in my fiancĆ©e era š„¹
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@katamarianne
in my fiancĆ©e era š„¹
an open letter for my kareshi
i was already typing as you began saying your goodnight, but thanks to your distractions and cute little phone call, i canāt seem to find the words to say so i can properly start this letter. or at the very least, words that might be able to help me explain how i feel for you⦠if thereās actually a way to do that.
i usually write when my mindās a mess and the thoughts are everywhere. but right now my mind is clear and only knows one thing: you.
youāre just everything i never thought i needed til you started making everything feel so light, yet so full. i read somewhere that someday, you get to meet an adventure and a home, all bundled up in one person. and for me, thatās you. it will always be you.
we didnāt really start off as people who knew theyād end up flirting with each other. instead, we started off as friends playing the same game, having the same interests in anime, sharing the same hobbies, even cracking the same lame ass jokes, and enjoying each otherās company as platonic buddies. but as time passes, it just felt like i really had to tell you and you really had to know: i wanna be with you.
to be perfectly honest, i still donāt know where this is going or how iām going to finish this post. all i know is that you make everything feel so light and so right that it makes me think that this might be what right timing feels like. you make everything so safe and calming that i donāt have to worry that what i have with you is something that was forced or fake or rushed like the ones before. because youāre not them; and with sheer delight, i can really say that they can never be you.
iām writing this now because someday my future self would be able to read this and think,Ā āgod you were so in loveā but laugh to herself because she still thinks sheās in love. because i feel like i will be hopelessly in love with you for a very long time, and it wouldnāt matter because youāll be here for a very long time. iāve always been unsure of what the future might hold (i still am), but i know iām glad i chose to be in love with you. i will always choose me, but choosing me means choosing you.
i donāt think i fell in love. i donāt think i dove head first, either. i know i took my sweet time to walk in love with you. to consciously decide every single time that i wanna be in love with you. i know weāre not in a relationship just yet, but i also know that this is just one of the things in life where i can take my time waiting without feeling scared. and iāve never felt so at peace with the fact that iām waiting for something, because i know that iām waiting for something worth it. iām waiting for you.
i like you a lot. iām not gonna say the other L-word just yet, because i believe itās almost there. weāre almost there.
iāll be waiting for you⦠with you.
i wrote this letter back in January 30, 2021 at 3:21AM. i'm reblogging and writing on it now, December 9, 2025 at 3:07AM. obviously, you're fast asleep and have been catching Zs since 11PM.
i've been feeling some type of way tonight--probably melancholy?--but after reading this, it just made me shake my head and laugh a bit. because what do you mean Maan of Jan 2021 knew Maan of Dec 2025 so well? that her kareshi is the same as always, if not much more compatible with her?
we're turning 5 years in a few months and i still can't believe my luck. we're not married (yet or won't ever be--doesn't matter) but i know i've found a life partner, and that's good enough for me. i know it matters to you, so i will try my best to meet you halfway :)
it's sooo funny and cute how in the first letter, i still haven't told you the "L-word"! and now, i don't think a day has gone by within the ~5 years that we got officially together that we didn't express our love to each other. still ridiculously yet much hopeful in love. if anything, life got more serious and can sometimes be overwhelming to the point of drowning, but your love keeps me afloat. it keeps me sane and hopeful.
i wanna go back to this for a third letter, hopefully another ~5 years and we have a kid/kids by then? i don't know where life would take us but i know i can be dragged anywhere as long as we're doing it together. oh, and i love you! very much so.
i'm waiting for what future has for us... with you.
It's my 13 year anniversary on Tumblr š„³
13 years ampota hahahahaha more than half of my life waht
Mar.07.2024.
Well, damn. Apparently it's been almost 3 years since my last entry, which was back in April 19, 2021. Where did time GOOO!?!?
I also think I've spent such a long time just working that I ended up losing my sense of writing--I'm a library assistant for a year now, and it's been great. But I haven't touched anything about poetry or even simple, basic writing, and it's been sad.
In the last 3 years, I've been to two Paramore shows, and one TWICE show! There's no better feeling than just singing my heart out and seeing my favourite band live. And being with my friends in all those shows? The. Best.
Daniel and I just celebrated our 35th month two days ago. Almost our 3rd year anniversary, and it still feels surreal. To be able to love and be loved while growing the fuck up in this messy world? I'd give anything just to be with this guy forever. I'm praying hard to have this til the end of my time.
I think that's it for now? Life's been pretty boring and normal, which is more than okay. It just means peace and contentment. I also don't settle for things I'm not comfortable with anymore, which is a heavy pat in the back for me. Oh, and I have my baby for 7 months now. I get to go to places bcos of him. Still got years to pay him off but it's worth it.
I'd look back on this post and hopefully by then, I'll be better. I think I'm at version 3.5 by now. Can't wait for the next versions!
Lana Del Rey, from Mariners Apartment Complex
Last hope! https://twitter.com/lilbitcaught/status/1686014720791257088?s=20
thank u anon i love u <3
š cr: lilbitcaught (twt)
i finally have my first car⦠which i never thought iād say since i never planned on going through my driver era, let alone having my own car.
itās only now that itās sinking ināreality dawns on me; i have the freedom (no matter how small it is) that comes with having a car of my own. i no longer have to spend a lot on Uber rides or get stressed with missing buses. i get to pick up daniel, mom, fam & friends whenever they need a ride. i get to feel that pride that i can dangle keys now, tooācar keys at that.
i still have to spend lots on gas and insurance and shit, but at least i know itās mine. a responsibility that iām fully taking and embracing. the calmness that driving gives is just irreplaceable (albeit a few putanginamos, reserved for jaywalkers and shitty drivers), and i pray & wish to always have work so i can pay for this baby. iām praying i get to stay with this baby for a long, long time.
anyway, āyun lang. iām very, very happy with how lifeās going on rn. sana by the time na daniel and i settle down, toothless is still with us. heās my first baby, just as much as macbeth is danielās.
praying for safe roadtrips and travels with him.
actually sleeping with someone is so nice like waking up in the middle of the night and snuggling closer or lazily giving them a kiss or just feeling their arms around you squeeze slightly even though theyāre in a deep sleep or handholding while you both are asleep ugh thatās that shit I like
happy father's day to the father that stepped UP
GUYS HAPPY TAYLOR YORK OFFICIALLY JOINED PARAMORE DAY
Last hope šš
THANKS FOR THE SUBMISSION!
Hayley talking about the song āLiarā
PARMORE this is why interview with apple music & zane lowe
TAYLEY DURING CITM! IM CRYING!!!! thank you broon!
Can we talk about this please
ššššššššš stop
OH MY GOD ALTERNATE CD ALBUM COVER TARGET EXCLUSIVE! THIS PHOTO šššš
HOW IS THIS ONE THE ALTERNATE COVER? WE'VE BEEN ROBBED ššš
Hayley fangirling over Taylor.
and i cried. then threw up. then cried more.
wait, what's the ignorance thing?
x
Watch me bloom.