Imagine being in high school with Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko, and as you gradually get closer to your new classmates, you end up developing a crush on Suguru. He's handsome, considerate, and mature; what's there not to like? However, you are unfortunately aware of Suguru's popularity with the ladies, and your awkward attempts at getting the local heart-throb to notice you seem to be going nowhere.
After failing to talk to your crush for the umpteenth time, you finally decide it's time to swallow your pride and ask for help. You take out your phone and are just about to text Shoko for advice, but you don't notice your thumb pressing down on the wrong chat, and you end up accidentally pouring your heart out to the world's worst confidante: Gojo Satoru.
It's all over, you think. Not only is he a huge blabbermouth, but he is also Suguru's best friend on top of that, so there is no way Satoru is keeping this to himself. On the next day, dread fills you with every step you take toward your classroom. You try to think your options over, should you perhaps drop to your knees and beg the white-haired sorcerer to keep his mouth shut? How about sneaking out to the nearest candy shop and purchasing an ungodly amount of his favorite treats instead? The guy is well-known for his unmatched sweet tooth and you are tempted to try out your ideas, but you'd be lying to yourself if you entertained the possibility that Gojo Satoru hasn't already spilled your deepest secret by now. You try and think positively instead, and you tell yourself that hey, at least now Suguru will know, and he can let you down gently. Maybe then, you'll stop agonizing over him, right?
What you are not expecting is for Suguru to act like nothing happened, and for Satoru's blue eyes to be glued to the side of your head for the entire morning instead. The guy normally bounced off the walls, so him calmly and silently burning into you with his stare and his signature unnerving smirk instead of hounding you like he normally would unsettles you more than any other crazy hypothetical your mind had cooked up since the dreaded incident up till now, and you make up your mind to just avoid him as much as you can until you figure out his intentions.
You are even more surprised when you sit down with Shoko for lunch like usual, and she doesn't make a peep about your embarrassing mishap with Satoru, so you finally allow yourself to believe that hey, maybe the guy is actually decent and kept your secret to himself!
You give yourself a pat on the back, your mood so much better than it was just a minute ago, but sadly it doesn't last for long because before you know it, Gojo Satoru himself has you cornered in a deserted hallway, a shit-eating grin residing smugly on his stupid face, and he really lets you have it. You think he is making up for all the teasing, taunting, and goading he didn't get to do earlier due to you promptly avoiding him like the plague, judging from how fast he speaks as he pokes and prods at you for your huge, gigantic, monumental (as he so lovingly put it) crush on his best friend.
You are beyond mortified, but not really surprised. This is Gojo Satoru, after all; this sort of behavior coming from him is nothing short of ordinary, so you silently take what he throws at you with a sigh and an expression that reads, "Are you done?"
But he isn't done; no, he has apparently just gotten started, and if you weren't surprised before, you are definitely floored now because unless your ears are deceiving you, Satoru has just offered to help you get Suguru's attention.
"What? Why? What is he plotting? Is this some kind of prank? Is Suguru in on this and they are just making fun of me?" Are all the questions that pop into your mind during the silent beat that follows Satoru's offer. You really weren't expecting him to be interested in your or Suguru's love lives in the slightest except for maybe teasing you both, let alone to actively involve himself in them to ensure your future relationship's smooth sailing, and you tell him as much. He looks almost offended at the implication but, alas, restates his original offer to you. You can't help but question his true motives, but he brushes off your concern with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders, stating he's just bored, and he thinks you and Suguru would be a good match, and weren't you sending your message to Shoko to ask for help in the first place? You carefully think over his words; he seems sincere enough to you, and even though you are still overthinking the situation, you find his offer oddly sweet. If he was going to stab you in the back and tell everybody, you figure he would have already done it, so you reason with yourself that there is no harm in trusting him just a little, and you do desperately need the help, although he isn't who you were hoping to get it from. With a shake of your hand and an enthusiastic grin, Satoru then skips off to join his best friend for their upcoming mission, leaving you alone to deal with the mess that's forming in your brain.
Despite having gone back to your dorm hours ago, the shock of the day still doesn't wear off at all. You find yourself tossing and turning on your bed, screaming silently into your pillow. Even after thinking it over for the rest of the day, you still can't make up your mind about the deal you struck with Satoru. Despite his insistence that he is doing this out of the goodness of his own heart, you still find yourself doubting his sincerity just a tad. You can't put your finger on it, but you can't help but feel like he has some ulterior motive you aren't privy to. Before you can talk yourself out of it, you end up in front of Shoko's door, in desperate need of another opinion.
The whole situation is so deeply embarrassing that you really want as few people as possible to know about it, but you trust Shoko with your life, and you do need someone else to help unravel your thoughts. What you don't anticipate, though, is Shoko's confident affirmation that Gojo Satoru likes you, and he is only offering to "help" as a way of getting closer to you, or worse, thwarting your blooming relationship with Suguru. The absurdity of the statement, coupled with Shoko's positively certain tone, like she is stating the obvious, almost makes you burst out laughing. You barely spend time with Satoru or even talk to him outside of training and missions, so you fail to see how he could have possibly developed any interest in you in the first place. Shoko tries to convince you to listen to her reasoning but it all falls on deaf ears. She sighs and surrenders that if you aren't ready to accept the facts yet, she cannot force you, but still urges you to be careful of what Satoru might be up to. After all, getting this close to another guy could end up being confusing rather than helpful, and she worries you will end up developing feelings for the blue-eyed sorcerer instead, possibly getting hurt in the process.
You swallow thickly, her words lodging themselves in your brain. You are still deeply in denial of the idea, brushing it off with a wave of your hand as you make your way back to your dorm. The notion that Satoru might be in love with you rings so untrue to you that it's ridiculous. What's even worse is the thought of you possibly falling for him as well. You already have a crush and it's on Suguru.
Yes, if you know one thing, it's that you will definitely not be falling in love with Gojo Satoru.