Kat's Writing Desk

Writing portfolio of @suolakissa

[kats-writing-desk]

INDEX

D&D writing:

SoulGear and there's only one bed (sapphic fluff)

Poetry:

Church of Denial Inventory of My Beauty Katselin kieppuvaa lehteä My Summoning Circle "Wall of Fire" Chai

Character introductions:

Asra Harcourt (tba)

[kats-writing-desk]

"Wall of Fire" Chai

Cinnamon bark and ginger root, Cardamom pods and pepper fruit. Add some cloves and needles of pine Into the mortar and crush it fine. Cauldron of water brought to a boil Add all the spices with a vigorous roil. Let them steep with leaves of tea And make my enemies unable to see.

Element of fire I thus invoke Protecting flames and hiding smoke.

[kats-writing-desk]

My Summoning Circle

A large, steaming mug of loose leaf Earl Grey, steeped to perfection. Memories of everyday rituals, homecomings, mother’s comfort. Warmth in the northern cold.

A book of fantasy written in another language, pages softened by countless turns. Gateway to lands unknown, a life not my own. Escape from the monotone.

A set of dice coloured blue, purple and gold. Hand-selected to fit a specific character, her fall or triumph decided by Lady Luck. Forging one’s own path and breaking free of the lies of the past.

A shard of obsidian, edges raw and sharp. Marked by the Goddess some lifetimes ago. Promise of answer to Her call in the coming years.

A deck of tarot cards lovingly wrapped in a black-and-white cloth. Pictures painted by a pixie’s hand a century ago. The gift of Knowing, encouraged by sisters in Craft.

[kats-writing-desk]

Katselin kieppuvaa lehteä tanssimassa tuulessa

pyörii ja putoaa piruetilla ylöspäin

ihan niin kuin mekin.

[kats-writing-desk]

Church of Denial

Inspired by Charles Simic’s “Church of Insomnia”

They exchange brief glances while the minister screeches about altruism. Their eyes are shadowed with exhaustion, lips cracking under a forced smile, shoulders trembling under the weight placed upon them too early. The gold leaf is peeling to reveal rotting wood while their voices are raised together in harmony to the solemn ratification: “I’m fine.”

[kats-writing-desk]

Inventory of My Beauty

Item. Round androgynous face, prone to melancholia.

Item. Double chin with a dimple, unbecoming to some.

Item. Mousy brown hair, fed with purple box dye.

Item. Blue eyes, lined with the trademark mascara and winged eyeliner.

Item. Full lips, made for strong colours and cries for justice.

[kats-writing-desk]

SoulGear and there's only one bed

tags: fluff, there's only one bed, d&d characters, grumpy x sunshine, cuddling, sapphic

cw: light swearing, mention of scars

.

“... Well, this won’t be awkward at all”, Asra finally said to break the silence.

It had already been an exhausting day of travel, and when the party had finally come across a town, stopping at an inn felt like a good decision. Initially they’d figured they’d each just get a room of their own, since they weren’t forced to share one anymore, what with the whole Hades situation finally being over and dealt with. Lior, however, had convinced the rest of them to be a bit more frugal; six rooms was going to cost a pretty penny (even though they could’ve easily afforded it since most of them were still loaded from the assignment in Mierre alone), not to mention it was highly unlikely that an inn in a small town like this would even have that many rooms available. So they’d opted for three rooms and drawn lots for who was going to room with who. Avilion and Fern ended up sharing one, Nōbu and Lior the other, and finally Asra and Cori in the third room.

Asra should’ve known there was some shenanigans going on. They could’ve sworn they’d seen Avilion fiddling with the tokens they’d used to draw, and they’d noticed the warlock discreetly mentioning something to the woman running the inn when she’d handed them their keys. And now, despite specifically having asked for rooms with two beds, Asra and Cori stood at the doorway of a small room dominated by one double bed, both of them too stunned to really say anything.

Asra was definitely going to have some words with Avilion later.

“... It’s probably a mistake. I’ll just head back downstairs and ask to change the room”, they said and turned to go. Cori shifted a little and made an unsure sound which made them stop.

“I mean… We don’t have to, necessarily”, she said. “I mean. We don’t wanna be a bother. The lady probably has lots of stuff to do besides moving the guests around. And it’s not like the room’s bad, or anything like that. We’re both adults, sleeping in the same bed is not that big of a deal.” She didn’t appear particularly fazed about the whole thing, though Asra could still see her twiddling her fingers and her eyes darting between them and the bed a bit restlessly. “And, you know, it does look like a pretty comfortable bed.”

“... Yeah, okay, but one bed is one thing. One blanket and pillow though? It’s still winter, and there’s no fireplace. One of us is gonna end up freezing”, Asra argued.

“We can probably share? I think we can survive sleeping next to each other for one night”, Cori countered and went to sit on the edge of the bed. She bounced a few times to test the mattress, earning a little chuckle from Asra. ”Come on. We’re both tired, so just get in. And it’s not like we haven’t slept together before.”

“...” Did she have to phrase it like that? Sure, they’d slept in the same room before (kinda hard not to when you had to stay within 10 metres from Nōbu in order to not give away their location to a murderous revenant), and Asra was trying not to think of all those times when the party had had to camp outside in the freezing cold and ended up huddling close for warmth. (Only because Avilion as a tiefling was basically a living furnace, and sharing body heat was a valid tactic to survive during winter, Asra kept telling themself.) But sharing a bed, and with Cori of all the other party members? 

“Look, I’ll just sleep on the floor, it’s fine”, Asra said, desperately trying to get Cori to drop the whole idea. “You take the bed, I’ll just use my coat as a blanket or something.” But the sorcerer was having none of that. She stood back up, crossed her arms and frowned at their continued protests.

“Quit acting like I have the plague or something, Asra”, she said, sounding exasperated. “If being near me makes you so uncomfortable, we can just put a pillow between us or something.”

“Don’t you mean the pillow? Since there’s only the one”, Asra replied drily, trying very hard to ignore the obvious tinge of hurt in Cori’s eyes. It’s not that being near her made them uncomfortable. Quite the opposite, in fact. And it’s not like a pillow between them was going to do much, anyway, but…

Cori rolled her eyes.

“Look, no one needs to sleep on the floor, that’s ridiculous”, she said stubbornly. “And it’s not like there’s enough room for that, anyway, unless you want to be under the bed and sneezing at all the dust all night. Just quit being so stupid and get in the bed, okay?”

Asra swallowed and looked away. Fuck. Maybe they should just walk up to either of the other two rooms and ask one of the inhabitants to switch? Avilion was an absolute no, and Fern felt the safest when staying with him, anyway. So Nōbu or Lior, maybe. But Lior would question why, and Asra really didn’t want to have to explain the whole thing right now. Nōbu would be curious, yet too polite to ask, but he seemed to usually prefer to trance on the floor, and there wasn’t room for that. And he would likely be even more embarrassed to share a bed with Cori, and that would just make the situation even more awkward for everyone.

Crap. Their head was starting to spin. How exactly were they supposed to explain away all this? The fact that being that near Cori made Asra so nervous that she was bound to hear their heart beating loudly thousand times a minute?

“... Fuck it. I really don’t want to freeze”, they finally sighed in resignation and sat down on the opposite edge from Cori. “Let’s just… get this over with.”

Asra kicked off their boots and socks and shrugged off the jacket. The enchanted armour shifted to the appearance of dark-coloured leggings and a loose shirt; something a bit more comfortable to sleep in. They firmly kept their back towards Cori when they heard her rustling around, removing her armour and changing into her night clothes. They only dared to look again when they felt the mattress sinking on the other side as Cori sat down as well.

“... Okay then”, Asra breathed and slowly laid down and rested their head on one side of the pillow. It actually was rather comfortable, or at least far from the worst inn beds they'd ever had. Cori followed suit and laid down; Asra felt their heart skip a beat at how close their faces ended up being. Some of her auburn hair fanned over the pillow, and Asra could feel it tickling their nose.

“We’re friends, you said it yourself”, Cori said quietly. Asra hadn’t realised just how blue her eyes were. “This doesn’t need to be weird. It’s just for this night, we can handle that.”

“... Uh-huh”, Asra managed to croak out. Cori turned around and blew out the candle burning on the little table next to the bed, and the entire room became dark.

“Okay then. Good night”, she said and pulled the blanket over both of them. 

Asra instantly knew they had made a big mistake. As soon as the darkness fell, they could see the faint glow of the Blue Sand scars snaking across their arms. Originally, when the glow first appeared after the… explosive experiment they’d done with Raunolymothar, it had also subsided pretty quick. It just seemed to always come back whenever they were in distress or otherwise feeling particularly anxious or emotional. It’s not like it was super glaring or anything, more akin to some blue-tinted glowworms. But you definitely noticed it in the dark. And this was not a moment where Asra wanted their current state of mind known to anyone.

For a few agonising minutes Asra just laid there, unsure of what to do. They were suddenly very aware of every inch of their body and every little movement they made and how it made a sound or moved the mattress and how it would probably bother Cori or wake her up. (She was also laying very still, and wasn’t saying anything about the glow either. Had she seriously fallen asleep so quickly?) The blanket also wasn’t very wide, so Asra’s back was exposed to the chilly air and they were quickly starting to shiver. And there was no room for their arms, which were currently crossed over their chest in a rather uncomfortable position. There was no way in hell they were going to last through the night like this.

“... Fuck”, they finally muttered under their breath, not able to take another second of this. “Hey, Cori?”

“Mhm?” came the answer. Asra wasn’t entirely sure if it sounded like she was startled awake or not.

“I can’t fit under the blanket like this, can I…?” Asra’s voice trailed off, they weren’t entirely sure how to word all the thoughts currently swirling in their brain faster than they could catch onto any of them. They swallowed quietly and before they could start second-guessing themself, shuffled a little closer, pressing their chest lightly against Cori’s back. They hesitated for a moment before wrapping their arm around her waist.

“Is this… okay?” they asked, cursing quietly when their voice cracked a little from nervousness. Cori didn’t say anything, and for a second Asra got hit with the dread that they had made a huge mistake. But then she started shifting around and shuffled a little closer, snuggling against Asra and resting her head below their chin.

Every thought in Asra’s head stopped right then and there.

“Yeah”, Cori murmured. And sounded… content?

“... Okay”, Asra said, not entirely sure what to say or do. They just held onto her a little tighter and finally closed their eyes. Suddenly, there was a quiet in their head where just minutes ago there had been chaos. Their breathing calmed and heartbeat started slowing down, just a little. Suddenly they were warm again, and every ounce of hesitation had left their brain. Like this was exactly where they were meant to be. Like a puzzle piece they hadn’t even noticed was missing had suddenly found its place and changed the picture drastically, and perfectly.

For the first time in a very long time, Asra slept peacefully that night.