Brandon

I howl at the sun and in return she keeps me warm. She says, you may not be burning now but you will be.

[kanderain]

Yamaiyah shot by Brandon Kandé

[kanderain]

[kanderain]

[kanderain]

[kanderain]

[kanderain]

might make Tumblr my practice documentation journal from now on.

[upamilion]

Hood Rich

1995

[petaltexturedskies]

I am cursed, and I know it, with a love for beautiful things.

Edna St. Vincent Millay, from a letter to her mother featured in Savage Beauty: The Life of Edna St. Vincent Millay (written by Nancy Milford)

[metamorphesque]

A traditional blessing or toast, used in Armenian culture, to wish a couple a long and harmonious marriage is "Մեկ բարձի վրա ծերանաք / Mek bardzi vra tseranaq" / "May you grow old on one pillow"; it is a wish that two lives become so entwined, they are forever inseparable. This phrase enchants me with its visual charm, for it vividly conjures an image of perfect unity — two souls resting each night on the same pillow, side by side, breathing dreams and sharing whispered secrets until the end of their days.

[kanderain]

Hey now say now

[kanderain]

Baddieeeeee

[kanderain]

we loc’d up now

[kanderain]

I moved to Chicago after having lived in Chattanooga, Tennessee my entire life. I spent all summer 2024 plotting on moving to DC, so I visited again but stayed in silver spring as I thought that was there I wanted to be. Got a taste of DC and SS, and ultimately realized that this wasn’t for me. I realized that the reasons I wanted to move to DC was for proximity to other cities like New York or Baltimore, but not for DC itself even. I don’t like that city as much. It’s cool to visit though. Chicago had been on my heart heavily since I first visited last February. I kept putting it to the side as I was soooo concerned about the weather. I figured, moving somewhere that has EVERYTHING I want should be my goal, right? I was already frustrated enough having to drive over 1.50 hours to get to Atlanta just for some culture, why would I want that somewhere else? I planned my Chicago move in two weeks, moving plans set by the 3rd week, moved the 5th week. November 2nd I left home. Packed my entire life into my 09’ Lexus es350 for a 10 hour drive.

I secured my current job 4 days into living here and I thank God for that. This is a job that I was praying for. I went out a lot all November. Went to a lot of public conversations, black film festivals, DJ sets, etc. I went to a house set by myself last month actually. I don’t have many friends yet, I have one now and she’s my loctician. It’s a bit easier to be in my own solitude here, knowing that the possibility of me meeting people who would show me love and allow me to do the same, is very high. We have the most beautiful skyline, if you bad you can’t go anywhere receiving a compliment, and they have every kind of cuisine you can imagine. I didn’t know much about Chicago before moving here, I didn’t know anybody and I have no family here so everything is being learned on the spot. If you know nothing about this city, I’ll be the one to teach you. I love Chicago dearly. I’ll be writing about her more, now that I remember my tumblr exists.

[kanderain]

In this land of fire and white salt, I hear her loud laughs of joy and passion edging the horizon. I hear the frequency of her amber eyes beyond the edge of my tears, my longing palms. I hear the heavy beating of her wings, my cells vibrate in anticipation of her essence. She places herself before my stature, and the heavy beating of her wings exude a radiant dew that brace me for my bronze reflection casted upon her sternum. Dearest, you kiss me on my neck and I’ve no more left to do than endure the scent of my skin [of a thousand nights] searing upon your lips, echoes of your hunger make my eyes ring. You quench your thirst for warmth, your hunger for life, and I am happy to be what you need me to be.

[kanderain]

In my dreams I see myself walking along the darkening rim of a valley. That ray of sun seeping through the moon left a hole in my throat and I shed a tear of white fire.

The pain of isolation and the sound the sun made as it was seduced to silence. I will not forget this pain. I will endure. Can you ever know the silent intensity of inhabitance in a world I, and I alone exist?

I have time to ponder this celestial frame of mine. The deep darkness of my skin is translucent. These joints of pure light. A God could secretly enter my form and not be diminished. Nothing is so mute as a God’s mouth, and I am a man of few words.

[kanderain]

Sending this message from January 15th 2025, 4:14 PM… I hope you’re moving forward with moving out right now

[kanderain]