A fresh start

[endangered-justice-seeker]

Expectations vs Reality

[bpdzoldyck-deactivated20181014]

A note on the topic of trauma that I personally found helpful in accepting the idea that I am a trauma victim is that one of the most widely accepted facts in the field of trauma research is that abuse is often not the common factor in whether somebody will develop ptsd. 

Many people can go through awful things without developing trauma based disorders as long as they receive compassion and support in processing those events as they happen. The most common factor in developing something like ptsd is emotional neglect. And emotional neglect on it’s own can be enough. 

Whatever you went through was enough I promise, you’re not overreacting. Abuse and neglect are traumatic at any level, you don’t need to have gone through the worst possible experience you can think of to develop ptsd. If it hurt you then it hurt you.

[imanes]

idc about being pretty anymore cuz physical ugliness doesn’t exist we just assign negative meanings to certain traits and thats whats truly ugly, it’s how cruelly we treat ourselves and the traumas we inflict ourselves chasing illusions and impossible standards, im not saying i still won’t indulge in using sheet masks lol but the bottom line is: i just want to be a good person

[quotemadness]

At the end of the day, it isn’t where I came from. Maybe home is somewhere I’m going and never have been before.

Warsan Shire (via quotemadness)

[selfcarevibes]

Decide to stop feeling guilt and shame

Make this your goal

Work towards letting it all go… a little bit at a time, day by day

Release it the minute you feel it, and turn to give yourself compassion

Tell yourself, “I️ learn from my mistakes.”

Set an intention that your future self will be a person who does not get hung up on guilt and shame

[bitchycode]

[textonly]

[miabicicletta]

jesus, this is spot on

[damianenby-deactivated20200306]

Many children of emotionally phobic parents develop the fear that if they start crying, they’ll never stop, which arises because they were never allowed to find out that crying naturally stops on its own when allowed its full expression. Because they grew up with emotionally phobic parents who stepped in to squelch their distress, they never experienced the natural rhythm of a crying episode and how it winds down.

Lindsay C. Gibson (via damianenby)

[sheisrecovering]

Trauma creates change you don’t choose. Healing is about creating change that you do choose.

[resistdrumpf]

[bitchycode]

I whisper “what the fuck” to myself 50 times a day

[thewriterscaravan]

Trauma victims cannot recover until they become familiar with and befriend the sensations in their bodies. Being frightened means that you live in a body that is always on guard. Angry people live in angry bodies. The bodies of child-abuse victims are tense and defensive until they find a way to relax and feel safe. In order to change, people need to become aware of their sensations and the way that their bodies interact with the world around them. Physical self-awareness is the first step in releasing the tyranny of the past.

Bessel A. van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma (via thewriterscaravan)

[recoverypains]

When something reminds traumatized people of the past, their right brain reacts as if the traumatic event were happening in the present. But because their left brain is not working very well, they may not be aware that they are reexperiencing and reenacting the past- they are just furious, terrified, enraged, ashamed, or frozen.

Bessel Van Der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score (via recoverypains)

[funmentallyillthings]

knowing you cant recover until you get to a better environment, but not being able to leave the one you’re in

[clinicallydepressedpug]

grocery shopping when ok: I have a list of some items I need and a general idea of what nutrients and food-categories would be useful and I will compare prices and fill up a basket judiciously.

Grocery shopping when depressed: this tea looks nice…I think I need an onion? The general concept of orange juice. I have been here an hour. Everyone thinks I’m stealing. I don’t deserve this tea. The size of the Pacific garbage patch. *leaves store w 3 boxes of mac n cheese, an orange, and some eyeliner* where am I?

[thehopefulhello]

[obsessedandthecity]

“I really like your balanced brain chemicals. How you do dat?”

[pigmenting]

I am so busy. I am practicing my new hobby of watching me become someone else. There is so much violence in reconstruction. Every minute is grisly, but I have to participate. I am building what I cannot break.

Jennifer Willoughby, from “The Sun is Still a Part of Me” in Beautiful Zero (via wethinkwedream)