Should Have Been A Mermaid

Katherine Grace Evans. 26. lifeguard Whaddup, people? I'm gonna take a wild guess and assume you know who I am, because let's face it. I'm from the smallest fucking town where everyone knows everyone else. It's pretty annoying. In case you don't know who I am, read the name above. I don't give details of my personal life online, so I'll give you the basics. I have five sisters who I love very much and I work as a lifeguard at the Princess hotel. That's right; I save lives, bitches. Anything else is need to know. As in, you don't need to know.

[katiearchive-blog]

TEXTS 📲 KATLIA

TALIA: How many times do you want to go over this same conversation? Get used to me mothering you already, kid.

TALIA: It's not about what you want, it's about what you need.

TALIA: Yep. You weren't the first, you won't have been the last. It's actually pretty sad.

TALIA: Shut up, I've always been way too cool for you. I hang with you out of pity. Have you seen the size of this place? You could break a nail at 11 and it'd have spread all over town by noon. Quit being so defensive, I'm just making sure you're good.

KATIE: Until you eventually stop mothering me?

KATIE: I don't need anything that I don't already have.

KATIE: I guess, but she's not my problem anymore, so who cares?

KATIE: Get out. You're so lame that you don't even know you're lame. That's what's sad. Ugh, that's so true. I hate this fucking town. I'm not being defensive? I just don't want to talk about something that doesn't matter. Even if I liked her, it's not like I loved the girl, so her leaving isn't that serious. I'm fine, I promise.

[katiearchive-blog]

TEXTS 📲 KATLIA

TALIA: Rude. But I love you, so I forgive you.

TALIA: A little ball of fur might add some sweetness into your life, though. You'll thank me for it, trust me.

TALIA: Truth! You'd think she would've thought about that, though. It's not like this is her first rodeo.

TALIA: I can blame her, I made her! Didn't you ask her on a date, though? People talk, Katie-Kat. I know things.

KATIE: It's not being rude, it's being honest. You know I love you, but I already have a mom. I don't need two.

KATIE: Since when is adding sweetness to my life something I even want? I am very content with the lack of sweetness, thank you very much.

KATIE: Who really knows? I don't think like a criminal. I wouldn't be surprised if she was screwing over someone else right now, though.

KATIE: So what if you made her? You were totally lame before she was born, so don't even try blaming her for that. Are you serious? I literally only told that to one person. Then again, I don't even know who Meg told. So what if I did? I ask people on dates all the time. She was hot and I'm shallow. It seemed like a match to me.

[katiearchive-blog]

scottie-adam:

You’re only saying this in public, because you know that she could find her way into stalking us on here.

Yeah, it’s called having a personality. You wouldn’t know about that though.

I won’t confirm or deny that. All I’m gonna say is if she finds her way onto here, it won’t be me getting into trouble.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

[katiearchive-blog]

scottie-adam:

You’re a weirdo!

Nice comeback, bro.

[katiearchive-blog]

charitydenae:

They were probably in shock or wondering if they should call the State Board of Health. You should try keeping a pair of sweats or yoga pants in your locker at work, or don’t they provide lockers?

I doubt wearing a one piece bathing suit and a pair of shorts qualifies as a health issues.

They provide lockers. That’s where I got my shorts and just slipped them over my bathing suit.

[katiearchive-blog]

jasminekhouri:

I’m not really looking to have fun, though. I just want a break and to do anything that’s not being at work or home.

You seem like a very exciting person.

[katiearchive-blog]

altheacastellanos:

Would you like a parka? Please don’t fight anyone.

No. I wasn’t wearing anything inappropriate and I won’t pretend I was. Don’t worry, I didn’t fight anyone. I wasn’t afraid to, but I didn’t.

[katiearchive-blog]

erabrams:

I definitely agree that people are not the best and you don’t deserve to be stared at but did you really not even have enough time to through on a cover up? I mean if you didn’t want to wear one then that’s a different story but McDonald’s is an odd place to be wearing a bathing suit.

It’s not that I didn’t have the time; it’s that I wanted to go home and didn’t feel like changing. Besides, I was wearing a pair of shorts. It wasn’t like I was walking around with my lady bits hanging out.

[katiearchive-blog]

theodorepuckerman:

I hate to be the one to break it to you love, but i hardly doubt they were looking at you in an objectifying manner, but more so in the “what’s this weirdo doing in a bikini, in the middle of McDonald’s?” Like, I’m pretty darn sure people would be skeptical, if they saw someone sunbathing at the beach in the full clown get up, 

Why does everyone think I was wearing a bikini? Where in my post did I say I was walking around in a bikini? I am a lifeguard, we wear one piece bathing suits at work. I didn’t feel like changing afterwards, so I didn’t. I still don’t see the problem. 

[katiearchive-blog]

fleetwoodellie:

A bathing suit isn’t even remotely close to the strangest thing I’ve seen someone wear to McDonald’s. Maybe the drive-thru would be a better option next time you’re hungry after work though, just because fighting with someone might result in your Big Mac being taken away .

I wanted to go through the drive-thru. That was the reason I went to McDonald’s in the first place, but there was kind of a long line and I thought it would be quicker if I got down and just got my food. Which it was, I guess, but I didn’t think people would have such a problem with it.

[katiearchive-blog]

cotton-eyed-artie:

So were you just wearing the bathing suite , or were you wearing sweatpants or something on top, because, If it was just the bathing suite, that not the normal thing to see in McDonald,  so maybe they were just a little confused, by your attire.   Rightly or wrongly people do stare at things that are out of the ordinary 

It kind of sounds like you’re trying to justify it. I was wearing a bathing suit with a pair of shorts. I wasn’t showing anything, I wasn’t bothering anyone. Why is me wearing my bathing suit after work make it okay for people to stare?

[katiearchive-blog]

sawyerpearce:

Okay but you have to admit that wearing bikinis out in public is a little odd. Like you’re in McDonalds.

I was wearing shorts! And who even said it was a bikini? Lifeguards don’t wear bikinis. It was a one piece swimsuit. 

[katiearchive-blog]

samuel-d-evans:

True, but I can get written up if my boss found out that I brought a dog that I adopted while on duty, to work.

Put a vest on the dog and say it’s part of the K-9 unit. See if that’ll fool them.

[katiearchive-blog]

TEXTS 📲 KATLIA

TALIA: I know, but I'm the mom friend, I have to be the mom friend and worry about you, you know that.

TALIA: Then that's settled. I'll get you your own Batman.

TALIA: That's on her, not you. You did something nice, she did something crappy. In my opinion, she's the stupid one.

TALIA: I spend all day with a three year old, cut me some slack.

KATIE: I know you are, and it's sweet. Maybe also a little annoying, but mostly sweet.

KATIE: I don't want my own Batman.

KATIE: Oh, I'm not saying that she's not stupid. I don't care how much she stole, she's gonna run out eventually and then she'll be fucked.

KATIE: Don't blame my goddaughter for the way you speak. To answer your question, no, I didn't like /like/ her. I don't like /like/ anyone. I felt bad for her, now I don't. Not my problem anymore.

[katiearchive-blog]

TEXTS 📲 KATLIA

TALIA: You are. My moment of panic was for nothing, I know it.

TALIA: Good, because he's mine, and your goddaughter would never forgive you for taking him from her.

TALIA: That's because you're a good person, Katie-Kat. You're not stupid, not even a little bit.

TALIA: But when you say you liked her... Are we talking /like/ like?

KATIE: I do appreciate it, you know? I can handle myself, though. I'm a tough girl.

KATIE: I couldn't take him from her even if I wanted to. Which, by the way, I don't.

KATIE: That doesn't make me feel any less stupid. What is the point in helping someone out when they have no problem completely fucking you over?

KATIE: /Like/ like her? What are we, five?

[katiearchive-blog]

TEXTS 📲 KATLIA

TALIA: Truth. Well, as long as you're okay.

TALIA: I could offer you Batman as a replacement roommate, but his mood swings are even worse than yours, so idk how well that'd work. Plus I'd miss him.

KATIE: Aren't I always?

KATIE: It wouldn't work well at all. I'm not trying to live with your cat.

KATIE: I don't even want or need another roommate. I didn't offer her a place for my benefit. I did it because I liked her and I thought she needed help. I must be really fucking stupid.

[katiearchive-blog]

TEXTS 📲 KATLIA

TALIA: Are you okay? Carina just told me about the criminal you harbored taking off. Did she hurt you? Did she take anything from you?

TALIA: You'd better text me back ASAP because I'm too old for this stress, Katherine.

KATIE: I could have snapped that girl like a twig, so no, she didn't hurt me. I don't really have anything worth stealing? But if she did, oh well. I knew the risk.

KATIE: Ew, don't call me Katherine. I'm fine, honest.