re used to?”
“Sports tabloids pay the bills, sweetheart,” Yunah says with a shrug. “And you’re the perfect person for this. You’ve got the knack for human stories, and Sunghoon’s story is nothing if not human. Besides, you went to the same university, right?”
The question hangs in the air, deceptively light. You hesitate for a moment too long, and Yunah’s brows lift, a knowing smirk tugging at her lips. “Ah, I see,” she says teasingly. “Well, use it to your advantage.”
Of course. You forgot you're surrounded by people who read body language for a living. There’s no hiding anything from her.
She walks away before you can respond, leaving you with the sinking realisation that she’s not entirely wrong. Who better to cover Park Sunghoon’s meteoric rise—and whatever personal demons he’s carrying—than the girl who once loved him?
By lunchtime, you’ve done enough digging to know exactly what you’re up against.
Sunghoon’s name is everywhere.
His face—still frustratingly photogenic—plastered across articles, feature spreads, and fan-edited clips with dramatic music overlays. They all show a polished, confident man, far removed from the awkward boy you used to know. His dark hair is perfectly styled, his tailored suits scream sophistication, and his trademark smirk has only grown more enigmatic.
You scroll through write-ups that gush about his triumphant return to the ice. They speculate whether he’ll qualify for the next international season, drop cryptic mentions of a “new fire in his eyes,” and cite sources that can’t seem to agree whether his hiatus was due to injury or personal issues. Or both.
There are whispers about a reality show stint during his time in Spain—something lowkey, never officially aired, but leaked through blurry screenshots and strategically placed fan theories. A training arc in disguise, if you had to guess. Classic Sunghoon: disappearing, reinventing, and re-emerging like nothing happened.
And now? He’s starting to make headlines again.
Which makes sense, you suppose. He hasn’t been in the public eye for months. Not since that withdrawal from the Grand Prix final. Not since the buzz about that infamous tussle—the one that sports reporters avoided naming outright but loved to allude to. The speculation only made him more mysterious. More magnetic. The kind of story that writes itself: the fallen star, re-forging his crown.
Yunah’s right—the story’s got legs. You just wish you weren’t the one chasing it.
You stare blankly at the screen, lips pressed together as your cursor hovers over yet another article about him.
You were supposed to be over this.
And yet, you can’t deny the tightness coiling in your chest—not jealousy, exactly. Not regret, either. Just something far messier. The kind of feeling that comes from watching someone you once loved be glorified by the same world that never saw the nights you spent waiting for him to call. The world that didn’t witness the quiet crumbling of a girl who poured so much of herself into someone who didn’t know how to hold it.
You slam your laptop shut.
If he’s back on the ice, fine. Good for him.
But you’re not the same girl who used to cry over his missed calls and make excuses for his silence. You have a job to do. A byline to earn. And if this rink ends up being his comeback stage, then so be it.
You’ll be there—not as the girl who once loved him, but as the reporter who can write his rise without flinching.
The first step is setting up an interview, which means reaching out to his management. This whole thing could very well end here. You’ll send the email, Sunghoon will reject the request—just like he does with every other news agency or tabloid that thinks they can score an exclusive interview with him. Yunah will realise you’re not some journalistic prodigy, and she’ll move on to the next big headline.
That should comfort you. When Sunghoon says no, it’s over—no awkward reunions, no dredging up memories you’ve spent years trying to bury. And yet, you hesitate, fingers trembling as they hover over the keyboard.
The email stares back at you, every word perfectly composed, detached, professional. It doesn’t betray the tangle of thoughts fighting for dominance in your mind.
From: You Subject: Interview Request for Park Sunghoon Profile Piece Dear Ms. Yoon, I hope this email finds you well. My name is Kang Y/N, and I’m a journalist with Manifesto Daily. Our team is planning a profile piece on athlete Park Sunghoon, focusing on his inspiring journey as a professional athlete and his return to Korea. I would like to request an interview with Mr. Park to discuss his career, his aspirations for the future, and any personal insights he’d be willing to share with our readers. The piece aims to highlight his achievements and provide a deeper understanding of the person behind the athlete. Please let me know a time and date that would work best for Mr. Park’s schedule. I am happy to accommodate and can meet at his convenience. Should you require any further details about the story or our publication, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Thank you for considering this request. I look forward to your response. Best regards, Kang Y/N Senior Journalist (Sports Division) Manifesto Daily +82 XX XXXX YYYY
Highlight his achievements and provide a deeper understanding of the person behind the athlete. You scoff. As if you don’t already have enough material to craft an in-depth exposé on Park Sunghoon—complete with anecdotes, vivid details, and a treasure trove of receipts that you’ve kept buried at the back of your mind, and perhaps in a folder on your computer.
You know the kind of person Park Sunghoon is. You’ve seen him at his most passionate, the fire in his eyes when he spoke about mastering a new routine, and at his most vulnerable, when doubts about his own abilities kept him up at night.
You’ve also witnessed him at his ugliest—those moments when he seemed completely disinterested during your calls, only for you to catch glimpses of him laughing unabashedly in his training mate’s Instagram stories. When he sent curt, dry texts that cut to your insecurities, leaving you questioning if you were the problem. And yet, now here you are, facing the daunting question: Who is he today? A polished media darling, exuding poise and confidence, or a jerk who simply broke your heart?
You’re not just writing a profile; it’s about untangling the complexities of the boy you once loved and the man he has become, all while confronting the version of him that’s lived rent-free in your head for years.
When you finally hit send, you lean back in your chair, exhaling deeply. It’s done. Now all you can do is wait.
The reply comes faster than expected.
For a moment, you stare at the screen, rereading the email as if the words might change.
He said yes. The one answer you hadn’t prepared yourself for. A mix of relief and dread washes over you in waves, leaving you momentarily frozen.
From: [email protected] Subject: Re: Interview Request for Park Sunghoon Profile Piece Dear Ms. Kang, Thank you for reaching out. Sunghoon has reviewed your request and is happy to make time to participate in the interview for your profile piece. We appreciate your interest in highlighting his journey and achievements. The interview can be scheduled for this Thursday at 3:00 PM at the Olympic Training Rink in Seoul. Please confirm if this timing works for you. Additionally, let us know if there are any specific topics or questions you’d like Sunghoon to prepare for in advance. Should you require further assistance, feel free to contact me directly. Best regards, Yoon Ji-eun Executive Assistant, Park Sunghoon +82 XX XXXX YYYY
“Happy to make time,” you mutter under your breath, staring at the email on your screen. A bitter laugh escapes before you can stop it. Does he even remember you? Or are you just another journalist to him now, a faceless name lost among the countless people chasing for a headline?
He must remember you. Right? After all, you were together for over four years—four long, formative years that shaped so much of who you are. And out of those four, at least three were good years. Happy years. The kind of memories that even if you wanted to forget, you couldn’t.
He isn’t just part of your past; he is your past. From the moment you met him in freshman year college during orientation, to your graduation, and all the way up to the day he left for Spain to chase his dreams, Sunghoon was a constant—a gravitational force you couldn’t escape.
Late-night study sessions that turned into early-morning phone calls. The excitement of travelling to watch his competitions, where his focus on the ice was matched only by the way his eyes would light up when he found you waiting in the stands. The quiet moments, too—the ones where he’d rest his head on your lap after a long day of training, eyes closed, his walls momentarily lowered.
You remember all of it, vividly. How could you not? It’s etched into the foundation of who you are, whether you like it or not. He alone made up your youth.
And he alone crushed it.
The day of the interview arrives quicker than you’re ready for. The sky is overcast, mirroring the grey swirl of nerves in your stomach as you make your way to the Olympic Training Rink. The moment you step inside, a wave of cold air hits you—crisp and unforgiving, seeping through your coat like a reminder of why you're really here.
The rink is quieter than expected. No coaches shouting instructions, no background music blaring. Just the sharp, rhythmic slice of blades on ice echoing through the vast, open space. The sound is hypnotic.
You spot him immediately. His movements are unmistakable—precise, elegant, detached—just like the version of him the world sees now. It’s surreal. For a moment, you're frozen. He’s always been like this on the ice, as if he belongs to a world the rest of us can only watch from the sidelines.
When he finally notices you, he skates over, his expression unreadable. Up close, he’s both familiar and foreign. The boy you loved is still there, but he’s hidden beneath layers of polished professionalism and years of distance.
“Y/N,” he says, his voice even. “It’s been a while.”
You force a smile, clutching your research papers like it’s the only thing tethering you to professionalism. “It has. Thanks for agreeing to this.”
He nods, gaze unwavering. “Anything for the press, right?”
The faintest curl of his lip accompanies the words, not quite a smirk, but it lands somewhere between sarcasm and civility. There’s a hint of irony in his tone, and you can’t tell if he’s mocking you, the situation, or himself. Either way, it stings in a place you wish was long numb.
You follow him as he skates toward the side lounge near the rink, where a table and chair have been set up for you. You set your things down, press the recorder button, and glance at your questions. But already, you can feel it—the reckoning of something unspoken humming beneath every word, every breath.
The breakup was as cold and sharp as the ice he mastered so effortlessly. Sunghoon’s inability to express himself had always been a quiet undercurrent in your relationship, but distance magnified the cracks until they became impossible to ignore.
At first, you told yourself it was temporary. A phase. Just the price of loving someone whose dreams demanded everything of him. While he trained under the Spanish sun—chasing medals, perfection, legacy—you remained behind, stuck in the grey stillness of routine. Every morning was a quiet scroll through his tagged posts: flashes of sunlight on ice, arms slung around new faces, effortless smiles captured in perfect golden-hour light. He looked happy. Free. And you… you were still waiting, clinging to half-hearted apologies and empty reassurances.
The timezone difference was a fact of life, yes—but it wasn’t the hours that made him feel far away. It was the way he spoke with one foot already out the door. Every call became more strained, the conversation shallow, like he was rationing his energy and you were the last on his list. His words were careful, rehearsed, as if emotional honesty was a risk he couldn’t afford on top of training and public scrutiny.
Sometimes he wouldn’t even call, and when they did come, they hurt more than the silence. His eyes flickered elsewhere on the screen, distracted by movement off-camera or the notifications lighting up his phone. His voice was flat, barely warm, like he was speaking to a colleague—not someone who used to fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. The nickname "Ice Prince" had once made you laugh, made you tease him during post-practice ramen dates. But it wasn’t funny anymore. It became a prophecy fulfilled—he had built walls you could no longer scale, frozen over the places you used to call home.
When the arguments came, they were frigid and brittle, snapping under the weight of unspoken frustrations. You started to memorise the pauses in his speech, the way he hesitated before saying your name—as though he wasn’t sure how to feel about it anymore.
It wasn’t just the miles between you that drove you apart—it was the glacier of his guarded heart, one you couldn’t thaw no matter how hard you tried.
And then one night, wrapped in a hoodie that still smelled faintly of him, you sat curled up on the steep edge of your windowsill, your knees pulled tight to your chest, eyes scanning the city like it might offer you answers. The lights blinked on like constellations you couldn’t name anymore, and you realised—with a crushing, reluctant clarity—you were holding him back.
But more importantly, he was holding you back.
Your lives had become separate timelines that only intersected on screens and stilted calls, and even then, it felt like you were orbiting each other with no gravity left to pull you close again. The connection you once cherished had thinned until it became a thread you had to squint to see, and even then, it felt like a lie.
So you did the one thing that felt more honest than any of your recent conversations: you typed out the words you’d been avoiding for weeks, hands shaking, eyes blurry.
“Maybe we’re both better off letting go.”
And hit send.
Just like that, another four years passed without him.
Time, as always, moved in quiet, unremarkable ways—through the steady ticking of clocks and the dull rhythm of workdays blending into each other. You had slowly, stubbornly, climbed the ranks of your publishing company, carving a name for yourself as a senior reporter. It wasn’t glamorous, but it was yours.
Unexpectedly, you had found yourself swept into the whirlwind of sports journalism—ironic, in retrospect, considering how closely that world is being tied to him. But you told yourself it was coincidence. That it was your choice now. That your world, your career, your interests, were no longer shadowed by Sunghoon's orbit or shaped by the way he used to talk about the thrill of competing and nailing six-minute routines like they were sacred.
You insisted you were free. And maybe that was true. But in the quiet spaces between deadlines and press boxes, in the few spare seconds before interviews began or crowds broke into applause, you couldn’t stop that lingering, almost shameful thought from blooming: that maybe, just maybe, some part of you had always hoped to run into him again.
Not to rekindle anything. Not to reach for what had already slipped through your fingers.
But to show him. Show him that you had thrived. That you were still standing after everything. That the girl he left behind was long gone, replaced by someone sharper, stronger, more whole.
But now—now that you find yourself in this predicament, frozen in place on the edge of a rink you never expected to be at, watching the familiar curve of his form cut across the ice with the same breathtaking grace—you feel like a fool for ever thinking you were ready.
You want nothing more than for the ground beneath you to crack open and swallow you whole. Because seeing him again doesn’t fill you with triumph. It doesn’t validate anything. It just hurts.
Worse than it should.
And it terrifies you how easy it is to fall back into that ache.
“Hello? Earth to Y/N.”
You blink, startled out of your reverie by the sight of Sunghoon waving a hand in front of your face. You hadn’t even realised you'd spaced out.
“Sorry,” you murmur, clearing your throat. Your fingers fumble with the papers you had so meticulously prepped—highlighted, annotated, sorted in order—yet now you pretend to look for something among them, just to avoid his gaze. You know it’s a weak cover. And karma hits fast.
A gust of air from the heater overhead flutters your stack of papers, and before you can react, a dozen sheets slip from your grip and scatter. Some land across the floor. Others fly dramatically over the rink’s low barricade, drifting like paper snowflakes onto the pristine ice.
“Oh, shit—” you hiss, already scrambling to gather them, crawling after loose pages that slip under chairs and along the skirting of the rink. You’re mumbling curses to yourself under your breath as you pick up the pieces of paper off the floor when your eyes zone in on a particular page that landed upright. Your breath catches.
Reference 4: Compilation of Netizens’ Impressions on Athlete Park
+62 -12 wow as expected park sunghoon! young, rich and handsome. must be a dream to date someone like him Dream or nightmare? Not really sure but okay.
+120 -24 kyaaaa he’s so handsome!! I’m a fan! What’s the point of being handsome? He’s a jerk!
+82 -4 wow how can someone look so perfect… he looks like a disney character Correct. More specifically, that giant ice golem from Frozen -.-
+32 -6 i wonder if he has a girlfriend. There must be so much pressure dating someone as perfect as Park Sunghoon. It’s okay, i’ll volunteer!! No pressure. He doesn’t open up enough for you to feel pressure. Still, may the odds be ever in your favour.
Your stomach drops. You’d forgotten those were even there—your sardonic, late-night annotations scribbled in red pen. Bitter, sharp, personal. And littered all over your research stack.
You snap your head up, and horror freezes your limbs.
Sunghoon is on the ice leaning casually against the rink barricade, one of the annotated pages in hand. His expression is a cocktail of amusement and disbelief, and worst of all—a hint of knowing. He reads aloud in a slow, deliberate tone, his voice dripping with mockery.
“‘Park Sunghoon is a block of ice personified. If you want to know what it's like dating a block of ice, 10/10 recommend.’”
He scoffs, dropping the page slightly to meet your eyes.
“Interesting research.”
Your blood rushes to your ears. You feel exposed, raw, like someone’s just peeled the skin back from every nerve ending and left them pulsing in the open air. You can’t even remember writing that annotation—but of course it’s in red, underlined, and impossible to ignore. One of many off-handed comments scrawled across your notes, never meant to be seen. Certainly not by him.
“I—I didn’t mean for that to—” You falter. What can you even say? You were angry when you wrote those, bitter and alone at 2 a.m., trying to turn pain into sarcasm.
Sunghoon studies you, his expression unreadable again. But there’s something in the way he watches you—like he’s trying to figure out if you’re the same girl he once knew, or someone entirely new. Someone just as guarded now as he once was.
“Didn’t mean for what?” he drawls, raising an eyebrow. “You mean you didn’t mean to write all these berating comments in bold red ink all over your research paper?” He plucks up another sheet from the scattered pile, the corners of his mouth twitching. “Let’s see what else we’ve got.”
You instantly recognise that one. Your heart sinks. It’s that page—the one where you’d printed promotional shots of him modelling for an active sportswear brand. Not only had you annotated it with snide remarks about his ‘unnecessarily photogenic jawline,’ but you’d also drawn little devil horns and moustaches across his face like a deranged kindergartener with a vendetta.
“Oh my god, give me that!” you blurt out, reaching instinctively over the rink barricade in an attempt to snatch it back. But of course, Sunghoon is Sunghoon—a whole seven inches taller and built like someone who only lives and breaths protein. He easily keeps the paper just out of reach, lifting it higher with an infuriating flick of his wrist.
And then there’s the bloody barricade. Cold, unyielding metal pressing against your ribs as you lean further than you probably should. You’re close enough now to see the faint smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, the smug glint in his eyes that says he’s enjoying this far too much.
“Wow,” he muses, inspecting the doodles with mock appreciation. “You even gave me fangs. That’s new.”
“Sunghoon, I swear to God—”
“Relax.” He folds the paper with exaggerated care and waves it around in the air, taunting you. “I’m flattered you still think about me. Even if it’s in your own… special way.”
You feel a slow, rising heat on your cheeks, accompanied by the realisation that you’re no longer sure who’s in control of this interview anymore—you or the boy you once loved who is now laughing at your annotated emotional breakdowns.
You’re burning with embarrassment. Mortification. But more than that, you’re furious—at him, at yourself, at the stupid page still clutched in his hand like a golden ticket. Without thinking, you shove open the rink’s side gate and step onto the ice.
“Y/N—” he calls, warning laced in his voice. But you don’t listen.
Your flats hit the ice and your body immediately regrets the decision. You’re not dressed for this. The soles of your shoes slip against the surface, and gravity betrays you in a matter of seconds.
“Shit—!”
You yelp as your foot skids out from under you. The papers in your hand fly upward in a dramatic arc, and your arms flail as you lose balance completely. A part of you braces for the impact, the cold bite of ice against your back and the guaranteed humiliation that’ll follow.
Four years since you’ve seen your ex-boyfriend, and you’re about to face-plant onto the very place that drove him away from you.
Damn this ice rink. Damn you, Park Sunghoon.
But the fall never comes.
Instead, there’s a sudden blur of motion—fast, practiced, effortless. Arms wrap around you just in time, steadying your momentum as your body lurches forward. You slam into something solid—someone solid—and for a moment, all you hear is the rapid pounding of your heart and the low whoosh of his skates cutting against the ice.
You look up.
Sunghoon stares down at you, jaw tight, one arm around your waist and the other gripping your wrist where he caught you. The smirk is gone now, replaced with something quieter—unreadable.
You’re close. Too close. You can feel the steady rise and fall of his breath, the lingering warmth of his touch against your coat sleeve. He steadies you like muscle memory, like no time has passed at all.
“You never change,” he mutters under his breath, but there’s something indecipherable in his tone—annoyed, maybe. Or amused. Or maybe he just doesn’t know what to feel either.
You pull away quickly, too quickly, slipping again slightly before you regain your footing with a shaky huff. Your palms are planted against his chest, and you can feel the familiar beat of his heart under all that armour of fabric and calm. It rattles you more than the near-fall did.
You open your mouth to snap something biting—maybe about how you didn’t need his help, or how you’d rather eat the ice than owe him—but then you see it.
A flicker of pain across his face. A wince.
It’s subtle. So quick that anyone else might’ve missed it. But not you. You’d studied that face for years. You know what his mask looks like when it slips.
He straightens a little too stiffly, his jaw tightening as he shifts his weight from one leg to the other. It’s slight, but telling. Your brows draw together as a thought rises, uninvited and stubborn.
The rumours about his injury.
It wasn’t reported officially—just whispers that circulated through the sports journalism grapevine. A rumoured altercation in Spain with another figure skater. A "tussle," they called it. No names, no details, just speculation buried in a few poorly sourced articles and message board threads that vanished almost as quickly as they appeared. Some even said it was the real reason he disappeared from competition for two entire seasons.
At the time, it had seemed like nothing more than gossip. Now, watching the way he stands with deliberate caution, the rumour doesn’t seem so far-fetched.
“You okay?” you ask before you can stop yourself.
He pauses, then gives a short nod, not meeting your eyes. “Fine. You’re the one slipping all over the place.”
You bristle. “Well, maybe if you didn’t dangle incriminating evidence over the ice like a Bond villain—”
He actually laughs at that. It’s quiet, caught off guard, and so startlingly familiar that it sends a jolt through your chest. For a second, just a second, you forget everything else—the sarcasm, the history, the sharp words—and remember how that laugh used to feel like home.
But it fades quickly. And in its place is that wall again—the carefully constructed version of him the world sees.
You dust yourself off, avoiding his gaze as you mutter, “Thanks. For not letting me faceplant.”
“Don’t mention it,” he says, voice neutral again. “Would’ve been a liability issue.”
You roll your eyes and crouch to pick up another page, trying to focus on your scattered notes rather than the ache settling low in your chest. He doesn’t say anything, but you can feel his eyes on you, can feel the weight of everything unsaid pressing down between you.
Your mind also lingers on the way he winced—on the possibility that something deeper still lurks beneath the polished exterior.
“I’m on a tight schedule today. Let’s get the interview started, shall we?” Sunghoon says coolly, handing you the last of your scattered notes.
You take it from him, eyes briefly flickering to the page. Another cringe ripples through you—more scribbled sarcasm in the margins, barely legible under your rushed handwriting. Fantastic. But you school your expression, swallowing the urge to snatch it back and set it on fire.
“Thanks,” you say evenly, forcing composure into your voice as you tuck the page into your folder. “Let’s begin.”
You sit back down, smoothing the creases from your notes as you click the recorder on again. Your pen hovers above the page for a second too long.
“Alright,” you begin, adopting your neutral reporter tone, “let’s start with something simple. You’ve been back in Korea for a little over three months now. How has the transition been, returning after so long abroad?”
Sunghoon leans forward slightly, arms crossed in that easy, guarded posture you remember all too well.
“Busy,” he says. “Familiar, in some ways. But the pace here is different. Everyone’s watching. Everyone expects something.”
You jot that down, even though it doesn’t say much. It’s a good warm-up answer. Controlled. Polished.
“Does that pressure ever affect your performance?” you press gently, eyes flicking up to catch his expression.
He shrugs, gaze fixed somewhere over your shoulder. “Pressure’s part of the job. If it affects you, you don’t belong here.”
You resist the urge to raise a brow. There it is again—that edge in his voice, so calm it almost passes for indifference. Almost.
You move to your next question. “You’ve recently partnered with Belift for their new activewear line. What drew you to them over the other offers on the table?”
A pause. A flicker of amusement tugs at the corner of his mouth. You realise too late that this is the same line of questioning printed on the devil-horned page still sticking out of your folder.
“I liked their vision,” he says, but the glance he gives you is pointed. “Something about... sharp lines and ice tones. Felt on-brand.”
You cough lightly, ignoring the jab. “And the photoshoot?” you ask, pen poised again. “You received quite a response online. Some say it marked a shift in your public image—less ‘Ice Prince,’ more...”
“‘Devilishly handsome and emotionally unavailable’?” he offers, arching a brow.
You shoot him a look. “That’s not exactly what I was going to say.”
“Sure it wasn’t.”
A beat of silence passes before you recover. “Let’s pivot. In Spain, you were training under Coach Morales. How did his style compare to what you were used to in Korea?”
Sunghoon exhales, shoulders dropping slightly. For the first time, his answer comes without a filter.
“He was tougher. Stricter, but less traditional. He didn’t care how I was perceived—only what I delivered. And if I didn’t deliver, he made sure I knew it.”
Something flickers in his eyes—something heavy and lived-in. You don’t push. Not yet.
You scribble a note before asking, softer this time, “Was that hard for you?”
He pauses. “No,” he says after a moment. “What was hard was unlearning everything I thought I already knew.”
The sentence lands with a thud in your chest.
You nod slowly, tapping your pen against your notebook. “Unlearning can be the hardest part,” you say, and you’re not sure whether you’re talking about figure skating... or each other.
You glance at your next question, fingers tightening slightly around your pen. The rhythm of the interview is shifting—balancing between surface-level poise and the weight of everything that hasn’t been said.
“Your return to Korea has been a hot topic amongst our readers,” you begin, tone level. “It’s been a solid three years since the last time you were in the country for the Winter Olympics. Naturally, people are curious—what brought you back? Especially considering the new season is starting soon.”
Sunghoon leans back in his seat, arms loosely crossed. “I can't give away too many details,” he says, gaze cool but not unkind. “Long story short, I’m in the country for some personal reasons that I'd prefer not to disclose.”
You nod, jotting something down even though it’s barely usable. Your next question hovers on your tongue, heavier than the others. “I see. Well, there have been some rumours… surrounding an altercation with another figure skater—someone else under Coach Morales’ regime. Do you have any comment on that?”
His eyes flick to yours—sharper this time. He doesn’t respond right away. You hear the faint rustle of paper, the soft crunch of his skates shifting on the ice. “Is that part of the interview? Or just personal curiosity?”
You look up at him, your expression unreadable. “Does it matter?”
“Well, I assure you there was no altercation,” he says smoothly. “Just minor disagreements.”
You tilt your head slightly. “Care to elaborate?”
“Not really.”
The tension in the air thickens, more palpable than the chill radiating off the ice behind him.
You clear your throat. “Alright. Then what about your injury? How’s recovery? Two seasons is a long time to disappear. Many fans were concerned when you missed the CS Lombardia Trophy in Italy last year. That was a pretty high-profile absence.”
You don’t even know where that came from. The question is not on your list—not even in the margins. But the words slip out anyway, fuelled by instinct more than intention. A part of you just wants to know. Wants to see if he’ll flinch again, if he’ll tell the truth, if he’s still capable of letting someone in—even if it’s just for a moment.
At first, he’s stoic. But then you see it—the shift in his posture, the twitch of tension in his jaw. He doesn’t deny it. Doesn’t even flinch.
Instead, he says, “That’s not the story you’re here for.”
“Maybe not,” you murmur. “But it’s the one people would care about.”
A long silence stretches between you, taut as a drawn wire. He’s no longer smirking. No longer deflecting. Just staring, as if weighing something inside himself.
“I don’t believe I ever mentioned being injured,” he replies, with a short, hollow laugh. “These rumours get way too out of hand and invasive sometimes, don’t you think, Reporter Kang?”
That tone again—playful on the surface, barbed just beneath.
You lower your pen slowly, your professionalism fraying at the edges. “Look,” you say, voice quieter, firmer. “If you're not going to give me anything to work with, why'd you even say yes to this interview in the first place?”
The recorder is still running. The room is still silent. But something in the air has shifted—subtle, but irreversible. The space between you no longer feels professional. It feels personal.
Not reporter and subject.
Just you and him. Two people orbiting the same history, waiting for someone to say the next honest thing.
He moves first. Exhales through his nose—almost a laugh, but not quite. “You’re still the same.”
“No,” you say softly. “I’m really not.”
He studies you at that, eyes narrowing slightly like he’s trying to read a story written in a language he once knew by heart. “You’re bolder now,” he admits. “Sharper around the edges.”
“And you’ve learnt how to talk like a press release.”
He huffs a short breath, amusement flickering in his eyes. “Comes with the territory.”
“Right. Just a clean-cut, polished professional athlete now.” You tuck a paper into your folder, but your eyes linger on him a moment longer.
Still so familiar. Still so far.
You slide the last paper into your folder, but your hands don’t move to close it. You just sit there, the silence pressing down between you again. Your gaze drops to the recorder, still blinking softly.
“Do you want me to turn it off?” you ask quietly.
Sunghoon doesn’t answer right away. His jaw tenses, like he’s debating something with himself. Then, slowly, he nods.
You reach forward and press the button. The soft click echoes louder than it should.
For a while, neither of you speaks. It’s not awkward, but it’s weighty. Careful. Like standing on a frozen lake, knowing one wrong move could crack the surface.
“I didn’t come back for a sponsorship,” he says eventually, his voice lower than it’s been all day. “Or to prep for the season. Not really.”
You glance up, meeting his eyes.
“I came back because I didn’t know where else to go,” he admits. “I needed to feel... something familiar. Just for a while.”
His fingers tap a slow rhythm against his thigh, a nervous habit you remember well. The same one from when he used to sit beside you during exams, whispering under his breath that he was going to flunk—only to ace the paper every time.
You just nod, not sure how to respond to this sudden vulnerability. Truthfully, throughout your four years of dating, he had never truly let himself be vulnerable in front of you. Not fully.
Sure, you’d seen him tired. You’d seen him frustrated. You’d seen the cracks on the surface when pressure pushed too hard—but he always wore his pride like armour, always bounced back with a smirk or a shrug, always insisted he was fine, even when you knew he wasn’t.
But this—this quiet confession, this barely-audible tremor in his voice—it feels different.
Feels like he's reaching out to you.
And it guts you more than you’d like to admit.
You shift slightly in your seat, unsure if you’re meant to comfort him or just bear witness. “Is that why you said yes to this?” you ask. “To the interview?”
His eyes flick toward you, then away again.
“I wasn’t sure,” he says after a beat. “Maybe I just wanted to see you.”
Your breath catches. The words aren’t said with romantic flourish, not laced with sweetness or longing—but they still land squarely in your chest, knocking something loose.
You don’t know what to say. For once, your head isn’t filled with questions or comebacks. Just the ghost of a hundred conversations you never had, and the echo of all the things that could have been different if either of you had said the honest thing first.
But it’s too late for that now.
You glance down at your folder, lips pressed into a thin line. “Thanks for your time,” you say, and it’s so formal, so distant, it might as well have come from someone else entirely.
"I'm assuming I'll hear from your legal representative if I use any of these in my piece."
Your voice is calm, steady—too steady. The sentence lands like a wall slamming back into place between you, brick by brick. You don’t say it to be cruel. You say it because you need to anchor yourself in something safe, something distant. Because the moment felt too raw, too real, and you don’t know what to do with the part of you that wanted to reach across the table instead of retreat.
Sunghoon stiffens. Just slightly.
“No,” he says after a moment. “You won’t. Off the record’s fine. Not like it matters now, anyway.”
You nod once, curt. “Got it.”
And just like that, the spell breaks. The weight in the room doesn't lift, but it shifts—muted now, buried again beneath layers of detachment and professionalism. The kind you’ve both grown too good at.
You don’t look at him when you stand. Don’t give yourself the chance to. Your hands move on autopilot—closing the recorder, tucking your pen away, zipping your coat with fingers that tremble ever so slightly. And then you’re moving, steps brisk and deliberate, the sound of your boots against the concrete floor too loud in the quiet.
Behind you, you hear nothing.
No apology. No explanation. No plea.
Just silence.
Sunghoon opens his mouth—his hand halfway raised, like he’s about to call your name. But the words never make it past his lips. He watches you go, jaw clenched, the moment slipping through his fingers before he even realises he still wanted to hold onto it.
For him, seeing you again was something he knew he would never truly be prepared for, no matter how many times he rehearsed this conversation in his head. Because you were never a script he could memorise.
You were always unpredictable. Slipping through moments like sand through his fingers—too quick, too sharp, too full of feeling. He remembers how your emotions came in layers—some loud and impulsive, others quiet and impossible to decipher. And maybe that’s what scared him the most.
Because he never quite knew how to meet you where you were.
You made decisions faster than he could process. You said the things he only thought about. And you demanded a kind of presence, a kind of emotional honesty, that he had spent most of his life trying to avoid. A part of him had admired that about you. Another part? It drove him insane.
Now, as your figure disappears through the doors without so much as a backward glance, he feels that same ache blooming in his chest again—familiar and bitter.
He told himself that this would be closure.
But it doesn’t feel like the end. It feels like a page he never finished reading.
And you’re already gone.
You spend the next few hours drafting the profile piece that was supposedly meant to “provide a deeper understanding of the person behind the athlete.” Though with the material you’ve managed to gather, it’s unlikely you’ll even graze the surface.
Whatever. Just give them the Sunghoon they want: the enigmatic comeback king, the prodigy turned recluse turned headline again. You’ll quote his stats, mention his precision, maybe even throw in a poetic metaphor about how the ice has always been his canvas. You’ll do your job. Professionally. Neutrally.
You’ve done harder things. Covered messier stories. Interviewed athletes who could barely string a sentence together. Sat through twelve-hour matches just to get three lines of gold. Writing about Sunghoon, someone you know—knew—should be easier. Right?
Wrong.
So incredibly, painfully wrong.
Because the moment you sit down to outline your first paragraph, every sentence you draft sounds clinical. Distant. Like you’re trying too hard to keep your voice out of it. But your voice is in it. It’s everywhere. Between the lines, in the phrasing, in the careful omission of details only you would know.
You stare at the blinking cursor on your screen like it’s mocking you. Because no matter how objective you try to be, there’s no deleting the fact that the man skating his way back into the spotlight is the same one who once skated straight out of your life.
And now you have to write about him like he’s just another assignment. Like he wasn’t the one story you never really finished.
Still, you’re a professional—and Park Sunghoon is nothing if not a compelling subject. Enigmatic, polished, untouchable. Every photo released of him looks like it’s been run through three rounds of edits and an entire PR team’s approval. His public image is a masterclass in controlled narrative, curated to the last detail, but his backstory remains a blank canvas to most.
Well, not to you.
You have a folder of photos from when he was still just Sunghoon—before the endorsements, before Spain.
Sunghoon also never said you couldn’t dive into his university life. And it’s not like he gave you much to work with anyway.
That’s fair game.
No media-trained responses, no glossy interview clips—just a black hole of the years he spent quietly grinding through lectures and training sessions, tucked far from the spotlight.
To the public, it’s a blank space. But to you? It’s fertile ground. You were there. You knew the version of him who lived off convenience store food and energy drinks, who stayed up late tweaking final projects and icing swollen ankles at the same time. You knew the boy who forgot to reply to emails but remembered to text you good luck before your presentations.
You know the difference between the way he smiles for cameras and the one that used to slip out mid-yawn, when his guard was down. You know the scar above his ankle—not because it’s ever been mentioned in press, but because you were there when he got it, wrapping it in gauze while he hissed through gritted teeth. You know how he taps his fingers when he’s nervous. How he tightens his jaw before speaking truths he doesn't want to admit. How his laugh used to crack in the middle when something really got to him, how his voice used to trip over words when he was excited or flustered—not like the carefully paced cadence he gives the media now.
He may have grown into a mystery, but once upon a time, he was the most knowable person in your life.
So yeah, you dig. Not out of spite. Not exactly. You’re just doing your job. Sourcing old event flyers, class photos, public records, and a few strategically placed emails to former professors and classmates. You tell yourself it’s just research—nothing personal. Just building a fuller picture for the piece. The audience deserves depth. Authenticity. A glimpse of the man behind the athlete.
Besides, it’s not like you’re digging for scandal. You’re just… revisiting old ground.
Still, there's something undeniably sharp about the way your fingers move as you pull up archived yearbooks and student publication blurbs. How your lips twitch at the memory of him stumbling through a group presentation in first-year psych, cheeks red, voice shaking as he tried to explain semiotics with a skating metaphor. The same boy who once dropped his cue cards and muttered, “I’m better on ice, I swear,” to a room that actually laughed with him.
And maybe—just maybe—it wouldn't hurt to slip the story into the draft. Tactfully. Casually. A humanising touch. A reminder to the world that he wasn’t always so untouchable.
You add a line about his time at university, his balancing act between training and lectures, the quiet discipline that preceded his fame. And though it’s not in your style to get sentimental, you let yourself write one soft line, just one:
You keep it sharp. Clean. Balanced. The words come easily, like muscle memory. You stitch together the facts, layer in the charm, and add a sprinkle of speculation where it’s appropriate—just enough to give readers something to chew on. You reference his decorated track record, his quiet re-entry into the spotlight, the way his name is starting to echo through rinks again like a whispered rumour of greatness returning.
You even write about the growing murmur among commentators: that Park Sunghoon might just be gearing up for a full-blown comeback.
Even though he told you—specifically, clearly—that he wasn’t prepping for the season.
But facts don’t sell as well as fantasy. And he’s always been better as a myth than a man.
So you keep your voice light. Objective. Not too close, not too distant. Just enough ambiguity to make it seem like you’re on the outside looking in. Just enough plausible deniability to protect you from the truth threaded beneath every line. You write him like a legend resurrected. Like someone who left the world breathless, disappeared, and is now daring to return.
Before you know it, you're signing it off.
And as you read over the final draft—flawless, well-paced, and entirely detached—you can’t help but feel the faintest pulse of something beneath your skin.
Because this isn’t just a story about Park Sunghoon.
It’s a story about how well you still know him.
And how expertly you’ve learned to pretend you don’t.
You don’t even attempt to read it over another time. You just hit send.
The email whirs off to your editor, and with it, the story. Not the whole one. Not the one you carry in your chest like an old wound. Just the one the world gets to see.
And if he reads it—
Well.
Let him wonder how much of the truth you chose to leave out.
[MANIFESTO EXCLUSIVE] The Ice Doesn’t Melt: A Closer Look at Park Sunghoon’s Return to Korea
By Kang Y/N, Manifesto Daily
Three years since his last appearance on home soil, South Korea’s beloved figure skater Park Sunghoon has returned—not with the fanfare some expected, but with a quiet presence that speaks volumes. After a two-season absence from competitive performance, Park, now 27, has chosen to settle in Seoul again, sparking both curiosity and speculation among fans and professionals alike.
“I needed something familiar,” he said during our brief but telling interview, when asked about his decision to return. He didn’t specify more than that, and true to form, left the rest hanging in the air unsaid.
Park Sunghoon has always been a study in restraint—on and off the ice. From the moment he first captured public attention as a prodigious teen gliding across the rink with terrifying precision, he has maintained an image both pristine and impenetrable. Nicknamed “The Ice Prince” by fans and media alike, Park built a reputation not just on technical skill, but on his ability to keep the world at arm’s length.
His return to Korea comes on the heels of years spent overseas—Spain, to be exact—where he reportedly trained under a discreet but rigorous programme with world renowned Coach Alex Morales.
Park was last seen in competitive skating during the 2023 Grand Prix, where he shocked the world by abruptly withdrawing from the final. At the time, he was considered a strong contender for the gold, making his sudden exit all the more startling. The incident was never formally addressed by his management, and Park himself has avoided discussing it altogether. The silence that followed only fuelled speculation—injury, burnout, conflict—but no answers ever came. Just absence.
Still, those who’ve recently spotted him during early morning solo sessions at the Seoul Ice Arena report that his technique is sharper, cleaner—almost startling in its control. But what truly draws attention is the absence of spectacle. No press conference, no sponsor-driven welcome, no grand statement announcing his intentions. Just quiet re-entry.
“He doesn’t skate like someone preparing for a comeback,” one former coach, who requested anonymity, shared. “He skates like someone trying to remember why he loved it in the first place.”
Yet, it’s not just his time abroad that shaped the man returning now. Long before the endorsements and Olympic buzz, Park had quietly juggled his dual identity as both athlete and student. Few fans are aware that between competition seasons, he completed a degree in media and communication at a local university. Classmates from that time recall him as a quiet presence—always punctual, often reserved, but not unfriendly. He kept to himself for the most part, but those who got close remember his dry humour, his encyclopaedic knowledge of classic film, and a surprising tendency to ramble nervously during group presentations.
“He once tried to explain a semiotic theory using a skating routine as an analogy,” one classmate laughed. “It didn’t make much sense, but he was so earnest about it, we just let him finish. After that, he was known as the ‘semiotic boy’ among our coursemates.”
Those stories paint a softer, more human picture of the man the public still views as near-mythic. But those who knew Park Sunghoon before the spotlight remember someone more boy than myth—equal parts unsure and brilliant, like he hadn’t quite figured out how to carry the weight of his own potential. Just a young man balancing essays and exhibitions. Late-night editing sessions and early morning ice drills.
This return has reignited questions about what Park wants now—what comes after the medals, the global tours, and the silence that followed. His name still commands weight, still trends with the slightest public appearance, yet there’s a noticeable shift in how he carries it. Less prince. More person.
There’s been no official word on whether Park will rejoin the competitive circuit, though murmurs within the skating community suggest he’s been quietly invited to participate in the upcoming 2026 Winter Olympics team tryouts. Whether he intends to accept remains unclear—Park has neither confirmed nor denied the rumours, keeping his future as intentionally unreadable as ever.
And perhaps that’s the story. Not a triumphant return. Not a redemption arc. But presence. The act of being. The quiet audacity of choosing stillness in a world that only ever celebrated his movement.
In many ways, Park Sunghoon remains an enigma. But for those who’ve followed his journey, that isn’t new. What’s new is the version of him that doesn’t seek to melt the ice—but instead, has learned to live with it.
Only time will tell what that means for the future of figure skating’s most elusive son.
“Our dear Y/N, you’ve done it again.”
Applause breaks out the second your foot crosses the threshold of the office. It’s 9 a.m.—too early, too loud, and at least three hours behind the amount of sleep you need to properly function. You blink, trying to place what exactly you’re being celebrated for.
“Bravo. That was an excellent article,” Minju, the team’s ever-enthusiastic publicist, grins as he pats you on the shoulder in passing.
Oh.
That was going out today?
You didn’t even have your morning coffee yet.
By the time you’ve dropped your bag onto your desk and opened your laptop, your inbox is already a mess. The subject lines blur together:
[RE] Manifesto Exclusive – Park Sunghoon IS HE BACK FOR REAL?? The Ice Prince has feelings?? Thank you for this. I cried.
You open a few out of morbid curiosity. Fans are flooding your public inbox with praise, speculation, and—because the internet is the internet—several unsolicited theories about a secret marriage and a love child. Your copy editor, Moka, forwards you one with the subject line: “if he doesn’t want to melt, i’ll melt FOR him.”
On social media, it’s even worse. Or better. You’re not sure yet.
His name is trending. #ParkSunghoon.
Followed closely by #IcePrinceReturns, and the truly cringy #TheColdDoesntBotherHoonAnyway.
Tweets fly across your feed:
@/ice_princess: this article just made me want to lie face down in the snow and whisper Park Sunghoon’s name to the frost
@/manifesto_daily_stan: Kang y/n i’m free on thursday if you want to do god’s work again
@/plscomebackhoon: she said he doesn’t need to melt. he just needs to exist. do you HEAR that??? DO YOU.
You rub your temples, overwhelmed, equal parts proud and terrified. It was just a profile piece. A quiet one. No exposés, no scandals—just a man and the silence he didn’t bother filling.
And somehow, that’s exactly what everyone needed.
Editors are thrilled. Readers are emotional. Former skaters are sharing it. Someone on Twitter even called it “the most human thing written about an athlete in years,” and you don’t know whether to be flattered or panicked.
Because it wasn’t meant to be that personal.
Not really.
And yet—how could it not be?
You told the truth, sure. The visible one. But between the lines, there were pieces of you too. Tiny, hidden echoes of everything you remembered and everything you refused to say. And now it’s out there—immortalised in print and pixels—being consumed by people who will never know what you left out.
You’re halfway through scrolling a tweet thread titled “25 Times Park Sunghoon Looked Like a Heartbroken Studio Ghibli Protagonist” when a new email notification pops up.
From: [email protected] Subject: That Article
You squint.
How... tacky.
You open it, already bracing yourself for either legal threats or sarcasm.
Hey. Took your email off the internet, hope you don't mind. Nice article. Although, I don't think I approved any of those pictures you used in it. Especially the one where I’m mid-blink and look like I just saw God. Bold choice. P.S. You really quoted my classmate calling me “semiotic boy”? That’s... deeply unnecessary.
You stare at the screen, lips twitching despite yourself.
It’s so him—passive-aggressive, smug, and annoyingly charming. The kind of email only Park Sunghoon would send instead of just texting like a normal person.
At the bottom, there’s no sign-off. No best regards, no sincerely, not even a name.
Just one final line, added like an afterthought:
You still overuse em-dashes, by the way.
You exhale a laugh. God, of course he noticed that.
You stare at the screen, blinking. Once. Twice.
Of all the emails you expected today—from eager fans, nosy editors, one conspiracy theorist convinced Sunghoon is a time traveller—this was not on the list.
You lean back in your chair, arms crossed, rereading the message like it might change if you blink hard enough. But no. Still the same. Still signed off with zero punctuation, zero emotion, and 100% Sunghoon.
You scoff.
[email protected]. You can’t get over it. You don’t know what’s worse—the fact that he still uses the nickname he’s allegedly “not fond of,” or the fact that he sent this at 9:46 in the morning, as if he’s just casually emailing his accountant and not the ex-girlfriend who roasted his public persona to poetic effect.
Bold choice, he says.
This, from the man who once wore leather gloves indoors during summer and called it “a vibe.”
And semiotic boy? That quote was gold. If anything, he should be thanking you for making him sound like an emotionally tortured academic with cheekbones.
Still… your fingers hover over the keyboard.
The sensible part of you says to delete it. Or at the very least, archive it and go refill your coffee. You already got your exclusive. You did your job. The story’s out there, and it’s done.
But the curious part of you—the one that still knows how he takes his coffee, still remembers the shape of his laugh—can’t help but wonder what this email really means.
You don’t respond. Not yet.
But you don’t delete it either.
You just stare at the screen, lips pressed together, and whisper to yourself—
"I need a coffee break."
With that, you grab your cardigan, slip on your trainers, and leave the email open on your desktop as if stepping away from it might somehow make it disappear. The air outside bites at your cheeks—crisp, early, and a little too cold for spring. Your mind buzzes more from the lack of sleep than caffeine, and your only plan is to make it to the café on autopilot.
The café is still quiet at this hour, the kind of place where the clinking of ceramic cups and the occasional low murmur of conversation hums like white noise. The bell above the door chimes softly as you enter, and immediately you're greeted by the warm, grounding scent of roasted coffee beans and sugar syrup.
You exhale, shoulders easing slightly when you notice the queue is short. You move toward the counter, already calculating how much espresso you can legally ingest in one sitting, when a voice calls out from the seating area.
“Didn’t get my email?” The tone is casual—annoyingly casual. “Or did you read it and purposely decide not to respond?”
You freeze mid-step.
No way…
You turn, slowly—like you're afraid if you move too fast, the moment will solidify into something real you’re not ready for.
And there he is.
Park Sunghoon.
He’s standing just a few feet away, leaning with practiced ease against the edge of a table like he belongs there, like he hasn’t just completely upended your morning, looking frustratingly well-rested for someone who supposedly prefers early ice sessions. He’s dressed casually—black coat draped over a fitted charcoal jumper, those black-rimmed glasses he used to wear in university when he was trying to be invisible. But he was never very good at that.
His gaze locks with yours—calm, steady, unreadable—and it takes everything in you not to let your expression betray the punch of memory hitting you square in the chest.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you mutter, half under your breath.
“Sorry?” he says, feigning innocence.
“Nothing,” you say quickly, crossing your arms, trying to compose yourself. “Just… surprised...”
“Surprised to see me,” he says, finishing the thought as if he’s been rehearsing it in his head.
“Yeah, at my coffee spot,” you sneer, narrowing your eyes. “What, are you stalking me?”
He gestures lazily toward the table behind him, where a half-drunk latte sits beside a copy of some obscure paperback you’re certain he’s only pretending to read. “I was here first. Technically.”
You smile, tight-lipped, the professional mask slipping neatly into place. “Well, I apologise if you felt like I had something against you. I get thousands of emails every day—your mail must’ve just gotten lost in the flood of junk mail. If it was really that urgent, you could’ve just texted.”
It’s a big, fat lie. You won’t even pretend otherwise. You read it. Multiple times. But you’re not about to give him the satisfaction of knowing that.
His response is immediate. “You changed your number a few years ago. Didn’t leave much choice.”
The way he says it is deliberate, a little too sharp around the edges, like he’s been holding onto that fact longer than he’d care to admit. And what is he implying? That he’s tried contacting you over the years? What for?
You raise an eyebrow. “Right. And instead of, I don’t know, asking your assistant for it—you know, the same assistant I literally emailed last week—you thought it would be less invasive to go digging through old contact forms and hope I still checked my public inbox?”
He shrugs again, shameless. “It was surprisingly easy. And I figured it’d be less awkward than asking someone for it directly.”
You narrow your eyes. “Because nothing says respecting boundaries like showing up at my local café after sending a mildly passive-aggressive email.”
“Oh?” he says, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. “So you did read it?”
“No.”
“Then how’d you know it was passive-aggressive?”
You tilt your head, eyes narrowing just a touch. “Because I know you.”
The silence that follows is dense and immediate, settling between you with the weight of everything left unsaid. It hums beneath the chatter of the café, a fragile thread stretched so tight that you swear it might snap if either of you so much as blinked wrong.
Then, mercifully, the barista calls out for the next person in line—that’s you.
You move instinctively toward the counter, but before you can even begin to open your mouth, he’s already there, casually stepping beside you.
“Long black,” Sunghoon says, voice smooth as ever. “Make it a double shot.”
You turn your head slowly, eyes wide. “You remember my order.”
He doesn’t flinch. “Some things are hard to forget. Especially if it's the most atrocious coffee order known to mankind.”
And just like that, you’re thrown. Not by the gesture, but by the way he says it—like it means something. Like maybe he's not just here to pester you about emails and profile photos. Like maybe there’s something else behind those carefully guarded eyes.
But you're not ready to unpack that. Not here. Not now.
So instead, you nod stiffly, and say nothing.
Not because you have nothing to say—
But because you know, with Park Sunghoon, even the smallest word might start something you’re not sure you’re ready to finish.
You’re still reeling from the fact that he remembers minuscule details—like the exact way you take your coffee—when he casually steps in front of you and pays for it before you can even open your mouth to protest.
“You didn’t have to,” you say, surprised but keeping your voice neutral.
He waves it off, already pocketing the receipt like it’s no big deal. “Still have no idea how you even drink that shit,” he mutters, eyeing the dark brew with a look of theatrical disgust. “But consider it a compliment. For the article. It was… good.”
You glance up at him over the rim of your cup as you take your first sip, letting the heat hit your hands before the taste even registers. “Just good?”
He shrugs, nonchalant, but there’s a flicker of amusement in his eyes. “You didn’t use my best angles.”
You pause, lips curving slightly. “Oh, don’t worry,” you reply smoothly. “I’m saving those for the next feature: Park Sunghoon’s Top 10 Most Smug Expressions.”
That earns a laugh from him—genuine and unguarded—and it catches you off guard. Not the manufactured chuckle he gives in interviews. Not the polite, PR-approved smile. This is real. Honest. The kind of laugh you haven’t heard in years, the kind that used to sneak up on you in moments that felt weightless.
It hits you like hearing a song you forgot you loved—familiar and warm, laced with a nostalgia you weren’t ready for. A reminder of the version of him that existed before all the distance, before the silences, before the press statements and polished answers.
You don’t say anything in response. Just shoot him a look over the rim of your cup. A quiet don’t push it.
He meets your gaze, and for a beat, neither of you speaks. Then he nods, like he understands exactly what you’re not saying.
And somehow, that nod feels like the most honest thing exchanged between you all morning.
You’re back at your desk, the café detour doing little to clear your head. The email is still open, still flashing on your screen like it’s waiting—mocking you, almost. You stare at it for a long moment, fingers hovering over the keyboard.
You shouldn’t. You don’t need to. But something in you itches to respond anyway.
So you do.
From: You Subject: Re: That Article Hey. Glad you thought the article was good. I’ll be sure to file that glowing endorsement under “career highlights.” Also, I stand by the photos. Especially the one where you blinked mid-sentence—you looked relatable for once. Anyway. Thanks for the coffee. – Y/N P.S. Don’t ambush me at my local café again. Only if it’s urgent: +82 XX XXXX YYYY
Sunghoon is lying on his couch, one arm draped over his eyes to block out the soft afternoon light filtering through the curtains, the other still loosely holding his phone against his chest. The café encounter from earlier keeps playing in his mind on a slow, involuntary loop—your face, your voice, the way your brows lifted when you saw him, and especially that look you gave him when he ordered your coffee like he had any right to still know that.
He knows he probably shouldn’t have emailed. The moment he hit send, there was a part of him that regretted it. But then again, he’s never been particularly good at letting things go quietly—not when it comes to you. Not when the silence between you has always felt more like a wound than a clean break.
It’s been years since the breakup. Long enough, he thinks, that you should both be able to function like civil adults. Maybe not friends, but at least... acquaintances. Whatever that word means when it’s wrapped in history and the kind of silence that’s never quite neutral.
His phone buzzes once against his chest, and he lifts it almost automatically—more out of habit than hope, not expecting much. Maybe a curt response, a one-liner soaked in professionalism, something non-committal that closes the loop without opening any new ones.
But what he finds isn’t quite that.
His eyes skim the message quickly the first time, catching on your usual clipped humour, your dry phrasing. Then he sees the P.S.—and it stops him cold.
Don’t ambush me at my local café again. Only if it’s urgent: +82 XX XXXX YYYY
He stares at the line, the digits at the end anchoring his attention. His thumb hovers over the screen, then lowers.
He reads it again. Then again.
It takes him a moment to process that you didn’t just reply—you invited a reply. Not in so many words, but you didn’t have to.
He blinks, the message still glowing softly in the palm of his hand, and feels something shift—subtle, but undeniable.
You had tried to play it off with that line—“only if it’s urgent”—like it was a formality, a throwaway detail tossed in for the sake of convenience. But Sunghoon knows you better than that.
You don’t do anything without intention.
Even back then, when things were good, your words were measured—never careless. Whether it was drafting an essay or choosing what to say during a fight, you always calculated the weight of your words before you let them go. He used to admire that about you, even when it frustrated him. Especially when it frustrated him.
So no, he doesn’t believe the number was a casual addition. Not from you. Not after all this time. You wanted him to see it. You wanted him to know.
He sits up slowly, the email still open in his hand, thumb brushing absentmindedly over the edge of the screen. For a second, he considers calling. Just to hear your voice again—to see if it sounds any different now that everything between you has changed.
But he doesn’t.
Instead, he just quietly saves the number into his contacts—Y/N, no emojis, no titles. Just your name, plain and familiar, like it’s never really left his phone at all.
His thumb hovers for a moment as the screen confirms the entry, and then he leans back, eyes flicking toward the ceiling, letting his mind wander—almost involuntarily—through an absurd list of scenarios.
He snorts softly.
What counts as urgent, exactly?
Would “it was raining and thought of you” qualify? Or maybe, “accidentally bought your favourite chips at the convenience store and they’re expiring tomorrow”?
His mouth twitches at the thought, the corner of a smile he doesn’t let fully form.
He’s not going to reach out—not tonight. Whatever this fragile, undefined space is between you now, he doesn’t want to risk crowding it too soon. He knows better than to force something still learning how to exist.
But the number is there now, quietly saved, tucked away like a folded letter waiting for the right moment to be opened. And that—simple as it is—is more than he had before.
So he stays where he is, stretched across the quiet of his apartment, letting the silence linger—not as a weight, but as something strangely tender. Something almost sacred. Because it no longer feels like the end of something.
It feels like the pause before a beginning.
And he waits.
Just like you did for him all those years ago.
The airport is chaos, as airports always are—the dull roar of overlapping conversations, the mechanical drawl of flight announcements overhead, the clatter of suitcase wheels rolling over the slick, polished floors. But somehow, in the middle of it all, it feels like there’s a bubble around the two of you, a quiet space carved out by the sheer force of everything you’re not saying.
Sunghoon stands a few feet away from the security gate, backpack slung over one shoulder, his boarding pass crumpled slightly in his hand from how tightly he’s holding it. Mr and Mrs Park are with him, tearfully fussing over their son—Mrs Park tugging at the hem of the jacket that's too big for him, hanging awkwardly off his frame in a way that makes him look both older and younger at the same time—like he’s already halfway into another life and trying to pretend he isn’t scared.
You stand nearby too, arms crossed—not out of defiance, but because it’s the only way you can keep yourself from falling apart. You don’t trust your hands otherwise.
When Sunghoon finally turns to you, you force yourself to smile.
“You’ll do great,” you say, forcing your voice to stay steady even though the lump in your throat makes it hard to breathe.
He smiles at that—a soft, tired thing that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
“I don’t know about that,” he says, laughing under his breath, glancing down at his shoes like the words he really wants to say are hiding somewhere in the scuffed leather.
Your heart twists painfully at the sight.
And then he steps closer, close enough that you have to tilt your head back to look at him properly, close enough that you can see every crease of worry etched into his usually smooth expression.
“Can you…” he starts, then falters, running a hand through his hair the way he always does when he’s nervous. “Will you wait for me?”
The words hang between you, raw and clumsy and completely un-Sunghoon-like. No flourish. No ice. Just a boy asking for something he doesn’t know how to promise in return.
You look at him then—not the rising athlete, not the polished skater everyone else sees—but the boy who once spent three hours helping you build a wobbly IKEA desk, who remembered exactly how you take your coffee, who mumbled useless astronomy facts at two in the morning when neither of you could sleep.
And you nod.
Because how could you say no?
“Of course,” you say.
He exhales, and for a moment, it looks like he wants to say something more—something that could make this easier, something that could anchor you to the idea that this distance will be temporary, survivable. But whatever it is, he swallows it down.
Instead, he squeezes your hand once, quick and clumsy, like he’s afraid that if he holds on any longer, he won’t be able to let go at all.
Then he steps back. One step. Two. The space between you widens in a way that feels irreversible.
You stand there, rooted to the spot, as he turns toward the security line, his figure blending into the tide of travellers wheeling suitcases and juggling passports. He doesn't look back, and you tell yourself that’s a good thing—that it’s easier this way.
You don’t realise you’re holding your breath until his silhouette finally disappears around a corner, swallowed up by the sterile white lights and directional signs pointing toward Departures.
Only then do you let yourself breathe out, shaky and slow.
The airport continues moving around you—announcements, crying babies, the low thrum of engines preparing to carry people across oceans—but somehow, it feels like everything inside you has stilled. Like the moment he walked away, something small and quiet inside you went with him.
You watch another plane lift off in the distance, disappearing into the clouds. And even after his parents insists you go home, you stay a little longer, long enough for the ache to settle, long enough to be sure you won’t cry until you’re safely back in the taxi home. Pretending that saying “of course” didn’t cost you more than you could admit at the time.
Because if there’s one thing you promised him, and yourself, it’s that you would be strong enough to wait.
Except you didn’t know what waiting would mean at that time.
You were confident this long-distance thing could work.
After all, at that point, you and Sunghoon had been dating for over three years. You knew each other’s routines, each other’s moods, each other’s silences. You had weathered exams, competitions, internships, stupid fights about stupid things—surely, you thought, an ocean between you couldn’t undo what you had built.
You believed that love, real love, was supposed to be enough.
But love, you will learn, isn’t always louder than distance.
And sometimes, people leave—not because they stop loving you, but because their dreams need a bigger sky than you can give them.
You told yourself the time difference was just an inconvenience. That the occasional missed calls, the shorter texts, the longer silences were normal. That he was just busy. Tired. Adjusting.
And for a while, you made it work.
You sent each other photos—your morning coffee, his late-night practices. You had clumsy video calls where the signal dropped and you’d laugh and call each other back like it was no big deal. You celebrated tiny victories over Wi-Fi connections, reassured yourselves that the months would pass quickly, that this was temporary.
You even started saving for plane tickets, bookmarking dates and circling holidays on your calendar, telling anyone who asked that yes, it was hard, but yes, it was worth it.
You meant it.
You meant every word.
But what they don’t tell you about long distance—the thing you only learn the hard way—is that sometimes love isn’t enough when the other person starts building a life you’re no longer part of in the daily, ordinary ways. When your names are still tied together but your days stop overlapping. When missing someone becomes part of your routine instead of your exception.
And Sunghoon—sweet, steady, ambitious Sunghoon—was chasing a dream that required all of him.
There wasn’t much left over.
Not for you. Not for the late-night phone calls he stopped picking up. Not for the promises that started to stretch thinner and thinner until they broke without either of you realising it at first.
You waited.
You waited longer than you should have.
And even now, some stubborn, aching part of you still remembers how sure you were at that airport when you said, of course.
Because you weren’t just waiting for him to come back. You were waiting for the version of him that left—to stay the same.
But some things, you’ve learned, aren’t meant to be held in place.
And some people, no matter how tightly you hold onto them, will always belong to a future you don’t get to walk into with them.
Now, sitting at your desk, staring at the faint glow of the monitor, you can’t help but drag a hand over your face in frustration. God. What was I thinking?
You lean back in your chair, the cheap leather groaning under the movement, and close your eyes for a moment, wishing you could rewind the last ten minutes and snatch the email back before it left your outbox. Before it could make you look like the fool you swore you wouldn’t be again.
Because re-reading it now, all you can see is desperation threaded between the lines. You might as well have stamped please still care about me in bold at the bottom.
You told yourself it was nothing. A witty reply. A polite thanks for the coffee. A number offered up casually—as if you wouldn’t notice whether he used it or not.
But you know better.
And so would he.
The truth is, no matter how many years have passed, no matter how much you've convinced yourself you've moved on, a part of you still folds too easily around him. Still softens at the memory of a boy who once asked you to wait for him, and the girl you were—the one foolish enough to believe that waiting would be enough.
You hate that about yourself sometimes. Hate that a few casual words from him, a coffee, an email, still have the power to make you feel like you’re standing in that airport all over again, arms crossed against your chest, watching him walk away.
You open your eyes, exhaling slowly. The office hums around you—phones ringing, fingers tapping on keyboards, Yunah shouting about deadlines across the bullpen—and you’re struck by how absurd it is that your life has continued without him, and yet he still feels like an unfinished chapter you never really closed.
You tell yourself it’s fine. That he’ll probably ignore the number. That he’ll chalk it up to courtesy and leave it at that.
But deep down, you know it’s too late for pretending.
Because no matter how you dress it up—witty, polite, indifferent—you handed him a door. And now, whether he steps through it or not, you’ll have to live with the fact that you opened it first.
The days pass, slow and uneven, the way they always do when you’re waiting for something you’re trying to pretend you’re not waiting for.
You throw yourself into work—churning out profiles, editing pieces that aren’t yours, picking up assignments nobody else wants just to fill the spaces in your mind. You sit through endless editorial meetings, nodding at all the right moments, scribbling half-hearted notes in the margins of your planner like it matters. You grab late-night convenience store dinners with Minju and Yunah, laughing at their jokes even when your chest feels hollow.
You live.
You function.
You check your email more often than necessary, always under the excuse of work, even though you know exactly what you’re hoping to find. You flick through your phone sometimes too—half-scrolling through newsfeeds, half-wondering if maybe, just maybe, there’ll be a notification that isn’t there.
But Sunghoon doesn’t reply. No email. No text. No missed call.
Nothing.
And slowly, inevitably, you start to fold the hope away. The way you fold an old jumper you know you’ll never wear again but can’t quite bring yourself to throw out.
You told him he could reach out only if it was urgent. And clearly, you’re not urgent.
Maybe you never were.
And you take it as a sign—maybe the only sign you’re going to get—that you should finally do yourself a favour and move on.
Because apparently, you haven’t. Not really. Not after all this time. You didn’t expect his return to unravel you like this—to pull at threads you thought you had stitched up long ago. But it has. And you can’t pretend anymore.
So you’ll move on for real this time. Not the half-hearted version where you paste on smiles and throw yourself into late nights at the office, where you tell your friends you’re fine while secretly checking your phone at red lights, while pretending you don’t still wonder if he thinks about you too. Not the kind where you fold the memory of him into smaller, quieter compartments of your mind, pretending it's just nostalgia, not hope.
No, this time, you tell yourself, it will be the real kind—the clean break, the neat ending.
And for a while, you almost believe it.
Until your phone buzzes, cutting through the quiet.
Just a single, unremarkable vibration against the desk, one you almost ignore—because it’s late, because you’re tired, because you’re used to the world asking for pieces of you at all hours now. You glance at the screen without thinking, already preparing to swipe it away like a dozen other notifications.
But then you see it.
Unknown Number.
For a moment, your brain stalls, fumbling for a rational explanation—maybe it’s a delivery update, maybe it’s a scam, maybe it’s one of those automated text from some subscription you forgot to cancel.
Still, your hand moves on instinct, betraying every rational excuse you try to conjure.
You unlock your phone.
And you read:
Hey. It’s me. Not sure if this counts as urgent. But... I saw something today that made me think of you. Do you have time?
Your breath catches in your throat, sharp and sudden, and the world around you blurs for a second—the hum of fluorescent lights overhead, the muffled buzz of printers, the distant tap-tap-tap of someone typing across the office—all of it fading under the weight of those few simple lines.
You read it again. And again. As if the words might rearrange themselves into something else if you look long enough.
But they don’t.
It’s him. Sunghoon.
Reaching out not because he had to. Not because it was "urgent."
But because he thought of you.
And even though your mind races ahead with every reason you should be cautious, with every reminder of how long it took to rebuild the parts of yourself he once splintered, you already know—deep in your chest, in the place you don't let logic touch—that you’re going to answer.
You don’t let yourself overthink it this time.
No typing, erasing, retyping. No staring at the blinking cursor until it mocks you into silence. You just move your thumbs over the screen, letting instinct take the lead before the part of you that’s scared has a chance to intervene.
You type:
You: You should probably introduce yourself next time. "It’s me" doesn’t really help if I don’t already know how you text. And depends. Is it something worth hearing about?
You barely have time to set your phone down before it buzzes again.
Sunghoon: Definitely something worth hearing about.
Another message follows almost instantly:
Sunghoon: I’m free tonight if you are. Just coffee. Nothing crazy. If you want. There's also a favour I'd like to ask.
You sit there, blinking at the last line, reading it twice as your mind scrambles to catch up.
A favour?
It throws you off more than the coffee invitation itself. Coffee is easy—coffee is surface-level, casual, the kind of thing you can chalk up to old acquaintances being civil. But a favour? A favour means intention. A favour means he’s thought about this. About you.
Your fingers hover over the keyboard, your pulse quickening in that annoyingly familiar way you wish you had outgrown by now. You’re not naive enough to think this is anything more than it is. He probably just needs help connecting with someone, getting a contact, maybe even needs something for the press if he’s easing back into the public eye.
Still, a part of you hesitates.
Not because you don’t want to go. But because you’re not sure if you trust yourself not to want more.
You take a breath, steadying your thumb over the screen.
You type:
You: Where and what time?
The message sends before you can talk yourself out of it, and you drop your phone onto the desk, face down again, like it’s too hot to hold onto for even a second longer. You exhale a long, slow breath, staring up at the ceiling, trying to calm the restless beat of your heart.
Because tonight, you realise, you’re going to see him again.
Not as professionals. Not as a lingering what-if. Not as a name floating in your inbox or coincidental meetings.
But real. Present.
And no matter how much you tell yourself that you’re ready—that you’re different now—you know a part of you is still bracing for impact.
Sunghoon arrives at the café first.
It’s your spot—he knows that now. He also knows you probably don’t come here because the coffee is any good—you always made that clear with a scrunched nose and a dry comment about “caffeine being caffeine”—but because it’s close, convenient, easy to fold into your day without having to think too hard.
He settles into a table near the window, where the soft spill of the sunset stretches across the tabletop in muted golds and pinks. He sits with his backpack slung over the back of the chair, a cup of hot tea resting untouched in front of him, and for a brief moment, he looks less like the man you’ve been writing about—and more like the boy you used to know.
He wasn't a hundred percent sure you'd say yes to meeting him. When he sent that message, part of him assumed it would disappear into the void, swallowed up by everything unsaid between you.
But you answered. And you did in the way you always did—dry, sharp, a little guarded—but underneath it all, you answered.
And now, sitting here in this too-bright, too-loud café with a lukewarm tea and a racing heart he can’t fully rationalise, Sunghoon feels the weight of it settle in his chest.
He glances at the door again, even though he knows it’s still early. His knee bounces under the table, betraying the nervous energy he can’t shake, no matter how carefully he tries to hide it under indifference.
Maybe tonight won’t fix anything. Hell, it’s not meant to.
But you’re showing up.
And somehow, that already feels like more than he deserves.
The bell above the door chimes, sharp and familiar, cutting through the low hum of conversation and clinking cups.
Sunghoon looks up almost instinctively—and there you are, stepping into the café with a kind of restless energy tucked into the set of your shoulders, like you’re already bracing yourself for something you can’t name yet.
You don’t see him at first.
Of course you don’t.
Because out of pure, unconscious instinct, you’re scanning the corners of the café—the tucked-away tables, the quieter spots shielded from the main crowd—just like you always used to.
Sunghoon feels a tight tug in his chest, something that pulls and aches all at once, because he remembers.
He remembers how you used to tease him for always choosing the seats against the wall, how you said he acted like a cat looking for the best vantage point, somewhere he could see everything without being seen himself.
He remembers you pretending to sulk when he dragged you to the corner booths instead of the bright window seats you preferred—and how, secretly, you never really minded.
And now, without even thinking, you’re still looking for him in the places where you remember him being.
And without even realising, he had chosen a place where he remembered you liking.
He doesn’t call out to you.
He just watches.
Watches the slight purse of your lips when you don’t spot him right away. Watches the way your fingers tap lightly against the strap of your bag—an old nervous habit he’d forgotten he remembered—like your body is leaking out the anxiety you refuse to show on your face.
And God, you look—
You look pretty.
Not in the polished, deliberate way people try to look when they know they’re being watched.
You look real.
Soft in the fading light, like the world around you hasn’t quite caught up to you yet. Your hair a little mussed from the breeze outside, your cheeks flushed with the leftover heat of the setting sun. There’s a quietness to you, a rawness—like you’re still made of the same stubborn hope and sharp edges he used to love, except time has worn them softer, gentler, more dangerous in ways he doesn’t even have the words for.
You look like a memory he’s been trying not to miss.
You look like the version of you he’s been carrying around all these years—
Real. Tired, maybe. A little guarded. But still luminous in a way he can’t describe without sounding ridiculous, without pulling old, unfinished feelings up from the place he thought he’d buried them for good.
Something shifts in his chest, painful and sweet all at once.
Because in the handful of minutes he’s spent sitting here convincing himself to stay calm, convincing himself that this was just coffee and nothing more—you’ve walked through the door and reminded him, without trying, exactly why forgetting you had never really been an option.
He straightens slightly in his chair, the leg of the table bumping softly against his knee.
And for a moment—just a moment—Sunghoon forgets why he’s here at all.
You shift your weight from one foot to the other, adjusting the strap of your bag on your shoulder, scanning the café with a quiet frown starting to settle between your brows.
Sunghoon watches the hesitation flicker across your face—the way you linger a fraction too long at every corner booth, the way your fingers brush nervously against the hem of your jacket, like you’re grounding yourself without even realising it.
And then—finally—your gaze catches his.
The moment stretches, taut and delicate, like a held breath.
You blink, as if to double-check it’s really him. Your lips part slightly in surprise, a faint hitch of breath visible even from where he’s sitting, and for a second, neither of you moves, both suspended in that thin, brittle space where time slows down just enough to make you feel the weight of it.
You glance at the window beside him, your eyes catching the reflection of the streetlights bleeding into the glass, and for a moment, confusion flickers briefly across your face.
That’s why you didn’t spot him immediately when you walked in.
You weren’t looking by the windows—you never had to.
Sunghoon never sat there. He hated it. Hated having his back exposed, hated being on display. You’d spent years weaving through crowded cafés and restaurants, instinctively scanning the corners, the quiet spaces tucked away from the flow of people, because that’s where he would always be—where he could watch without being watched, where the world couldn’t reach him unless he let it.
But tonight, he’s here.
By the window.
Plain as day.
And without him saying a word about it, you realise it—another small, unconscious version of Park Sunghoon you were still holding onto without even realising it.
A version you thought was set in stone, carved into your memories.
A version you never prepared yourself to outgrow.
Sunghoon doesn’t smile. He doesn’t look away.
He just meets your gaze head-on, steady and quiet, letting the moment settle between you without rushing to fill it with anything easy or safe.
You square your shoulders after a heartbeat too long, forcing your body into motion, and start making your way towards him. Your steps are measured, careful, almost cautious, but there’s no mistaking the way your fingers clench slightly against the strap of your bag, no hiding the guarded look in your eyes that says you’re still ready to turn around and walk away if this goes wrong.
He stays seated as you approach, watching you close the distance between you, something tight and aching lodged in his chest, something he’s too afraid to name yet.
When you reach the table, you don’t sit down right away.
You just stand there, staring at him for a moment longer, as if trying to gauge how much of the boy you used to love is still sitting there, underneath the polished surface he’s learned to wear like a second skin.
Sunghoon clears his throat lightly, a small, awkward sound that feels jarringly loud in the otherwise soft hum of the café.
“You found me,” he says, voice low and almost shy, like he's not sure if he's allowed to sound relieved.
You shrug, shifting your weight onto your other foot. “Didn’t think you’d make it so easy,” you reply, your tone light, almost teasing, but there’s no real bite behind the words—just a tired kind of fondness that feels too familiar, too stubborn to shake.
And just like that, some of the tension splinters—
Not all of it.
Not enough to call this easy.
But enough to remind both of you why you’re here.
Wordlessly, you pull out the chair across from him and sit down, setting your bag carefully by your feet.
Sunghoon’s hand twitches slightly against his cup, the tea inside long cold by now, but he doesn’t seem to notice.
You fold your hands in your lap, lift your chin just a little, and say, “Alright. You’ve got my time. Let’s hear it.”
“You’re not even curious what reminded me of you?” Sunghoon asks, one brow lifted, his voice dipping into that familiar, teasing cadence you used to know so well.
Of course you’re curious. Of course your mind has been spinning endless possibilities from the second you read his first text. But you’re not about to hand that over to him so easily—not when you’re still trying to convince yourself you’re not sitting here half-holding your breath.
You lean back slightly in your chair, crossing one leg over the other in an easy, breezy posture you absolutely don’t feel, and shrug. “What reminded the oh-so-charismatic Ice Prince of me?”
The corner of his mouth lifts into a smirk—the same infuriating, boyish smirk that once had the power to completely undo you, the one you thought time and bitterness would have dulled. It hasn’t. Not even a little.
He doesn’t say anything right away.
Instead, he reaches into the inside pocket of his coat, moving slowly, drawing out the suspense just because he knows it’ll get under your skin.
When he pulls out a small box and sets it gently on the table between you, you blink down at it in surprise.
It’s a Popmart blind box.
The exact kind you used to collect like trophies after long study sessions or bad days, back when you needed small, ridiculous joys to get you through.
You stare at the familiar design, the cutesy pastel art printed on the cardboard, the gleaming plastic seal still unbroken—and for a second, it’s like the years peel away and you’re back in a different time, a different version of yourself. One who used to drag Sunghoon to random mall kiosks and lecture him on the probability rates of getting the secret rare figure, completely oblivious to how patient he was being with you.
He watches your reaction carefully, elbows propped lazily on the table, but his eyes are sharp—searching.
“You’re kidding,” you murmur, finally breaking the silence, your voice somewhere between disbelief and something softer, something a little too close to fondness.
He shrugs, that infuriating smirk deepening. “Saw it at a convenience store on my way to practice this morning.”
You shake your head, the smallest, almost unwilling laugh slipping out of you. “You used to roast me for buying these.”
“And yet,” he says, tapping the box lightly with one finger, “I bought one almost every time I passed that Popmart near my place. For research purposes, obviously.”
You roll your eyes, but you can’t fight the smile pulling at your lips, nor the way your chest tightens at the thought of it—him, in another city, another life, still thinking of you in the small, quiet ways that mattered when words weren’t enough.
For a moment, neither of you says anything. The box sits between you, unopened, full of some stupid, mass-produced trinket that somehow feels heavier than anything else in the room.
You glance up at him, and he’s already looking at you—not with expectation, not with the smugness you were half-braced for—but with something quieter. Something careful.
“Thank you,” you say, the words slipping out before you can overthink them, barely more than a whisper, but somehow steady. It’s the only thing you can conjure in the moment, the only thing that feels honest and real enough to offer. You’re a little surprised you manage to say it out loud at all, your throat tight with all the other things you’re not ready to admit.
Sunghoon leans back in his chair, his eyes bright with something that looks dangerously close to amusement as he tilts his head at you.
“It’s the least you could say,” he teases, tapping the box again with his fingertip, “after I spent almost twenty dollars on that.”
The exaggerated grumble in his voice cracks the tension like a hairline fracture, and before you can stop yourself, a laugh escapes your lips—short, surprised, but real.
The sound of it seems to hit him harder than you expect.
For a second, he just stares at you, like he’s been momentarily stunned, like some long-frozen part of him is trying to remember how to breathe properly.
And if you weren’t so caught up in trying to pull your own defences back into place, you might have noticed the way his posture softens, just slightly, as if the laugh is something fragile he’s afraid of shattering.
You smirk, shaking your head as you reach out and nudge the box with two fingers, sliding it just slightly toward you.
“You bought this to bribe me into helping you with that favour, didn’t you?” you say, lifting your gaze to meet his fully now, your voice laced with teasing accusation but your heart still hammering too hard against your ribs.
He has the audacity to look mock-offended, clutching his chest like you’ve wounded him. “Bribe?” he echoes. “Wow. No faith in me at all.”
“You literally showed up with a Popmart like some kind of peace offering-slash-negotiation tactic,” you point out, arching an eyebrow.
“And yet…” he trails off, a slow grin tugging at his mouth, “you’re still sitting here. You’re still talking to me.”
You roll your eyes, but you can’t help the way the corner of your mouth betrays you, tilting upward just enough for him to catch it.
He sees it.
Of course he does.
And somewhere, buried deep under the layers of sarcasm and half-healed scars, you know he feels it too—the tiny, reckless flicker of something that neither of you is quite brave enough to name yet.
“So?” you prompt, your fingers idly tracing the rim of the coffee cup in front of you, the casualness in your voice a little too forced even to your own ears.
Sunghoon shifts in his seat, the easy smirk fading just slightly as he straightens, as if the weight of what he’s about to say demands a little more gravity.
“I wanted to ask if you could help me write another article,” he says, the words slow and deliberate, like he’s weighing each one carefully before letting it leave his mouth.
You blink, surprised but trying not to show it. “What about?”
He leans back, exhales once through his nose, and says it:
“I’m going to be participating in the Olympic tryouts.”
The announcement hits harder than you expect, knocking the air from your lungs for half a second. You sit up a little straighter, your mind racing to process it, because the last time you talked he was adamant he wasn’t preparing for the season. He said it so easily, so convincingly, that you hadn’t thought to press harder.
Sunghoon must catch the flicker of confusion across your face, because he adds quickly, almost defensively, “It’s not a comeback. Not really.”
You narrow your eyes slightly. “What do you mean?”
He pauses.
You can see it—the hesitation. The way his shoulders tense just the slightest bit, the way he looks down at his hands like the answer is written somewhere in the faint lines of his palms.
“I—” he starts, then stops, chewing the inside of his cheek in frustration. His fingers curl lightly against the table, the same nervous tic he’s had since he was a teenager trying to explain why he bombed a practice session.
“I just need you to write the article for me,” he says instead, voice softer now, almost tentative. “Please?”
Here’s the thing about Sunghoon.
He’s always been good at giving you just enough—just enough smiles, just enough softness, just enough quiet promises without ever saying the words aloud—to make you feel like maybe, just maybe, there was something sturdy here.
Something real.
Something worth holding onto.
And then, just when you reached for it, just when you let yourself believe you were on solid ground, he would pull back.
Carefully.
Effortlessly.
Leaving you standing there, empty-handed, wondering if you were the one who had leaned in too far, if you had asked for too much, if you had misread all of it from the start.
It wasn’t cruelty.
It was worse than cruelty.
It was kindness, just enough to hurt. Just enough to make you doubt whether it was ever real.
You lean back slightly, arms crossing over your chest, not because you want to be defensive but because you need the distance, need something to ground you against the sudden rush of old feelings. “Why me?” you ask, genuinely. “The last time I wrote something for you, you were too busy complaining about the photos I used to actually say thank you.”
It’s a weak jab, but you both know the real question you’re asking has nothing to do with photos.
It’s why now?
It’s why me, when you could have gone to anyone else?
Sunghoon meets your gaze without flinching, his expression surprisingly earnest.
“Because,” he says simply, “I trust you.”
You open your mouth to say something—something sarcastic, something to deflect—but he cuts you off before you can.
“I trust that you won’t spin this into something else. I trust that you’ll tell it the way it is. Not the way people want to hear it. Not the way the sponsors or the federations want it dressed up.” His voice stays calm, but there’s something raw underneath it, something that edges dangerously close to vulnerability. “Just… the truth. That’s all I want.”
You stare at him across the table, your fingers curling slightly around the rim of your cup, and for a moment, you don't say anything. You just sit there, letting the request hang in the air between you, heavy and trembling like a thread pulled too tight.
Part of you—the part that's bruised and still sore from all the years of learning the hard way—wants to say no. Wants to lean back in your chair, laugh it off, tell him to hire a better PR team like every other professional athlete with something to prove. Wants to remind him, and maybe yourself, that you’re not the same girl who would have dropped everything the moment he asked.
Because you know better now. You know how this story goes. You say yes, you step closer, you open the door just a crack—and he slips through, quietly, effortlessly, until you're standing in the wreckage again, wondering how you didn’t see it coming.
But another part of you—the stubborn part, the hopeful part you haven't managed to kill off no matter how hard you've tried—can’t quite look away from him. From the way he’s sitting there, tension riding his shoulders, fingers tapping a restless rhythm against his cup. From the way he asked—no bravado, no posturing, just a simple, almost clumsy honesty that feels so rare you almost don't know what to do with it.
You glance toward the window, watching the way the last blush of sunset catches against the glass, and for a moment you imagine what it would feel like to say yes.
Not because you owe him. Not because you’re chasing the past.
But because, somewhere deep down, you still believe in telling stories the way they deserve to be told.
You still believe some promises are worth making again, even if it terrifies you.
Your stomach twists, your chest aching with the sharpness of it, but you find yourself already knowing the answer before your mouth even moves.
You inhale slowly, letting the silence stretch for just a beat longer than necessary, then exhale through your nose, pushing aside the complicated tangle of feelings you don't have the energy to unravel tonight.
"Fine," you say at last, voice even, businesslike, like you're trying to convince both of you that this is just another assignment and not something heavier slipping under your skin. "Get your assistant to email me the details. I’ll personally send over the draft before pushing it to the editorial team."
You reach for your cup as you say it, needing something to do with your hands, something to anchor yourself to this new line you’re drawing in the sand.
But before you can even take a sip, Sunghoon leans forward slightly, resting his forearms on the table, his expression soft but firm in a way that pins you in place more effectively than anything else could.
“Don't bother,” he says simply. “You can just publish it directly.”
You pause, the cup poised halfway to your mouth, his words hanging there between you like an invisible thread you’re not sure you want to pull. You lower the cup slowly, setting it back down against the saucer with a faint clink, buying yourself a second to think. To breathe. To understand.
You search his face for the catch, for the usual hesitation he so often laced into moments like this—those little cracks where you could see him calculating the safest move, the one that let him stay just close enough without ever being vulnerable.
But this time, there’s none of that. Just him, sitting there, arms folded over the table, looking at you like he’s already decided.
"Are you sure?" you ask, the words slipping out lighter than you feel them. "No proofread? No management red flags?"
Sunghoon’s lips twitch into a smile—small, wry, but not mocking. If anything, he looks... relieved that you asked. Like he was expecting the pushback, maybe even hoping for it, because it means you’re still cautious enough to take this seriously.
"I’m sure," he says simply.
A muscle ticks once in your jaw, the urge to press further bubbling up, but you force yourself to stop. And in it’s place, a lump forms in your throat, sharp and unexpected, because if there’s one thing you didn’t expect to find tonight—certainly not here, not like this—it was trust.
Not just trust in your professionalism. Not just trust in your writing.
Trust in you.
Because whatever else has changed, you can feel it: This matters to him.
Not the article. Not the media coverage.
This.
Reaching out to you.
Trusting you with the fragile, unfinished thing he's trying to build for himself again, knowing full well you could burn him with it.
And somehow, hearing him say it—so plainly, so quietly—makes it harder to breathe for a moment. Because even after everything, even after the distance and the silences and the growing pains you both carried separately, some part of him still sees you as the person who would protect his story. The way you once protected his heart.
And you don’t know what terrifies you more—the fact that he still trusts you, or the fact that, deep down, you still want to be the person worthy of that trust.
It rattles something loose inside you—the version of yourself you thought you had to kill off to survive him once.
You shift slightly in your seat, trying to hold onto your composure, trying not to let him see the way those simple words—those few inches of offered faith—shake the foundation you’ve been standing on for years.
"Alright," you say at last, keeping your voice light, controlled, even though your hands tremble ever so slightly beneath the table.
"But don't blame me if you don't like how candid I get."
Sunghoon smiles at that, the edges of his mouth curling in that way that makes your chest hurt for reasons you’re too tired to name.
"I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t mean it," he says simply.
You let out a soft breath you hadn’t even realised you were holding and glance down at your watch, the second hand ticking steadily forward. It’s getting late. And even though neither of you says it, you both know this fragile truce you’ve built tonight can only stretch so far before it snaps under the weight of everything you’re still not ready to talk about.
You stand, gathering your bag with slow, deliberate movements, and Sunghoon rises too, out of habit more than necessity. Always the gentleman, even when he had no right to be.
You sling your bag over your shoulder, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear, and look at him one last time.
There’s so much you could say. So much you shouldn’t.
So instead, you just offer a nod. Small. Measured. Almost formal.
"I’ll be in touch," you say.
And before he can say anything that might make this harder, you turn and walk toward the door, the cool night air rushing in as you step outside.
You don’t look back.
But you feel it—the weight of his eyes following you, lingering in the space you leave behind.
You’re back in that tiny, overheated apartment off campus—the one where the windows always fogged up too easily and nothing ever really dried properly unless you left it near the fan. The scent of burnt popcorn still clings faintly to the air from earlier that evening, and the dull hum of traffic bleeds in through the thin walls, but even that doesn’t distract from the tension steadily rising in the room like pressure before a storm. Sunghoon is slouched on the couch with one hand tangled in his hair, exhaling yet another sigh—his fifth in the past ten minutes. You’ve been watching him carefully from across the room, patiently waiting for him to reach out first. But after three years together, you know better. Park Sunghoon doesn’t do well with vulnerability. He never has. "Something’s on your mind, isn’t it?" you ask, finally breaking the silence as you settle down beside him on the couch. He flinches at your sudden proximity, as if this isn’t your apartment, as if he’s only just realised you’re still here. He doesn’t look at you when he answers. "No, I’m just tired from training, that’s all." You let out a breath—not quite a laugh, not quite a sigh. “You know, three years is a long time. Long enough for me to know when you’re lying to me. Just because I don’t call you out on it doesn’t mean I don’t see it happening.” That makes him freeze. His hand stills in his hair, and his jaw goes tight. “Park Sunghoon,” you say slowly, letting each syllable settle like a weight between you. The name sounds foreign in your mouth—formal, distant, pointed. He flinches. Not visibly, not dramatically—but you see it. A slight stiffening in his posture. The barest flicker of guilt behind his eyes. Because he knows what it means when you use his full name. You only ever say it like that when you’re done waiting. “You’re keeping something from me.” The words come out flat and exhausted, with none of the softness you’ve been clinging to for weeks—because whatever this thing is, whatever he’s hiding, it’s starting to rot the air between you. And you’re too tired—too frayed around the edges from all the late-night phone calls that ended too early, the dinners where he barely looked up from his plate, the countless conversations that brushed against the truth but never quite touched it. He blinks at you like you’ve just blindsided him. "Babe, what are you talking about?" "Don’t do that," you snap, your voice rising before you can stop it. "Don’t act like I’m imagining things. You’ve been distant for weeks. You barely look me in the eye when we talk, and every time I try to ask what’s going on, you throw me the same half-hearted excuses—‘I’m tired,’ ‘Training’s been intense.’ You expect me to just accept that forever?” His jaw flexes, and this time you see it—clear as day—that flicker of guilt he can’t hide fast enough. Your stomach sinks. You soften your tone, even if it cracks on the way out. "Sunghoon, we’re supposed to be in this together. I want to be there for you. Please." He hesitates, swallowing hard like the words are caught in his throat. "I—I received a training offer." For a second, you just blink at him, caught off guard. "That’s great, Hoon. Why would you hide that from me?" He doesn’t answer right away, and for a second you think—maybe it’s nothing. Maybe he really is just tired from training and you’re overreacting. But then, almost reluctantly, he says it.
“It’s in Spain.”
The words land heavy between you.
Spain.
Not just a different city. Not even just another country. Another continent. Another time zone. Another life.
The air leaves your lungs before you can stop it. Not in a dramatic gasp, not in a theatrical way—but in a slow, silent collapse, like something inside you just quietly folded in on itself.
If the offer’s in Spain… then it’s not just about training. It’s about moving.
Leaving.
Staying gone.
“When were you planning on telling me?” you ask, your voice cracking at the edges despite your best effort to keep it steady. “Were you going to let me find out through someone else? Or just… let me sit here, waiting for you to come clean?”
He winces, just slightly. “I didn’t know how.”
And that’s when it really hits you. The worst part isn’t the distance. You could handle distance. You’ve done long hours. Late-night calls. Time apart.
No—the worst part is that he didn’t tell you. That he’s been sitting with this, carrying it silently, while showing up in your apartment like nothing’s changed.
Because this isn’t just about fear or nerves or awkward timing.
This is about trust. About the fact that somewhere, deep down, he didn’t believe you’d understand. Didn’t believe you’d stay.
You feel the sharp sting of that realisation clawing at your chest. You’ve always known Sunghoon wasn’t great at talking about hard things, but you thought… you thought you were past that stage. You thought you were partners.
“I didn’t want to make you worry before I even knew if it was real,” he adds, and the moment stretches thin between you—just long enough for the ache to settle in properly.
Your voice comes out quieter this time, more hollow. “How long ago?”
He hesitates. Again. And you already know the answer’s going to hurt.
“A month.”
You blink. Once. Twice. Trying to understand what kind of person holds onto something that big for thirty days—sharing meals, messages, kisses—without so much as a hint.
"A month,” you repeat, because you need to say it out loud to believe it. “You’ve known about this for a month, and you didn’t think to tell me?”
He doesn’t answer.
And in that silence, your mind fills the blanks for him: You weren’t part of the decision. You weren’t part of the plan. You were just… something temporary. Something not worth factoring in.
You want to yell. You want to cry. You want to disappear.
But instead, all you can do is ask, barely above a whisper—
“How long would you be gone?”
“I don’t know,” he says. “The contract’s renewable. Season by season.”
So not just gone.
Possibly gone for good.
Your vision blurs for a moment—not from tears, but from the force of everything hitting you at once: the betrayal, the loneliness, the terrible, gnawing possibility that he’s been slowly easing himself out of this relationship long before Spain ever came into the picture.
"I'm sorry for not telling you earlier... I was scared.” His voice is low, almost breathless, like he’s only just admitting it to himself. His hand reaches out, tentative at first, before settling over yours where it rests on the couch. And you hate it—how that simple gesture, plain and quiet and embarrassingly overdue, still makes something inside you soften. The bare fucking minimum, and it still sways you.
"Hell, I’m scared too, Sunghoon," you whisper, not bothering to hide the shake in your voice. "But you should’ve told me. I deserved to hear it from you—not from the silence that’s been stretching between us for weeks."
His other hand comes up to run through his hair, eyes squeezing shut for a second. "I don’t even know if I want to take it up. I mean, I could stay. I could keep training here in Korea."
You shoot him a look—sharp, disbelieving, almost angry.
"Are you crazy?" Your voice wavers on the edge of breaking, not because you don’t mean it, but because meaning it hurts more than you want to admit. "It’s a good opportunity, Sunghoon. One you’ve worked your whole life for. You should go for it."
He doesn’t answer immediately. Just stares at you, searching your face like it holds the answers to every impossible question he hasn’t dared to ask. And you know the moment he finds it—the flicker of fear. The tightness in your smile. The regret you tried so hard to keep buried shows in every inch and crease of your face and he sees it as clear as day.
"I love you, Sunghoon." You say it firmly. Desperately. "And loving you means being there for you. Supporting your dreams. That’s what this is. It's not like we’re breaking up, right?"
He reacts instantly. "No! God, no.”
His grip tightens over your hands, voice urgent, pleading.
"I love you too, and I never want to lose you."
You hold his gaze. Let yourself believe him—for now. Because in this moment, with his hand wrapped around yours and his eyes wide and scared and filled with something real, you need to.
"That’s all I needed to know," you say softly.
And it is.
At least, that’s what you tell yourself. You eventually came to terms with it—because you’re good at rationalising things that hurt. You tell yourself that dreams come with sacrifice. That love, real love, isn’t always about staying close—it’s about staying with someone, even when they’re far away. That maybe love isn’t about convenience, but compromise. But still… you guess, even then, even in that moment where you let him go with your blessing—a part of you already had that small flicker of doubt gnawing quietly at the back of your mind. Did he see you in the life he was chasing? Or were you just the thing he had to let go of to chase it faster? The cursor blinks at you, tauntingly. A small, persistent beat on a completely blank page. Like it’s waiting for you to figure out how to write about someone you’ve spent years trying not to think about. It’s not like this is your first article about him. In fact, the last one made the rounds faster than you expected. People called it raw, honest, even moving. They praised your ability to write “authentically,” like you’d peeled back layers no other reporter had dared to touch. Like you knew him. And you do. Or at least you did. Can’t be that hard to churn out another article about him. Your gaze drifts to your desk, where a small, unopened box sits tucked to the side—innocent, pastel-coloured, with a soft shimmer under the lamp light. The Popmart. You blink at it, then let out a quiet laugh. Not bitter. Just tired. Surprised. Of course he didn’t know. You’d already completed this series over a year ago. Bought the final missing figure off some reseller at a ridiculous markup. You’d even double-sleeved it in plastic wrap and stuck it on the corner of your shelf, not because you still cared about the collection, but because it had started to feel like proof of something. Proof that you could finish something on your own. That you could love something—and walk away when you needed to. That you didn’t need anyone else to give you closure. And yet… here it is. Sitting unopened on your desk, brought to you by the very person you spent years training yourself not to miss. A memory in a box. A joke you both once shared, delivered too late and too gently. You pick it up slowly, turning it over in your hand, and smile to yourself—small, worn, a little sad. He still thinks he knows you. Still buys you things like he’s allowed to remember you this closely. And maybe that’s the problem. Because part of you still wants him to.
You're back at the ice rink, your breath catching slightly as the cold air settles into your lungs the moment you step inside. The familiar scent of ice and rubber greets you, sharp and sterile. It’s quieter today—no full team practices or busy skaters gliding across the surface—just the soft, distant hum of the facility and the occasional sharp cut of blades against ice. You texted Sunghoon earlier this week, asking for a favour. A simple photo op, you said—nothing serious. You needed fresh shots for the article. Every news outlet had been recycling the same tired gallery of him from years ago—arms raised in victory at the 2022 Winter Olympics, a candid smile from a post-win press conference, that one dramatic shot with his head bowed in slow-motion grace during a routine. Beautiful images, sure, but outdated. You needed something that showed the version of him now. And if you were being honest with yourself, a small, treacherous part of you just wanted to see him in motion again. To see the Sunghoon that only existed when he was skating. The one who couldn’t hide behind polished interviews and measured words. He agreed with barely a pause.
Sunghoon: Sure. Come by Thursday. I’ll block the ice for an hour.
So you’re here. The camera you borrowed from your illustrator slung over your shoulder, scarf tucked under your chin, fingers already tingling from the cold. You set your things down near the boards, scanning the empty rink until you spot him. And there he is. Sunghoon is already on the ice, warming up with long, fluid strides, his blades carving out familiar patterns beneath him. He hasn’t seen you yet. Or maybe he has, and he's just letting you watch first. Either way, for a moment, you forget you’re here to work. Because seeing him like this—alone on the ice, body moving like muscle memory itself—it tugs something loose in you. Something old and buried but not entirely gone. And you remember: this is what he was born to do. Even if it broke both of you along the way. Without wasting another second, you’re already moving to unzip your camera bag and pull your gear out. You work methodically, slipping off the lens cap, adjusting the settings, checking the battery with a practiced flick of your thumb. It’s almost muscle memory—this part of you that lives in quiet attention. The last time you held a professional camera like this was for a university project, one that had taken weeks to prepare and execute. Back then, Sunghoon had been your muse too—sharp lines, steady movement, that inexplicable sense of stillness in motion that made him impossible to look away from. And now here you are again. The lens finds him at centre ice, where he’s stretching out a tight muscle in his leg, movements slow and careful, like he knows you’re watching now. Maybe he does. Sunghoon always had a sixth sense for that—for when eyes were on him, especially yours. You angle your lens slightly, tracking the curve of his body, the set of his jaw. Click. The shutter snaps. He glances over at the sound, a half-smile tugging at his mouth—mischievous, unbothered, almost like he’s posing without trying. But that’s just how he’s always been. You used to call it his camera face. He used to call you dramatic.
Click.
Sunghoon starts skating again. He doesn’t ask for direction, and you don’t offer any. You don’t need to. You track him through the lens as he glides through a spin, body coiled and precise, before he launches into a clean double axel that lands with barely a sound. The shutter clicks with each motion, capturing his lines, the angles, the fleeting expressions that flash across his face like sunlight through a curtain. You capture the way the light reflects off the ice, how the blade flares white against the surface—it’s all a picture you’ve seen before, but never quite like this. Never with this strange ache nestled beneath your ribs. There’s a moment—between the leap and the landing—when he looks directly at you. And it almost knocks the breath out of you. Because in that split second, it feels like the ice disappears, the years disappear, and it’s just you and him again, the version of him that used to look for your eyes in every crowd. The version that used to skate not just for medals, but for you. You lower your camera slowly, heart thudding a little louder in your chest than it should. “Don’t tell me that was your good side,” you say, aiming for lightness, adjusting your grip on the camera as you lower it from your eye. The teasing is automatic, familiar—the kind of banter you used to toss back and forth like a tennis ball, soft enough not to bruise, sharp enough to mean something. Sunghoon coasts to a stop near the boards, blades carving a soft arc in the ice, his breath visible in the cold air. His chest rises and falls steadily, not from exertion—he’s not pushing himself yet—but from the kind of focused calm he only ever shows on the ice. “It was all my good side,” he replies, deadpan. You roll your eyes and let out a soft, incredulous laugh, more fond than you mean it to be. Of course it was. He’s always been like this—smug and quietly self-aware in the way only someone who knows they’re good can be. You roll your eyes, but your lips are already curling upward. You glance down at the display screen, reviewing the shots, already knowing you’ve got what you came for—and maybe a little more than you meant to take. “Tell me I don’t look good,” Sunghoon says, a quiet challenge in his voice as he raises an eyebrow, still watching you. You scoff, lifting the camera again mostly to hide the expression threatening to spread across your face. “Just try not to look like you’re holding a grudge against the ice,” you reply, letting the words land somewhere between playful and pointed. “I don’t,” he says, and this time, there’s something else there. Something softer. A hesitation in the space between his words. And for a second, it sounds like he means it. You lower the camera slightly, eyes on him through the frame but not taking the shot. Your voice drops without you meaning it to, just a notch lower, quiet like a memory surfacing. “You always looked best when you weren’t trying,” you murmur, mostly to yourself. A truth you’ve always known but never said aloud. But he hears it. And he doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t laugh. Doesn’t tease. He just turns back toward the centre of the rink, pushes off without a word, and starts skating again. You track him as he speeds into another combination—a triple toe loop followed by a clean step sequence, blades carving elegant arcs into the ice. You’re almost lost in it, the way the movements catch light, the shutter syncing to the beat of his pace like muscle memory. Then it happens. It’s subtle. Barely a misstep. But you catch it—the way his landing falters, how his right skate wobbles just slightly before he corrects. It would’ve been imperceptible to most. But not to you. Your fingers freeze on the camera, instinctively holding your breath as you watch him pull out of the sequence early, gliding to the boards instead of continuing.
He’s hiding it. But not well. His right leg drags just a fraction longer than it should with each glide—barely noticeable to the untrained eye, but you’ve spent too many hours watching him skate not to catch it. It’s the kind of minute detail only someone who’s memorised his movement would notice. And it makes your stomach lurch. You lower the camera, resting it carefully at the edge of your bag, the weight of it slipping from your fingers like the moment itself is slipping from your grasp. Your eyes track his every motion as he skates to the edge of the rink, bends low—too low, too carefully—and begins adjusting his laces. A decoy. A deflection. His back is to you, but the lie is written all over the tension in his shoulders. You step closer to the rink’s edge. “Sunghoon.” He doesn’t turn. Doesn’t acknowledge you with anything more than a vague, distracted, “One sec.” It’s the way he used to respond when you caught him avoiding a question. The same rehearsed calm, the same nonchalance that always made you feel like you were overreacting—until the truth came out in pieces. “Don’t do that.” A pause. Then, reluctantly, he straightens and looks over his shoulder. His face is composed, but you see it—the twitch at the corner of his mouth, the way his hands clench a little too tightly around his laces like he needs them to steady himself. It’s in his eyes too. That flicker of guilt. That stubborn need to pretend. And for just a second, you see it flash across his face—that same look he wore four years ago in your apartment. When you said his name with a tremble in your voice. When you caught the lie before he could even shape it with his mouth. It hits you all at once: the déjà vu, the sick familiarity of it. He’s doing it again. Tucking pain behind a polite smile. Folding the truth into excuses he hasn’t said out loud yet. And this time, it’s not your relationship that’s fraying—it’s his body. “It’s nothing,” he says. You wait for him to add on, say something—anything—to reassure you. A quiet I promise or the don’t worry about it. But he doesn’t. Doesn’t matter if he did anyway. You know he’s lying. And just like that, the rumours—the whispers that had floated through the sports forums, half-buried in speculation and dismissed by press statements—crash into your chest with brutal clarity. The injury. The reason he pulled out of finals. The reason he disappeared. You cross your arms. “That ‘nothing’ looked a hell of a lot like something.” “I just landed weird.” “Bullshit,” you snap before you can stop yourself. “You’re injured.”
He freezes. The sound of your words—sharp, laced with something dangerously close to panic—hangs between you. The silence between you stretches like taut wire, thin and sharp and ready to snap. You watch the way his jaw locks, the way his arms hang stiffly by his sides, like he’s bracing for a blow you haven’t decided if you want to deliver. And maybe that’s what hurts more than anything else—not the lie itself, but the fact that he’s willing to let it hang in the air. Unchallenged. Unexplained. Like your concern isn’t worth the truth. Your hands clench into fists before you even realise it, nails digging into your palms as you watch him turn fully now, the faintest strain in his movement betraying what his mouth won’t say. He doesn’t even meet your eyes. And that—that makes something hot and sharp rise in your throat. Anger. That’s the first thing that hits. Because he knew. Knew this wasn’t something he could hide forever—and still, he didn’t tell you. Not when you asked. Not when you agreed to write the article. Not when you sat across from him in that café, trusting him with something you weren’t sure you even had left to give. And he did this again. Like back then. When Spain was just a pin on a map and you were left in the dark, forced to make sense of a future he already knew he wasn’t going to share with you. But right on the heels of that fury comes something else—something slower, heavier. Worry. Because you know him. You know how much the ice means to him. You know what it took for him to get here. And you can see it now, etched into every tight movement and every silent wince he tries to bury beneath composure. He’s skating on borrowed time. The sadness creeps in after, quiet and cruel. Because maybe you were hoping—foolishly—that this time would be different. That this new version of you and him, cautious but healing, would be built on honesty. And yet here you are again. Watching him lie to you, not with words, but with silence. Because you’ve been here before, haven’t you? Waiting on him to meet you halfway while he stands still. And still, a part of you—stupid, stubborn, impossibly soft—wants to close the gap.
You take a step forward. It’s instinct more than decision, your feet moving before your pride can catch up. The edge of the rink is cold against your palms as you lean over the barricade slightly, just enough to close the space between you. He looks like he might flinch again—like he’s caught somewhere between preparing to argue or retreat. But you don’t raise your voice. You just say, quietly, firmly, “Don’t do this.” His eyes flicker—just barely. But you see it. “Don’t shut me out like I’m just another reporter,” you continue. “Don’t feed me lines like ‘it’s nothing’ when you know I see through that better than anyone.” Still, he says nothing. So you press harder, voice trembling now—not with anger, but with the weight of everything you’re holding back. “I watched you limp, Sunghoon. I saw it. And you think I’m just going to nod and take your word for it?” He exhales slowly, but you can tell he’s holding his breath in all the places that matter. You shift again, trying to find steadiness in your words, even as your chest tightens. “If the rumours were true—if you’ve been skating on an injury this entire time—why wouldn’t you just tell me?” A pause. A breath. A crack. “Do you really think I wouldn’t have cared?” That lands. Because his eyes drop—not in shame, but something closer to fear. Not of you. But of what his silence might’ve already cost him. He doesn’t answer, not yet. He just stands there, your words still echoing in the space between you. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out—just a soft, frustrated exhale. His jaw works like he’s chewing on the words, trying to force them out, but they keep getting caught somewhere between his chest and his throat. It’s like he’s standing at the edge of something—something terrifying and uncharted—and he can’t bring himself to take the final step. You can almost see the war going on inside him: the urge to speak versus the instinct to protect himself, to guard the parts of him that still feel too raw to share. For a moment, you think he’s going to brush it off the way he always does—wrap it up neatly with a nonchalant shrug and a quick change of subject. Like he’s too proud or too scared to let you see that raw, unguarded part of him. It wouldn’t be the first time. After all, that’s what he’s always done—deflect, dodge, build walls where there should be bridges. He couldn’t be honest with you when you were dating. What makes you think he’d be any different now, when there’s even more distance between you? You almost let him off the hook. Almost open your mouth to tell him it’s fine, that you don’t need him to explain himself. You’re already bracing yourself to swallow the ache, to bury it with everything else that’s gone unspoken between you. You’ve become good at that—pretending it doesn’t hurt. Pretending the disappointment hasn’t lingered all this time, festering quietly just beneath the surface of your every breath. And Sunghoon sees it. Sees the way your eyes begin to glaze over, the way your posture shifts—not quite closed off, but tilting in that direction. A half-given-up look that reads like surrender. Like you’re moments away from letting go completely. And something in him panics. A wave of it crashes through his chest, sharp and suffocating. Because if he fucks this up—if he lets you walk away now, after everything—it’s really over. No more second chances. No more waiting. He feels the weight of it settle on him all at once. That this—you—is the moment he can’t afford to lose. So, unexpectedly for you, he speaks.
“A year after we broke up,” he says, his voice quiet but steady, like he’s forcing himself to stay composed. “I was sent onto a new reality programme in Spain. Kind of like a training feature-slash-documentary series. Mostly for sponsorships.” He swallows hard, his jaw clenching as he gathers his thoughts. He doesn’t look at you when he speaks—his eyes fixed on some far point beyond the rink, beyond this moment, as if the memory itself is something he can’t look at head-on. “During our break… there was this skater, Hugo.” The name clicks instantly—Hugo Franchez. You’ve heard of him. He’s one of Coach Morales’ other students, known for his flamboyant public persona and his tendency to stir up drama both on and off the ice. Brash, talented, and unapologetically loud. The kind of guy who thrives on attention, whether it’s positive or negative. Before you can fully process what that connection means, Sunghoon cuts through your thoughts, almost as if he knows exactly what’s running through your mind. “Doesn’t matter who he is,” he mutters, voice sharper now, almost defensive. “One day during practice, that prick made a comment. Said my standards had dropped since you left me.” “I didn’t care at first,” he says. “It was petty. Stupid. I’ve heard worse. And honestly, he wasn’t wrong. I was a mess back then. I didn’t care what anyone said.” There’s something tight in his expression, like he’s forcing himself to stay detached—to treat it like a story he’s telling rather than a wound he’s reopening. You stay silent, but you feel your stomach twist into a knot, cold and heavy. The words settle like stones in your chest, bitter and suffocating. You don’t know what to say—don’t know if anything you could say would make a difference. “But then he said something else,” Sunghoon continues, and his voice tightens like it’s physically difficult to push the words out. “He started talking about you. Joking—if you can even call it that. Said maybe he’d try you out next. That someone like you didn’t need love, just a good—” He cuts himself off, hand flexing slightly at his side. You don’t need him to finish. Your breath catches in your chest, a mix of disgust and disbelief building behind your ribs. Your hands tighten on the rink’s barrier, knuckles turning white. You can’t seem to move, your mind struggling to make sense of the sheer audacity—the venom laced into words that shouldn’t even exist. Sunghoon’s fingers drum restlessly against his thigh, a telltale sign that he’s more upset than he’s letting on. His mouth presses into a thin, unforgiving line, and for a moment, he just breathes—deep and controlled, like he’s trying not to let his frustration seep through, but there’s a tremor in his voice that betrays the anger still simmering under the surface. “Hoon…” you whisper, your voice barely audible, raw with sympathy and anger that doesn’t know where to land. Sunghoon’s heart leaps at the familiar nickname, but the feeling doesn’t last long as he’s reminded of the story he’s telling. “That’s when it happened,” he continues, finally lifting his gaze to meet yours. There’s something broken there, vulnerability seeping through the cracks in his usual calm. “I snapped. Took a swing at him. Next thing I know, we’re being pulled apart. Cameras everywhere. People yelling. Coach Morales losing his mind. The programme was discontinued after that.” You take a small, steadying breath, unsure of whether to feel relieved that he defended you or angry that it came to this.
“And your injury?” you ask, the words careful, soft, like you’re afraid of breaking whatever fragile, rare occurrence is happening between you. He hesitates, the tension in his posture growing taut again. “When we went down, I didn’t even notice it at first. Adrenaline, I guess. I thought it wasn’t a big deal. It hurt, yeah, but I could still skate. I figured it’d pass. I didn’t want to make it anything more than what it was.” You watch the shift in his expression—the shame, the defensiveness, the echo of pain he’s tried so hard to bury. “That’s why you pulled out of the finals,” you say, the pieces clicking together all at once. He nods. “Turns out I tore a ligament when I landed wrong. I didn’t realise how bad it was until I couldn’t even put weight on it. Rehab took months. Had to retrain my whole posture. Thought I’d never land a clean jump again.” The silence that follows isn’t empty—it’s heavy with everything unspoken. You can feel the ache settle in your chest, not just for him but for the both of you—the version of him who tried to hold it all together, and the version of you who never knew. You want to scream at him for being reckless. For not telling you. For carrying all of this alone when he didn’t have to. But instead, you just stare at him. And he stares back. Both of you standing there, in the middle of a truth that neither of you asked for—but one that’s been waiting, quietly, to be told. “But you’re better now, right?” Your voice comes out more hopeful than you intended, a tight, almost desperate note clinging to the words. “I mean… you’re skating fine. You’re prepping for the tryouts, right?” Sunghoon hesitates, his eyes dropping to his hands where his fingers are still restlessly drumming against his thighs. He swallows hard, and the tension in his jaw doesn’t ease. “Barely,” he admits, the word thick and reluctant. “The injury relapses whenever I overexert. Some days it’s fine, and other days… it’s like I’m right back to square one. There’s no pattern. No warning. Just pain.” You feel a hollow ache forming in your chest, and you can’t help the frustration that bubbles up alongside the worry. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He looks up at you then, a flicker of something pained and conflicted crossing his face. “Because it wasn’t your problem to deal with. You didn’t need to know. I couldn’t—” He breaks off, running a hand through his hair in a way that’s almost angry. “I couldn’t stand the thought of you worrying about me. Not after I’d already messed things up between us.” You open your mouth to argue, to tell him that’s not how this works—that you wouldn’t have seen him as a burden. But you can’t find the words, because deep down, you know Sunghoon has always carried things alone. It’s just who he is. Protecting people from his own mess, even when it tears him apart. He’s still watching you, shoulders tense, waiting for the backlash—like he’s already bracing himself for the worst. And you can’t help it—you laugh. Not a happy laugh. Not even a bitter one. Just a short, exhausted sound that slips out before you can stop it. “That’s it?” you murmur, shaking your head. “That’s the reason you didn’t tell me? Because you didn’t know how to believe that I’d want to help you?” Sunghoon’s jaw clenches, and his eyes flicker with something like hurt. “You don’t understand—” “No, I don’t,” you cut in, and your voice wobbles despite your best efforts to sound composed. “I don’t understand how the guy who always told me to be honest, to be open with him, just decides on his own that I wouldn’t care? You didn’t even give me the chance, Sunghoon.” He doesn’t respond. Just lowers his gaze, looking at his own skates like they might hold an answer. You take a slow breath, forcing yourself to ease back the frustration threatening to spill over. “You think I wouldn’t have cared? That I would’ve just—what—written you off as some failure because you got hurt? After everything?” His silence feels like an admission. And it hurts more than it should. “Was I really that easy to leave behind?” you ask, softer now. Your hands curl tighter around the edge of the boards, knuckles turning white. “Did I make it that easy for you?” He finally looks up, and his expression is raw, stripped down to something you haven’t seen in years. “No,” he says, almost too fast. “It wasn’t easy. Nothing about leaving was easy. I just—I didn’t know how to handle it.” You swallow the lump in your throat, letting his words sink in. You’re speechless, your mind a whirlwind of the why and the how and the what ifs that he’s not giving you. Then you zone into what he said: Not after I’d already messed things up between us. He’s aware that the reason for your falling out was because of him. “Never mind after we broke up. In the last few months of our relationship, why were you so distant then? Why wouldn’t you tell me anything? Why did we break up, Sunghoon?” His head jerks up, eyes widening. For a second, he looks like he didn’t expect you to ask, like he thought you’d just let it stay buried. But you can’t. Not anymore. “I didn’t mean to lose you,” he whispers, like it’s something he’s only just now realising. “But by the time I figured out how to come back… it felt like I didn’t deserve to. Not after everything.” You open your mouth, then close it again, the words heavy on your tongue. There’s a long pause—weighted, expectant. You shift slightly, pressing your palms against the edge of the rink as if to steady yourself. And then, quietly—because you need to understand, because you deserve to—you ask:
“What happened in Spain? Please, I need to know.” Sunghoon meets your gaze and for a second, it really felt like he was finally meeting you halfway. He lets out a shaky breath before he speaks again, voice low and unsteady. “When I left Korea, it was like everything just… fell apart. I thought skating would fix it. That if I just pushed through, everything would fall into place. It was going to be worth it, I’d feel like myself again.” His voice is quieter when he continues, almost like he’s talking more to himself than to you. “After we broke up, I kept telling myself it was for the best. That I needed to focus on skating. But… after a while, it didn’t matter anymore. I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t even skating because I loved it. I was just… doing it. Because I didn’t know what else to do. Because I didn’t know who I was if I wasn’t moving forward. And without you… I just felt stuck.” The weight of his confession presses down on both of you, heavy and unforgiving. You let your hands fall from where they’ve been gripping the rink barrier, flexing your fingers like you’re trying to shake off the cold—or maybe just the ache creeping into your chest. Sunghoon skates closer, not enough to close the gap entirely but enough that you can see the way his eyes are glossed over, the pain he’s too proud to let fully show. “I lost you. I lost skating. And I didn’t know how to come back from that.” You don’t know how to respond. You don’t even know if there’s anything left to say. So you just stare at him, taking in the vulnerability on his face—the way he’s finally, finally letting himself be seen. And despite the anger, despite the sadness, a small part of you—the part that never really stopped missing him—starts to unravel. Because this isn’t the Sunghoon you remember leaving. This is someone who’s been trying—fumbling, falling, but trying—to find his way back. You don’t move, but you don’t push him away either. You just stand there, caught between wanting to reach for him and wanting to protect yourself from being hurt again. And Sunghoon sees it—that hesitation. He takes a shaky breath, his hands falling to his sides, fingers flexing like he doesn’t know what to do with them. He’s still looking at you—eyes wide, raw, like he’s afraid of what your silence means. Finally, he forces the words out, voice rough and unsteady. “I know it doesn’t mean much now, but I’m really fucking sorry, Y/N.”
His eyes drop again, like he can’t bear to see your reaction. “I was an emotional wreck when I realised I was falling out of love with skating. It felt like I was losing the only thing I’d ever been good at, and I didn’t know how to handle that. And in the middle of that mess… I didn’t know how to give you the love you needed.” The admission hangs between you, heavy and unguarded, and it’s like you’re seeing the cracks in him for the first time—not the public figure, not the professional skater, but the boy who had once loved the ice so much that he didn’t know who he was without it. You bite the inside of your cheek, fighting the tremble threatening your voice. “You should have just… told me. You didn’t have to go through it alone. I was right there, Sunghoon. I would have—” “I know,” he cuts in, voice almost desperate. “I know you would have. But I didn’t know how to let you. I kept thinking if I just pushed harder, trained longer, it would click again. That the love for it would come back. But it didn’t. And the more I kept failing, the less I could bring myself to tell you.” You swallow down the hurt lodged in your throat, forcing yourself to stay steady. “So instead, you just shut me out? Kept me in the dark?” “I couldn’t handle it,” he says, a bitter edge cutting through his tone. “All of it. You being so damn supportive. Telling me I could do it when I knew I couldn’t. I was falling apart, and you kept telling me I was going to make it. It just—” He shakes his head, lips pressing into a tight line. “It made me feel like a fraud. Like I was dragging you down with me.” You stare at him, disbelief and frustration mixing with the ache in your chest. “You’re kidding. And suddenly it's my fault? That I cared too much?”
“No! I didn’t mean it like that,” he says quickly, voice hoarse, trembling around the edges of regret. “God, that’s not what I meant at all. Fuck.”
He grips the back of his neck like he’s trying to ground himself, eyes flickering everywhere but yours—walls, floor, ceiling—anywhere that isn’t the firestorm in your gaze.
“I meant…” he finally forces out, lowering his hands. His shoulders sag. “I meant I didn’t know how to handle it. You gave so much and I—I didn’t know how to match it. I was scared I’d ruin it. So I pulled back. I shut you out instead of admitting I couldn’t keep up with the way you loved me.” Your heart clenches, torn between anger and sympathy. You take a deep breath, forcing the words out even though they taste like heartbreak. “You didn’t have to make that choice for me. I would’ve stayed, Sunghoon. Even if it hurt. Even if you were falling apart—” “That’s why I didn’t tell you!” The words burst out of him, louder than he meant them to. The sound echoes slightly in the quiet of the rink, raw and cracked at the edges. You flinch—not because you’re afraid, but because it’s the first time he’s raised his voice with you in a fight. Sunghoon’s expression falters the moment it leaves his mouth. His chest rises and falls unevenly as the weight of what he’s said settles between you. He blinks fast, and for the first time, you see the glassiness in his eyes—the way his lashes tremble under the strain of holding everything in. “I didn’t want you to feel guilty,” he says again, softer this time, like he’s trying to undo the sharpness from before. “Or worse… like you had to fix it. I couldn’t bear the thought of becoming something you felt responsible for instead of someone you just… loved.” He swallows hard, gaze falling to the floor as if he’s ashamed of the outburst, the truth, or maybe both. Your chest tightens at his words, but not out of anger. Not even sadness. Just this overwhelming ache for the boy in front of you—the boy who thought love was something that had to be earned only when he was okay. You exhale slowly, trying to steady the crack in your voice. “You think I loved you because you were strong all the time? Because you had it all together?” He doesn’t answer, but the tension in his shoulders says enough. “Sunghoon, I didn’t want to fix you. I just wanted to be there with you.
For a moment, he just stares at you, like he’s trying to understand why you’re still here, still fighting to know the truth. And in that silence, you realise that he’s never really stopped carrying the weight of that decision—never really forgiven himself for it. The guilt. The loneliness. The fear. It’s all still there, buried under years of trying to pretend it didn’t matter. And it hits you then—how much of himself he gave up just to make sure you didn’t drown with him. You’re not sure whether to scream at him for being so stupidly self-sacrificing or cry because he thought pushing you away was protecting you. His next words come out in a whisper, like he’s afraid of breaking the fragile truce between you. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I swear. I just… didn’t know how to love you and love skating at the same time. And when skating stopped feeling like love, I didn’t know how to love myself either.” Something inside you softens, and you feel the fight drain out of your body. You lean back, exhaling shakily, trying to process it all. Maybe you thought the anger would feel good. Like if you just yelled loud enough, it would drown out the ache that’s been festering since he left. But now, standing here with him—raw, exposed, finally admitting the truth—you just feel tired. And maybe, just maybe, a little relieved. Because at least now you know. It wasn’t that he didn’t care. It was that he didn’t know how. Without thinking, you reach out over the barricade, your fingers brushing against his. When he doesn’t pull away, you take his hand in yours. His shoulders slump, the fight draining out of him, and for the first time in what feels like forever, he lets himself lean into you—no walls, no distance, just the raw truth of it all between you.
He lets out a rough, almost bitter laugh. “Funny, right? I spent so long trying to protect you from my problems that I ended up creating a whole new one.” You squeeze his hand gently, feeling his warmth seep into your skin. “You didn’t have to go through it alone,” you whisper. “You didn’t have to push me away just because you thought you were sparing me.” His eyes dart down to your joined hands, but he doesn’t pull away. “I know that now,” he says quietly. “But back then, I thought keeping you out of it would make things easier. For both of us.” You swallow the knot in your throat, wondering how many more pieces you’d have to unearth before you finally made sense of everything that went wrong between you. “But it didn’t, did it?” you murmur, half a statement, half a question. Sunghoon’s shoulders sag, like the weight he’s been carrying finally buckles under your words. He breathes out slowly, shaking his head, a rueful, almost self-deprecating smile tugging at his lips. “No. It didn’t.” Sunghoon takes a deep, trembling breath. The kind that rattles from somewhere deep in his chest, like he’s holding back more than just words. Slowly, carefully, his fingers slip from yours. The absence of his touch is immediate—sharp, cold, like the air around you shifted. He stuffs his hands into his pockets, like maybe that’s the only way to keep them from shaking, from betraying just how unsteady he really feels. His gaze drops to the ice at your feet, avoiding your eyes with an almost boyish kind of shame, as though looking at you would only make the truth harder to say. “And I didn’t reach out to you after my injury because…” He pauses, swallows. His voice when it comes out is brittle, like he’s forcing it through a throat full of glass. “Because I didn’t want you to feel like you were a second option. Like I was only coming back to you because skating was no longer viable.” Your breath catches. The words hit in a place you didn’t expect, a sharp, unexpected pang that lodges deep beneath your ribs. You blink, startled, searching his face like maybe you misheard him. “What?” you whisper, barely audible. The word is soft, too soft. It slips from your lips like a secret, afraid to make the moment any heavier than it already is. He lets out a laugh—but it’s dry, hollow, laced with bitterness and self-loathing. “It’s stupid, I know. But I didn’t want you to think that… that I only wanted you because skating didn’t work out. I thought if I showed up after everything fell apart, you’d look at me and think I was just using you to fill the gap.” You shake your head slowly, the motion dazed, your thoughts struggling to keep pace with the revelation. “Sunghoon… I never—” “I know,” he cuts in, quickly, almost harshly. His voice cracks, raw and unfiltered. “I know you didn’t. But I was so fucking lost, Y/N. I didn’t know who I was without skating. And the idea of crawling back to you, looking for comfort when I had nothing left… it felt selfish. Like I was just dragging you into my mess because I couldn’t handle it on my own. You deserved better than that.” There’s a silence that follows—not the empty kind, but the kind that weighs down the air like fog. Heavy. Still. Unavoidable. Your arms fold in tightly against your chest as if bracing for something colder than the rink air. There’s a tightness there, something fragile pressing hard against your ribs, and it takes you a moment to recognise it for what it is. It’s the part of you that never really stopped caring. “You’re an idiot,” you say, voice thick, the words catching on the knot in your throat. You almost choke on it, the mix of pain and tenderness. “A complete idiot.” He finally looks up.
And it’s the way he looks at you that undoes you. Eyes rimmed red, glassy with unshed tears, but wide open—unguarded in a way he’s never let himself be. The vulnerability in them is devastating. It makes your own eyes sting, and you press your lips together hard, willing yourself not to break down in front of him. You can’t afford to. Not after everything. But the way he’s looking at you, the way he’s baring his heart after years of hiding—it hurts. The ice rink is eerily quiet now. The distant hum of the arena lights above buzzes like white noise around you, but everything else is still. Time feels like it’s slowed down, like the two of you exist in a bubble suspended in grief, in truth, in the aftermath of everything that wasn’t said when it mattered. You don’t know what to say—don’t know how to put into words the mess of emotions clawing at your chest. It’s tangled and bruised and beating far too loudly. There’s relief, yes. A bit of anger too. But mostly, there’s just this deep, aching sadness for the boy who thought he had to fight his battles alone. But eventually, you find your voice. Quieter. Softer. “I never needed you to be perfect, Sunghoon.” Your voice wavers despite how hard you try to steady it. “I just needed you to be honest.” He closes his eyes for a moment, like the words hit him physically. The mess inside his chest doesn’t have clean edges. It’s tangled and bruised and beating far too loudly. His brows pull together, and his shoulders—always so tight, so high, like he’s been bracing for impact for years—finally sink. The tension in him melts, slow and subtle, like he’s deflating under the weight of finally letting the truth out. Then he nods. Once. Barely. But it’s enough. Enough to know that he heard you. And that alone makes your heart ache. You know you shouldn’t give in. Not this easily. But you’ve never been one for restraint. It’s always been your fatal flaw—feeling too much, too fast, letting your heart speak before your head can catch up. And maybe that’s why this moment feels so inevitable. Because despite everything—despite the heartbreak, the silence, the years—you still want to close the distance. It’s a mystery how you and Sunghoon even started dating in the first place, how two people so fundamentally different found their way to each other. You, all fire and instinct, and him—quiet, composed, like he was always walking a tightrope with his heart tucked out of reach. You were sunshine, and he was midnight rain. You wanted comfort, but he was chasing medals and glory. Well… he used to. Back then, he didn’t know you’d come into his life. Didn’t expect that your laughter, your stubborn heart, your ability to see straight through him would start to matter more than medals ever did. Didn’t realise that somewhere along the way, it wasn’t skating he was chasing anymore.
It was you. And by the time he figured it out—by the time he realised you were the thing he’d always been reaching for—you were already slipping through his fingers. Not because you didn’t love him. But because he didn’t know how to stop running. Not for the crowd. Not for the gold. But from someone who would’ve stayed if only he’d asked. Maybe that’s why it worked for a while. Maybe that’s why he never stopped yearning. His eyes are still fixed on the ice, refusing to look at you, like if he stares hard enough, he can will himself invisible. His posture is closed in, like he’s trying to shrink himself, like if he folds in far enough, he can disappear into his regret. You take a step forward. Then another. Your shoes click softly against the rubber mats until the last one slips onto the smooth, glinting surface. You cross the threshold onto the ice without thinking, heart first, fearless—like always. The cold greets your ankles instantly, the faint burn of it rushing up your calves. Your feet come into his view, and he startles slightly, blinking as he realises how close you are now. “What are you—?” His brow furrows, alarm flickering in his expression. “Careful, you’re gonna fall again if—” You hug him. There’s no warning. No speech. No careful calculation. You just move, because your heart gets there before anything else can stop it. Your arms wrap around him—firm, grounding—and his breath stutters as if the contact knocks the wind out of him. He stays frozen for a second, like his body doesn’t believe it’s real, like he thinks if he moves, you’ll vanish. "It's okay," you murmur against his shoulder, your voice soft but steady. "I know you'll catch me even if I fall." And somehow, that’s what does it. That quiet faith in him—even now, after everything—cracks something open. He exhales, the breath hitching on its way out, and you feel the tension leave his body piece by piece. Slowly, hesitantly, he melts into you. His chin dips to rest against the curve of your shoulder, and his arms—those shaking, unsure arms—wrap around your back and hold on. Not tight. Not desperate. But like someone who’s been cold for far too long, and finally, finally found warmth. Like your presence alone is something he's relearning how to deserve. You close your eyes, steadying yourself with the quiet rise and fall of his chest against yours. Then you speak—gently, but with purpose. "Don’t take this the wrong way," you say, your fingers curling slightly into the fabric of his jacket. "This isn’t forgiveness. I’m not there yet. This is just… me showing you that I still care. As a friend." He stiffens slightly, but you don’t let go. You press on. "I’m sorry this happened to you," you whisper. "I know skating meant the world to you." Sunghoon doesn’t answer. Not out loud. But his arms tighten—just a little—and his breath shudders, and the thought echoes in his mind with a force that nearly brings him to his knees: You mean the world to me, still. He doesn't say it. He doesn’t need to. It’s there—in the way he holds you now, in the way he leans into your warmth like it’s the first real thing he’s touched in years. And for a moment, you let him. You both do. Not as the people you once were. But as the broken, rebuilding versions of yourselves—still trying, still reaching, still here. This quiet moment.
You remember this feeling. The stillness. The unspoken. The way the world seems to hush when you’re in his arms—not because everything is perfect, but because somehow, even in the mess, it feels safe. You used to crave more. Words. Reassurance. The kind of affection you could point to and name. But as time passed, you learned to understand him in these smaller, quieter ways. The way he’d wait for you after late classes just to walk you home, even when he never said why. The way he’d leave extra pairs of gloves in your bag before competitions. The way he never quite let go first. It’s the way Sunghoon has always shown love to you. Not through grand gestures or flowery words, but through presence. Through the way he leans in, silent and steady. Through the way he holds you like you're something he’s afraid to break. Through the quiet weight of his hand resting at the small of your back, like a promise he’s never quite been brave enough to say out loud. This right here—this silence filled with meaning—has always been his way of saying I’m here. I care. I love you. And that’s why, when his presence stopped feeling like love—when the silence turned from comfort to distance—you felt discarded. Unwanted. Like love had quietly exited the room and no one bothered to tell you. His inability to say what he felt, to put to words what you meant to him, only made it worse. Because you were still there, waiting for something—anything—to hold onto, while he kept retreating behind walls you couldn’t climb. But now, standing here, with his arms around you once again, you feel it. All of it. Even if he still hasn’t found the words. You realise then—he never stopped caring for you, too. The silence. The omission of truth. The way he held everything in, thinking he was protecting you by keeping you out. You used to mistake it for distance, for disinterest. But maybe that was just the way he loved you. Complicated. Flawed. Quiet in all the places you needed noise. It wasn’t the way you loved—not loud and vulnerable, not open and all-consuming—but it was still love. Just… his version of it. And you—all heart before reason. You loved like it was oxygen, like holding back would be the same as holding your breath. You said too much, felt too deeply, asked for honesty even when he didn’t know how to give it. You needed presence, yes—but you also needed words. Needed something solid to hold onto when his silence left too much room for doubt. And still—that was the way you loved him. Messy. Unfiltered. Brave in all the ways he wasn’t ready for. You offered him your whole heart without a safety net, while all he wanted was to protect you from his fall. And it hits you then, in a way that’s both soft and sharp—this was always the story. The gaps, the miscommunication, the mismatched ways of showing up. It was never about not feeling enough. It was about feeling too much, in entirely different languages. You, speaking in open wounds and raw confessions. Him, answering in silence and distance. Two people standing on opposite ends of a love that was real—just not always right.
And maybe that’s the tragedy of it.
Not that you didn’t love each other. But that you did.
Just in ways the other didn’t know how to hold.
You and Sunghoon spend the next few hours sitting on the cold bleachers, catching up on the last four years—what was said, what wasn’t, and everything that existed in between. It’s not an invitation to get back together. That much is clear—spoken and understood without the need for awkward disclaimers. This is something else entirely. A truce, maybe. An unspoken agreement to lay the past to rest without erasing it. An invitation to let go of the bitterness. To make sure the four years you spent loving each other—messy and imperfect as they were—don’t go down the drain as nothing but regret. And anyway, nobody ever said ex-lovers couldn’t stay friends… You learn that Hugo Sánchez—the skater Sunghoon had that infamous tussle with—was caught up in a drug scandal just a few months later. It never made headlines, swept under the rug with hush money and quiet handshakes behind closed doors. But word still got around. Coach Morales blacklisted him, and by extension, so did every major name in the circuit. “Guess karma’s real after all,” you mutter, brows raised as Sunghoon nods. “He got what he deserved,” he replies quietly, but there’s no real satisfaction in his tone. Just a kind of weariness. The kind that says it still wasn’t worth what it cost me. You offer a small, understanding smile, then shift the conversation—gently. You tell him about your career. How you fell into sports journalism by accident, how you hated it at first. How you stuck with it anyway. About the sleepless nights, the thankless deadlines, the rush of chasing a story and the heartbreak of killing one. You tell him how strange it is, writing about athletes when you once dated one—how sometimes you catch yourself comparing their routines, their postures, their voices to his. You don’t mean to say that last part. But it slips out, unfiltered. Sunghoon glances at you then, a soft crease forming between his brows, and for a moment, you think he might say something. But he doesn’t. He just listens, the same way he always used to—quietly, intently, like your voice alone is enough to anchor him. You’re halfway through telling him the story about your first major reporting slip-up—something about mistaking a gold medalist for a retired curling coach—when Sunghoon breaks into laughter.
Real laughter.
Not the polite kind. Not the breathy exhale he’s used to giving when he’s holding too much in. But the kind that lights up his whole face. His head tips back slightly, shoulders shaking, eyes squinting in disbelief as he nearly doubles over from how hard he’s laughing.
“You what?” he wheezes, clutching his stomach. “Please tell me you didn’t salute him and ask about his war medals too. He probably thought you were calling him a grandpa, not an Olympian!” You’re laughing too, unable to help it. “Listen, the man had a beard and a windbreaker and that very ‘I peaked in Vancouver 2010’ vibe.” “And that screams retired Olympian to you?” he chokes, still catching his breath. “You probably set athlete-media relations back a decade.” “I was nervous, okay?” you defend, wiping at your eyes, the kind of laughter that makes your ribs hurt already fading into little aftershocks. You lean back against the bleachers with a sigh, finally calming down—only to notice he’s gone quiet. You turn to find him just… looking at you. Not with amusement anymore, but something softer. His expression has shifted—gentle, open, a little vulnerable in a way that makes your breath catch. He’s watching you like he forgot what it was like to see you laugh like that. Like he’s trying to memorise the shape of your smile and hold onto the sound of it. You raise a brow, playful. “What? Do I have something on my face?” He blinks, startled, like you caught him in a secret. “No,” he says, quickly averting his gaze. Then, quieter, “Just... forgot what that sounded like.” “What did?” you ask, even though you already know. “You. Laughing like that.” He shrugs, keeping his eyes on the rink. You pause, suddenly aware of how close you’re sitting. How his knee brushes yours every so often when he shifts. How the warmth between you lingers even in the chill of the arena. “Well,” you finally say, nudging his shoulder with yours, “don’t get used to it. I’m a very serious journalist now. No more giggling.” He glances at you with a crooked smile, eyes full of mischief. “Sure. I’ll believe that when you don’t snort the next time you laugh.” You gasp, scandalised. “I do not snort.” Sunghoon leans in slightly, teasing. “You literally just did.” You stare at him, lips parted, fully ready to argue—until you realise he’s right. And then you’re laughing again, shaking your head as you gently shove his arm. “Asshole,” you mumble through your grin. And just like that, the weight between you both lightens again—still present, but tucked neatly beside something warmer. Familiar. Almost like the beginning of something new. Or maybe just the gentler end of something old. Either way, it’s something.
That night, when you finally reach home, your cheeks are still warm. You’re still smiling a little too easily at nothing in particular. The chill of the ice rink has long worn off, but Sunghoon’s laugh—low, genuine—lingers in your ears like a recent vocal stimulation. It’s been years since that sound last came from him, at least directed at you, and it sits somewhere in your chest now, unexpectedly soft and stubborn. You kick off your shoes, shrug off your coat, and collapse onto your couch with a sigh that’s half-exhaustion, half-daydream. Your mind is foggy, a little giddy. Like you’ve just had caffeine on an empty stomach or you’ve stepped into some alternate version of your life—one where the world’s been tilted just a few degrees off-centre and nothing’s quite the same anymore. Then your eyes fall on your laptop. Still open. Still glowing. And suddenly, reality tugs you back down. You’d forgotten about the article. The one you had barely started drafting. The one with Sunghoon’s name in the headline. The one meant to announce his participation in the Olympics tryout. You sit up straighter, the comfort in your muscles draining fast as a chill crawls up your spine. Because all you can think about now—over and over, like a stuck record—is the way he said it: “The injury relapses whenever I overexert.” He’d said it so casually, like it wasn’t a big deal. Like it was just a fact of life now. A quiet asterisk next to his name. He said he wasn’t planning a full comeback. He said he wasn’t sure. But he’s still showing up to tryouts. Still skating. Still pushing. And suddenly, what once felt like a career milestone—this exclusive, this rare chance to write the first profile on Park Sunghoon’s inevitable return to the ice—feels... invasive. Too sharp. Too personal. Your fingers hover over your phone, the urge to text him immediate.
You type something—delete it. Type again.
Hey. Are you really okay to skate?| | Are you sure you’re not pushing too hard?| | Let me know if there’s anyway I can help.| | But none of them feel right. Because you barely just started talking again. Because one evening of laughter on a set of cold bleachers doesn’t erase four years of silence. Because you’re not sure if checking in now would cross a line you don’t have permission to step over anymore. So instead, you lock your phone screen and place it face down on the table. And you sit there in the quiet, trying not to worry. Trying not to think of the pressure on his leg, the sting in his joints, the way he’d smiled when he told you—not proud, not hopeful, just... resigned. But worry, of course, doesn’t ask permission. It settles in the pit of your stomach like lead. Because you know him. And you know he’ll keep skating—even if it breaks him again. And worst of all, he’ll do it without ever asking for help.
[MANIFESTO EXCLUSIVE] Park Sunghoon Announces Participation In 2026 Winter Olympics Tryout
By Kang Y/N, Manifesto Daily It’s been nearly two years since figure skating prodigy Park Sunghoon last performed on Korean ice.
Once heralded as one of South Korea’s most technically refined athletes, Park disappeared from the public eye following an abrupt withdrawal from the 2023 Grand Prix Final. No formal statement was ever released. No interviews, no explanations—just a silence that, for a time, swallowed even his most devoted fans’ questions.
Until now.
This week, Park’s name quietly reappeared on the athlete roster for the upcoming 2026 Winter Olympics tryouts. And in an exclusive conversation with Manifesto Daily, Park has officially confirmed his participation.
Park’s return marks a significant moment in the national figure skating circuit. Known for his precision, control, and signature composure on the ice, his performances have long drawn praise from both domestic and international judges. His participation is expected to bring renewed attention to the men's singles category in the upcoming season.
Tryouts are scheduled to take place early next month, where top-ranked skaters will compete for coveted spots on South Korea’s Olympic delegation. While Park has kept a low public profile in recent years, anticipation surrounding his return remains high. His past record includes a gold medal finish at the Four Continents Championships, a bronze medal at the Beijing 2022 Winter Olympics, and consistent placements in the Grand Prix circuit, making him a strong contender as the nation gears up for Olympic selection.
Fans and officials alike will be watching closely as Park takes the ice again—not only for his technical capabilities, but for what his presence brings to a new generation of skaters: legacy, poise, and a renewed standard of excellence.
Further details regarding the tryout schedule and national team lineup are expected to be released by the Korean Skating Union in the coming weeks.
For now, one thing is clear: Park Sunghoon is officially back in contention.
The day of the Olympic tryouts arrives cloaked in a biting chill, the kind that slips past your collar and lingers in your bones. You arrive earlier than necessary, nerves already humming beneath your skin. Not as a reporter this time. Not officially, anyway. Sunghoon had pulled strings—quietly, discreetly. A whispered favour here, a signature there. He got you in as “internal support staff,” listed under his team’s management, though you’re carrying nothing but your notepad, your name badge, and a heart that won’t sit still. Reporters aren’t allowed inside the venue during these closed sessions. That’s the rule. But Sunghoon has always had a way of bending the edges when he really wants something. And today, he wanted you there. You flash the ID badge at the security checkpoint, and it works. You’re ushered in with the rest of his team—coaches, assistants, the tech specialist checking his skates for calibration. You keep your head down, hands wrapped tightly around the warm paper cup of coffee you didn’t finish. You don’t think you could stomach anything right now anyway. You find yourself blinking a little harder than necessary as you take your seat in the shadows of the side bleachers, tucked away from the officials and judges gathering near the front. Your hands grip the edge of the bench automatically. Your eyes find the centre of the rink without thinking. And there he is. Sunghoon. Hair slicked back, posture impossibly straight, wearing a crisp black jacket with his country’s emblem stitched just above his heart. He hasn’t noticed you yet—he’s locked in, eyes narrowed, lips set in that focused line you know too well. It’s not his competition face yet, but it’s close. You feel a rush of déjà vu so strong it makes your chest ache. Because you’ve been here before. Not here exactly, but in a hundred different rinks just like this one. Sitting in the same quiet corners. Watching him from a distance. Sometimes holding your breath without realising it. Sometimes the only person in the arena clapping when he stuck a landing during rehearsal. Back then, you knew his routines by heart. Knew the way his fingers twitched before a jump. Knew when he was proud and when he was pretending to be. And now, somehow, you're here again. Only this time, there are four years of silence sitting between you and the memory of who you used to be in his orbit. Still, when he glides to the edge of the rink and spots you in the stands, his expression softens just a fraction. He doesn’t smile. Doesn’t wave. But he holds your gaze long enough for you to know: He sees you. The same way he did four years ago.
When you used to wait by the edge of the rink with a scarf and a warm drink. When he’d skate over to you before practice just to tap your forehead with his finger and say don’t blink this time. When he was still learning how to balance pressure and affection—and you were still learning how to love someone who rarely said what he felt. The way he’s looking at you now—it’s not loud. Not grand. But it’s enough to pull at the thread of every memory you thought you’d neatly tucked away. Sunghoon exhales slowly, eyes trained on the centre of the rink as the announcer’s voice fades into the cold, echoing silence. The blades of his skates feel heavy beneath him—not because they’re any different, but because he is. His heartbeat thrums steadily beneath the layers of his costume, fast but controlled. A familiar rhythm he used to draw comfort from. Now, it only reminds him of everything riding on this final run. He flexes his fingers once, then again. The nerves are there—no point pretending they aren’t. They’ve settled deep into his bones, coiled tight like springs. But there’s no fear. Not of falling. Not of losing. Because he already did that. He already lost the version of skating that once consumed him. Already stepped away from the spotlight, already let go of the expectations. What remains now is something simpler. Smaller. This isn’t about medals anymore. This is the end of something. Or maybe the beginning of what comes after. He guesses that’s the one thing he was keeping from you. Not because he didn’t trust you, but because saying it out loud would’ve made it real—that the dream he built his life around had slowly started to unravel. That somewhere along the way, skating stopped being love and started feeling like obligation.
You think he’s here to chase after redemption. To reclaim what was lost. To silence the whispers, the speculation, the question marks that trailed behind his name for years. You think he’s here to prove that he still has it—that the boy wonder of South Korea’s figure skating circuit never truly fell from grace. But you’re wrong. Because redemption implies he owes something to someone. And Sunghoon’s done with owing. This tryout isn’t about reclaiming his reputation. He’s not here for the judges. Not for the headlines. Not even for the crowd that once screamed his name. He’s here for something far quieter. Something far more difficult to earn. Closure. Not the kind that comes with medals or press conferences, but the kind you feel in your chest when you finally stop running. When you stop skating to meet expectations, and start skating to meet yourself again. This is not a comeback. It’s about reclaiming why he ever skated in the first place. It’s about the quiet mornings on empty rinks. The way cold air fills his lungs and clears his thoughts. The ache in his legs after hours of training that no one ever saw. It’s about the pieces of himself he left scattered in every routine he never got to finish. He shifts his weight slightly, grounding himself. This routine isn’t built for spectacle. It doesn’t chase applause. It’s clean. Honest. Unforgiving in its simplicity. And if this is the last time he performs under Olympic lights—if this is the closing chapter of a decade-long pursuit—then he wants to be the one who chooses how it ends. Not the injury. Not the press. Not the silence. He takes one last glance toward the bleachers. And there you are. Watching. Just like you used to---back then, when his world was still laced with possibility, and your quiet presence was the only constant that ever kept him sane.
And with this last performance—with this one final act—it’s not about the world. It’s not about redemption.
It’s about himself. About stepping onto the ice one final time not to impress, but to release. To mourn. To honour everything this love once was
And maybe—just maybe—it’s for you too. The girl who believed in him before the world knew his name. The one who stayed long after the spotlight dimmed.
He wishes he could say that. Wishes he could turn and tell you: This is for you.
But Sunghoon has never been fluent in the language of declarations.
So instead, he skates, The music begins—something classical, restrained, just a touch mournful—and Sunghoon moves. No flourish. No dramatic opening gesture. Just a quiet push forward, blades slicing into the ice with the same precision you remember from years ago. But this time, there’s something different. There’s stillness in him. Control so complete it doesn’t scream—it whispers. He doesn’t rush. Doesn’t force it. He lets the music carry him, lets the silence in the arena wrap around him like a second skin. One edge. Then the next. Arms extended, posture flawless, his body slicing through space like he belongs to it. His first jump—a quad toe loop. Clean. Effortless. His landing doesn’t so much hit the ice as it touches it. The blade barely sings as it connects. The motion is seamless, and for a second, no one breathes. Not the judges. Not the staff. Not even the other skaters who’ve trained beside him years ago and know just how good Sunghoon really is. They fall quiet—everyone does—because what they’re seeing isn’t just a routine.
It’s artistry.
His movements are elegant, measured. Each spin folds perfectly into the next, centre tight, shoulders relaxed, neck lengthened. His step sequence flows like water—no excess, no hesitation. And then the triple axel—the jump that sidelined him years ago—comes out of nowhere.
He lands it perfectly.
Not a wobble. Not a check. Not even a breath out of place.
Someone in the stands exhales sharply, as if they forgot they were holding their breath. One of the younger skaters watching from behind the boards drops their phone in shock. Even the coaches—stoic, experienced, always hard to impress—exchange glances. Subtle, but wide-eyed. No one expected this. Not from someone who hasn’t competed in years. Not from someone they assumed was skating on borrowed time. But there he is. Moving like the ice never betrayed him. Like the injury never happened. Like he’s not returning from anything, but arriving exactly where he belongs. The closing spin begins—slow, low, deliberate. He lowers into a final sit spin so clean it looks animated, the motion a perfect blur. Then he rises, centres himself, and ends in silence. No dramatic bow. No fist in the air. Just Sunghoon. Standing still, chest rising, eyes closed. Like he just let go of something he’s been carrying for years. And for a moment—just one—no one claps. Not because it wasn’t brilliant. But because brilliance demands reverence. The applause comes late. Staggered. And then all at once. But even then, it feels too small for what they just witnessed. Because what Sunghoon gave them wasn’t just a performance. It was a goodbye disguised as grace.
The moment the tryouts conclude, the applause still echoing faintly in your ears, you don’t hesitate. You’re already halfway down the stands before your brain catches up with your legs. You weave through rows of folding seats, shoulder past lingering staff and curious onlookers, scanning the crowd of skaters, coaches, and judges now spilling onto the ice and rinkside floor. Your heart is racing. Not from excitement. From urgency. Like if you don’t find him now, this moment—his moment—might slip away before you get to say anything. And then you spot him. Near the far side of the rink, his posture relaxed now, his jacket back on and unzipped. He’s speaking to someone. You recognise the man instantly: Coach Im, his university coach. Stern but warm. Always had a thermos in hand and a stopwatch around his neck, even when he wasn’t timing anyone. You saw him often—back when you used to sit through Sunghoon’s practice sessions, bundled in jackets, pretending to read while keeping your eyes on the ice. Sunghoon laughs at something the coach says, his shoulders shaking with a lightness you haven’t seen in years. You feel something stir in your chest as you step closer. Coach Im spots you first. His eyes light up in recognition as you approach, his voice lifting cheerfully over the din. “Oh hey—isn’t this Y/N?” he says, clapping a hand on Sunghoon’s shoulder. “So lovely to see that the two of you are still going strong!” The words hit you like an unexpected gust of wind, warm and jarring all at once. Sunghoon startles slightly, glancing quickly in your direction with wide eyes—like even he didn’t see that coming. You blink, then laugh—just a breath, soft and awkward. “Oh, um… it’s not like that. We’re not—” But Sunghoon doesn’t say anything right away. He just looks at you. Not surprised. Not embarrassed. Just… thoughtful. A crease forming between his brows like he’s considering what to say next—if he should say anything at all. Coach Im looks between the two of you, clearly confused, then lets out a warm chuckle. “Either way, it’s good to see you again. I remember you always being there in the bleachers during Sunghoon’s training sessions. It was nice knowing he had someone by his side. Kept him grounded, you know?” You smile politely, heart doing a strange little dance in your chest. And as the coach excuses himself to greet someone else, you and Sunghoon are left in a bubble of silence.
Just like old times. Only now, everything feels different.
And yet—somehow—exactly the same.
You clear your throat, stepping a little closer, nerves fluttering at the base of your spine. "Hey, I just wanted to—"
"I'm sorry, Y/N," Sunghoon cuts in, his tone gentle but clipped. He avoids your gaze, already half-turning away. "I promised to meet some old friends from uni to catch up."
You pause. Blinking. The words take a second to land.
"Oh. Right. Yeah," you say, forcing a small smile as you nod, even though your chest tightens. "I'll... see you around?"
"I'll text you, yeah?" he offers, already moving backwards, already fading into the crowd.
You nod again, slower this time. "Huh? Oh. Yeah. Okay." And just like that, he’s gone. Swallowed up by the familiar buzz of coaches, skaters, and congratulations. You stand there a beat longer than you should, the cold of the rink creeping back into your fingertips. The moment you thought you were chasing slips quietly through your hands—unfinished. And all you can do is exhale. Pretend it doesn’t sting. Pretend it isn’t you who’s waiting for him again—who’s standing here with something halfway between closure and hope tangled in your chest. You tell yourself it’s fine. That he skated beautifully. That this day wasn’t about you. But beneath all that composure, you feel it—the ache of almost. Because maybe you expected too much. Or maybe, for a second, you forgot you were just someone he let in again—not someone he kept.
But the truth is, Sunghoon didn’t know how to face you without tearing up. Didn’t know how to walk toward you without pulling you into his arms and asking you to stay, to say something—anything—that might ground him after what just happened on the ice. But the moment Coach Im said your name, smiled like it was still you and him, like time hadn't split everything in half, Sunghoon panicked. Because he’s not sure what this is. Not yet. And he’s not sure you’re open to confronting it, either—whatever it is, this delicate thing hanging between you like a conversation neither of you has found the courage to start. Maybe he read too much into your eyes during warm-up. Maybe the way you looked at him wasn’t about wanting him back. Maybe it was just nostalgia—soft, forgiving, but not something you wanted to carry forward. Maybe you were just proud of him. Maybe you were just letting go. He doesn’t blame you. Because deep down, Sunghoon knows he never really forgave himself for the way things ended—for the silence, the confusion, the months where he let you carry the weight of a love he couldn't name, let alone hold properly. He knows he hurt you in the worst way: by making you feel like you had to ask to be chosen. And though time has passed, and the ache has dulled, another part of him still isn’t sure—still isn't confident—that he’s capable of giving you the kind of love you deserve. But then again—this. This miscommunication. This habit of circling around instead of stepping in. This assumption of what he thinks you want—what you don’t want—it’s what drove the two of you apart in the first place. All the things he never said. All the things you tried to. All the maybes that built a house out of hesitation and called it home. He thought silence would spare you. You thought silence meant indifference. And somewhere along the way—between protecting and pretending, between misreading and mistiming—you both forgot how to meet in the middle.
And now here you are again.
You, still waiting.
Him, still too afraid to walk closer.
Each of you assuming the other doesn’t want more. Each of you convincing yourselves that almost is close enough.
Even when it never was. Even when it never could be.
And as usual, the text he promised never really came. At first, you gave him the benefit of the doubt—told yourself he was probably just busy, caught up in post-tryout formalities, in media briefings, in reconnecting with old friends or navigating the aftermath of a performance that stunned everyone in the arena. But deep down, you knew the silence wasn’t unfamiliar. It never had been. After all, the foundation of your relationship in those final months was built on this same cycle Sunghoon giving just enough. Just enough warmth, just enough apology, just enough softness to keep you waiting—to keep you hoping that maybe if you held on a little longer, he’d choose you fully, finally, without hesitation. And you—God, you—with your foolish heart that had only ever known how to love in full measure, never halfway, never with one foot out the door—you waited. You waited like you always did. And maybe that’s why, when the Korean Skating Union releases the official roster of Olympic athletes and his name is printed boldly at the very top—like it never left, like it was always meant to be there—something in you shifts. You feel it, a spark lighting in your chest, sharp and sudden and wild, and before you’ve even thought it through, you’re already reaching for your coat, already grabbing your keys, already walking out the door with your heart hammering too loudly in your chest. You could’ve texted him. Could’ve called. Could’ve sent a simple message like “congratulations,” could’ve played it safe the way people do when they’re pretending not to care as much as they do. But you don’t. Because something in you needs to see him—needs to see his face, his eyes, the way he stands now that the weight is off his shoulders, now that he’s done it, now that he’s reclaimed skating the way he always wanted to. Because if any part of what you shared still matters—if any part of him still looks at you the way he used to—you want to be there to see it. Not through a screen. Not in a message thread that never starts.
But in person.
So you go. Because maybe this time, you're done waiting.
You stand just inside the entrance of the skating arena, the cold air hitting your skin like a memory. The official delegation is supposed to make a public appearance today—an Olympic tradition of sorts. Which means Sunghoon should be here. Somewhere. Your eyes scan the crowd. Clusters of athletes in sleek national jackets, coaches and press weaving through them like old threads. But it doesn’t take long before you spot him. Tucked away in a corner, half-shadowed by the edge of the bleachers. He’s deep in conversation with one of the national Olympic coaches—Coach Baek, if you remember correctly. The older man’s expression is tight, gestures sharp with frustration. You can’t hear what’s being said, but the energy between them is tense. Sunghoon stands there, arms crossed, nodding slowly, his jaw tight but unreadable. He doesn’t argue. Doesn’t flinch. Just listens. When the coach finally exhales, the tension softens—barely. A few more words are exchanged, and then a hand lands on Sunghoon’s shoulder, firm and final. A goodbye, or maybe a warning softened into encouragement. Then the coach walks away. And as Sunghoon turns slightly to see him off—shoulders still drawn tight from the conversation—his eyes land on you. You freeze for half a second, caught mid-step, unsure whether to wave, speak, or turn back the way you came. But before the indecision fully settles, he starts toward you, closing the distance with a familiarity that shouldn’t feel as natural as it does.
“Hey,” he says, breath a little visible in the rink’s chill. “I was just about to call you.” You arch a brow, tilting your head. “You were?” His mouth lifts, half a smile, half something else you can’t quite name. “Yeah,” he says quietly, like he’s testing the weight of his own words. You cough, trying to mask the genuine surprise, and maybe joy in your tone. “What was that about? He looked like he was about to throw you back into juniors. Training hasn’t even started and you’re already pissing the coach off?” Sunghoon laughs, and for a second, it lightens his whole face. “Yeah… about that…” You narrow your eyes. “What now?” He takes a small breath, then meets your eyes. “What do you think about writing another exclusive?” You blink. Once. Twice. “What, that you made the Olympic team? That’s hardly exclusive.” His smile fades into something more serious. “No, that’s not it.” You watch him carefully now. “I’m retiring.” Your breath catches. “What? When?” “Effective immediately,” he smiles as he says. “I’ve officially pulled out of the Olympic delegation.”
You just stare at him, stunned. “But—Sunghoon. You worked so hard for this. Recovery took years. You’ve been training nonstop—” “I know,” he says, not unkindly, but firm. “And that’s exactly why.” You’re still trying to catch up, your brain scrambling to make sense of it. “I don’t understand. Then why did you go through the tryouts? Why fight so hard just to walk away?” He exhales, like he’s been carrying the answer for a while. “Because I needed to know it was still there. The feeling.” His eyes meet yours, steady. “I wanted to remember what it felt like to skate—not for medals, not for judges, not for anyone else—but just for me. To feel that I could still love it, even if it no longer loved me back the same way.” Then, softer—almost apologetically—he adds, “I’ll never be able to skate like I used to, Y/N. I’ve already accepted that.” It hits you then—that his silence, the tension with the coach, the performance that felt too clean, too perfect—it was all part of a farewell. You’re quiet for a moment. “So this was… what? A planned goodbye?” He nods once, steady. “Maybe not from the beginning. But somewhere along the way, yeah. I think I knew I needed to end it on my terms. Not when the pain told me to. Not when the judges did. When I decided it was enough.” “But—skating. It meant the world to you—” Your voice comes out softer than you expect, the disbelief tangled with something else. Not anger. Not disappointment. Just the ache of watching someone walk away from something that once lit them up from the inside out. Ironic, since you were once someone that lit him up—maybe still is. Sunghoon doesn’t flinch. He just looks at you, eyes steady, voice calm in a way that tells you he’s already made peace with it. “It did,” he pauses, breath curling in the cold, as if he's choosing his next words carefully. And in that moment, you realise that his performance wasn’t a comeback. It was a love letter.
And a goodbye. “Which is why,” he continues, quieter now, “this is the last thing I can do for myself. To leave it the way I want to. I didn’t want my last memory of skating to be hospitals, setbacks, or walking away because I had no choice. I want to remember it the way I’ve always loved it. For what it gave me. For who I was when I first stepped on the ice.” And you’re hit with a painful ache in your chest as he says it—sharp, sudden, the kind that lodges itself between your ribs and blooms quietly like grief. Because if this is the ending he chose for skating—on his own terms, with love and clarity and closure—then what about you? Where is your ending?
Where is your closure? The question surges up before you can catch it, before you can bury it under composure or timing or pride—and it spills out of you, raw and quiet and too honest. “In that case, what do you remember me by?” Sunghoon freezes. His shoulders tense, breath catching so subtly that only someone who’s known him—really known him—would notice. “Y/N…” he says, and you can hear it in his voice—how he didn’t expect that. How he doesn't know what to do with it. You didn’t even realise you’d said it out loud. The weight of it lingers in the air between you, heavy, uninvited. You straighten your posture, instinct snapping back into place. Professional. Controlled. Detached, even if your pulse is anything but. “I should go,” you say briskly, already taking a step back. “I’ll email your management the article draft. Or… do I not need to?” He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out fast enough. “Anyway,” you continue, your voice clipped but polite, a shield you know too well, “feel free to have your assistant text me. Thanks.” You don’t wait for his reply. You turn. And this time, you’re the one walking away from something that once lit you up from the inside out. Even if it hurts to do it. Even if every step feels like it’s tearing something open again. Because you can’t keep standing in spaces where you’re only half-held, half-answered, half-remembered. That evening, you write the article. You sit at your desk long after the sun has dipped below the skyline, long after the city has quieted into its nighttime hush, and you start typing with steady fingers—trying, desperately, to be as professional as you can be. Because this is big news. A world-class athlete pulling out of the Olympic delegation at the peak of national anticipation. A retirement no one saw coming. It’s the kind of journalism that gets you recognised. That fills portfolios and lands bylines in places that matter. But none of that crosses your mind. Because all you can think about—despite the ache still blooming in your chest, despite the lingering bitterness of unanswered questions and things left unsaid—is how to honour him. You still feel the weight of him on the page. Still feel the obligation to present him in the best light. To tell the truth, yes, but also the quiet parts—the parts no one else saw. The discipline. The years of pain. The choice to walk away, not out of defeat, but dignity. You write him with care. With empathy. With the kind of understanding that only someone who once stood in the inner orbit of his world could ever give. And no matter how hard you try, you can’t stop your heart from leaking into the words. Because telling his story means telling yours, too. Not the public version. Not the headlines. But the quiet history of two people who once thought love alone would be enough. The version of you that sat in cold arenas, waiting for him to look up. The version of him that carried the weight of a dream too heavy for his body to bear. The version of both of you that was too young, too scared, too stubborn to survive it back then. It’s almost midnight when you finish the piece. And when you read it back, you realise it’s not just about skating.
It never was.
It’s about letting go of something beautiful—not because it wasn’t enough, but because it ran its course. And for the first time, you understand what he meant.
To end it your way.
To remember the love, not the loss.
So you click send.
And in doing so, you decide—quietly—to let it go.
To let him go.
Ms Yoon (PA): Reporter Kang sent over the article draft. PR said it was good, but thought you might want to read it for yourself. [Attachment: 1 File]
Sunghoon is mid-workout when the message comes in. His hands are chalked, his hoodie damp with sweat, breath still recovering from his last set of strength drills. The notification buzzes faintly against the speaker where his phone sits docked, half-muted beneath the beat of the music pulsing through the rink’s private training gym. He almost ignores it—figures it’s a reminder or scheduling update—until he catches the preview of the sender’s name: Ms. Yoon. He wipes his palms on a towel, walks over, and unlocks his phone, chest still rising and falling in slow recovery. The file is there, bold and unopened. His fingers hover over the screen a moment longer than they should, suspended in a strange quiet. He’s not sure what he’s expecting to feel. Pride? Closure? Guilt, maybe. But whatever it is, he taps the file. And begins to read.
FINAL DRAFT [MANIFESTO EXCLUSIVE] The Final Bow: Park Sunghoon Withdraws from Olympic Delegation and Announces Retirement By Kang Y/N, Manifesto Daily . . . . . In related news, Park’s withdrawal comes just days after the delegation announcement, and in his place, 19-year-old rising star Han Jihoon has been selected to represent Korea in the men’s singles category. Han, who placed fourth at the national tryouts, is widely regarded as one of the most technically gifted athletes of his generation, with a growing fanbase and a reputation for innovation on the ice.
As for Park Sunghoon, he leaves behind a legacy not of statistics, but of stillness. Of dignity. Of skating that always seemed to say what words could not.
His career was never loud. But it was unforgettable.
Goodbye, Park Sunghoon, And thank you for everything you didn’t have to say.
Before he knows it, he’s halfway out the door—keys clenched in one hand, the other rapidly typing a message to his assistant.
Sunghoon: Do you happen to know Y/N’s address? Forward it to me asap. Thanks.
The article is still echoing in his head, playing back in quiet waves he can’t shut out. Lines that hit too close. Lines that cracked open things he thought he’d buried for good. Words that sounded like truths he never gave you the space—or the safety—to say out loud. Because was it just him—or did your article sound like a defeat? Not the kind written in bitterness, but in surrender. An epiphany dressed in grace. Like you had finally laid everything down—your hope, your waiting, your quiet what-ifs—and decided that telling his story was the only closure you were ever going to get. His heart pounds harder now than it did during his entire workout. Not from strain. From urgency. From the sudden, all-consuming fear that he might be too late—too late to explain, to show up, to fix the way silence unraveled everything. Too late to ask for something he didn’t know he was still allowed to want. Something that had always lingered just beyond his reach—not because it wasn’t there, but because he never dared to reach out and take it. That you were still willing to give after all these years, If only he had asked. If only he had trusted that maybe, just maybe, love wasn’t about timing or pride or silence—but about the courage to choose it anyway. And now, with your words still ringing in his head and the ache of what-ifs pressing into his ribs, he runs. Because for the first time in a long time, he isn’t afraid of falling. He’s afraid of missing the chance to fall with you. A notification lights up his screen, and it’s from his assistant—your full address, no questions asked.
Sunghoon doesn’t waste a second. He tosses his phone onto the passenger seat, starts the engine, and drives like his heart’s pacing him—fast, frantic, barely keeping rhythm. The city blurs past in streaks of gold and grey, and his knuckles grip the steering wheel like it’s the only thing holding him together. By the time he reaches your apartment, he doesn’t bother fixing his hair, or the way his hoodie clings to him, soaked from sweat and adrenaline. Or the fact that its well-past midnight and he’s here at your apartment building. He takes the stairs two at a time, too restless for the lift, too afraid the silence will make him second-guess what he’s come here to say. You open the door mid-knock, eyes wide, mouth parting in surprise. “Sunghoon?” your voice is a mix of concern and disbelief. “How did you know I lived here?” You stare at him, bewildered, heart stammering against your ribs. He looks at you like you’re not real. Like he’s been chasing something impossible and suddenly, impossibly, it’s standing right in front of him. There’s yearning in his eyes—raw and unguarded—and when he takes a step closer, you notice it. The limp. Subtle, but there. “Did you run here? God—your injury—” But you don’t get to finish. Because he closes the distance and pulls you into him—arms wrapping around you in one fluid, desperate motion, like his body moved before his mind could catch up. There are no words. No explanations. Just the solid, trembling weight of him anchoring himself to you, like he’s been carrying the absence of this moment for too long, and can no longer bear it. You stand frozen, caught off guard by the heat of him, the quiet urgency in his embrace, the way he fits against you like he’s spent the past four years trying to unlearn the shape of this—and failing. “Sunghoon,” you say, your voice fragile, unsteady, trembling at the edge of disbelief. “What are you—?” But he doesn’t let go. “Don’t leave me,” he chokes out, the words low and fractured, muffled into the fabric of your t-shirt. You feel his breath at the side of your neck before you hear his next words. “Please…” You feel it then—how hard he’s shaking. How tightly his fingers clutch at the back of your shirt like a lifeline. The weight of his body pressed against yours isn’t just exhaustion—it’s grief, longing, guilt—all of it simmering under the surface and spilling out in a single, vulnerable plea. Your hands hover awkwardly at your sides, unsure where they’re allowed to go. Unsure if they’re still his to reach for. And somehow, that hesitation—your silence, that flicker of doubt—it splits something open inside him. “I’ll wait,” he blurts suddenly, pulling back just enough so he can look you in the eye. His own are red-rimmed, glassy, but there’s a sharp kind of clarity there too. “I’ll wait for you, Y/N.” “Sunghoon…” you whisper, your voice unsteady, caught somewhere between confusion and something that feels dangerously close to hope. “Where is this coming from?” His chest is rising and falling against yours, uneven. He swallows hard, and you see it—the way his jaw flexes like he’s trying to keep himself steady. His eyes flicker, not away from you, but like he’s searching for the words he’s never learned how to say out loud. His breath catches once, then again, before he finally forces himself to speak. “I read the article,” he says, quiet but clear. And immediately, you understand. Because you know exactly what part he’s referring to—not the skating analysis, not the announcement of his retirement. He means the parts laced with goodbye. The parts where your words stopped being objective and became soft, tired farewells tucked between the lines that only he would recognise. It was a goodbye to skating. But more pressingly—for Sunghoon—it read like a goodbye to him.
“Let go—” you start, trying to get some space, to breathe, to make sense of the tangle you’ve both fallen into. But his grip only tightens. “That article—” You pause, biting down the rush of emotion rising in your throat. “That article wasn’t meant to change anything.” “I know,” he says, his arms still around you. “But it did. It made me realise just how much I’ve tried to pretend I could move on from you.” You freeze. Not because you don’t understand him, but because you do. Too well. And that terrifies you.
“Let go,” you say quietly, voice strained, like you need to put space between you before you drown in everything he’s saying. “Just… let go so we can talk.” He hesitates, then releases you with reluctance, his hands falling to his sides like he doesn’t know what to do with them now that they aren’t holding you. You catch the way his shoulders rise, tense and uneasy. How his hands shake slightly at his sides. And when he blinks, that’s when you see it—his eyes glossing over, the shimmer of something threatening to spill. “I never stopped loving you,” he says, his voice cracking at the edges. “Even when I left. Even when I convinced myself it was better that way. I still loved you. I just… didn’t know how to be with you and still be okay with myself.” “Now suddenly you’ve figured it all out?” you ask, and the bitterness in your tone surprises even you. But it’s real. You’re not trying to punish him—you’re just scared. Scared of falling back into something that once left you hollow. “No,” he says immediately, and there’s no defensiveness in his voice—just quiet truth. “Not suddenly. But I’ve had time. And space. And it turns out neither of those things taught me how to forget you, Y/N.” You look at him—really look—and it hits you just how much effort it’s taking him to say these things. How his shoulders are drawn tight, how he can’t keep still, how his fingers twitch like they want to ball into fists but won’t. He’s not used to this—exposing himself, risking the quiet between you. And you hate how much you want to believe him. How even now, your heart betrays you by leaping at his words, melting at the sound of your name in his mouth like it still belongs there. You press your lips together, trying to swallow the ache building in your throat. You want to scream, to cry, to ask why he’s doing this now—why he always waits until it’s too late. Why he only finds the words once your heart’s already been rearranged around his absence. But all that comes out is, “You’re saying everything I wanted to hear back then, Sunghoon. But that’s the thing—it’s back then. I’m not the same girl you remember. I’m not the girl who was always waiting for you to show up.” And yet, even as the words leave your mouth, you know that was a blatant lie. Because the truth is, you were that girl. For far longer than you’d ever admit.
“You asked me then,” he starts, voice barely above a whisper, “What do I remember you by.” You freeze. It’s not the sentence itself that gets you—it’s the way he says it. Careful. Almost reverent. Like the question has been haunting him all this time, long after you threw it into the air thinking it would vanish unanswered. “I remember you as the girl who poured her entire heart into everything she touched—your academics, your friendships… me, even after I left for Spain. You were relentless in the way you showed up for people, even when they didn’t always know how to show up for you.” He doesn’t look at you immediately. His gaze drifts somewhere over your shoulder, like the weight of the memory is too tender to hold eye contact just yet. Your heart clenches. You hate how easily those memories come flooding back—the all-nighters, the deadlines, the way you clung to structure and control because it was the only thing you could manage while everything with him felt like trying to build a home on sand. “I remember our first day. Freshman orientation. You couldn’t even look at me properly when we got paired up. I thought you hated me,” his lips twitch, faintly, like he’s caught between a smile and something sadder. “But then you offered to carry half the pamphlets because I looked tired from training, and I realised—you were just shy. You were this quiet, nervous girl who still somehow managed to be kind when she was uncomfortable.” Now his eyes return to yours, and there’s something in them that makes your chest ache. He’s remembering you, in detail, like he carried those moments with him even when he left you behind. And that shouldn’t make you feel warm. But it does. And you hate that. “I remember the blush on your cheek when you asked me out for the first time,” he says, smiling faintly. “You were so nervous I thought you were going to change your mind halfway through. But you didn’t. You stood there, eyes wide, hands shaking, and still said it anyway.” You hate how clearly you remember that moment too. The way your heart had raced. The way he smiled at you like you’d surprised him in the best possible way. “I remember you sitting in the bleachers,” he continues. “Head down, focused on your notes, your laptop. But you were watching me, too. Even when you didn’t say anything, you were always there. And God, that meant more than I ever told you.” Your grip tightens over your sleeves, arms crossed to stop your hands from shaking. “I remember how your eyes would light up when you opened those Popmart boxes, like it was magic every single time. You’d show me the little figurine like it was gold. And you’d smile at me like you wanted me to be excited with you. I didn’t always get it. But I remember thinking, I hope she knows how loved she deserves to feel for the rest of her life.” Your eyes sting. He shifts, like the next words are heavier, harder to pull from his chest. “I remember your words,” he says now, gaze locked on yours. ”The ones you gave so freely when I was too buried in pressure to ask for them. I remember your voice when you encouraged me, when you believed in me, when I didn’t believe in myself.” “I remember the warmth of your hugs. I remember the shape of your lips when you kissed me. And everything in between.” His eyes lower for a beat. His tone changes—not dimmer, but honest in a way that hurts.
“And I remember the fights too. The arguments. The silences. The doors that closed too hard, and the words that came out sharper than we meant them to. I remember how frustrated you got. I remember how I pulled away. And I remember that, too—because even those moments mattered. Even those were you loving me in the only way you knew how: by fighting for us.” He looks back at you now, fully, like he’s trying to hand you all of it—every memory, every piece. Your chest tightens, breath caught between inhale and collapse. “You loved me enough to care. Even when it got messy. Even when I made it hard. You cared when I didn’t know how to. You stayed when I didn’t make it easy to be around me.” The tears come then. They track down his cheeks slowly at first, then faster, like something’s come loose inside him that he can’t hold back anymore. He doesn’t wipe them away. He just stands there, crying in front of you like he’s spent years trying not to.
“And I think about that version of us all the time,” he says. “Not just the good. Not just the beautiful. But all of it. The whole you. The real you.” “That’s how I remember you, Y/N. I remember you as the girl who loved me when I didn’t know how to love myself. And even now, I’m still trying to figure out how to be someone who was worthy of all that love."
Your breath catches, but you don’t let it out. Not yet.
Because something in you knows that if you exhale, if you react, you might fall apart entirely.
His words are still hanging in the air, soft but sharp, like silk laced with barbed wire. They’re gentle—but they hurt. Because they’re real. Because they’re him. The him you waited for. The version you wanted to hear from long before all the damage was done. And now he’s here, finally saying all the things you once begged for in silence. And you don’t know what to do with it. You feel a tear slip down your cheek before you even realise it’s there. Your heart is making too much noise in your chest. Every beat sounds like a memory—of those bleacher nights, of ramen cups shared between lectures, of the small, quiet joy of feeling seen, even when he never said it out loud. You remember all those things too.
And that’s the problem.
Because part of you wants to believe it. Wants to step forward. Wants to reach for him and say, I remember you, too. Not the public figure. Not the Ice Prince. But the boy who once laid his head in your lap after a long day and asked you to stay, even if he couldn’t say the words. But another part of you—older now, wearier—pulls back. Because love wasn’t enough the first time. Because his silence hurt. Because you were the one who waited. Who stayed. Who forgave and forgave and slowly lost parts of yourself trying to hold everything together while he figured out who he was without ever asking who you were becoming. And now, here he is. Saying the right things. Crying real tears. Standing still when he used to run. But what does that mean now, when you’ve taught yourself to survive without him? You feel your throat tighten, your arms crossed like a shield, like maybe if you just hold yourself hard enough, the years between you will stop trembling through your spine. You want to speak—but nothing comes out. Because how do you respond to something so tender when all you’ve learned since him is to protect yourself from softness? You blink up at him, your eyes burning, and part of you whispers, He means it this time. And another voice, quieter but steady, asks, But is that enough? So you say nothing for a moment. Just stand there. Your whole body a battlefield between memory and survival. And then, softly, you speak.
“I don’t know what to do with this,” you admit, eyes flicking away from him. “I don’t know how to trust what you’re offering. You hurt me, Sunghoon. You left. And I carried that.” You see the hope falter just a little in his eyes. But he nods. “I’m not asking you to do anything,” he says. “I just… I couldn’t let your words be the last thing between us. I needed you to know that I remember you. That I never stopped loving you.” You don’t respond right away. You don’t know how to. Your heart is loud in your ears, screaming all the things you’re too scared to say. Because this feels like standing on a cliff again, and this time, you’re not sure if there’s anything on the other side to catch you. “I’ll wait,” he says suddenly, voice rough, but steady with something fierce. “If you need time, I’ll give it. If you need space, I’ll step back. But just—please” Your throat tightens. “And what if I don’t have anything left to give you?” “Then I’ll understand,” he says, voice rough. “I’ll carry that. But I had to say it. I had to try. And I know it doesn’t make up for anything, but it’s all I’ve got. I’m standing here, telling you I love you, and I will wait—for however long it takes—because I don’t want to live the rest of my life wondering if you ever would’ve said yes.” And just like that, you feel the air leave your lungs in one long, shaking exhale. Not from panic. Not from pain. But from a bittersweet relief. The sincerity in his voice is unmistakable—stripped bare of pride, of performance, of everything he used to hide behind. This isn’t the Sunghoon who pulled away, who stayed silent when it mattered. This is the boy who finally understands what it means to show up.
After four years of silence, a leg injury that will never truly heal, and a heart broken into a million pieces—yours, his, both—shattered by time, by distance, by everything neither of you had the words to fix back then. And Sunghoon—your Sunghoon, the one who knows you better than you’d like to admit—watches you carefully, like he’s afraid you’ll misinterpret everything he’s just said—afraid you’ll think this is another case of bad timing or misplaced nostalgia. Then, after a long, tentative pause, his voice softens—but there’s no doubt in it. “And I know we already talked about this the other day,” he says, his voice careful. “But just so we’re clear… I need you to hear it again.” You look up, heart thudding as he meets your gaze head-on. “This… us… me being here,” he says slowly, deliberately, “it’s not because skating didn’t work out. It’s not some knee-jerk reaction because the ice stopped being kind to me.” His throat bobs as he swallows, blinking back the weight behind his words. “I fell out of love with skating a long time ago,” he continues, “but I never fell out of love with you, Y/N.” The silence that follows is immediate. Heavy. Because no matter how hard you’ve tried to bury the thought—or pretend it never crossed your mind—it still lingers in the quiet, persistent and sharp: If he hadn’t lost skating… would he have come back at all? But now, with that truth laid bare between you, your breath catches.—and for the first time in a long time, you don’t feel like someone he remembered too late. You don’t feel like the consolation prize. Or the safe fallback.
You feel chosen.
He’s here. He finally ran to you—not out of impulse, not out of guilt, and most certainly not because he had nowhere else to go. But because he wants to stay. In the mess he created. In the aftermath. In whatever comes next.
He made sure to communicate that clearly to you. And for the first time—he’s the one offering to wait. He’s not asking for guarantees. He’s not walking ahead, expecting you to catch up. He’s right here. Meeting you halfway. The same halfway that, truthfully, you’ve never walked away from. Not really. Not fully. Because even in the silence, even in the years you spent convincing yourself you’d moved on, there was always a part of you standing in place—waiting—in every version of yourself you tried to become without him, wondering if he’d ever meet you there. Now he has. And the truth is, you still want him just as much as he wants you. You don’t know the exact moment the clarity came. Maybe it was the way his voice cracked when he said your name, like it physically hurt to speak it aloud. Maybe it was the way he remembered every tiny, unremarkable piece of you—the girl who sat in the bleachers, who lit up at Popmart figurines, who loved so loudly it scared him. Maybe it was the way he cried—openly, without shame—or how he waited for your silence like he was willing to carry whatever your answer might be. But when it hit, it was quiet. Gentle. Unmistakable. You still love him. You never stopped. You tried. God, you really tried. You built a life without him, crafted a version of yourself that didn’t flinch at his name, convinced yourself you were fine—that you could breathe without the weight of his absence crushing your ribs. But even on your best days, there was always that ache. That dull, ever-present ache that no one else ever quite touched. “I’m sorry for making this complicated for you,” Sunghoon says suddenly, voice so soft it nearly gets swallowed by the quiet. “I’ll give you time to think.” He starts to turn away, the line of his shoulders already retreating, his eyes cast to the ground like he’s ready to disappear again. You should say something. But you don’t. You just move—more instinct than anything. One step, then two, and wrap your arms around him from behind like you’re anchoring yourself to the only thing that’s ever felt simultaneously this terrifying and this right. Sunghoon freezes. Completely still. You feel it first in the way his shoulders tense, tension rippling through his body like your touch startles something buried too deep to name—then the slow, excruciating way he exhales, as if he’s been holding his breath the whole time.
You press your forehead lightly into his back. He’s warm. Solid. Real.
Sunghoon shifts, beginning to turn toward you but your grip tightens ever so slightly. “No. Don’t turn around yet,” you say, your voice trembling. “Not yet. Just… listen.” His breath catches again, but he nods, hands limp at his sides, letting you press your heart against the shape of his back like it might finally say all the things your mouth never could. You close your eyes and let the words come—raw and unpolished, everything you’ve buried for far too long. “I hated how you shut down when things got hard between us. I hated how I always had to be the one to reach out, to fix things, to guess what you were feeling when all I wanted was for you to just say it.” His shoulders flinch slightly. You can feel the guilt settle into the line of his spine. His heartbeat picks up, echoing between you like thunder. Still, he doesn’t move. “I hated how you always made decisions on your own—like I wasn’t part of the picture. Like love was something you had to protect me from instead of something we could’ve fought for together.” Your voice cracks on the last word, but you push through. “I hated how you walked away without telling me the truth. How you let me believe I wasn’t worth holding onto.” Your grip loosens as your voice softens. And as you do, Sunghoon’s fingers twitch near yours like he wants to reach for your hand but doesn’t know if he’s allowed.
“And worst of all I hate that even after all of that—after the silence, the heartbreak, the wondering—I still can’t forget you.” His fingers curl slightly, not quite fists, but as if holding himself in place. As if your words are the only thing keeping him from falling apart. “I love the way you lace your skates, the way you scrunch your nose when you laugh, the way you never let go of your childhood dreams even when they broke you. I love how you tried to protect me—even if it hurt. I love how you remember everything about me, even the things I thought didn’t matter. Even the things I was sure you forgot.”
You speak.
“I love how you cuddled me in my sleep—I hate how you let the quiet speak for you. I love how you loved me, even when you didn’t know how to show it. Even when I hate the fact you didn’t know how to show it.”
He listens.
And with every word you spill, every confession you finally give voice to, something in him unknots. His spine softens against you, leaning back into your embrace—just enough for you to feel the weight of him, the way he surrenders to the moment. His heartbeat thrums steadily beneath the fabric of his hoodie, loud and alive where your cheek presses lightly into the space between his shoulder blades. “And I hate how I still love all those parts. The beautiful ones, the difficult ones, the ones that tore me apart.” Sunghoon doesn’t speak right away. Doesn’t even move until he’s sure you’re done. “I never stopped loving you, Sunghoon. That’s the problem.” When you whisper those words, you swear he stops breathing altogether. You feel it rush out of him, like the weight of that truth floors him where he stands. “I don’t need time,” you add, barely audible. “I just needed to be sure this was real. That you were.” You take a shuddering breath, close your eyes, and press your cheek more firmly against him—hoping, in some impossible way, that you can feel him even closer than he already is. “I’m scared,” you admit. “I don’t know how to do this again. I don’t know how to trust what we were, or what we could be. But I know I still care. I know I still want you.” “And I’m tired of pretending I don’t.” God, you want to laugh. Or slap yourself in the face because of how terrifyingly easy it was to believe him again. How a few trembling words and tear-soaked confessions cracked through years of hurt like they were never there to begin with. How your heart, traitorous and stubborn, still knows the shape of him like a story it never stopped rereading. And your stupid, foolish heart—bruised from all the almosts and maybes—is choosing to continue writing that story.
You don’t say anything more.
And that’s when he moves.
Slowly, cautiously, Sunghoon turns in your arms, and the look in his eyes nearly shatters you. Hope. Guilt. Wonder. All of it, all at once. His eyes are glossy, lips parted in disbelief. His hands rise, trembling as he cups your face—so gently, like he’s afraid you’ll slip through his fingers if he blinks. You feel the pulse in his fingertips where his thumb brushes your jaw—still racing, still loud. Like your presence alone is enough to send it surging. Like he’s never been more alive than in this quiet, fragile moment with you. He gently rests his forehead against yours, the space between you shrinking until it barely exists. His hands are trembling, but his touch is impossibly tender—thumb brushing against your cheek, catching a tear, and then another. You hadn’t even realised you were full-blown crying until his fingers found the evidence. And then—just when you think your heart can’t take any more—his next words knock the air from your lungs like a punch and a prayer all at once. “Can I kiss you?” he whispers, voice hoarse and breaking with every syllable. “Please… tell me I still can.” The plea hangs between you, fragile and breathless. His chest is rising and falling in shallow, uneven rhythm, his pulse frantic beneath your fingertips as you reach up—slowly, instinctively—and wrap your fingers around his wrist. You can feel it there: the raw, aching thrum of his heartbeat, louder than words. Like your touch alone is enough to undo him. He’s never looked more vulnerable. Never more real. There’s no mask, no distance, no practiced calm—just him. Just Sunghoon, standing in front of you with nothing left to offer but his whole heart, held out in both hands. You let out a shaky breath, the corners of your lips lifting despite the tears still wet on your skin. And then—soft, quiet, but certain—you say, “Yes.”
As soon as the word leaves your lips—soft, breathless, and trembling with everything you’ve held back for years—Sunghoon moves. There’s no hesitation. No time wasted. The moment he hears your yes, he closes the distance like a man starved for something he thought he’d never taste again. His hands frame your face with a yearning so delicate it makes your heart ache. And then—he’s kissing you. It isn’t hurried or rough. It’s deep and devastating, like an apology and a promise all wrapped into one. Like he’s trying to pour four years of silence, of longing, of every missed chance into a single touch. He kisses you like it’s the first time and the last time all at once. And you—god, you melt into it. Into him. Into the feeling of home rediscovered, of time folding in on itself. Your fingers find their way into the hem of his hoodie, clinging onto him like you’re afraid he might vanish if you let go. But he doesn’t.
He stays.
And so do you. When you finally find it in you to pull away, you do so slowly—reluctantly—as if your body hasn’t quite caught up with your mind yet. As if some part of you still isn’t ready to let go. Your foreheads stay pressed together, breath mingling in the narrow space between you, warm and uneven. You’re both breathless. Messy. His hair is damp at the edges, your cheeks are flushed, and your eyes sting with the remnants of unshed tears. His thumb lingers at your jaw, gently tracing the skin as if to memorise the feel of you all over again. You feel the tremble in his breath when he exhales, feel the soft thud of his heart still racing beneath your fingertips. He doesn’t speak right away. Neither do you. Because in that moment, there’s nothing to say that could possibly match the weight of what just passed between you. You’d been broken once. Both of you. But right now—in this quiet, tangled stillness—it feels like the pieces are finally trying to come back together. You lean in again, lips parted, drawn to him like gravity—like your heart still hasn’t had enough. But just as your breath brushes against his skin, he gently places a hand on your shoulder and eases you back. The moment stalls. You blink, startled. A flicker of panic rises in your chest—was this a mistake? Did he change his mind? But then he smiles. Soft. Steady. The kind of smile that anchors you. He pulls you into his arms, wrapping you tight against his chest, one hand cradling the back of your head like he’s afraid you’ll shatter if he holds you any less carefully. “Believe me,” he murmurs into your hair, voice thick with restraint, “I want you so bad.” He pulls back just enough to look at you, thumb tracing your cheek, his gaze unbearably tender. “But not like this. Not when your heart’s still racing and your thoughts are a blur. I don’t want this to be another moment we look back on and wonder if it was real.” His forehead rests gently against yours again, breath fanning over your lips. You’re stunned by his honesty—by the weight of his restraint, the care in his voice. And you can’t help but compare him to the Sunghoon from four years ago. The boy who never quite knew how to sit still in the presence of raw emotion, who’d grown so used to skating past vulnerability that he forgot how to let someone in.
Back then, he would’ve kissed you anyway. Not out of selfishness, but out of fear—fear of the silence that might follow, fear of what waiting might reveal. He didn’t know how to confront intimacy without flinching. But this—this Sunghoon in front of you now—isn’t running from the stillness. He’s standing in it. Letting the quiet settle between you like a promise. He’s not rushing. He’s not deflecting. He’s choosing you with intention. “I want to do this right. Slow, if that’s what it takes. With all of you—not just the part that’s still reeling from the fall. ” You nod. “You can stay the night if you like… on the couch, of course.” He grins, eyes flickering with something fond, something teasing—but there's warmth behind it, restraint. “Starting from ground zero, I see.” He lets out a breath, gentle and steady. “I’m grateful. Really. But I won’t overstay tonight. I think…” he pauses, gaze dropping to the floor for a brief second before finding you again, more grounded now, “I think we both have some thinking to do too. And frankly speaking, if you look at me like that any longer, I might actually lose my shit.” You laugh, soft and disbelieving, the sound muffled by the sleeve you raise to your mouth. And as much as your heart aches to keep him close, to fall back into the comfort of familiarity, you both know tonight can’t be about slipping into old rhythms too soon. Not when everything between you is still new and fragile in its honesty. He reaches out and brushes a hand over your arm. “Let me put you to sleep,” he says, voice lower now, softer. “And then I’ll go.” And you don’t fight him on it. Because for the first time, he isn’t leaving to run. He’s leaving to give you room to choose. The moment your head hits the pillow, and you feel his lips press a gentle kiss to your forehead, your body sinks into the mattress like it's exhaling. You're not sure if it's the exhaustion from everything that’s unravelled between you earlier, or the undeniable familiarity of having him close again—his scent, his warmth, the quiet hum of his breath near yours—but sleep finds you almost instantly. It's as if your body remembers him. Trusts him.
Sunghoon lingers. He sits by the edge of your bed, watching the rise and fall of your chest, the soft creases of worry smoothing out from your brow now that you're resting. A small, breathy chuckle escapes him as he leans down, brushing a few strands of hair from your face. “So peaceful,” he whispers, almost to himself, “and still somehow managing to look like you carry the weight of the world.” He stays a second longer than he should. Maybe two. And then, quietly, he stands to leave—only to catch the soft glow of your laptop screen still open on your desk. He walks over, intending to shut it, give you the rest you deserve. But as his eyes flicker toward the screen, he recognises the subject line immediately. It's the email to your editor. The article draft. The cursor blinks steadily at the end of the draft—the same paragraph that started it all. Goodbye, Park Sunghoon, And thank you for everything you didn’t have to say.| The words land like a quiet echo in his chest. He glances back at your sleeping form on the bed, a faint, solemn smile tugging at his lips. Then he turns, quietly taking a seat at your desk. His fingers hover above the keyboard for a moment. And then—backspace. Letter by letter, he deletes the final paragraph. In its place, he types slowly. Carefully. Like each word is a stitch trying to mend what’s been frayed for too long. When he’s done, he hovers for a moment, rereading every word—then clicks “Send.” The email spins off toward your editor. He stands, casts one last look in your direction, and quietly lets himself out.
The next morning, you wake groggy but oddly clear-headed, like your body is still catching up to the storm of feelings it weathered the night before. The room is quiet. Sunlight spills in softly through the blinds, casting golden slats across your blanket. For a moment, you wonder if any of it was real—if he really came, really stood in your doorway, cried in your arms, asked to kiss you like it meant everything. But the slight indent on the couch cushion. The mug he used. The scent that still lingers faintly in the air—all of it confirms: he was here. It was real. Your heart thumps at the memory, but it’s interrupted by a harsh vibration rattling on your nightstand. You blink at your phone, screen flooded with notifications—dozens of missed calls, texts, and pings from your editorial team.
Chase headlines, not men. Catch exclusives, not feelings. ✍️
Yunah: @/you I know you're off today, but I just wanted to say CONGRATS on your story!! See, I knew you could pull this off. [Attached: 1 Link]
Moka: The internet is LOSING it over the article!!!
Minju: Still can’t believe you landed exclusive on top of exclusive with Park Sunghoon. Legend behaviour.
Yunah: I’m equally shocked he’s been hiding that injury all this time 😭
Minju: I don’t want to stress you out but… our public inbox is full of people sending selfies of themselves crying. Literal tears.
Moka: I mean did you READ that last paragraph??? I sobbed too.
You blink at your phone, stunned. Messages keep pouring in—some from colleagues you barely know, others from strangers outside your publication, all echoing the same thing: the article hit them hard. Which is… strange. Because you don’t remember sending the draft. Brows furrowed, you scroll up through your texts until you find the link Yunah sent. You tap it. The article is live. You hold your breath as you read through the byline—your name, front and centre. The formatting. The intro you agonised over. The quotes, the story, the soul of it. And then you scroll to the end. A smile tugs at your lips, and you pull up your chat with Sunghoon.
You: [Attached: 1 Screenshot] Was this your doing?
His reply is almost instant.
Sunghoon: Good morning :) Maybe? PR said they wanted to switch it up.
You: And by PR you mean... you?
Sunghoon: 😂 I meant every word. It’s what I wanted to say to you and to the world. Why… was it too corny? I’m sorry if I overstepped.
You bite your lip, heart stupidly fluttering as you reread his words.
You: No no. Just kinda mad I didn’t think of that myself 🙄
Sunghoon: Well, you can’t beat years of media training 🤷♂️
You: Sunghoon, I WORK for the media…
He replies almost immediately, like he’s been waiting for your comeback.
Sunghoon: Let me make it up to you for one-upping you. Dinner tonight? My treat.
Your fingers hover over the keyboard for a beat before you reply.
You: I would not accept otherwise.
You set the phone down, unable to contain the quiet laugh that escapes you. Because despite everything—the heartbreak, the years apart, the mess of it all—you’ve never felt more like you were exactly where you were meant to be.
The two of you walk slowly along the riverbank, hands gently entwined, his thumb occasionally sweeping across your knuckles like he's still making sure you're real. The evening is still, like even the world has paused to listen. A breeze brushes past, gentle and cool, carrying the scent of spring and something sweet that lingers—something that smells like beginnings.
You glance down at your interlocked fingers, how naturally they fall into place—like no time has passed at all. The rhythm of your footsteps syncs without effort, the silence between you not heavy, but full. Comfortable. Honest. Familiar in all the ways that matter.
“This feels like our first date,” you say, smiling without meaning to, the corners of your lips tugged by something warm and indescribable.
He laughs under his breath, a soft, breathy sound that makes your heart swell. “Maybe it is,” he replies. “The first one where I finally know what I’m doing.”
You don’t reply. Not because you have nothing to say, but because every part of this moment already says it for you.
The sky above is endless, dark velvet speckled with stars. The world moves quietly around you—boats drifting in the distance, couples passing by, the faint sound of laughter from a nearby cafe. But for the first time in a long time, it doesn’t feel like you’re watching it all from behind a glass wall. You’re here. Present. With him.
And he’s here too—really here, not as a shadow of a memory, not as someone you're chasing or mourning. But as a man who's finally choosing to stay beside you.
And you think—if the world ended right now, if the river froze and time stopped still—you would not ask for more than this. Not more than his hand in yours, his voice low beside you, his presence finally steady after years of disappearing acts and empty spaces.
You look at him—not the athlete, not the headline, not the boy who once walked away—but the man who returned with no armour, no excuses, only truths. Who stood in front of you trembling, terrified, and still chose to stay. And when you speak, your voice is quiet but certain.
“You could’ve come back with promises, with charm, with all the right words at the wrong time. But you didn’t.”
There’s a small beat of silence where he stops walking and you do too, feet planted at the edge of the path where the river glistens. He faces you fully now, his hand still holding yours.
“You came back to me with everything I ever needed,” you continue.
He opens his mouth, but no words come—just the subtle tremble of his chin, the storm of emotions flickering behind his eyes. You take a step closer, pressing your forehead against his, feeling his breath shudder out as though even now, this is too much to believe.
“This,” he says, almost to himself, “is what I should’ve fought for back then.”
"All that matters is you are now," you whisper. "You left, and then you learned. You grew. And then you came back.”
And that’s the difference. That’s everything.
This isn’t about returning to the past. This is about two people, standing in the aftermath of everything they weren’t ready for then, finally finding each other in a version of the world where they are. Choosing to begin again—not from scratch, but from everything they’ve carried and learned and lived through.
His hand stays in yours, steady and warm, like a vow made without words.
You kiss him.
And this time, the kiss isn’t a promise or an apology. It’s not an act of desperation or regret. It’s a homecoming.
It tastes like relief. Like forgiveness. Like all the years that tried to pull you apart finally surrendering to the truth that you were always meant to find your way back.
When you pull away, he doesn’t say anything right away. He just holds you closer, like letting go would unravel the universe itself.
You rest your head on his shoulder, and in that embrace—quiet and undramatic, warm and steady—you finally understand what it means to be loved not just in the way you wanted, but in the way you deserved.
Because he loves you now in the way that matters most.
Not as the boy who left. Not as the echo of a love lost to time. But as the man who finally came back to put every broken piece back together with his own hands.
This isn’t the love you spent years waiting for.
It’s the love he had to fight to grow into. The kind born from mistakes, shaped by time, and strengthened through absence. It’s messy. Flawed. Earned. Real.
It's the kind of love that's loud in his words as much as it is in his presence.
It’s the kind of love that sees all of you. Not just the polished, loveable parts, but the fractured ones too—and stays anyway.
And for Sunghoon, this is the love he has worked to deserve. The kind of love that took almost losing everything to understand.
Skating. Himself. You.
Skating was his first love—the kind that demanded everything and gave just as much, until it didn’t. And like most first loves, it burned bright, glorious, then quietly slipped beyond reach.
And when he said he fell out of love with it a long time ago, something inside you aches.
Because you remember. God, you remember how much he loved it. How much it meant to him. You were there for the early mornings, the ice-burned skin, the sacrifices. You watched him speak with his body when words failed, carve art into frozen ground like it was the only way he knew how to breathe. Skating wasn’t just something he did. It’s his compass. His language. His sanctuary.
You mourn the love he lost—because it was beautiful. Because it made him who he was. Because you can only imagine what he must’ve gone through to lose that love. To say it out loud. To bury it. And because it hurts to know that even something so beloved can slip away.
And yet… here he is. Standing in front of you, offering up the ashes of what once fuelled him, just to prove that loving you never burned out. That you outlasted the thing that defined him for most of his life. That somehow, someway, you came out on the other side—not as a consolation, but as a constant.
Even now, you don’t know what to do with that kind of love. A love that gave up the world just to come home to you.
Because you know what it cost him. What it cost you.
And even though some part of you swells at the thought that he never stopped choosing you, there’s another part that grieves for everything he lost along the way.
But one thing is certain:
While skating may have been his first love, Sunghoon intends for you to be his last.
So you’ll love him with both hands open. With reverence for the boy he used to be, with gratitude for the man he’s become, and with tenderness for all the versions of him in between.
You will carry the echoes of the boy who once chased gold on the ice and hold space for the man who let it go.
And that’s the way you’ll love him—
The way he loves you.
[MANIFESTO EXCLUSIVE] The Final Bow: Park Sunghoon Withdraws from Olympic Delegation and Announces Retirement
By Kang Y/N, Manifesto Daily
In a move that has taken the sports world by quiet surprise, South Korean figure skater Park Sunghoon has officially withdrawn from the 2026 Olympic delegation and announced his retirement from competitive skating.
Park, who recently stunned audiences with a breathtaking performance at the national Olympic tryouts, was widely anticipated to lead the men’s singles category for Team Korea. His name sat at the top of the final athlete roster released by the Korean Skating Union, cementing his spot after years spent away from the competitive spotlight.
However, behind the seamless technique and poise he displayed during the tryouts, Park had been skating through pain. After sustaining a severe tendon injury to his right leg during training abroad in 2023, he underwent a long and difficult recovery—one that, according to the athlete, never fully restored his capacity to train at the level he once held. Despite managing the condition in silence, Park made the decision to step away before risking further damage to his body.
Having spent the last few years recovering and training quietly overseas, Park re-entered the national circuit not to chase medals, but to rediscover what skating meant to him beyond the pressure of podiums and public expectation. His performance at the tryouts was not only a technical feat but also a statement. A reclamation. A reminder that skating, at its core, was always more than a career. It was a language of feeling.
In his official statement, Park expressed gratitude for the opportunity to return to the ice one last time: “I want to remember it the way I’ve always loved it. For what it gave me. For who I was when I first stepped on the ice.”
Park’s career has never been defined by loud declarations. He was known for his quiet discipline, his ability to translate stillness into power, grace into precision. From his early victories on the junior circuit to his more introspective, mature performances in recent years, he has remained one of the few athletes whose artistry often spoke louder than any press release.
Though his departure from the delegation was unexpected, it wasn’t without intent. Park’s decision to step back at the height of anticipation is a reminder that not all victories are won under stadium lights. Some are claimed in the quiet resolve to walk away on your own terms.
In related news, Park’s withdrawal comes just days after the delegation announcement, and in his place, 19-year-old rising star Han Jihoon has been selected to represent Korea in the men’s singles category. Han, who placed fourth at the national tryouts, is widely regarded as one of the most technically gifted athletes of his generation, with a growing fanbase and a reputation for innovation on the ice.
As for Park Sunghoon, he leaves behind a legacy not of statistics, but of stillness. Of dignity. Of skating that always seemed to speak in the spaces where words fell short.
And maybe that was the point all along. Maybe it was never about the podium. Maybe the real victory was simply finding your way back to loving something you once thought you had to leave behind.
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went through the 5 stages of grief reading this one. but it was so beautiful *CHEFS KISS*🫂💌
innocent 😇 girl 👧 don’t touch 🙅♀️ don’t do it ❌❌❌ don’t wanna take your golden 🌟 light 💡out in the world 🌎 you’re 🫵 just an angel 👼 but here in the dark 🌚 my sacrifice 🪽🔥
enhypen. this album.... whatever they put in outside. BRO
nom nom nom.
he is in my pocket. confirmed.
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so so so so so proud of him 💌