an open letter for my kareshi
i was already typing as you began saying your goodnight, but thanks to your distractions and cute little phone call, i canāt seem to find the words to say so i can properly start this letter. or at the very least, words that might be able to help me explain how i feel for youā¦ if thereās actually a way to do that.
i usually write when my mindās a mess and the thoughts are everywhere. but right now my mind is clear and only knows one thing: you.
youāre just everything i never thought i needed til you started making everything feel so light, yet so full. i read somewhere that someday, you get to meet an adventure and a home, all bundled up in one person. and for me, thatās you. it will always be you.
we didnāt really start off as people who knew theyād end up flirting with each other. instead, we started off as friends playing the same game, having the same interests in anime, sharing the same hobbies, even cracking the same lame ass jokes, and enjoying each otherās company as platonic buddies. but as time passes, it just felt like i really had to tell you and you really had to know: i wanna be with you.
to be perfectly honest, i still donāt know where this is going or how iām going to finish this post. all i know is that you make everything feel so light and so right that it makes me think that this might be what right timing feels like. you make everything so safe and calming that i donāt have to worry that what i have with you is something that was forced or fake or rushed like the ones before. because youāre not them; and with sheer delight, i can really say that they can never be you.
iām writing this now because someday my future self would be able to read this and think,Ā āgod you were so in loveā but laugh to herself because she still thinks sheās in love. because i feel like i will be hopelessly in love with you for a very long time, and it wouldnāt matter because youāll be here for a very long time. iāve always been unsure of what the future might hold (i still am), but i know iām glad i chose to be in love with you. i will always choose me, but choosing me means choosing you.
i donāt think i fell in love. i donāt think i dove head first, either. i know i took my sweet time to walk in love with you. to consciously decide every single time that i wanna be in love with you. i know weāre not in a relationship just yet, but i also know that this is just one of the things in life where i can take my time waiting without feeling scared. and iāve never felt so at peace with the fact that iām waiting for something, because i know that iām waiting for something worth it. iām waiting for you.
i like you a lot. iām not gonna say the other L-word just yet, because i believe itās almost there. weāre almost there.
iāll be waiting for youā¦ with you.
gummygunk
jacobvanloon
dededos
tangentwithtanner
yousharknotpass
pixelskylines
snowghoul
titsay
