desicore cinnamongirl

romaticizing life

[kanichaos]

Girlhood is accidentally discovering your outfit matches your current read and feeling alive all over again.

[kanichaos]

Nobody talks about the emptiness of waking up from the dream where you met your darling. Now, they are gone. You've woken up to their absence. You grieve at the realisation of reality, waiting eagerly to sleep again. Not because you're lazy, but because they might await your arrival in the realm between dreams and reality.

You live off hope, you live off uncertainty.

[kanichaos]

I have been sniffing a love letter hoping to smell the lingering trails of their scent, crying touching their engraved alphabets to find their fingerprints.

Love makes you find home even in things you've always ignored.

[kanichaos]

"But if we become too amazed with the ordinary things, we might begin to worship them instead of God."

But what if that is the whole point? To find beauty in the mundane. To smile at the little, unnoticed joys and and thank them for making your life worth living again. You don't see God; and even if you did- all you would feel is fear.

[kanichaos]

My mother tells me how she would've gotten me aborted, jokingly, like I would laugh at it too.

"Your Nani followed me to the clinic and stopped me", she said.

"I didn't pick you up for a few hours after you were born until I saw your little, fair hand hanging off the bed because I didn't want a girl child. Nobody in our families did."

Tell me mother, how am I supposed to laugh at it, knowing I was unwanted even before I was born?

[ughsahira]

To be an eldest child is to swallow all the words you have ever wished to speak and all the emotions you ever wanted to express.

[happypopcornprincess]

bottle it down so hard that it eats you from within

[kanichaos]

Being academically hardworking since the beginning and gradually losing your ability until you face failure for the first time and the symptoms of personal dejection turn physical, you can't breathe and you feel like a good for nothing and question your entire existence since there is nothing else you think of yourself to be capable of is the worst feeling ever.

[kanichaos]

For You, I Would

For you, I would,

Cleave the stubborn skin of the pomegranate,

A bleeding heart, wild and pure,

Its beauty unruly, chaos beneath my hands.

Crimson stains bloom on my white dress,

A quiet surrender to love’s mark.

Still, I persist—

Delicately, I free each jewel,

Threading through tangled veins,

Rinsing away the pale bitterness.

I hold the harvest, trembling,

Offer it to you with reverence.

You devour it, thoughtless,

As if it were nothing.

But I feel each bite—

A seed torn from the marrow of my heart,

Love unspooled,

Spilling into the void of your hunger.

And yet, for you, I would.

Again and again,

Until the last shard of me

Is laid bare in your hands.

[kanichaos]

I am made of the ashes of my father's rage and my mother's hate. I open my mouth to speak, ashes fly out.

[kanichaos]

"Why are you like this?"

Because the only time my father said, "Proud of you" is when I fucked up.

[burntthroat]

love as religion

jorge luis borges // ron padgett // richard siken // halsey // lana del rey // caitlyn siehl // hozier // katherine philips

[kanichaos]

Oh, to be worshipped just by being loved

[kanichaos]

Like a web of darkness

Like a bolt of lightning

My melancholy branches into something

so intricate,

Each node holding a different pain

Each bud- a new possibility

But I turn those buds to the same fate

And now they bloom into the void of nothingness.

[jennifercheckwannabeme]

where?

[kanichaos]

I can buy myself flowers, but the joy of receiving them is incomparable.

[kanichaos]

"I love you"

Can you buy off my entire TBR list?

[kanichaos]

My goal in 2024 is to chase the little things and moments of happiness rather than long term, bigger, materialistic happiness.

[kanichaos]

December, Dear, you came so soon and now you're leaving too soon too. I feel like I haven't yet gotten a hold of you, and when I haven't held you in my arms, how do I let you go?

You're slipping away but I have just tasted you. It seemed incredible from that one bit, and now, I crave for more. I am not done tasting yet, how do I let you go?

You seem like warm sunshine in those long cold hours, but tomorrow will be dreadfully cold again and I'll be dying of the coldness now that you are leaving. I don't want to die yet. I want you to stay, how do I let you go?