i would like a hug…. JUST KIDDING! i would like TWO hugs. (suddenly becomes cold and standoffish) i don’t need anything or anyone and i don’t want to talk about it.

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i would like a hug…. JUST KIDDING! i would like TWO hugs. (suddenly becomes cold and standoffish) i don’t need anything or anyone and i don’t want to talk about it.
ohhhh to be just some nerdy man
i've been so jumpy lately. so creeped out and paranoid about mirrors and loved ones being vassals for something horrible........... like stupid delusional stuff...... i know my cat isn't possessed... i know nothing is watching me from my reflection.... and yet !!
tired and sad and confused. feeling left out and homesick. probably being too sensitive :(
Unsure, 2008
i think i did genuinely traumatise myself a bit. like there are so many smells that just immediately throw me back to that time and it's upsetting. obvs nothing crazy i don't have ptsd or anything but still. wild that something as small as all that could have this lasting effect.
Self-harm harm reduction resources
[PT: Self-harm harm reduction resources]
[Image description: a banner with red text on a black background. The text reads, "harm reduction is for SH too" /end ID]
This information is also on my website here!
i feel like something bad must have happened to me but i know nothing has. like it's just the usual small little bits and bobs but i worry (maybe hope?) that there is something big and terrible which i don't remember
i'm not worth the shit on their shoe
genuinely they deserve so much better they're such a good and kind person and they are full of so much joy and intelligence and creativity and i'm just this fuck-ugly parasite i cannot believe they think i'm worth anything at all it's ridiculous. theyre usually such a good judge of character too i don't understand how theyre missing it. when we break up their friends are going to finally be able to tell them what they really thought of me
i'm not worth the shit on their shoe
do you ever catch yourself getting so angry that all you can think is damn I’m just like my father?
i am scared by the surges of anger going through my chest. i do not think this is usual for me. i know i can be irritable but this is such a physical sensation and it feels like a lot
i knew that i should not have told them i knew it would make things bad. how fucking selfish of me how stupid. how incosiderate. i was fine i didn't need to tell them and now we're both upset because i'm a fucking idiot who cares more about doing just exactly what i want than anyone else's comfort.
found family horror: the queer person who keeps projecting their unmet deepest childhood attachment needs onto you
getting to that point where people ask if i'm ok and i burst into tears LOL #myhumilationritual