life's too short to even care at all

Life's too short to even care at all I'm coming up now coming up now out of the blue oh These 𝕫𝕠𝕞𝕓𝕚𝕖𝕤 in the park they are looking for my   𝒽 𝑒 𝒶 𝓇 𝓉 A dark world 𝒶𝒸𝒽𝑒𝓈 for a ˢᵖˡᵃˢʰ of the 𝖘𝖚𝖓 I'm losing my mind losing my mind losing control And so I run to the things they said could ❝ RESTORE ME RESTORELIFE ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ Iᴛ SHOULD BE❞ I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down

[kaspersauer]

Despite the other’s insistence of ‘don’t worry’, Noah was racked with guilt and his stomach was tied up in one huge knot.  He literally could have straight up killed them.  He had assumed his own stupidity would kill him one day, but only him.  The idea that it could’ve killed someone else made him feel like he was gonna be sick.  He wasn’t sure if the blonde was keeping it calm, cool and collected to keep from riling Noah, but he still couldn’t believe that it hadn’t affected him somehow.  If Noah were him he’d never trust himself again.  But regardless, he was grateful.

Even after switching places, Noah couldn’t relax, now wide awake as his mind replayed his mistake over and over, barely paying attention as Kasper commented on the house they were searching out.  He snapped out of it as the car jolted along the unpaved road leading up to the house.  The house was worn enough that it could’ve been awhile since someone had lived there, or it could’ve just been well loved (or well ignored, depending on whether one saw the glass half full or empty)

The house looked…Lonely.  It was an aesthetic he was used to, his own house growing up having the same look.  But it was one that unsettled him all the same.  Growing up in the middle of nowhere but living (and loving living) in the city for the past couple of years making him a child of both wide open spaces and high rises.  He was simultaneously comfortable and disconcerted by the house that stood alone among the trees with no other structures in sight.

Having made the decision that he trusted Kasper, as much as he could for only knowing him for a couple days, Noah had planned to grab his hidden knives out of his bag as they explored.  But as Noah went to reach into the backseat to grab them, he realized Kasper had went ahead without him.  He was…Offended?  Only momentarily though, realizing with all the impressions he had given his new partner, of course the guy thought Noah wouldn’t be joining him in the quick scouting mission.  He had frozen both times when they came upon a zombie and had nearly driven them off the road.  Not the best or most reliable track record so far.  But that thought only steeled Noah’s resolve.  He was used to disappointing people, it was a habit of his.  But ‘letting someone down’ in this new world wasn’t just disappointing them, it was life or death. 

So as Kasper checked out the house, Noah finished digging his knives and thigh holster out of his bag before strapping it to himself.  Once settled, he took the only knife he had ever actually liked and gracefully flicked it open, holding it up to his face to look at the edge.  Despite being unused for so long, it was still fairly sharp, as Noah always kept it closed away.  

The way the blade caught the light was a bit hypnotizing, and Noah began to imagine what he might have to use it for.  He was sure he would’ve started spiraling if it wasn’t for Kasper shaking him from his thoughts.  Dude had good timing.  — Noah nodded absentmindedly to Kasper’s ‘all clear’ announcement, before deftly flicking the tang closed and slipping it back into it’s place in the holster.  

He moved to help with the unpacking of supplies, only to realize that Kasper seemed to only be grabbing his personal items, and Noah followed suit.  Guess they weren’t going to be staying that long.  

Noah looked up as he heard the blonde…Chuckle?  And he couldn’t help but with respond with one of his own.  It was the little things, right?  “I can’t wait to sleep in something other than a Sonic’s bucket seat.”  he hit back, a small smile tugging at his lips.

The porch stairs creaked ominously as they made their way up them, and despite Kasper’s confirmation that the house was safe, Noah’s free hand still twitched above his holster.  He wasn’t sure if he’d have the balls to use them, but he could already tell having them close helped his state of mind.

His chest heaved with a sigh of relief as the door swung open and he realized the house wasn’t deserted after all, Kasper not having mentioned it when he came back to the car.  It would’ve been just their luck to stumbled upon a deserted junkie den or something of the like.  

“Already called dibs on a bedroom while you were checking it out?” Noah asked, somewhat in jest.  Although, to be honest the idea of sleeping alone after everything and after being only a car console away from another person for the past couple of days ignited nervous butterflies in his stomach,

"Oh, god,” Kasper exclaimed, a huff of air leaving his chest, “a bed. You’re right.” He hadn’t even thought that far -- which was either just like him or not like him at all, he couldn’t even decide right now... which was also just like him, his brain constantly alternating between how it decides to run. Honestly, he was just exhausted and he hadn’t even realized how much he really was until now, now that there was no immediate danger or reason to stay as alert as he could be. It was a relief to be in a sturdier shelter, with the thought of a bathroom, and beds, and room to stretch without having to look over your shoulder every other second.

He figured they could use whatever was left here for supplies before using what little they had left of what they brought with them from Noah’s apartment and his place, though maybe they should have brought their things in anyway just to round it up and see what they had left. Noah broke him from thought, and he grinned. “No, I hadn’t even gotten to that thought yet. Bladder got ahead of me.” He shrugged. “I’m not sure how many rooms there are, but it looks like they might have had a kid,” he pointed to the high chair standing in the kitchen, “so there’s probably at least two.” 

Noah’s height suddenly hit him again, and he looked the guy up from his feet. It just wasn’t something he’d been paying attention to with everything going on. He’d barely given it a second’s notice when they’d first met, and since then they’ve mostly been sitting in the car, and trying not to, like, die, so it wasn’t a notice he’d paid any mind to. Now, most people might have been tall to Kasper, but this guy was like... really tall. It was almost comical -- or he was just really tired. Kasper gestured to Noah, a quiet laugh hanging on his words, “If there’s a kid’s room, I’ll take that and you can have the bigger bed. If you want.” He shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

“What I do mind... is how the lack of showering. I need one.” He peeked outside. It was pretty deserted, but it was probably better to be safe than sorry. “But first, do you think maybe we should get everything in from the car? I didn’t think about it, but it might be good to see where we’re at with our supplies and stuff. Uh, and then we can like... lock the place up and stuff...?” As he spoke, he started feeling heavier and heavier, his body, his words, his brain, heavy. God, he was aching to be able to relax.

[kaspersauer]

Maybe it was Noah’s naïveté, but he had sorta just expected everything to…Well, stop.  Movies and shows loved the post-apocalyptic genre, but the word post was the key word, after everything had already happened.  Noah had been expecting that.  He hadn’t been expecting the mad dash for the highways and interstates, the government workers still attempting to hold their posts.  But now he understood why the movies never showed that.  It was all too surreal for him, and he oddly enough he found himself wishing for the post part of this apocalypse, not realizing that meant everything would be over.  

He was glad when Kasper let him take a turn at driving, having to focus on the road made it a bit easier to tune out everything else, keeping his eyes directly on the road in front of him and nowhere else.  Although, occasionally his eyes would wander, and always at the worst times, to see something he wished he hadn’t.  It was odd, despite knowing that they were in dire times, at certain points it all seemed so…normal, when they were stuck in traffic Noah could almost pretend that that’s all it was, and he did, finding that the best way to keep calm. 

But he couldn’t only last 5 or 6 hours at the wheel before he found himself bleary eyed and the two would switch back.  In the times where Noah found himself in the passenger seat, he spent his time angrily telling himself to go to sleep, trying to force his brain to think about other things, realizing how important sleep would soon become.  Every once in awhile he’d be able to think about something else for just long enough to drift off into a light sleep, only to be woken by his own anxiety fever dreams, or even a bump in the road, leaving him perilously more and more fatigued as the days continued to pass.

It was his turn once more when his body finally gave into his previous demands and without Noah’s permission, his eyes began to flutter close, his muscles relaxing, his foot slipping mostly off the gas.  He was startled back to attention by a soft voice, so soft he barely recognized it.  His head flew to the side, to look at Kasper, before back at the road, realizing what he had almost done.  He could’ve killed them.  That would be so on brand for him.  They were in the middle of the fucking zombie apocalypse and he almost killed them in a car accident.  Jesus Christ.  — He nodded dumbly at the other’s suggestion both of him driving and finding someplace to crash, before pulling the car over onto a deserted shoulder.

“I—Fuck, I’m so sorry.”  If this dude hadn’t trusted him before, he definitely probably didn’t now.  And Noah couldn’t blame him.  He balked at the first zombie they saw, didn’t do anything to help him with second, and almost fucking killed him in the stupidest way possible.  He was officially the worst and most useless apocalypse partner ever.

“Hey, don’t worry,” Kasper assured him as they pulled over, shrugging a shoulder. The world was literally ending, everyone was dying, -- or… undying? -- and based on the sights they’d seen, Kasper thought they were faring this apocalypse pretty well. He cleared his throat and gave a nod then, opening the door to switch sides with Noah. The two moved faster than a handful of teens playing Chinese Fire Drill, fear in their guts even though the road appeared to be as deserted as it could be. 

The gas gauge showed that they still had three quarters of a tank since their last stop for fuel, a worry that he could knock off his mental list. Making a U-turn on the empty highway, he looked over to an exhausted looking Noah. “So, I think the house was just like a mile up.” He bit his lip and studied the road ahead, looking for the hidden place he’d managed to catch when he’d woken up. “There,” he mumbled, turning off the highway and onto a long grassy drive the owners must have made from years of driving up and down it. He’d instinctively used a turn signal despite the fact that there was… no one, and technically laws had no meaning anymore. He figured it’d be a while before he got those habits out of his system. 

He pulled the car pulled to a stop in front of the house, all by its lonesome away from the highway and everything else. There were no other cars, and it had been a few days since the hell had broken loose --, “Hopefully no one’s home.” He sighed and turned the car off. He figured they might as well leave supplies here until they found out if it was empty or not. Inhaling slowly, he grabbed a weapon from the backseat and found the courage to pull himself out of the vehicle and begin his way up the porch. 

Trying the handle, he found the door unlocked. He pushed it open and peeked inside. “Hello?” he called, but no reply. No sound at all. He took a step in, peeking around the foyer to see a kitchen with cupboard doors open, and on the other side a living room with a few things strewn about. He returned to the car, nodding at Noah. “It’s empty.” He opened the back door to pull out the bag he’d packed full of clothes, the house looking like it’d provide any other amenities he might have packed besides his clothing. 

“I can’t wait to use an actual toilet that’s not a gas station toilet,” Kasper sighed, a light laugh hanging on his words. As sad as that was, it was true. Maybe too much information, but he’d never been particularly modest in some aspects, and with their new predicament, he supposed there really wasn’t much room for being shy in that way anyway.

[kaspersauer]

By the time the car began running on empty, Kasper had already been driving for countless hours while still only just reaching the Oregon state line. They’d been stuck behind traffic jams, interstate pile ups, officers thinking they could still do their job, and various small incidents that ended up hindering the process of getting away more than you’d think it would. This was the beginning, it was going to be hectic as what seemed to be a goddamn zombie virus spread its way through humanity, until people found their place or turned. The beginning of the end.

After they refilled the tank with (thankfully) free gas, the other boy whose name he learned to be Noah, took the wheel. Since then, they continued to switch spots, driving in shifts while the other slept. Kasper had had quite a hard time falling asleep the first time, despite being tired. His mind wouldn’t shut off, he hyperfocused on how uncomfortable the car seat was, and of course he was sitting next to a stranger. That was the biggest part. His instincts prevented him from putting himself in any sort of vulnerable position while in the presence of someone he didn’t know, but if this guy was going to be his best shot at staying alive, he’d have to learn how to trust him. A hard feat for Kasper, who didn’t trust anyone, ever, but this was a special situation and he didn’t have a choice. He’d just have to do his best to trust him, and if for now that meant not being entirely on the defensive and forcing himself to not completely shut Noah down and out instead of actually trusting him, then that’d just have to be good enough for the time being.

Kasper’s brain played a distant static numbly, a familiar ache in his head pulling him out of a crappy attempt at sleep. It’d been his shift again, the two going off and on for a couple days now, though they were still in Oregon. He rubbed his eyes and glanced at the stereo, seeing that he’d slept for about four hours. The car jerked just slightly and Kasper straightened himself out, throwing his pillow into the backseat and sitting up. He thought maybe it was something on the road Noah had wanted to avoid, but there was nothing around. They were going much slower than they had been, as well. He looked over to Noah, seeing that it wasn’t anything at all, but in fact just himself, his eyes fluttering every few seconds.

“Noah,” Kasper said carefully, not wanting to startle him and chance going sliding down the road. Noah inhaled, eyes opening and looking over to Kasper. “Maybe I should drive?” Kasper didn’t need much sleep, honestly, stimulated easily. Then, he remembered seeing a house just a minute before when he’d woken up. “Or, maybe we should stop? I think I saw a house…”

[kaspersauer]

Noah was tightly holding onto the belief that everything would turn out fine.  His ultimate scenario included maybe a day or two spent hiding out with this stranger, before the government got their shit together, explained it all away, and things could return to normal.  It was just some sorta strange outbreak, and it would all be fine.  But deep down, while he still had hope, Noah knew better.  Sure, he wasn’t a virologist, but he was pretty sure there wasn’t an infection or disease that did this, and this quickly.  Although, thinking about it now, these things didn’t always happen quickly, but rather slowly and quietly, especially if the government did know about it.  Noah wasn’t a conspiracy theorist, but he could get behind that idea.  He let his mind wander these idea paths as a distraction of sorts, figuring weird conspiracy theories were better than panic attacks.

He nodded at the blonde’s plan, at this point convinced enough that he wasn’t completely crazy.  And at this point it looked like death was imminent, either by psycho or…zombie, did it really matter what got him in the end?  The thought of more weapons was a small comfort, and although he would stick to his own knives, knowing that they had more would be reassuring.  Although, of course, Noah would actually have to gather his balls enough to use them.

“I’m not…I’m not panicking.  I’m just being a realist.” He sighed shakily after they barely avoided a collision “There are 325 million people in the US.  17.8 in the pacific north west and surrounding areas alone—“ all facts he learned in class, but those numbers didn’t include undocumented citizens, or people who didn’t respond to census  “ –If all those people become….W-Whatever that was.  We’re screwed.”  Okay, now he was panicking.  God, he really wished he hadn’t passed up on those anxiety meds his PCP had suggested he be prescribed.  The numbers were so large it was actually hard to picture how many people that would mean, it was unfathomable, really.

His mind was still spiraling at the thought of it all as they came to a stop, barely registering the blonde’s words, and only after he left realizing what he had said.  Noah figured he’d just stay in the car, but still a bit high, his nerves started getting the best of him and he started seeing movement where there was none, swearing he was seeing things out of the corner of his eye.  His heart started beating loud enough that he could hear it, and he made the split second decision to run after the delivery guy and into the house, head whipping back and forth as he made the short journey from car to house.

Noah tried to close the door quietly behind him, and as he did, fell back against it panting slightly, panic making his chest tight.  Looking around, he wasn’t too surprised at what he found.  He could see this guy being a collectibles sorta dude.  Noah just had never really been able to get into comics and things of the like, their house had been so small that there wasn’t really any space for hobbies like that, even if he had liked that stuff.  But even with his disinterest in the topic, Noah knew that this stuff must’ve cost him a pretty penny.  And now…Now none of it mattered.  It was strange, thinking about how quickly that changed.  All this stuff were probably precious objects to this guy, but now…Now he had to leave them all behind, with absolutely no choice in the matter.  Thinking on it, Noah was glad he had never given in to his base instincts and adopted a shelter pet, because what would they have done with it?

Getting lost in his own thoughts a bit, Noah didn’t pay much attention to how the other moved through their house like a twister, leaving destruction in his wake (not that it mattered much now, anyways), much like he had gone through Noah’s apartment, only worse.  He thought about where they would go, if the guy in front of him had any idea either, and what they would do next.  Only if they were in Maine, Noah would’ve had all the answers, and even if he didn’t it wouldn’t matter much as it was so sparsely populated.  1.3 million over 35,000 square miles, making it only 43 people per square mile.  That number dropped even lower when you went up north, near where Noah grew up, houses were miles apart, and people lived on hundred acre properties all by themselves.

Noah could think of only one place like that around here, Olympic National Park.  He had gone hiking a lot while he was still in school, finding it one of the only things that could calm him down, and he had found a lot of old spots that didn’t get much use, some old ranger cabins, stuff like that.

Broken from his thoughts by the crinkling of plastic, Noah looked up at the blonde.  “All set?”

Having been in a total state of focus, the boy alarmed Kasper upon addressing him, and he looked over to him with startled eyes. Seeing it was him, he let out a soft exhale and looked down to his hands. Kasper had been in such a zone of gathering things that he hadn’t even noticed the guy come in, and how long he’d been in there. “Uh,” Kasper started, biting down on his lip, “Yeah, I think so.”

He released the hold on his lip and walked toward the guy. “Will you take these?” he asked, holding the package of water bottles out to him. He took it with a nod and Kasper slipped past him. “Okay.” He held open the door, gesturing toward it solemnly. “Let’s go.” He didn’t pay much attention to him as he walked out of the door and to his car, struggling to unlock the trunk of his car but managing it and throwing the bags in and still having room left in the space to spare.

The two climbed back into the car but as soon as Kasper turned the key over, it hit him that he didn’t grab any comfort items. “Wait here,” Kasper rushed out before he stepped back out of the car and ran back inside. He quickly grabbed the mess of blankets he’d left on the couch, and then grabbed two from his room and a couple of pillows. With a quick thought, he pushed his couch over and threw a bunch of things on the ground in front of the entryway. If the apocalypse ever ends, he wouldn’t mind coming back to his house and finding that it hadn’t been looted, so he made a petty attempt at making it look like it already had been. He locked the door and left.

Kasper pushed the blankets into the back seat of the car and got back in next to the brunette. “Listen, we’re turning onto Autumn now, and I’m not going to take the chance of freezing my ass off some night, okay?” And it was a nice ass, if Kasper did say so himself -- which he did.

He stared at the house he’d had for a long time now. The house his sister basically raised him in for years -- not that he’d ever admit that until this moment as he reflected on it, no, he chose to let her know that she was a glorified babysitter all that time. He really hoped that she was okay. It was hard to pull away, but he did. He chose to head out of the city in the direction he knew that Oregon was in. It didn’t really matter right now, they just needed to leave the city as soon as possible.

Turns out, getting out of the city was a complete disaster. As the day progressed, whatever it was that was spreading was clearly making its way around, and traffic began to pick up with panicked people. Most, apparently, weren’t trying to leave, but instead running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Probably picking up family members and things, which made Kasper grateful for once that he was a lone wolf. And, thankfully, his new partner too he supposed.

As soon as they made it out of the city limits, past all the sirens wailing and cars piled up, Kasper finally felt like he could breathe. The city roads turned into a mostly deserted interstate with forestry on both sides of the four lanes.

“I’m Kasper, by the way,” he introduced quietly without looking over, staring out at the road ahead of them.

[kaspersauer]

The adrenaline from their previous ordeal began to kick in, and Noah felt like that one time his friend in high school had convinced Noah to take one of his Adderall.  He was hyper-focused. Despite his darting eyes as they made their way down the back staircase, Noah felt like he could see everything, like he had eyes in the back of his head.  All of his senses felt heightened, but he also realized he couldn’t remember most of their journey outside to the parking lot, all of it a blur. God, weed and adrenaline really didn’t mix. –Could he taste his own mouth?

Noah was broken out of his own thoughts as the blonde gestured to his car, and he began moving towards it, only to be pulled back, his fingers instinctively gripping the knife in his hand tighter.  He looked over at the delivery guy in annoyance, “What?” he whispered back, he thought they were trying to make a break for it?  How was cowering with their backs exposed supposed to help in that venture?

But, regardless of his thoughts, he nodded at the blonde’s plan, it was the only one they had.  It wasn’t until they got to the car and the unlocking alarm sounded did he realize exactly why he had stopped Noah.  His empty hand hovered over the door handle, practically quivering, and he felt like an old cowboy waiting to draw his gun at shoot out that would happen at high noon.  As soon as it sounded, he pulled the door open swiftly and hopped in.

Noah was fairly sure that he saw the woman before his partner did, but as he gripped the handle, trying to get himself out to help (although, with a car between the two, what could he have done?) he realized that the car had already relocked itself.  Stupid safety lock. By the time Noah’s shaking hands were able to unlock the door manually, he looked up to see the woman’s head fall to the ground. With widened eyes and a sick stomach, Noah quickly ducked back into the car, taking up his previous position, trying to will the image out of his eyes.

As the man who straight up just machete chopped a woman’s head up, got in the car, Noah’s tried his best to avoid his eyes.  He figured looking at him again would only serve to remind him of what he just saw (something he was trying to block out, for both of their sakes), but also because he didn’t want him to see how fucked up he was about all of this.  Noah had already puked once, he didn’t want this guy to see him freak again. He didn’t want to seem weak. But he also didn’t want to seem like a useless partner.  He didn’t want to get left behind, despite being so used to it at this point.  So as the blonde backed over the now headless body and joked about what just went down, all Noah could manage was a nod.

Swallowing his panic, Noah, after some time, finally chimed up.  “So where are we going? I mean, do you have a plan?” After witnessing this guys preparedness in his apartment and the fucking machete in his trunk, Noah figured this probably was something he had thought about, at length, possibly.  “Do you have some tricked out zombie proof bunker or something? Because if not—…” his words trailed off as his eyes lingered on surroundings passing by them, seeing more than a few things that….That didn’t seem quite human anymore.

He swallowed once more, still trying to get a grasp on this all and keep himself from spiraling “Because if not….I don’t see how we’re going to make it.”

They’d gotten a ways before the brunette next to him spoke. It caught Kasper, who was staring out the window as they passed a crashed police car with the sirens sounding loudly, off guard as he hadn’t expected him to speak at all. At least not for awhile. He didn’t know this person obviously, but from what he had gathered, he was more of the freeze in panic type than one who collected himself very easily. Turns out his words were just further panic, so, that made sense.

“Stop.” He looked over to the boy, whose head almost touched the ceiling of his car. “Don’t even think like that.” He exhaled loudly and turned his eyes back to the road, swerving around crashed cars and cars that sped past them. “Yes, I have a plan. We’re going to stop at my house,” Kasper informed, glancing at him momentarily to look for any sign of a reaction, seeing as he may still think Kasper was a murderer or something. “No tricked out zombie proof bunker, but I’ve got some supplies there. More food we can take than what I found at your place, and I can get clothes for myse--”

“Fuck!” Kasper yanked the wheel in one direction to avoid a big SUV that came barrelling down the wrong side of the road, honking at him. Well, he guessed in the apocalypse there was no ‘right side of the road’ technically, but still. “Clothes for myself,” he continued irritatedly, getting back into the lane he needed to be in, “and then we’re getting the fuck out of the city. I don’t have anything further planned, but that’s what’s most important right now.” He jerked his head backwards as a gesture to the vehicle who’d almost mowed them over, “Clearly. Higher population means more zombies. And the more stupid people that are only going to get themselves killed before any zombie even does.” The city was enormous, and as he just said, the higher population meant more zombies, and as people start becoming aware of what’s going on, survivors were going to start going apeshit, especially the stupid and/or less level headed ones. Such as whoever it was that just passed them.

Thankfully, the area he lived in was less populated than an apartment building, and after taking focused glances around him while he pulled up into the small driveway to his house, he decided it’d be safe to get out. He looked over to the brunette, turning the car off. “You can stay or come in or whatever,” Kasper offered, turning his eyes to his keys and preparing his house key. He didn’t wait on a response, instead opening the door and booking his way up the drive and front steps. As he entered, he didn’t see the guy behind him so playing it safe he closed the door behind him. He’d leave it unlocked and if he wanted to come in he could.

The house was a clean little space, a bit cluttered with various display items, but clean. Evidence of just how very hermity and wildly uncool he was was painfully transparent. Lameness was practically spray painted everywhere from the lump of blankets he’d left on the couch from cozying up before his shift at work to the pile of video games next to a console to the stupid shit he had put up everywhere. He was going to be sad to leave a lot of it, this was his safe space and he’d put way more money than he’d like to admit into all the things around the place. Collectibles did not come cheap. Sadly, he’d just have to get over it.

He bursted through his space like a twister, making a bit of a mess behind him as he gathered what he wanted. With his ADHD, he couldn’t focus on one thing at a time, every little item he knew he’d need was floating in his mind with no organization. He stopped in his bedroom, dropping three half full bags of various necessities on his bed and dragging his hands down his face. Running back and forth to every room in the house was a waste of time and was going to make it harder to remember what he had and hadn’t packed. Focus. Personal items first. He set two pairs of shoes next to the bag, and threw some of the durable outer clothing items he had into a leather bag, then underwear, socks, etc, toothbrush, and all of the medication he had left. This was a moment he was finally grateful for forgetting to take his meds on a near-daily basis and still getting refills, the pills just stacking up forever.

The meds made him move on to his next bag of necessities, which he’d already thrown those stupid ass zombie survival kits and books shit into. It was going to be full of other necessities the two might need. He threw all of the other various medications like ibuprofen and vitamins he had in his bathroom cabinet into the bag, band aids and bandages, a bunch of gauze left from the time he’d ripped his arm open on a screw at work, toothpastes, extra toothbrushes just in case, shampoos and soaps, and all of the toilet paper he had. He decided it’d also be smart to grab whatever various chargers, and small devices he had, including a laptop, a tablet, an old alarm clock for the radio, a Garmin, and a handheld radio.

Before leaving his room, he slid his sketchbook and pencils into his personal bag, deciding he didn’t want to leave without it. He grabbed his things and moved into the kitchen. He put all of the canned items he had into the bag, along with various other foods they could eat without cooking, and foods that wouldn’t perish. He had a little over half of a 32-pack of water bottles, so with all of his bags hooked on one arm, he grabbed it by the plastic and held it in his other hand.

It may have been a lot, compared to the other guy who’d only made a personal bag and the scarce bag Kasper had made from the guy’s kitchen, but he figured it was better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it. Though, they would need it all eventually. He remained standing in the kitchen next to the fridge, staring at a corner of the fridge door with furrowed brows, chewing on his cheek and trying to concentrate hard on if there was anything else they may need and he could grab.

[kaspersauer]

The lonely midwestern house they slept in tremmored all night long from roaring thunder, thick rain pummeling down harshly against the home. Although much different from the storms the two were used to from Seattle, the winds making the windows whistle and the lightning making the entire sky light up every few seconds, it was still comforting. It was something they were used to. Between the gloomy atmosphere and each other’s warmth, they were home despite being homeless.

The two slept longer than their usual short amount that was only enough to keep them going, the sounds of the storm keeping them under. By the time Kasper’s heavy eyes opened, the blurry room had a dim gray lighting as the sun was still hidden behind dark clouds, and thunder rolled on. His brain was foggy, that tiny extra amount of sleep he’d had reminding him of just how tired he truly was. He couldn’t bring himself to get out of bed. Noah’s arm wrapped around his chest, the thick duvet pulled up to his chin, the weather raging on, it was all too enticing, inviting him to stay in bed longer. They wouldn’t be able to make it anywhere anyway, right? That’s what he’d tell himself as he turned in Noah’s arms.

Noah made a noise at the back of his throat, a sleepy noise, but definitely awake and acknowledging Kasper’s movement. He was surprised that Noah was even slightly conscious, even with their extra sleep. Noah was the absolute worst about waking up, and if even Kasper was still tired, it was a wonder the boy was stirring at all.

His eyes remained closed as he pressed a kiss to Kasper’s face, placing it on the bridge of his nose. “Hi,” Noah greeted, his throat thick. Kasper smiled, closing his eyes. The next landed on his cheek next to his nose. Noah nudged his cheek with his own nose and Kasper obliged, tilting his head up an inch. This time the kiss was placed next to the corner of his mouth. A slow hand made its way up under the heavy blankets, done with playing his little game of Pin The (Half Asleep) Kiss on Kasper, his large hand resting on Kasper’s cheek with his fingers reaching his neck as he pulled the blonde forward. Lips finally meeting Kasper’s own, he let the brunette lazily kiss him. He could honestly fall back asleep like this.

However, he smiled and pulled back. His eyes opened and came into focus, wanting to look over his boy’s face. A yawn escaped him as he brought his hand over Noah’s, moving it down and tangling his fingers with his. “Took you long enough,” Kasper played, his voice groggy.

Noah’s forehead fell against Kasper’s and he pressed his lips to the blonde’s a couple more times. “Mmm, shut up,” he mumbled. Kasper’s eyes fell shut again, his hand letting go of Noah’s and coming up to play in his hair. Each little kiss was a welcome home, and he never wanted to leave.

For a moment, the rain died down, and Kasper’s heart sunk. He would feel a responsibility to force them out of bed if he didn’t have the excuse of the weather to keep them where they are. Noah felt this, knew this, and pulled him in closer to him. Kasper sighed and forced his eyes open again, bringing his hand down out of Noah’s hair and onto his cheek, his thumb gently moving across Noah’s eyelid. Reluctantly, Noah opened his eyes finally. Kasper almost lost his breath at the sight of his beautiful eyes, currently glossy with sleep, but full of love as he looked back at Kasper. A hint of desire lingered in them, and Kasper wanted to tell him to put that look away immediately.

Then, the rain stopped entirely. He felt defeated, his body already protesting in aches, trying to get him to not get up. “Don’t,” Noah whispered, letting his lips brush against Kasper’s. A hot breath escaped him, breathing deeply against Noah’s soft lips. “Let’s stay. One more night. I’m so tired.” He pulled Kasper’s body completely against him, allowing him to feel Noah’s hardness against his thigh. Kasper’s eyes fluttered shut and he bit the inside of his cheek, knowing he’d done that to him, Noah having not been in this state minutes prior when he was still spooning him. Suddenly Noah’s hand was between them, palming Kasper through his briefs. He drew in a breath and his hand followed the trail it’d made earlier, back into Noah’s hair. The morning was always an extra sensitive time, and Noah was really testing his self control.

“Please,” Kasper croaked, squirming under Noah’s touch. The loudest thunderclap they’d heard since the storm started vibrated the entire room, lightning flashing outside the window. Kasper gasped and opened his eyes, looking up toward the ceiling as rain thrashed against the roof. The wind howled with nature’s quiet words, making sure Kasper knew to be grateful that they were gifted with this opportunity. Kasper pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes at the brunette as if he was solely responsible for this. “The gods are on your side.”

Noah smiled a tired smile before smashing his lips against Kasper’s. His brows furrowed as he kissed Noah lazily, their breaths coming out short as they struggled to wake up enough to manage what Noah clearly craved. Kasper was happy to provide, especially with this golden excuse to stay in bed all day.

Noah pushed himself against Kasper as much as he could, his free hand wrapping around Kasper’s back. With Kasper’s head up where Noah’s was on the pillows, his hips didn’t quite meet the taller boy’s, so while kissing without reaching or leaning was nice, it didn’t entirely provide Noah the friction he wanted when it was desired. Wanting to give the boy what he hungered for, Kasper wrapped his left leg around him which ended up being just above his hips and just below his waist, his right leg snaking its way in between Noah’s until his thigh was giving him the touch he wanted. Kasper used the leg that was wrapped around his midsection as leverage, working it to pull himself forward and back against Noah, the thigh between his legs effectively grazing Noah’s length.

He was tired as all hell, his vision blurry when he moved too quickly, his head fuzzy, but now all he wanted was to be with Noah. Even if the rain hadn’t picked back up, Noah’s clear declaration of wanting Kasper would have kept the blonde in bed for at least the length of time until Noah had gotten what he wanted. Something about the simple fact of Noah desiring him turned him on more than almost anything else.

Knowing he was wanted, lusted after; knowing he was the cause for Noah’s cravings; knowing he could bring Noah to the peak of pleasure… He could get off on that knowledge alone.

His movements against Noah served himself as well, brushing against Noah’s torso each time he rocked into him. Kasper parted from his lips, breathing heavily as he tried to pull Noah’s shirt off without moving their position. Laughs filled the space between them as they struggled, Noah hardly awake enough to manage it. He had to pull his arms through and let Kasper tug it off of his head. He threw it and went back to Noah’s lips, smiling as he kissed him again.

He ran his hands down the boy’s soft torso, Noah’s hands doing the same to his back. The gentlest touches caused a shiver between the both of them in unison, quiet moans escaping them at all of the sensations running between them. The shiver had momentarily paralyzed Kasper, and Noah took it as his opportunity to push off his boxers, shimmying them down his legs and kicking them off. Kasper grinned softly against Noah’s lips, carefully moving his thigh and feeling all of Noah.

Noah hissed as Kasper touched him, brushing his fingers down his length and wrapping his hand around the base of him. Kasper parted the kiss for a short moment, and with Noah’s mouth open, his tongue left his mouth to swipe across Noah’s before sucking his bottom lip between his own, giving headway to what he was inclined to do now.

“I don’t know if I’ll last,” Noah breathed, reading Kasper’s mind in both knowing Kasper was about to put his mouth on him but would still want him inside him elsewhere.

“You’ll last,” Kasper assured, though it sounded more like an instruction. Maybe it was.

He disappeared under the heavy blankets, Noah rolling onto his back. Kasper settled next to his body under the blankets, letting his hand drag down his chest until it met his member, his hand wrapping around him. He moved toward him, his chest resting against his thigh as his tongue caressed Noah, opening his hand only momentarily as he moved his tongue up from the bottom to the top. “Babe,” Noah groaned out, the sound muffled with Kasper’s ears under the comforter, but it sounded like a plead, a sureness in his voice that this was going to be quick.

Kasper continued, taking Noah into his mouth and sinking down as far as he could go. Noah’s body went taut at the sudden sensation, only further encouraging Kasper. With the boy in his mouth, he flattened his tongue against him and pulled back up, gently scraping his teeth across the tip before going back down.

Noah cursed, and the pitch blackness he was in under the blankets lightened to that dull gray, Noah having thrown the comforter off of him just enough to see Kasper. Blue eyes met brown and Kasper came back off of him, pressing his lips softly to his length. Noah’s eyes rolled back and he took a deep breath before looking back to Kasper again. He took the opportunity to take him back into his mouth, sucking in his cheeks and swallowing around Noah, keeping their eyes locked.

“Goddammit, Kasper,” Noah whispered, and before Kasper could continue, suddenly a large hand grabbed at his arm and pulled him back up. Kasper’s frame hit the bed next to Noah and he almost immediately began making his way down Kasper.

He tugged Kasper’s briefs down just enough to free him, but wasting no time on removing them all the way. A smile covered Kasper’s face as he watched him move down between his legs, Noah’s lips pressing three kisses down Kasper’s length before torturing Kasper with the same methods the blonde had used on him. The only difference was Kasper didn’t deny him, and Noah was probably using this time to recover himself a bit.

As Noah’s mouth worked Kasper, his hands assisting, he had come extremely close to coming. Noah was aware of this, which is exactly why he’d stopped. Kasper released the tight grip he had on Noah’s arm, his chest heaving with heavy breaths. The tightness in his abdomen began to relax, his muscles twitching with what he’d almost had.

Noah came back up, turning Kasper on his side and spooning him, their position exactly as it was when Kasper had first woken up. His fingers hooked under the waistband of his briefs and pushed them off of Kasper’s body further, slowly dragging them down his thighs. Kasper pushed them off the rest of the way before settling against Noah’s chest. The brunette moved himself against Kasper’s backside, his length teasing against his skin. Kasper whimpered as his lips kissed across his shoulder.

Kasper reached his hand over to the bedside table where he’d hung his bag off of one of the drawer’s handle. He reached in and dug around, his eyes closed and having a hard time concentrating with Noah’s lips on him. Finally locating the lube they required, he uncapped it and squeezed it into his hand before letting it fall somewhere, not caring, just wanting Noah inside of him. Kasper reached behind him, grasping Noah’s length and stroking the lube onto him slowly as Noah pressed open mouthed kisses to Kasper’s neck. They moaned in concert, their groggy voices meeting together.

Noah grabbed Kasper’s hand, pulling it off of him and running his hand across Kasper’s to attain the extra lube leftover onto his own hand. He ran his hand between Kasper’s cheeks, his fingers pressing into him slightly. Kasper moaned and gripped Noah’s arm. He moved his hand back to himself and lined himself up with Kasper. As soon as Kasper felt him, he bit down hard enough on his lip that if he’d applied any more pressure he’d draw blood.

“Okay?” Noah questioned quietly, which Kasper replied to with a fervent nod.

The brunette pushed into him gently, moving in slowly. Kasper’s breath hitched, the feeling filling his entire body. Noah always felt so good inside him. Would he ever get used to this? Ever get enough? Once Noah had made it as far in as he could,  he stilled for a moment before rocking against him with extreme care. Kasper’s head dropped forward, needing that slow moment to clear his now fuzzy head. As soon as he’d come to, he pushed back against Noah, a silent affirmation that Noah could do as he pleased.  

Moans quickly filled the air, the two of them writhing together with exhausted bodies and minds. A rhythm was soon found, pushing and pulling against each other lazily, needily. Noah’s mouth found Kasper’s neck and Kasper brought his hand up to the boy’s hair, tugging gently as he sucked on his skin, earning the both of them more groans.

They continued this way for awhile. Their synchronized bodies moved sluggishly, trying to get the most out of each other before they inevitably passed out again. Each time Noah rolled himself back into Kasper’s body, he found the bundle of nerves that sent jolts of electricity up Kasper’s spine. He could only conclude that Noah felt the same, gripping onto Kasper’s skin the way that he was with each stagnant thrust.

Kasper began to feel that familiar pinch in his abdomen that required his attention, just as Noah must have felt his own twisting, picking up the speed. “Oh, god,” Kasper moaned. He moved his arm down to grab himself, but Noah caught on and got there before him, seizing Kasper’s member and stroking him, the feeling of the leftover lube on his hand pushing him further. Another quiet whimper came from him, which Noah responded to with a curse. He increased his speed, somehow still able to work Kasper as he did so.

Thunder crashed again, like it was replying to their bodies. Noah moaned loudly in Kasper’s ear, his hips slamming into Kasper one more time as he came, whispering Kasper’s name so softly it was barely coherent. The second Kasper heard it, he followed Noah and his stomach clenched, coming under Noah’s movements.

Noah grabbed his face and turned it to him before returning his hand to Kasper’s length, kissing him deeply as the two rocked against each other to ride out their orgasms. Kasper couldn’t see anything but white and a rainy blue behind his closed eyes, nearly sobbing into Noah’s mouth as he tried to breathe and come down from the pleasure.

After a minute of this, Noah carefully pulled himself out of Kasper, but remained behind him. Kasper pulled away from Noah’s lips and gasped, trying to breathe correctly again. Noah did the same behind him, his sweaty chest sticking to Kasper’s back each time he inhaled.

Slowly, Kasper turned himself around to face Noah. “Um…” Morning sex might be his favorite now. Well, Noah sex was his favorite sex, but morning sex with Noah might have been the best thus far.

“Yeah,” Noah sighed contentedly.

Kasper rolled to his back and Noah rolled with him, falling forward onto the blonde’s chest. His head rested near Kasper’s shoulder, his torso almost entirely covering Kasper’s. Kasper shivered, this time from the cold, and he reached to try and grab the comforter Noah pushed down earlier. Noah chuckled at him being unable to reach it, which granted him a tug on his hair from Kasper.

“It’s not my fault you’re puny,” he argued as he found the blanket and tugged it up over them.

“You’re just laying on me so I couldn’t get it.” Kasper yanked his hair again.

“Yeah, yeah.”

Kasper rolled his eyes and turned his head to press a kiss to the top of Noah’s head.

“I love you,” Noah mumbled, his lips softly kissing a spot of skin on his chest.

It took only minutes for the two to pass out again with Noah’s digits tracing shapes into Kasper’s chest, and Kasper gently playing with the brunette’s hair.

[kaspersauer]

maura1x1: 

Noah’s mind was racing and simultaneously trying not to look at what remained of Mr. Svenson’s face.  His landlord was dead.  The guy in front of him had killed him.  His landlord also tried to attack Noah.  But he wasn’t a zombie.  Despite what Noah had just seen before his very own eyes, he was still a practical person.  Zombies weren’t real.  People don’t come back from the dead.  But he had seen Mr. Svenson practically rabid.  Maybe it was some sort of disease?  Mad Cow?  Actual Rabies?  For a brief moment Noah’s mind flicked to the subject of rent, wondering if he could get a few free months out of this entire thing.  He then thought about how uncomfortable he was, the feeling of acidic retch in his nasal cavity and the taste still lingering in his mouth.  The feeling only served to remind him what had caused him to vomit and then, god damnit, he looked.  

He tried to keep it together, tried to break out of the cycle he could already feel starting.  If he started freaking out again, he’d look at Mr. Svenson, and if he looked at Mr. Svenson, he’d continue freaking out, it would be a hellish circle he wasn’t sure he’d be able to escape from

It wasn’t until he felt the squeeze of the other man’s hand on his shoulder did he start to tune back in, and realize he had been speaking to him the entire time.  He tried to pause, rewind, remember what he had been saying, but he couldn’t. His eyes found Mr. Svenson once more.  Sure, he had been an asshole, but that didn’t mean he deserved to die.  They killed him.  They were murderers.  Had it been self defense?  Could they prove that?  He could feel himself starting to spiral again, but surprisingly the feeling of the other’s hand on his shoulder, and voice in his ear steadied him, if only for a moment.  A reminder that things would only get worse if they stayed

Noah had to steel himself, give himself a reason not to spiral, and despite not knowing shit about this pizza guy, he used him.  This guy seemed oddly devoted to the idea of bringing Noah along, and if Noah didn’t get it together it wasn’t only his life at stake (something he had never considered very precious) but someone else’s.  And he had already seen one person die tonight, he didn’t want to see another.  He forced his eyes off of his dead landlord and onto the face of his blonde savior.  

“Alright.  Let’s go.”  He still felt sick to his stomach and his head was still spinning, but he set out on a determined walk towards the stairwell that led down to the parking out front, where he assumed the pizza guy had parked his car.  But then, he stopped in his tracks, hearing a faint growling.  “Wait—Should we, I don’t know…Use a back way or something?”

It was relieving to see the guy’s moment of panic pass. Any longer, and he probably would have given rise to Kasper’s own anxiety, and at that point the two would be done for. They would have just kept increasing each other’s weakness and turned into melting wrecks. Clearly, he was definitely going to have to keep two feet firmly on the ground around this person in order to keep the two going. That was what he’d have to do anyway, his plan regardless, but it was obvious now that it was absolutely necessary. Kasper wasn’t going to be able to let his demeanor falter for a second, his carriage unwavering.

Kasper followed the suddenly much more determined guy, some sort of bravery kicking in. He was good with that. It wasn’t long before he stopped though, and Kasper followed suit, hearing what he assumed the other guy did. He nodded promptly in agreeance, “Yeah, yeah we should. Wherever will be the least likely to be populated but still get us out quickly.” The brunette nodded and turned, leading Kasper in a different direction. He kept up with him, trailing along right next to him and letting him take them out of the building as hastily as possible. Thankfully, they didn’t run into anymore tenants on before they finally got outside.

They were on the other side of the building, though, and the pizza boy gestured in the direction the parking lot was in. They edged the corner of the building and Kasper pointed to his car. “That one,” Kasper breathed out. The boy stepped forward and Kasper swiftly grabbed the back of his jacket and pulled him back. “Wait,” he gasped, “we need to think.” He pressed his back against the building and evened his breathing. After an attempted break in, Kasper’s key slot was broken, and now he had to use his remote to unlock it, which mean making noise was going to be unavoidable. That was going to draw attention to them. “We’ll go up to the car and as soon as I unlock it, get in, okay?”

Running to the car, Kasper unlocked it and watched as the long legged boy slipped in. He had to make it around to the driver side, when a tall bloodied zombie woman came around the vehicle next to his. “Fuck!” He cursed loudly, swinging the lid at her, but it hit the side of her shoulder and her swinging arms knocked it out of his hands and onto the ground. For fuck’s sake, was this woman related to Michael Jordan? He ducked her clutch and clicked the trunk button on his remote, the hatch flying open. Kasper reached in and pulled out the first thing he felt, his machete. He ducked her again as he unhooked the case, swiftly pulling it through the air the second it was out. He watched as the woman’s head fell from her body, her undead body still twitching as it took a step and fell next to her head.

He took a few deep breaths before closing his trunk quietly and getting into the driver’s seat next to his new partner. As he pulled away from the parking lot, the car jolted as he backed over the body of the zombie he’d just decapitated. He almost felt bad, sad that this person’s life was over. In order to avoid those feelings, his brain told him to cover it with humor. He looked at the man in the passenger seat and raised a brow. “No ZWNBA for her, I guess.”

[kaspersauer]

maura1x1:

Noah wasn’t sure what it was about tonight but he found himself saying things that normally would think—Wait, yes, he did know why.  He was high, he was stressed the fuck out, and dealing with someone he was still ninety nine percent sure was on drugs.  “Oh that sounds like a great strategy for team building, or whatever the fuck it is you’ve recruited me for.”  The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, and he almost wanted to slap a hand over his mouth.  In fact, he found himself doing that before he could stop it.  

He never regretted anything more in his entire life than choosing to smoke an entire joint on today of all days.

“Still cumbersome.” he muttered to himself after receiving a stink eye, knowing that despite only having met this man less than 10 minutes ago, he didn’t seem to take constructive criticism well.

But still he followed as the blonde moved through the apartment, practically riding his ass (like any true New Englander would), so much so that he almost bumped into him as he stopped at the door.

Noah wasn’t exactly sure what was happening or what the plan was, but by the time he had put it all together and began to open his mouth to protest, it was too late, the blonde had swung the door open and took off.  Noah was just glad that his legs were so much longer than the other’s and despite their head start, he was easily able to catch up.

His brain was still having an extremely hard time understanding exactly what he was doing following this stranger.  He still didn’t believe what he said was happening was in fact taking place, but the weather sirens weren’t a joke, so obviously something was happening.

Without warning a guttural sound filled the air around them, it was like nothing Noah had ever heard.  The only thing he could compare it to was finding a rabid Canada Lynx stuck in a bear trap just beyond the reaches of his parents’ backyard in Maine.  The thing had started to chew it’s own leg off in an attempt to get out, clearly not in it’s right mind.

His eyes landed on the blonde, looking for some type of guidance.  What in the fuck was that?  Where was it coming from?  And then his worst fears were realized, he saw a look of pure terror overcome the face of the stranger he somewhat stupidly decided to follow.  Noah had barely processed what was happening before the blonde was yelling and pointing at whatever was behind him.

Turning around, his mouth dropped open, and if it had been any other situation the look on his face would’ve been quite comical.  

His instincts told him to raise his arms, to run, to fight it off, to do something.  But all Noah could do was stare, fingers wrapped tightly around his kitchen knife.  

Words were spilling out of his mouth but he couldn’t even remember trying to say them.  “What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck whatthefuckwhatthe—”

And suddenly the blond was on him, hitting him with the weapon Noah had been criticizing  only moments before.  Noah’s mouth clamped shut and his panicked words ceased as blood, or whatever that was splattered on his face, coming off of the toilet top.

The Pizza Guy looked up at him, and just ever so casually asked ‘you good?’.  Noah’s mouth opened, trying to formulate some response but all that came out was vomit.  

He was able to lean over the railing just in time to avoid hitting the stranger or…Oh God, was that Mr. Svenson?  Did that kid just kill his landlord?

Finally he was able to get it together enough to squeak something out

“No.  Decidedly not good.”

"Oh, jesus fu--” He clasped a hand over his mouth and took a deep breath. Kasper quickly turned his head away from the sight in front of him, vomit pouring out of the guy’s mouth. 

Kasper had seen hundreds of hours worth of the horror film industry’s most vulgar gore and could handle it all like a champ. Blood, guts, death, it didn’t bother him. Sure, he didn’t have much real world experience with blood and guts -- not that this guy would have believed that five minutes ago, what with thinking he was a cracked out serial killer and whatnot before a zombie hurdled itself at him -- but judging by his reaction to killing this first zombie, it wasn’t going to be too bad. However... vomit? He was done. Unfortunately, he was one of those people whose gag reflex was immediately threatened upon seeing someone else puke, or even hearing them. He tried his hardest not to be dramatic about it, but in his mind he could swear he could smell it (even though he couldn’t), and hearing the man retch, the sound of the throw up hitting the floor over the railing, had Kasper gagging. He kept it quiet, to himself, not wanting to seem dramatic or make it worse for the other guy. 

As soon as the guy was done, getting a few words out, Kasper dropped his hand from his mouth and took a deep breath. He slapped the guy on his back and shrugged. “Okay... Could we possibly decidedly switch that up to good? Even just a decidedly okay would be fine, too.” He pursed his lips, knowing it wasn’t that simple, but they really didn’t have much choice. If this guy couldn’t pull it together now, then they might not make it out of here alive. “When we get to my car you can be not good as much as you want, I swear. We really need to get out of here, though. This is an entire apartment building... things are only going to get worse.” 

Assumably, people were in their homes hiding or unaware like this guy was, zombies were currently locked in the apartments or stuck in stairwells, and as tenants either came out of their apartments or returned to the building, they’d turn as well. This place was just going to get more and more zombie filled the longer they waited, and they needed to get out now. 

Reflecting on the slap he gave to the guy’s back, he felt like an asshole football dad who calls his male gendered kids by female nicknames and tells them to suck it up. While the last part might be true and necessary in the moment, he could tell that might be the exact opposite of how to handle this guy. Kasper wasn’t good with these things, but he had to give it a try. He’d also have to get better at it if this was going to be his apocalypse partner from here on out. 

Kasper reached to give the guy’s shoulder a good squeeze, his voice calm. “We’ve got to leave. Are you ready to keep going?” He dropped his hand, unsure of how much was too much. Was that too much? Would that make the guy feel worse instead of better? Kasper didn’t so much as shake people’s hands, usually, and he didn’t want to make the person uncomfortable when the goal was to make him more at ease. All it did was make Kasper a little uneasy, but it was fine as long as it helped pizza boy. 

“Uh,” he took a step back from the guy, not wanting him to feel like he was too close or too touchy now, “Sorry.”  Kasper watched his face.  He was going to be as patient as possible, let the guy gather himself before they high tailed it back out. His voice was still calm, so as not to sound like he was pushing him to hurry or anything, even though they did need to hurry. “Whenever you’re ready...” 

[maura1x1]

‘i can’t believe we survived’ sex B)

oh boy.  i’m so sorry.

Keep reading

[kaspersauer]

He didn’t say anything in response to Noah, his mind still coming down from the high he’d just been given, his brain cloudy. Even if having brain fog from the bliss had subsided, he still may have been frozen. As he laid there, chest heaving, breath slowly returning to normal, all he could concentrate on in that moment was how much he cared about Noah. How badly he wanted to be with him always. How much he loved being close to him, and how greatly he loved the way Noah made him feel. How much… he loved Noah…

His throat tightened, making it hard to breathe. 

Really, he’d known for awhile. The first time Noah uttered those three words to him, he felt it even then. It was a twinge of emotion deep inside him every time Noah looked at him or spoke softly, a strange sort of confusing yearning. It was confusing and strange because how can you yearn for something right in front of you? It was more than that. More than yearning for the person. It was yearning for all of them, their being, their everything. To have them and keep them. These were things he’d felt, tried to work through during nights when Noah fell asleep before him. But despite feeling the love in return at the time that Noah had spoken the words, and despite his reflections on it, something in him had told him he wasn’t certain or incapable of saying or feeling it back. 

This was it. The certainty had made its way through. Along with a chaotic tsunami of fear, but still. He felt it at the forefront of his whole being. It wasn’t a twinge of feelings deep inside, but a bundle of emotions heating up his chest and making his stomach stir. 

Perhaps it was the situation they’d been in earlier that caused his readiness to surface, making him realize that the feelings he’d had for Noah all this time were real and they were ever present. If he didn’t make them known now, what if he never got the chance? He was fairly sure that Noah knew, having not been upset when Kasper didn’t reciprocate the declaration of love, and knowing how Kasper was with other people versus with him, but it was important. It felt important. He needed to know, out loud, clear.

He moved over onto his side, the two boys still close enough even after parting that he rolled into Noah’s side. Noah accepted Kasper’s position, moving his arm so that Kasper’s head rested on his shoulder. Neither of them acknowledged the wet stickiness from Kasper’s chest that was now between the two of them, the aftermath of the love they’d just shared. Kasper tangled one leg with Noah’s and carefully set a trembling hand on the boy’s chest. If given the choice, he might never move from this spot. 

He moved his head back slightly so that he could look at Noah. Noah looked back, his eyes soft, gentle, yet still stressed from earlier. He hated to see that, wishing he could whisk away any stress or anxiety that may be lingering in Noah’s brain. His eyes moved down his face, studying his sleepy eyes, the freckles on his nose, the pinkness of his lips – even more rose colored than usual thanks to all their kisses. He loved each tiny thing about him. 

Kasper licked his lips, trying to prepare himself to say what he was feeling, but his throat remained closed in fear. His heart beat in his ears, loud enough for the world to hear. He suddenly felt like he was under a spotlight. He swallowed and his eyes averted down to his hand on Noah’s soft chest, still trembling slightly, ever so lightly moving in small strokes against his skin. He closed his eyes tightly, the pounding of his heart echoing in his head. 

Finally, he opened his mouth to speak the words, but then stopped. He couldn’t hide in himself anymore. He needed to see Noah and Noah needed to see him while he did this. He looked to Noah again, finding those big eyes he loved so much. His new home. Noah looked back expectantly, almost confused looking. He realized he was being a little strange, acting like he was about to tell his conservative mom he was gay, or about to give the news of his cancer test results. This wasn’t good, with Noah being anxiety ridden and whatnot. He needed to choke it out now.

His eyes burned, and if he could kick himself he would. He did not want to cry right now, but with the flood of emotion his body was really fighting him. That’s what you get for trying to refuse to let yourself feel anything half the time. It all came out when you wanted it to the least.  As he blinked, one single tear that was stinging his eyes rolled out, hot against his skin as it made its way down the side of his face and onto Noah’s arm.  After everything today, he had a million levels of built up emotion in him that was spilling out in this single tear. The only thing keeping him together now was the safety of Noah around him.

Kasper took a deep breath. 

 “I love you, too, Noah.” He paused, searching Noah’s eyes. His voice got softer now, “I just… thought you should know that. I wanted you to know that.”

[kaspersauer]

maura1x1: 

Noah had continued to unconsciously inch closer to the pizza delivery boy, he seemed to have something resembling a grip on the situation, and in this moment, Noah would take all the direction he could get.  Noah had always been a follower and tended to flock in the direction of more dominant personalities, and right now it looked like it was another round of Follow the Leader.  

He jumped back slightly, much like before, as the blonde yelled at him to shut up.  He was probably being incredibly annoying and needy at the moment, but Noah couldn’t help but feel a bit offended, and with lowered inhibitions, he actually opened up his damn mouth and said something about it.

“Jesus, sorry for reacting like a fucking human.” He scoffed, alluding to the fact that it was the blonde’s reaction which was more worrying.  When Noah had knowledge on a situation, and was prepared for it, despite his ever present anxiety he could actually be quite cool headed under pressure.  But this was the exact opposite of that, he wasn’t sure what was happening, and even if he did take this random man’s word on the situation, how in the world could it be something he was prepared for?  

He thought that question would be something that applied to everyone, but apparently not this fucking guy.  After a moment of hesitation, he sprung into action, and Noah couldn’t help but stand there and just watch him run throughout Noah’s small apartment, asking questions that seemed rhetorical or that he answered himself before Noah could even get a word in edgewise.  

It wasn’t until guy called out to him to pack up some shit, did Noah realize he should probably be helping and began to move, darting into his bedroom.  He grabbed an old, leather duffle bag that his family had sent him off across the country with.  It had seen better days, but the fact that it was still sturdy after all this time was a testament to it’s strength.  If this was the fucking end of the world, Noah figured sturdy clothes were his best bet, and being from New England and living in the Pacific Northwest thats all he practically had anyways.  He threw in what he considered, after a moment of thinking, his most practical clothes before slipping on his Carhartt work boots, another gift from his family, although these were more of a necessity when his father forced him to work construction with him during the summers.  

He ran to the bathroom, grabbing a tooth brush, but had to pause to think of what else would be considered a necessity.  Opening his drawer on the cabinet, his eyes momentarily lingered on a box of condoms and a bottle of lube, but quickly passed them over.  If this was a zombie apocalypse and this dude was going to be his partner in crime, he highly doubted he’d be needing those.  He was about to head back out into the living room, when it dawned on him.  God Bless his father being a backwoods bumpkin.  He ran back into his bedroom and pulled out a box from under his bed.  Opening it up, he can’t believe he almost let this fucking treasure trove go to waste.  His father had always been obsessed with hunting, and had always wanted Noah to be obsessed too.  Noah really never got into the idea of killing other living things (’Stop bein’ such a pansy, Noah’, he’d say), but his father forced him to join him anyways.  And every birthday, his father would add another knife to Noah’s dust covered collection.  He had a variety of different hunting knives, most being Bucks as those were his father’s preferred brands, but he also had a few full tangs, which he knew would definitely come in handy.  Reaching a bit farther under the bed, his hands grappled to find the leather thigh and hip strap that had been gifted by his uncle and aunt.  

Pulling it out, he strapped up as many knives as it would hold before wrapping it around the strap of his bag and started to head into the living room.  Half way there, he paused.  He didn’t know this guy.  This guy could still be some methed out rando.  Thinking, Noah slowly undid the buckle of the holster from the strap of his bag before throwing it in with his clothes and other necessities.  He didn’t need this guy knowing he had these weapons.  If he tried something, having the element of surprise couldn’t help.  He took a deep breath before continuing his way into the living room.

Pizza dude nearly rushed him with a knife, causing Noah to take yet another step away.  Upon realizing that he was just trying to hand it to him, he took a breath.  He took the bag and the knife out of his hand, and offered him a nod of thanks, despite the fact that he knew what he had in his bag were much more conducive for maiming and…Well, killing, than a kitchen knife, but he tried to keep his face even.  

His brows raised though as the dude sprinted off one more time, returning with a….Was that the top to his toilet?

“So you’re gonna go through the trouble of lugging that around, when in all likely hood you could hit someone with that…Once?  Twice? Before it breaks?” This guy seemed like the expert here, but with the statement that he had ‘seen it in a movie’ Noah suddenly began to lose faith.

“I’m going to ignore your negativity,” Kasper stated blankly. The lid would get him through the apartment building until they got to his car, and that’s all he’d need it for. “And for your information, it’s pretty lightweight and these things don’t break that easily.” He gave a pointed look, eyes narrowed at him as he took back the bag he’d thrown together in the kitchen and throwing it over his shoulder.

He purposely pushed past him back to the door, not as nervous about leaving the apartment now that he wasn’t going to be doing so alone. “Alright,” he sighed, “we’re doing it.” The guy nodded either in agreeance or just to convince himself he was calm. He stepped close to Kasper again, which would have made Kasper laugh if it wasn’t serious time. This guy most definitely thought Kasper was lunatic, a giant asshole, and a serial killer, yet he still found it in him to inch closer to him at the thought of danger. It was probably subconscious, but still. Riding a wave of courage, Kasper opened the door before he could think twice, scanning the area as he stepped out into the hallway, pizza boy on his heels. Deciding it was best to high tail it, Kasper took off the same way he’d come up, running down the halls.

The brunette trailed after him, letting his door close loudly behind him. “Fuck!” Kasper exclaimed in a whisper yell, afraid that the sound of the door would bring a zombie to them. He was right. They only got to the end of the hall before a wild snarling sound could be heard, sounding closer and closer with each second. “Oh no,” he whispered, taking a few steps backward and trying to figure out which direction it was coming from. The apartment floor was squared out, so the sound echoed off the hall walls, like they were in a hamster tube. It was on them now, the sound definitely behind them. He whipped around, a redheaded zombie about 5’8” wearing a pantsuit heading straight for his new apocalypse partner. “Hey!” Kasper yelled and pointed behind him. Fearful looking, he spun around, but he just stood there, knuckles turning white as he gripped the knife he held. There wasn’t any time for hesitation. Kasper lunged forward and pushed the guy to the side so that he wouldn’t hit him as he brought the toilet tank lid back, swinging it as hard as he could into the zombie’s head. It fell to the floor, but Kasper slammed the corner of the lid into its head twice more for good measure, the side of the zombie’s head cracked open and bleeding onto the floor.

“Gross,” he mumbled, looking down at it in disgust. It was strange to think that this was going to be their new normal. “Here’s to new hobbies, I suppose.” 

He tilted his head back and took a deep breath, then looked over to the male he would now be sharing this... adventure with. “Uh… You good?”

[kaspersauer]

“Clear,” Noah affirmed quietly as he came down the stairs, stopping on the last one. Kasper came to the foot of the stairs, and nodded to let him know the first floor was also clear. The two finished checking out the first and second floor of the house they’d stumbled upon, making sure it was both survivor and zombie-free before they could relax. With no sign of threat, Noah slid the knife in his hand back into its place in the thigh sheath he had on his pants. Kasper bit his lip as he watched this, something about him handling the sharp weapons so expertly always making his insides flutter.

He met Noah’s eyes, a cheeky grin sneaking its way onto his face. With Kasper on a step below him, Noah was now almost a whole foot taller than him and felt way too far away. He slowly took a step up the staircase, standing next to him but still being too short for how close he wanted to be. Kasper broke their eye contact and continued up, his shoulder brushing Noah’s as he walked past him. Once he was almost to the top, he looked back to glance at Noah, who looked like he’d just broken out of a trance and began to run up after Kasper. Kasper grinned and quickly disappeared into the nearest room, which happened to be a bedroom. It had a second door which looked like it connected to a bathroom. Noah had come up the stairs now and looked around, the smallest smirk appearing on his face as he spotted Kasper.

Kasper met his smirk with his own and dropped his backpack on the floor, his right hand coming up under the front of his shirt, teasing Noah with the bit of skin he displayed while he took a few steps backwards toward the bathroom. Noah followed him into the bedroom, closing the door and locking it after him. Yeah, it was the apocalypse... but it still felt right to go through the motions. Plus, any bit of normalcy in this chaotic hell provided a comfort.

It only took Noah a few strides of his long legs to make it across the room to Kasper. His heart picked up in anticipation, backing away from him faster now. Once Noah reached him Kasper was near the bathroom counter. Noah dropped his own backpack on the tile, and the motion of Noah closing his fists around Kasper’s shirt caused his back to hit the counter, eliciting a pleased groan from Kasper. He reached a hand up and grasped Noah’s hair, pulling his head to the side. Without assistance, his lips only met the top of his chest, but as he stood on his toes to make himself taller, he continued to press kisses along the boy’s neck. Noah hummed, his body leaning in closer to Kasper. Being this close to him had his heart thumping, and his lips tingling at every little kiss he left.

Noah pulled his head back down to look at Kasper again, stepping forward which both pushed Kasper harder against the counter but also Noah against Kasper, which he definitely did not mind. With one hand only, he released his grip on Kasper’s shirt and brought it up to his face, pulling him away from Noah’s neck to look at him. Their eyes met for a long moment, their faces getting closer at a painfully slow pace. Kasper stood on his toes still, and Noah leaned down into him. Their lips brushed together but didn’t fully touch yet, lighting a hot yearning in Kasper’s chest.

It had been a long while since they’d been close at all, really. You’d think with the world being like… over and all, they’d have all the time in the world to fuck around. Well, that wasn’t really the case. It was true at times; they’d have a decent week of finding good shelter and a limited near death experiences; then they’d have a week full of being on edge at all times and endless stretches of roads and days since their last good amount of sleep. The latter is how it’d been for them recently. The miles seemed to drag on and the hordes of zombies seemed thicker than they had the week prior. Maybe it varied this way based on where they were traveling around… maybe it was just one cosmic fucking joke. Either way, now that they’d finally found a place to sleep at night and no one else to share with, it was inevitable that they’d soon be all over each other.

Was it really much of a shocker? They were two young guys (a demographic unanimously known for being horny 24/7) looking at the end of the world with what seemed to be an intense attraction to each other. The odds seemed slim, but that’s how their cards were played and they were making the most of it.

“Fucking kiss me already, bonehead,” Kasper demanded sternly, though his voice was nearly a whisper. Noah grinned at his words and obliged. The very moment their lips touched, a groan was already crawling its way up Kasper’s throat. God, it’d been way too long. The closest they’d really been in days and days had been a little spooning as they went to sleep, but both were so fucking tired that as soon as they got the chance in a safe place they were knocked out immediately. There was a bit of hand holding here and there, maybe a chaste kiss once or twice, but that was about it. Now, all Kasper wanted was him.

Kasper wanted him so bad.

His free hand slid down Noah’s side and searched for his belt loops, looping a finger through and pulling his hips closer. Even with Noah’s head dipped down, Kasper strained to reach his lips, his body out of the energy it took to remain on his toes. It’s not that he couldn’t completely reach, but he was exhausted and reaching up was tiring, especially when he just wanted Noah as close as possible. Either Noah just felt it in the moment, or he could tell Kasper was struggling to remain attached to his lips, because in a second his hands were on Kasper’s sides and pushing him up onto the counter. Much better. Immediately after, Kasper was heating the kiss up now that he had an all access pass to Noah’s face. 

Noah stood in between Kasper’s legs, hands still gripping onto Kasper’s thighs. He stuck his hands up Noah’s shirt and trailed them up to his chest, feeling goosebumps on his skin where he’d touched as he moved them back down. He smiled against Noah’s lips at the involuntary reaction to his touch.

“Shut up,” Noah mumbled in response through their kissing.

“Never.” Kasper’s grin remained, and Noah tugged on his hips to pull him closer to the edge of the counter, causing Kasper’s groin to meet Noah’s. 

He was already semi hard -- yeah, that fast -- and the feeling of Noah against him made him break their kiss, his head dropping back and hitting the mirror behind him. Noah’s lips kept working, however, sucking on the skin underneath Kasper’s jaw. He squirmed under Noah’s lips which only served for their increasingly sensitive parts to rub against each other again, drawing a quiet moan from Noah. God, Kasper loved that sound. Noah took that moment to pull Kasper’s shirt off his body and drop it on the floor. Kasper licked his bottom lip and pushed off the mirror to kiss Noah again, a little sloppier than before.

Then, there was a loud bang against the door. Noah stiffened right away, but Kasper was high enough that it took him a moment to come down. They’d parted, Noah’s head swinging around in the direction of the noise, but Kasper’s eyes remained closed, his mouth still open. “No,” he whined.

“Shh,” Noah shushed.

Kasper opened his eyes with furrowed brows and tried not to pout. “Don’t shush me.” He listened anyway, quieting to hear a scratching at the door accompanied by a low growling sound. Another thump on the door. “I thought you checked up here…”

“I did!” Noah defended, voice barely above a whisper. “I thought you checked downstairs.”

“I did.”

“Well, it’s definitely a zombie. How did we miss it?”

“I honestly don’t care right now.” He really should have, but all he cared about was getting Noah’s clothes off, to be truthful. Kasper leaned forward and pressed a warm, open mouthed kiss to Noah’s neck. Noah hesitated, swallowing.

“We…” Noah began to speak, but the blonde boy in front of him insisted on antagonizing him. Kasper’s tongue moved softly along his neck before pressing another kiss to it. “We should take care of it.”

“We’re fine,” argued Kasper, kissing his chin.

“Kasper--” Noah started in, worry on his face. He began to move away from Kasper, but Kasper quickly wrapped his legs around Noah’s waist and pulled him back in. They both had a look of momentary pleasure flash across their faces as they met in the middle again. “Kasper.”

“We’re fine,” he insisted. He crossed his ankles behind Noah and continued to pull on him, locking him in tightly against him. “Obviously, it’s a slow and weak one or something.” The thing had taken this long to get around to them, must have come from some hiding place where he ended up turning zombie anyway, starving and weak. He must have killed the one who turned him, because he was definitely alone. There was at least 15 seconds between each limp pound he made against the door. He nodded toward the bathroom door and Noah hesitantly reached back and closed it gently, locking it.  “And now we’ve got two sets of doors between us.” He pressed a soft kiss to Noah’s lips as one of his hands, still under his shirt, made its way down to his pants, tugging on the waistband and reaching a hand in. With a belt in the way he couldn’t do much, but his fingertips grazed Noah’s growing length and he felt Noah’s breath hitch.

“Fuck,” he exhaled. Kasper nodded slowly, their lips brushing against each other as he did so.

“Please,” Kasper practically begged, “I want you.” He finally had Noah and he wasn’t going to let this break their moment.

“Fuck...” he repeated. Kasper waited, Noah apparently thinking about whether his anxiety was going to let him let this go. “Could I just -- really quick --”

“No,” Kasper said firmly, bringing his other hand up behind Noah’s neck and pulling him down into a hard kiss.

At this point, Noah must have found it too hard to argue anymore and Kasper’s actions clouded any anxiety he felt, the boy roughly grabbing at Kasper’s thighs and delving into their kiss. The smacking of their lips and breathy groans filled the air, the sounds of the Z outside fading away as he got lost in Noah’s touch. Honestly, the slight fear of one being out there made this hotter, his heartbeat in his ears a little faster than before, and he knew Noah was mildly freaking out but the desire in his body was fighting off the fears in his head.

Tongue’s meeting, Noah’s mouth tasted like sugar and sweets from the taste of their last meal having no nutrients but being a sugary calorie loaded item to keep them going, but salty around the outside from dried sweat as they drove through the summer heat all day. He was literally a fucking treat, salty and sweet. He tasted better than any fancy dessert he could think of, he was the dessert. Noah was his favorite snack, even in this goddamn apocalypse when good food and your favorite candy bar was a rarity.

Kasper pulled his hand out of Noah’s waistband to tug at his shirt, wanting to feel him chest to chest already. Noah tugged it off, and immediately brought his lips back to Kasper’s. Now that he could be sure Noah wasn’t going anywhere, he unlocked his ankles and toed his boots and socks off, the shoes making loud thumps as they fell to the floor. Noah did the same, nearly losing his balance as he moved too quickly to try and tug off the boots. Kasper laughed against his lips and held onto his waist, his legs around the boy’s hips keeping him in place. Noah only smiled against his lips and kissed him harder, grinding his hips into Kasper’s.

“Mm,” Kasper hummed, tugging at his bottom lip with his teeth before parting from him to look between them. He bit his own lip and began to undo Noah’s belt. He looked up at Noah’s face as he did so, the other boy staring down at Kasper’s hands while he worked on his pants. As much as he just wanted Noah’s pants off, he enjoyed watching lust pool in the boy’s eyes. So, he took his time. He pulled on the belt, the fabric slowly unwrapping itself from around Noah’s hips. The metal clanged as it fell through Kasper’s fingers and hit the floor. He popped upon the button and pulled slowly down the zipper, swiping his tongue across his bottom lip as he did so. He was driving himself crazy at this point. Would pulling his underwear down with his pants right now be too soon?

Before he could decide, Noah’s hands were making their way up his thighs and undoing Kasper’s pants. He was making much quicker work than Kasper had, which he certainly wouldn’t complain about. With Kasper sitting, Noah couldn’t pull the pants down entirely, but he tugged on the tops of them which pulled them away from Kasper’s hips, along with rolling the waistband to his underwear down a couple times. Noah gripped the back of Kasper’s knee and yanked on it, forcing Kasper’s hips into his own. His lips crashed into Kasper’s and he leaned into him, which leaned Kasper back, his upper back and head being pushed against the mirror behind him.

Kasper’s legs tightened and moved up around Noah’s waist again, begging him for some friction. Noah obliged, rocking his hips into the blonde’s and inciting some pleased moans from him. He stilled his movements, reaching into Kasper’s underwear and pulling him out. A sharp exhale left Kasper, his lips pausing against Noah’s as his large hand wrapped around Kasper’s hard on, his thumb swiping up around the tip. Kasper’s hands came up and gripped Noah’s shoulders as he began toying with him.

“Fuck, Noah,” he groaned through Noah’s kisses, not even able to concentrate on kissing him properly now. He was so fucking turned on and desperate for Noah’s touch, that it didn’t take hardly any effort at all for the brunette to get him fully erect.

Noah’s groin was still pressed against Kasper, and he could feel that as he worked on Kasper, he continued to get harder himself. Kasper pressed his fingers harder into Noah’s skin and moved one hand down his back and into his underwear, grabbing his ass and pushing him against Kasper. At the suggestion, Noah ground his hips into Kasper again, his kissing growing more desperate, sloppier against Kasper’s mouth. His tongue slid down Kasper’s chin and onto his neck, biting at it. With the hand in his pants, he attempted to push Noah’s pants and underwear down, the unbuttoned pants falling to the floor but his briefs unmoving.

“I want you to fuck me,” Kasper urged, urgently wanting more of his boy, “now.” Noah stilled and pulled away from Kasper’s mouth, desire scrawled across his face. “Now,” Kasper demanded, pushing off the mirror and sitting up straight to assert his presence. Noah’s eyes gleamed, a small grin flashing on his face. It may not be acknowledged, nor admitted, but Noah liked being told what to do, while still having a lot of control physically. They had quite a balance going.

Noah pulled his underwear down and stepped out of them, pushing them and his pants aside with his foot. Kasper took a second to appreciate all of Noah’s naked glory as he stood before him, leaning over to grab the lube out of his backpack. He couldn’t help the giggle that escaped him as Noah came back up, purely out of excitement for what was to come, and for the fact that he still got giddy seeing this man naked, every time, as if he was a 12 year old straight boy seeing boobs for the first time. Noah probably knew exactly why he was giggling, a grin on his own face as he shook his head at him.

“You’re stupid,” Noah insisted, pressing a few kisses to Kasper’s lips.

A close mouthed grin wide on his face, Kasper hummed, reaching down to grab Noah’s cock, wrapping his hand around it and stroking upward. “Don’t make me fucking fight you,” Kasper replied in between kisses.

Noah only smirked before he swiftly pulled Kasper off of the counter, Kasper’s bare feet hitting the tile and sending shivers up his body. The tall boy spun Kasper around and bent him over the counter, then quickly shoved his pants and underwear down in one go. Kasper’s eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head, a low hum vibrating his throat. This shit turned him on so fucking much. He stepped out of his pants and kicked them aside, setting his hands on the counter and glancing back at Noah.

The sound of the lube’s cap opening and closing echoed in the bathroom before it was tossed somewhere on the floor. Noah leaned forward and kissed the smaller male while he stroked the lube onto himself, then brought his hand up to Kasper’s entrance, rubbing the lube against it and making Kasper moan quietly again. Noah removed his hand from the area and ran it up Kasper’s back, curling his fingers in the boy’s blonde hair. His member grazed against Kasper’s cheeks and he was damn near trembling under Noah’s touch.

Kasper pulled away from Noah’s kisses and reached up to put a hand in his hair. “I need you so bad.” He missed having the boy under his fingertips badly enough, his desire to have him back inside him was turning into an urgent need.

“Shit, Kasper,” Noah breathed out. Kasper’s hand left his hair and he began kissing Kasper’s shoulder and down his back. Kasper could feel him reach between them, then press himself against Kasper.

Finally, after what felt like forever, Noah was inside him. The relief was sweet, even if it was only the smallest bit of Noah. Even though it’s not like upon entry everything was perfectly pleasuring straight off the bat, it was just being with him and having him there that still sent pleasure through him. Kasper’s eyes closed and his head dropped down onto the counter, heaving in anticipation. He pushed back against Noah, asking for more. Noah moaned, and Kasper bit his lip at the sound, moving back again and inciting a moan of his own as Noah went further into him. One more push, and they were connected ass to hips. Kasper couldn’t help the smile that took hold of his face. He loved Noah inside him more than anything anymore.

With the start of a rhythmic thrusting, Noah leaned over and bit onto Kasper’s skin. Both of them had a hard time controlling their noises, moans coming from the two of them over and over again. They were being needy, and Noah’s movements were fairly swift as he filled Kasper, and Kasper relished each thrust. The weight of Noah against his back brought him an intense level of comfort, the brunette continuing to kiss his neck and back and bite on his skin.

Noah’s hand ran down Kasper’s arm, and his fingers intertwined with the blonde’s. Even now, while they were having a desperate and needy (and desperately needed) quickie(ish), Noah was kind of a softy... Kasper kind of loved it. He tried to be more dominant than usual sometimes, such as he did when he bent Kasper over the counter, but he could never keep it up forever. Kasper was fairly sure he liked the intimacy, but he wouldn’t ever say it for some reason. They really balanced each other out in many ways. Kasper struggled with showing emotional intimacy but he wanted it badly, while Noah struggled showing the physical side more often but when they were alone he could be a big softy; Noah was full of emotions at all times, and Kasper wanted to touch Noah at all times. Kasper was more dominant in personality, but Noah liked to be in control of their physicality; their sexual desires collided perfectly. There’s no way there was any fucking kind of god with this apocalypse shit going on, but it seemed impossible that Kasper and Noah ended up in this shitstorm together without some kind of cosmic fucking assistance. Yet, here they were.

He squeezed Noah’s fingers with his knuckles, his mouth opening in pleasure as Noah lunged into him. His thrusts were getting even faster, and he knew that Noah was getting close. It’d been long enough and they were tired enough that this didn’t need to last for very long. They just needed to get their fill of each other before they could relax. Noah’s other hand left Kasper’s hair and moved to his hip, gripping it tightly as he moved, nearing the end of his ride. Kasper’s free hand clutched the side of the counter, knuckles white as he moved his hips with Noah. He growled -- which sent a brand new flood of Kasper’s blood south -- and bit into Kasper’s skin one more time before he stood up straight, his fingers digging into Kasper’s skin as he pounded into him. Kasper’s moans just got louder as Noah got closer, hitting him in the best spot every time. Noah let go of Kasper’s hand and moved it to Kasper’s groin, squeezing his hand around him and stroking Kasper’s length to the speed of his thrusts.

“Fuck, babe,” he cried out, slamming into him once before cumming into Kasper’s body. Kasper felt every bit of  the warmth of his orgasm, a smile spreading across his face as he bit down on his lip. He loved the feeling of pleasing Noah. Noah collapsed on top of Kasper’s back, slowly moving himself in and out of Kasper, riding out his orgasm and still stroking Kasper. He honestly wasn’t far behind Noah, each stroke making Kasper see colors. Kasper could feel Noah’s chest shudder against him, trembling as he enjoyed the waves. This lasted a few minutes as Noah came down a few notches. The blonde reached up and ran his hand through Noah’s locks, turning his head to kiss Noah. Noah immediately returned it, passionate and open mouthed. He parted and dropped his head against Kasper’s shoulder, pressing light kisses against his skin as he tried to catch his breath.

Slowly, Noah pulled out of Kasper and stood straight again. He ran his hands down Kasper’s back and across his bum then back up. Kasper almost immediately missed the feeling of Noah inside him, but he pushed himself up off the counter and turned to him with a small smile on his face. Noah had one to match, but it was lazy and heavenly, post-orgasm bliss keeping him high.

“Ugh,” Kasper grunted.

“What?” Noah’s smile was quickly turning down.

Kasper shook his head and rested his hands on Noah’s chest, looking up at him. “You’re just so stupidly pretty.”

The lazy grin was back on his face in a matter of seconds, and he shook his head. Instead of responding to the compliment with words, he pressed a quick kiss to Kasper’s lips before moving to his chest, slowly making his way down until he was on his knees and kissing underneath Kasper’s belly button. Kasper’s stomach immediately filled with butterflies, and he met Noah’s eyes just as his tongue made its way up from the base of Kasper’s dick to the tip. There in which he brought his hand up and began slowly stroking him, and wrapped his mouth around the tip.

“Oh, god,” he moaned, falling back against the counter, needing the support. Noah chuckled and broke their eye contact, scooting forward with Kasper as he leaned against the bathroom fixture. He worked Kasper expertly, the short moans he let out sending light vibrations across Kasper’s sensitive length. Kasper moaned Noah’s name out and Noah ran his hand up his chest lovingly, scratching Kasper’s skin as he brought it back down.

Kasper was already halfway to orgasm from Noah’s time inside him, although he’d come down a bit since he pulled out. Still, he wasn’t going to have to work too hard to finish him off. His fingers curled into Noah’s soft hair, a little greasy from all the sweating they’d done that day. “Oh,” Kasper whimpered, Noah holding him and playing his tongue along him. He was so close, white starting to color the edges of his closed eyelids, his body throbbing with the need to release. Noah brought his mouth almost all the way down Kasper’s length and as he sucked his way back off, it was Kasper’s undoing. He succumbed to the orgasm Noah gave him, a loud moan making its way up his throat. “God, Noah,” he whined, his fingers clenching and pulling on his hair now, making Noah moan in return. Noah swallowed all of Kasper’s pleasure as he came, continuing to give Kasper head as he finished off his orgasm.

Noah came back up, and Kasper was honestly ready to collapse. The taller boy chuckled as Kasper fell against him, wrapping his arms around him. He worked to steady his breathing, Noah swaying with him a bit. They stayed silent for a few minutes, just enjoying each other. Noah hid his face in Kasper’s hair, and Kasper ran his fingers back and forth across Noah’s lower back. Kasper tried not to get sleepy yet, because as he was being reminded by the pounding sound fading in, they still had something to take care of.

“Well, that was fun,” Noah said with a laugh, “but uh…”

“I know,” Kasper sighed. He stepped away from Noah and rifled around in the drawers for a pair of scissors or something. He ended up finding a comb with a long metal pick on the end. Perfect. He opened the door to the bathroom and walked out to the other door, Noah following. “Count of three, you open, I’ll pike.” Noah nodded. “Okay. One,” Noah put his hand on the door knob, “two,” he unlocked it, “three.” Noah pulled the door open and Kasper quickly stabbed the comb through the zombie’s skull before it even had the chance to advance, the decrepit thing falling to the floor outside the door immediately. Kasper peered out, seeing no one else.

“And that’s that,” Noah stated, and Kasper looked at him with his eyebrows knitted.

All of the sudden, he burst out laughing. He was already weak from exhaustion and having just orgasmed, the laughing was really doing a number on him. He doubled over and held his stomach. His laughs were contagious, Noah laughing, but still looking at him like he was a little nuts.

“What?! You fuckin’ weirdo.”

“We just fucked with a zombie on the other side of the door, and then we killed him butt naked.” He nearly teared up, looking at the middle aged zombie who had probably seriously seen better days.

“Yeah, that was your suggestion,” Noah played, “and I truly hope he enjoyed the sound of two male strangers fucking in his bathroom.”

Noah’s comments only made him laugh harder, and he rolled his eyes, closing the door and locking it again before picking Kasper up and pushing his ass onto the bed. Kasper calmed down a bit as he stretched out on his back, smiling and making eyes at Noah as he crawled onto the bed after him. Noah hummed as he dropped himself down on his stomach, half of his body over Kasper’s.

“You haven’t changed at all since we met,” Noah mumbled into Kasper’s neck. He tangled his left leg with Kasper’s right and wrapped an arm around his torso, pulling him closer. “Well, not really.”

“Sorry,” Kasper said quietly, reaching a hand over to run his ringer down the bridge of Noah’s nose.

“Don’t be,” he assured, his voice muffled against Kasper’s skin. “You’re a weirdo, but you’re cute.”

“Oh, thanks,” Kasper chuckled quietly, gently playing with his brunette waves.

Noah tried to say something else, but it was lost on Kasper and he grinned softly. He cared about this boy so much. If he hadn’t met him, he didn’t know if he’d still be alive today, but he didn’t think he’d really care. He would have been left with no one on this earth and nothing for him but death all around him and no future to look forward to.

Noah gave him something; he was something. He was also… everything.

That was a whole other level, though, a level that gave rise to his anxiety and caused his heart rate to pick up. Noah made a shushing noise, and he assumed he might be able to hear Kasper’s beating heart.

“Shh,” he shushed more clearly this time, lifting his head up to press a chaste kiss to Kasper’s lips.

“Okay.” He made a face at Noah and closed his eyes, pushing his thoughts away and instead focused on the feeling of Noah’s presence.

The two snuggled closer together, just savoring the feeling of their closeness and temporary safety, falling asleep in a matter of minutes.

[kaspersauer]

maura1x1:

As the delivery boy questioned Noah’s sobriety, he scoffed, before pursing his lips, his first instinct to deny it.  The instinct had been deeply instilled in him by his no-nonsense ‘drugs are a waste of time’ Irish catholic parents.  So much so that despite the drugs in clear view and obviously wafting a pungent stink throughout the small apartment, Noah even began to protest the accusation. “I’m not—Why would you—” he pursed his lips again, huffing loudly from his nostrils. “—Do you get Hawaiian pizza orders from people who aren’t high?”  

At that point, Noah had completely forgotten about the fact that only moments prior he had thought this guy was a complete lunatic and he had just been told that the world might be ending (although, it probably wasn’t), and instead he focused all his brain power on the man in front of him and how he was fucking judging him for just trying to fucking relax.  Like, for fuck’s sake dude, you live in Seattle.  The smell of pot is practically apart of the atmosphere at this point.

“Stop—Stop looking at me like that!” Noah hit back, crossing his arms in front of himself defensively.  “It’s not like I knew it was going to be the apocalypse or whatever the hell you say is happ—” The rest of his words were unable to be heard, swallowed by the loud scream that caught Noah enough off guard that he quite literally jumped.  “W-What in the fuck was that?  Good fucking luck?!  What in the fuck does that mean?”  He was suddenly looking to the man he thought crazy only a second ago as if he was the only person that could help, even going so far as to take step forwards, trailing after him, too afraid to be left alone.  God, Noah was not prepared for this.  He could not handle this right now.  He had been barely able to handle a regular ‘here’s your pizza’,’here’s your money’ interaction, let alone fucking this.

He wasn’t sure if the blonde responded to him at first, Noah’s eyes were darting around the room, trying to figure out exactly where the scream came from (not that there was anyone else home), and then the weather sirens started, loud enough that Noah felt the need to cover his ears, and he did, halfheartedly so.

“H-How is this fucking happening?  Why is this fucking happening?”  Noah was about to lose his shit.  He needed to get a fucking grip, and fast.

A look of disbelief crossed Kasper’s face as the guy across from him stammered on about Hawaiian pizza and high customers. He didn’t need to deny it, nor attempt to (terribly)  defend himself.  He wanted to say, ‘Dude, that’s… not even the point right now,’ but he figured it’d only launch them into an unnecessary argument that would inevitably drag on forever. He’s only known the guy for a few minutes, but inevitably long unnecessary ridiculously inane arguments is exactly the kind of vibe Kasper was getting between the two of them. Because of this, he also decided to ignore the offended look on the guy’s face, chalking it up to the weed making him paranoid or something...

Until he yelled at him. “I’m not looking at you in any way!” he shouted back, flimsily throwing an arm up and letting it drop at his side. “Good luck, because you weren’t believing me! Do you fucking hear that? Do you believe me now?!” Kasper noted the guy stepping toward him whereas before he kept backing away from him. He took this as meaning Kasper wouldn’t be leaving this place alone now, which pleased him. But as soon as that teeny tiny wave of comfort hit him, it was gone due to the fact that you could feel the panic in the air as the guy covered his ears, increasing Kasper’s anxiety again. He tried to take a few deep breaths and closed his eyes.

“I don’t know, I don’t— Just— Shut up!” His words fell out of his mouth in a hurry. He clenched and unclenched his fists at his side as he thought. “Okay,” he muttered to himself as he tried to formulate some kind of plan. “We’re going to make a run for my car.” Then, they were going to make their way to Kasper’s house. All those Zombie Survival Kit gag gifts Kasper had received over the years were actually going to have a purpose. Thank god he was a bit of a hoarder and never threw them away. “Do you have any weapons?” he asked the guy in front of him, pushing past him as he stepped away from the door. He scanned the room they were in, taking everything in. “You’re a fucking anxious ass stoner ordering pizza alone,” or so he assumed, “of course you fucking don’t. You don’t, do you? Are butter knives going to be our best bet?” Kasper might be a bit of a geek (or a lot of a geek) and had a machete, bo staff, and cricket bat in his vehicle he actually put in there while he was riding a very paranoid high himself after watching a zombie movie with a coworker and just never took them out; he didn’t think of them before coming up here though, he’d been too freaked out and shocked to think ahead. “And,” he gave him a look, “sorry,” he apologized, for being kind of a dick moments before.

Normally Kasper would have been much more polite and asked permission before even taking a single step forward in a person’s house, but this situation was special, clearly, as he immediately began rifling through this man’s home. He pulled out drawers in his kitchen and loudly dug through them. “Grab a suitcase of essentials!” Kasper called to him. “Clothes, toothbrush. Where are your grocery bags?—Never mind, found them!” There weren’t any good weapons save for one single santoku knife he’d found. He grabbed the grocery sack and looked into the guy’s cupboards. Boy, was this disappointing. He threw in all the Cup of Noodles he had and the three bottled waters he had in the fridge.

He left the kitchen with the knife and bag in hand and went to find pizza boy. As soon as he laid eyes on him he headed for him. “Here,” he urged, giving the boy the knife and bag. He was going to grab the one weapon he knew this guy would have. Kasper disappeared into the bathroom and when he came back, he held in his hands the heavy lid to the toilet’s water tank. He shrugged. “Saw it in a movie once. You ready?”

[kaspersauer]

maura1x1:

As the man in front of him stopped his creepy as hell laughing, and stopped spewing some bullshit about the apocalypse, Noah’s muscles slowly began to relax, not so worried he was going to have to make a run for it and like…Jump out a fucking window to get away or something.  If he had to, at least he could like retell it on ‘I Survived’ or something like that, right?  

As soon as Noah had calmed himself a bit, the delivery guy’s voice suddenly jumped in pitch, and his muscles tensed again, he may have even taken a step back without thinking.  It was one of those situations where all Noah could think to do was whine, start whining about how this all was so unfair, why was this happening to him?  Why couldn’t it have happened to the cross fit instructor down the hall?  He could take down a home intruder.  

But as that feeling struck him, all Noah could hear was his father, telling him he wasn’t aloud to whine about something he had the power to change.  So he bucked the fuck up, and tried to get his brain to work, tried to come up with some sort of plan.  He began to ease his phone out of his pocket, slowly, without any sudden movements, as he still wasn’t sure what this guy’s deal was.  He’d look at the news.  Just like he asked.  He would say he saw whatever this guy thought was happening.  He’d call the police and ask for help from whatever this guy thought was happening, and try to slip in some subtle messages of ‘fucking help me this guy is crazy’.  That was the plan.  Even in his altered state, he figured he could do that.

His fingers fumbled on the keys slightly as he typed in ‘Seattle’ into Google, planning to pull up the first news article that popped up, and as his fingers flew across the screen, they at first accidentally typed ‘Saddle’ and he could help the small stifled giggle that came from his mouth.  Okay, maybe he wasn’t good enough to complete this plan.  Jesus, why was it all hitting him right now?  His eyes flicked back to the now smoldering end of the joint, trying to remember exactly where he had gotten it from.

But he figured that was a question he could ask later.  After correcting his typo, and pulling up the latest article, Noah watched a 10 second clip obviously shot from someone’s phone, and scoffed.  Looking up at the man in front of him he couldn’t help the smile on his face.  Dude, he had gotten fooled hard.

“Dude, this is like—-Jesus, this is so obviously a marketing ploy.  They got that new, uh—What is it called…Fuck, whatever it is, it’s that movie-game duo they’re releasing in a couple weeks at the Emerald City Comic Con.  This is so obviously hype from that, I mean, look–” he turned his phone to the blonde, the same 10 second clip repeating itself over and over.

“Tell me, does this look like a real zombie apocalypse to you?”  For some reason, Noah thought being entirely caught up on the Walking Dead qualified him as an expert.

The entire situation was unbelievable, from any fucking perspective you tried to look at it from. Kasper’s, for the fact that he had to witness what he had and was now wondering if it was even real, plus the fact that he was 99% positive it was real and now no one – or rather, the one and only person (who was still a person) that he’d come across –  would believe him; from this guy’s who was thinking Kasper was a goddamn lunatic, and rightfully so, to be honest; and lastly, from anyone on the outside looking in, it probably looked like a shitty Saturday Night Live skit. At the very least, Kasper could be grateful for the fact that this guy was pretty unthreatening, thank the gods. He could have knocked on the door to deliver pizza to some cross fit instructor on cheat day. Kasper wouldn’t have even been able to get a word in before he’d been knocked to the ground with the way he entered this guy’s home, instead, this person backed away when Kasper raised his voice even in the slightest.

This guy was still looking at Kasper like he was the craziest motherfucker on the planet, and it took all of Kasper’s patience to not whine out in desperation like a child surrounded by adults who had no idea what he was trying to say. What could he possibly do to get someone to believe him that there were some fucked up creatures running around outside? At this point, Kasper was about to question whether or not someone drugged his breakfast or if this was all just a dream. Then, as he took a deep inhale, he smelt it. Uh… Kasper’s state of mind might be questionable, but now there was certainty that someone was not in their right mind. He looked at the culprit in a way he hadn’t before, actually observing him now. “Oh my god,” Kasper muttered to himself, looking at his eyes and his delayed movements. “Are you…” he almost felt like laughing again, but that had gone south before, “are you fucking high right now?!” It wasn’t really anything to be surprised over, Kasper delivered to stoned motherfuckers on a daily basis, probably more so than sober customers, but it just felt… unreal right now. He also did not even want to imagine being high while having a perceived crazy person in their house and receiving this news while in a high state. He thought back to the last time he was high and tried to think of what it would be like to have this happen. There was no way he could even think up the exact feeling, but it was fucking awful. A heartfelt, “Oh man, I’m sorry,” felt like the only appropriate response.

He watched the boy stumble with his fingers, and waited impatiently to see what would come up. Easy to say that he wasn’t pleased with the reaction or what came up. “A marketing ploy,” he repeated monotonously, a very dissatisfied expression on his face. “ECCC. Right.” As he turned his phone to play in Kasper’s face, he looked at the screen without really watching the video with an annoyed expression so strong it could probably put Tom Felton’s dramatic Draco-scowl to shame. He saw it with his own eyes, he didn’t need to watch this, or be told that he was an idiot.

“Look,” he started in with frustration thick in his voice, “I don’t need to be told how stupid I fucking am. I saw it with my own eyes, and I don’t need to try and explain myself to you anymore.” Kasper huffed and turned toward the door, turning back to give the guy a wave. “Good fucking luck.” He took a deep breath as he worked up the courage to open the door, formulating a plan to sprint to his car outside. Only then to hear a scream come from another apartment, his heart rate spiking as soon as he’d heard it, and to add to the increasing palpitations, the city’s emergency weather sirens pierced through the apartment building’s walls just moments after. 

There was absolutely no fucking way any comic con or ‘movie-game duo’ was going to pull some type of city-wide, insane simulation to sell something, and no way they’d get the go ahead with it.  Kasper turned his head back to him, his hands shaking a bit as they lingered on the door frame, “A marketing ploy, you say?” 

If after hearing the actual city’s alert doesn’t convince him that something is wrong, whether he believes it’s zombies or not, then this guy is a lost cause and Kasper was on his own. 

[kaspersauer]

maura1x1:

So apparently the guy didn’t want to rob or kill him, and even with his raised hands showing no weapons, Noah still didn’t buy it.  You don’t just shove your way into someone’s apartment because you just wanna hang out, make a friend.  Plus, the weird chuckle that Noah was sure almost escaped the blonde’s list only served to remind him of several overacted serial killer movies that a paranoid person like himself shouldn’t be watching.  But, he also didn’t believe whatever shit he was spewing, about people dying and it being the end of the world.  Noah had just been out that afternoon, he had gone to the corner store to cash in on their weekly ‘almost expired’ sale, and everything seemed fine.  The world didn’t just decide to end in a matter of hours.  That’s not how it worked.  And despite never having experienced the end of the world, Noah felt very confident about that fact.

Finally, as the delivery guy continued talking, Noah couldn’t keep quiet anymore, his brain simultaneously spinning at a million miles an hour while also finding it extremely hard to keep up.  He knew that this was still most likely a ‘someone has gone off their meds’ situation, and he should keep using soothing tones, but Noah couldn’t help the words that spilled from his mouth, he had to find a way to interrupt the laughter that was filling his small apartment, getting infinitely more creeped out by the second.

“Dude, what in the ever-loving fuck are you talking about?”  His voice was raised, so incredibly frustrated.  This guy was trying to spin, what, a zombie apocalypse?  And yet he was criticizing Noah for ordering a pizza?  What in the hell was going on?  For some reason, his mind stuck on that criticism, and he opened his mouth to speak once more.  

“And what’s so fucking wrong with my pizza?  Hawaiian is a very acceptable choice.”

Pizza boy was still looking at Kasper as if he was about to steal his damn kidney and sell it on the black market, which he really couldn’t blame him the guy for because this did sound unbelievable and Kasper lost himself for a second there, but it was still frustrating. Like, come on, the fucking world outside was like… producing a bunch of zombies… but here Kasper was wasting time attempting to validate his mental health and lack of a murder record, while also trying to convince him that there was legitimately zombies out there. It was starting to make him feel a little crazy himself.

No, he know what he saw.

“Oh my god,” Kasper laughed breathlessly, “I -- it’s not about your fucking pizza, dude. Listen, I’m sorry. I lost my shit for a minute there, but honestly if you’d just seen what I saw you seriously couldn’t blame me.” He paused and looked at him for a second, about to comment on his dislike for Hawaiian pizza, but this really wasn’t the time.

Kasper shifted his weight back and forth, getting a bit anxious about the prospect of going back outside. “I don’t fucking know, just check the news or something!” He spoke quickly, half irritably, just wanting this guy to believe him. He didn’t like being looked at like he belonged in an insane asylum, and honestly he needed the validation the news could give him anyway. He’d whip his own phone out but he figured any sudden movements would make this guy run scared or something. Plus, any proof from someone who was already believed to be a nutbag wasn’t ever very effective.

“Please,” he almost begged. “I…” He fell speechless. “I don’t know what else to say now. Believe me or don’t, I guess. It would be nice to know soon, though, because formulating a plan would be smart.”

[kaspersauer]

maura1x1:

After receiving another shove, Noah surged forward, his body acting without him thinking, for once.  But he stopped dead in his tracks as he started yelling.  As the man ranted about people dying, Noah began to hear his heart in his ears–thump, thump, thump–a repetitive tattoo finding it’s home in his head.  Noah had absolutely no idea how to handle this situation, this delivery guy was clearly on something, or having some sort of mental break.  Noah didn’t know if he could’ve handled this stone cold sober, but he definitely knew he couldn’t after smoking up since the late afternoon.  The brunette always had a way of letting his head get ahead of himself, an imagination that always ran wild and thought of the worst.  And already, he could see the news banner now.  ‘YOUNG MAN KILLED BY MANIC DELIVERY MAN FEARING END OF WORLD’.  He listened to too many true crime podcasts, and he had heard way too many stories of people killing others while having some sort of psychotic break, and thinking that by doing so they’re saving the world.  God, he didn’t want to be talked about on the My Favorite Murder podcast.  That couldn’t be his legacy.

Noah held his hands out in front of him, trying to not only keep the man away from him, but also because…Well, isn’t that people always fucking did on crime shows?  He swore he could remember it being done on Criminal Minds.  There was something calming to someone in a spiral by showing them your hands?  That you didn’t have a weapon?  His diluted thinking at the moment could only pull from fucking pop culture, of course.  God, why did he have to choose tonight of all nights to get fucking high.  The delivery man spoke again–thump, thump, thump–and without thinking, Noah began to reply “It’s just me–” he paused, halfway through the sentence before realizing that’s the absolute last fucking thing he should’ve been saying.  “–And my roommate.  They’re probably calling the cops right now.  Just leave, take my wallet, and I’ll say you covered your face.” he tried to convince him.  God, he just really didn’t want to die tonight.

Only now that this guy was slowly raising his hands and backing away from Kasper did he realize how fucking creepy he sounded. “Goddammit,” he muttered to himself. Why did he have to lead with asking if anyone was home? That’s like the most murder-y sounding damn thing he could have possibly started off with. However, Kasper wasn’t the bad guy here. In fact, he was probably one of the last not-bad-guys out there now. “No,” Kasper defended himself, raising his own hands to try and display that he was harmless. Then the stranger began to insist that Kasper was a criminal and his roommate would be calling the cops. 

Kasper gave him a look of mild disturbance. “Um...” He nearly laughed as he spoke. The suggestion was too much. “I’m not... I’m not going to fucking kill you, nor do I want your money.” He put his hands down and raised a brow at this guy. “Honestly, your roommate, wherever they are, has probably already been either turned into a tasty meal, or is feasting for themselves.” This was no laughing matter, but against him fighting himself, a smile finally broke through on his face. 

He doubled over and put his hands on his knees, a deep breath leaving him. “Oh my fucking god,” he said through a breathy laugh, “this is... this is some fucking fucked up sci-fi horror shit.” He looked up to the male in front of him who Kasper was supposed to deliver pizza to. “And you ordered pizza!” Kasper started to laugh and couldn’t stop himself. This lasted for quite a few moments before he stood up straight again. He cleared his throat. The fact that Kasper had no one in his life any longer, not even any friends now that he’d pretty much isolated himself from humanity, hit him like a big yellow school bus. It caused a bubble of feelings to stretch across his chest, but he pushed it away and grinned at this stranger.

“So... you got an apocalypse buddy?”

[kaspersauer]

maura1x1:

@kaspersauer

Noah swiped absentmindedly through the pictures that mainly consisted of muscled, glistening torsos with the occasional face pic.  He had a few messages waiting to be answered in his inbox, but he wasn’t planning on going out tonight, no siree.  He was planning to wait for his pizza, finish off the small nub of a blunt left trapped between his thumb and pointer finger while waiting for said pizza, then watch a movie while eating it.  He really got wild on Fridays, that was for sure.  He had thought of finding something (or someone) to do on the app earlier in the evening, but he knew he wasn’t going to find what he was looking for, especially not tonight, so he let it be.  

Despite being alone in the apartment for once, Noah still wore his headphones.  He liked the feeling of being sealed off, his music filling his ears and his eyes dialed in on his phone made him feel like the rest of the world didn’t exist.  It was a feeling he enjoyed. — He was broken from his shirtless selfie reverie by a loud pounding.  He assumed it was the pizza, but damn, delivery guy was going a little hardcore, huh?  Somewhat annoyed, he pulled his headphones out of his ears and put the smoldering nub in the ashtray beside him before getting off the couch.  He couldn’t help but roll his eyes as he made his way across the rough carpeting to the door, digging in his back pocket for a twenty as he did so.  With the rate of the pounding Noah wasn’t even sure if he should give the guy a tip, but he didn’t think he had any smaller bills. 

“Jesus Chr—” he started as he opened the door, ready to make the closest thing he could manage to a complaint, but was cut off and shoved backwards as the door flew inwards, practically knocking him off his feet.  It only took him a second to react, and the normally quiet and somewhat introverted Noah was up in the face of the stranger, returning the favor and giving him a quick, sudden shove in the chest.  “What in the fuck, dude?”  Noah had never been in a fight, but he had a couple inches on the blonde man in front of him and figured he could take him if he had to.  Maybe.  

Kasper unprofessionally sat on a counter in the pizzeria in which he worked, playing a mindless game on his phone. His boss hadn’t come in, along with a few other coworkers, and they were incredibly dead for a Saturday -- almost 4PM and not a single order. One might find that something was off with this, but for the few overworked pizza shop employees that actually showed up today, they were all happy to just enjoy the day of serenity. A coworker, Emilio, began singing to a song playing in the shop and dancing with a broom he was sweeping with, causing Kasper to look up from his phone and start laughing with Kara, the only other employee who was there. Only then, the music was interrupted by a loud, dull beep that notified them of a new order. They all sighed in unison, but really, they shouldn’t complain seeing as how incredibly relaxed it’d been all day (although that may be why the order was so disappointing to begin with). Kasper didn’t normally cook the pizza, but they were so short staffed that he helped out before shoving the pizza boxes into the warming carriers and headed to his vehicle.

He came to a stop sign, and was about to proceed before being startled by a small car that went speeding by him faster than he’d ever seen on a main street before, stomping on his brakes just in time to avoid an accident. “WHAT THE FUCK?!” he yelled, pressing on the car horn. As he continued, he had to slow down to observe a spectacle in the middle of a main intersection; a three car pile up, two bodies on the ground in pools of blood. Kasper could have thrown up. Where were the police? Ambulance? Then he noticed another person off to the side, still alive. Was he supposed to do something? He grabbed his phone to call 911, but then the person turned around and looked right at Kasper. “What the fuck,” he repeated from minutes before, this time much quieter. Time stilled, and then the bloody being covered in scratches bolted toward Kasper’s Sonic. “Oh fuck no,” he exclaimed, before getting the fuck away from there as fast as possible.

The rest of the drive went about the same. Why was he still going to this customer’s house? He wasn’t sure. He was kind of panicking a bit. Either someone had drugged Kasper today, or this was the fucking zombie apocalypse or some shit. His only reasoning now was that he was closer to this guy’s house than his own. He checked out the parking lot, noticing it was mostly empty before he ran out of his vehicle and into the unlocked apartment building. It may have just been the panic, but he was almost sure he heard screams as he ran through the building. As soon as he reached the door of the customer, he began pounding on it loud and fast. “Please, please, please,” he whined to himself, “hurry!” As soon as the door was opened Kasper shoved his way in and slammed the door shut behind him, locking the door immediately.

“‘What the fuck, dude?’, is people are dying, dude!” Kasper shoved the guy back in response. He could understand being shoved. I mean… what the fuck, dude? Kasper would probably react the same if someone came pounding on the door and forced their way in. Now that he was (hopefully) safe, for the time being anyway, he took a deep breath and gathered his wits. It was happening. He scrutinized the man in front of him for a hot second, assuring that he wasn’t a… zombie, himself. “Is anyone else here?” He was a bit breathless from panicking and running, but now that the initial shock was wearing off a little and he was inside, he could finally think. “Nothing, or nobody, is safe now.” He realized that he probably sounded insane, but this really wasn’t a time for pleasantries.

[portraitsalone]