(adept)

I'm G's favorite plastic bag blowing in the wind.

[karnesada]

finally had the dream about splat. started the same as all of them - she just shows up and im like 'wait you were dead how are you here', and its sad for me bc it feels like we got a do over. but she was happy, healthy, and completely herself. best version of this dream ive ever had.

[karnesada]

so depressed im looking at houses back in pittsburgh

[karnesada]

this is just me bitching without context but my boss and i have done so much shit on this massive haul of documents, and my other colleague's contribution is literally ai. i watched him plug a simple "limits of atty client privilege" into fucking gemini and hes meant to be the expert. i had to call him out in a meeting for "obviously using ai to correct MY responses" and he was like "oh its just for help." bro everyone can tell bc its nonsense and unsupported. im not turning ai into opposing counsel like wtf. just have crippling anxiety like the rest of us so we quadruple check our work every 5 min goddamn

especially bc 4 months ago i wrote a gloriously scathing opposition to a plaintiff who used ai to generate fake cases (which we prevailed on. bc we dont use ai. bc we're not fucking stupid)

[karnesada]

got half of the big thing done, confirmed with my boss that he received it, said "awesome. im taking tomorrow off.", and he said "absolutely. thanks for all your work.", and now im slightly drunk bc i ate for the first time at today at 630 pm with a marg

[karnesada]

i didnt think i had the capacity to be sad about anything else, especially something so trivial, but gdi im bummed they're killing destiny 2. its not a surprise since they shit the bed so hard post-tfs but god that game had so much more potential. but the final shape was soooo good as an ending that its a consolation at least. i cant remember the last game saga i played that legit had a fantastic 'finale.' blood and wine probably.

[karnesada]

i do need something though bc last night i had a dream of splat. it was a good dream, she was healthy again and had jumped up to sit in the dryer which is something she wouldve done when she was young. but i woke up laughing so i could get her down and then reality hit. i hope it was one of the dreams i usually have about them after they die that shows where they are. like it showed that shes happy, but usually i can tell a real dream from just a regular dream and i cant tell if this one was real or not. a bit of a gut punch after this almost two weeks of shock/denial.

[karnesada]

I’m gonna cry my boss has done 80% of the grunt work I needed to do which was going to take up my whole weekend. I’m so happy omg

[karnesada]

well he signed off but unfortunately committed the worst cardinal sin you can commit on someone with add - he made me stop working for 30 minutes and now im distracted

[karnesada]

omg i take that back he finished a huge chunk of gruntwork thank the gods

[karnesada]

i need to work late but my boss doesnt want me to work late, so im waiting for him to sign off so i can sign on, but now he's working late.

[karnesada]

I just gaslit a youth on the train. She was getting such attitude bc I dared sit in the empty seat next to her and going on about how I didn’t say excuse me. So I told her I did say it (I did not) and she was like Oh. I didn’t hear you.

[wickedsnack-art]

They shouldn't. She knows. But for once, Dhavi simply doesn't care. Pieces of her have been carved away for a decade—she has given everything short of her very life in the name of this world, and when this is over it will take that, too. Or him. Either way, if the only thing she can claim is this single, selfish moment, she will have it. She will take it.

[karnesada]

i have to go get her ashes tomorrow. it still doesnt feel real and idk if thats gonna make a difference. ive worked 60 hours this week to just not think. im self aware enough to recognize that im in total denial. i know it, and i know its gonna hit me at some point but im in the weirdest quasi-reality rn. its like that part of my brain has completely walled off. like intellectually i know it, but everything else is just blank

[karnesada]

my mother called and said 'i wanted to see how you were doing.' i said 'i mean not great' and she said 'aww. well we're thinking of you. i'll talk to you later.'

[karnesada]

i think baelor will be ok this time

[karnesada]

watching dunk and egg for the 500th time as a comfort blanket, and my dad was like 'you should watch something uplifting' and im like there is nothing more uplifting than watching dunk beat aerion to a pulp

[karnesada]