Nodding at her statement, Cormac saw no point in denying the fact that he’d been relieved she wasn’t interested in anyone else, and it seemed innocent enough of a statement to make, so he just chuckled, “Is that a bad thing?” he asked, wondering if she was really so averse to him being relieved that she wasn’t seeing anyone else. He was amused by the fact that she’d attempted to backtrack, and then backtrack again, but he didn’t need her to explain herself because he understood completely, and the fact that she seemed to be getting more flustered around him as they lingered on the subject made him really wonder if Kathleen was maybe not as far from wanting to be in a relationship or taking a step in that direction, as he’d thought. “That’s because people don’t really get to know you,” he said, glad that he’d somehow broken through her walls on the first day that they’d met. At her sharp breath, he smiled softly. “Sorry, was that a lot to put on you all at once?” he asked, before she brought up Abigail again. “No.. I don’t think that Abigail could ever be replaced either, we loved each other very much… and god, did she love the boys… but it took me a while to realize that I don’t need to find the same thing or want it - Sometimes completely different is exactly what you need. Abigail and I met when I was just starting my residency, and that feels like a lifetime ago. I don’t want another Abigail, because I’ve shared a life with my Abigail, and that was more than what most people can say they get with their partners.— I’m rambling,” he said, flushing slightly as he looked down at his plate, “My point is, I’m not going around searching for another Abigail. And what I have with y— hopefully the next person I find love with, is entirely it’s own thing. There doesn’t have to be talk of replacing her or living up to her.” He knew that as rounded as his explanation was, Kathleen would understand, but he was glad for the distraction that her fork looming over his plate gave them, “Oh very sneaky,” he retorted, unable to keep his smile at bay when she grinned at him, “What I ordered tastes better than yours, doesn’t it? You can admit it.. go on..” he teased, taking a bite from his plate to really drive his point in.
“No. Just an observation,” She tried to present it in a nonchalant manner, shrugging as though it was not big deal, when really her gut was twisting in an almost nervous excitement. Kathleen couldn’t be sure exactly what it meant, she wasn’t a mind reader no matter what her patients regularly accused her off, but she had a good idea of what it might mean. And if it did mean such a thing then she would at least be safe in knowing that when she was ready to tell Cormac how she felt then at least she wouldn’t have to worry about him rejecting her. She chewed on her own food, shaking her head and pointing her fork in his general direction before she swallowed and explained, “Oh no, no, no. Believe me I am a bitch. I’ve spent the better part of my life cultivating that image and I am not having it brought down all because I’m nice to you.” Because he was right, she’d let her usual guard drop quickly when it came to him and given him chances that she wouldn’t give to anybody else. And he hadn’t let her down yet. The smile that thought brought to her lips somewhat weakened the teasing threats that followed, “I mean it. If I start getting asked to pick people up from the airport and babysit dogs I am blaming you. And then I will be mean to you.” She wouldn’t be, she wasn’t sure she was capable of that, and if she was she was almost certain that all it would take was one flash of his smile to make her forget all about it. “No,” Yes, but not for the ways he was surely thinking, “No. I just like that you believe I’m worth it. The hassle. I know that there are some people who would disagree.” Hence the divorce, but somehow when she was sitting at lunch with him she wasn’t too worried about what her (soon-to-be ex) husband might think of her. She tilted her head as she listened to him talk about Abigail, her smile softer despite her reservations. It was clear that he’d loved his wife, as though she hadn’t known that already, and while it might have worried her to potentially enter anything deeper with him because of that love, Kathleen couldn’t help but wonder if anybody would ever talk about her like that one day. Her eyes widened slightly at his slip, her ever astute ears catching it but hoping he’d missed her own silent reaction before she’d had time to catch herself. “Am I different?” She asked, realising the perhaps not accidental implication quickly and adding, “Not that I’m saying it would be me. But what we have. Is it different?” She chuckled at his teasing, her fork now digging into her own plate when she retorted, “Well you do have excellent taste if I do say so myself...but mine’s still better. Pity I never really got the hang of the sharing thing, otherwise you could see for yourself.”