Lights & Shadows

[kathriny]

[inkskinned]

you were picking blackberries and her lips were stained and you couldn’t stop staring. she kept reaching to cover her mouth. “is something in my teeth?” she kept asking, and you kept just saying, no, no, no, i promise.

right now the two of you are dancing around a something-that’s-not-nothing and it swells up between you, too vague to know the shape of it yet. how do you tell her without scaring her off that she takes up a whole house in your head.

you’re scared of the might-be might-be because what if this is the moment and you miss it but worse what if it’s not the moment and you mess it all up, so you watch her and you pick blackberries and you don’t say, holy shit you’re goregous

[inkskinned]

it is incredible how quickly i second-guess my diagnosis. it had been three days without an anxiety attack; maybe i had been faking it. fifteen minutes after this thought i was sweating in below-zero weather, my teeth chattering and my heart racing. but maybe it was what i ate. i stopped drinking caffeine a long time ago; i find new things it could be. maybe i’m dehydrated. maybe i don’t get enough sun. maybe i need to spend less time on the internet.

i feel like i’ve never not been depressed. maybe i don’t even have depression, i’m just like this. this is who i am to my core and i just don’t want to admit it. plus sometimes i’m happy. it comes in streaks, like contrails - but sometimes i am happy. there are people who are suffering and i’m sitting here worrying because i feel blue sometimes. if i wasn’t so lazy i’d just get out of bed. am i depressed? am i run down? am i just wasting everyone’s worry?

i just don’t know what part of me is me and not mental illness, and i think i’m scared to find out exactly who i am without this.

[porshiahemmings]

REBLOG PLEASE

[kathriny]

[paradoxicalissue]

[imperfectlyxo]

If you are scrolling through Tumblr trying to distract yourself from something you don’t want to think about, or you’re looking for a sign. It is going to be okay. Just breathe. You are alive and you matter. 

[lyricsgraphy]

bon iver - i can’t make you love me 

[kathriny]

Hi Roi

Ayaw cgeg stalk

[painstation-deactivated20181026]

[pugking-deactivated20130901]

[youthxst-deactivated20151202]

I HAVE WAITED MY LIFE TO FIND THIS OMG I CAN’T I JUST CAN’T

[icy-brunette]

so much swag in 3 people

[saddnsassyy]

your lying if you say you don’t need this on your blog 

[lezzginka]

new year same me because i’m the bitch who never learns!!

[thelovejournals]

Do you think it’s possible that some people are born to give more love than they will ever get back in return?

Tyler Knott Gregson (via wordsnquotes)

[caitmceniff-deactivated20190131]

[fakevirtue]

[purplebuddhaproject]

Admit it. You aren’t like them. You’re not even close. You may occasionally dress yourself up as one of them, watch the same mindless television shows as they do, maybe even eat the same fast food sometimes. But it seems that the more you try to fit in, the more you feel like an outsider, watching the “normal people” as they go about their automatic existences. For every time you say club passwords like “Have a nice day” and “Weather’s awful today, eh?”, you yearn inside to say forbidden things like “Tell me something that makes you cry” or “What do you think deja vu is for?”. Face it, you even want to talk to that girl in the elevator. But what if that girl in the elevator (and the balding man who walks past your cubicle at work) are thinking the same thing? Who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on conversation with a stranger? Everyone carries a piece of the puzzle. Nobody comes into your life by mere coincidence. Trust your instincts. Do the unexpected. Find the others.

Timothy Leary (via purplebuddhaproject)

[mitten]