Not Today Satan

19. F. Feminist AF. Chloe on Artifical Queens. RPDR, AHS, and Greys Anatomy Trash. USA.

[spngayngels]

Some of the funniest one liners of Apocalypse.

[therealraewest]

Hey do y'all fucks remember two years ago when just before the election all these “don’t vote both parties are bad” or “vote independent!” Posts were going around and then Trump won and now two weeks before midterms there’s all these “don’t bother voting, revolution is the only way!” And “your vote isn’t gonna matter and is an ineffective way to protest” posts are going around? Yeah knock that shit right the fuck off, don’t fall for it and get your ass to the polls, we are not doing this again.

[dankmemeuniversity]

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

this is it, this is the depiction of my last two brain cells that I’ve been waiting for 

[animatedtext]

[aisforarthur]

[thebackyardigans]

……his own fam 

[railroadsoftware]

wow

[bunney]

*white parent voice* i cant believe kanye and kim named their baby North West!! thats ridiculous!! oh no, its almost 4:30, i need to pick up my kids Mackaylikiah and Ashleighyie from their water polo practice!

[blonded004]

[kyliesparks27-deactivated201810]

I always reblog this post so fucking fast every time it comes on my dash my phone shuts down the tumblr app and reboots

[imericschneider]

McKarty 64 is my favorite Mario Kart game.

[stevetomjohn]

My favorite part is that the blog post the photo was taken from detailed this mother’s decision-making process and chose this name because her husband saw it on a road sign on the way home

She named her daughter after a road sign

a road sign

[characterlimit]

[proletarianprincess]

there was a girl at my school called “zona” cause he parents went on holiday to spain and saw it and thought it was a nice name. IT LITERALLY MEANS ZONE

[carpegin]

“47 month old”

[dragongirltitties]

this is my four year old rayman origins

[jennytrout]

“Who’s doing your surgery?”

“Dr. Rayman Origins.”

[rustydanger]

THE APP REBOOTED FOR ME!!

[amari-skies-deactivated20190610]

i met a kid once whose name was “Ryce” and his mum said it was pronounced “Reese”

the best part is she was originally going to spell it “Rice”

[mudskipmcqueen]

My auntie knows a family who decided to name their daughter Owen, but they spelled it “Oin” and they made her middle name the first sound that her big sister made which happened to be “Oogok”. her name is literally “Oin Oogok Puscus”

[suicunesrider]

Oin Oogok Puscus is my favorite dwarf from the Hobbit

[allmenarerapists]

Yo I work at a rec center in a rich neighborhood and these are some real names of white children:

Salter Tryge (pronounced Trig) Loots Pocket Aughyst (pronounced August) Taileigh Lotiss Leviathin (yes spelled like that) Bacchus Daniyal (a girl, pronounced like Daniel)

All real

[the-epitome-of-sophistication-d]

This shit is hilarious

[badgyal-k-deactivated20190901]

@kaiiwooo

[kaiiwooo-deactivated20180323]

I can’t

[onlyblackgirl]

47 month old.

[bando--grand-scamyon]

Nayvie….. Bish whet????

[i-sucked-dick-on-accident-deact]

this is from my kid’s valentine’s list this year like this corny fake unique name thing is no joke yall this is all of the boy names 

[xoverlyxclusivex]

47 month old.

[crimeshetyped]

I refuse to go on knowing someone named their child “Salter” I’m so done ✌🏿️

[mesaymeep]

Treyton lls, I’m dying…

[bird-mom]

I know a person from college who’s name is literally “Smile”, l can’t even explain how ridiculous that is…

[yourlocalsadbean-deactivated201]

47 month old

[nugret]

47 month old

[technicolortessi]

Damn suburban moms love to put unnecessary “Y’s” in names.

[anthony-carmelo-deactivated2017]

<b>47 month old<b/>

[validuskong-deactivated20170416]

47 month old.

[fishy]

Somebody named their kid Pocket?!?!???

[bbcwhereareyou]

I am cry wheeze laughing at this post, and then when I got to the bottom I had apparently already hearted it at some point in its life?

Anyway, bless little Christopher’s parents. My god.

[tsg2k15]

47 month old tho

[unfriendly-black-redhead]

One of the classes I subbed in had a kid named Glarison. I’m sorry, did you misspell Garrison?????

[ladyfabulous]

OMG IT IS BACK! I CAN FINALLY POST THE ASK I GOT ABPUT THIS!

[slytherenne]

[amusewithaview]

I went to college and took religious studies courses with a girl named Storm Pagan. She never understood why I found that both funny and oddly appropriate, and I never felt like taking the time to explain.

[aniseandspearmint]

for the love of your future children, look up what a name means in all languages before you saddle you kid with it until they’re old enough to legally change it.

I took latin in middle school. I don’t actually remember much now, but i’m telling you, it was IMPOSSIBLE to look this girl I knew in passing in the eye because her name was Latrina. 

Latrina.

(For those of you who have no idea why this is unfortunate and hilarious, ‘latrina’ is one of the latin words for toilet)

[lightningparadox]

What the fuck that even sounds like ‘Latrine’ like who looked at that name and went ‘what could possibly go wrong’

[justsomebread]

My dads old coworker was named ‘M3 Sweatt’. that was his Birth-name

[badkidgorgug]

47 month old

[honey-sunny-bee]

My sister literally went to school with a kid named Random Lowe.

[its-queen-panda-bear]

My dad went to high school with these twins sisters named, Marry and Christmas.

[haiku-robot]

my dad went to high school with these twins sisters named marry and christmas

^Haiku^bot^8. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Help keep my meatbag slave alive. Contact | HAIKU BOT NO | Good bot! | Beep-boop!

[handmed0wnart]

Pretty soon kids are gonna start getting made fun of for having ‘boring’ names like Katie

[friendly-neighborhood-patriarch]

Where do you find these kinds of rich people? I’ve lived with rich people my whole life and almost all of us have regular normal names.

This must be some California shit.

[birdn4t0r]

>rich people

you do not understand the truly unholy eldritch being that is the upper-middle class suburban white mom.

[friendly-neighborhood-patriarch]

I’m mildly aware of their presence. They clog the Post Road with their beemers and Chrysler minivans and treat service staff poorly while holding up the line at the local Starbucks.

[sashazaurus]

I can’t get over 47 month old… 

[yourlocalsadbean-deactivated201]

47 month old

[coffee-teach-wine]

This was a wild ride.

[executivelydysfunctioned-deacti]

A teacher I work with has a son named Kyron.

[teachmevalerie]

We had kids named Pebble and Kale at my school this year.

[irollforinitiative]

You call them dumb rich people names. I call them D&D NPC names.

[madlori]

I always love this post when it comes around but have always been tempted to add, as I now will do, that the name Tryge is a pretty regular Norwegian name and having grown up with many Scandinavian relatives and neighbors I’ve known more than one person with that name. I had a family friend whose three sons were named Kristoff, Karl and Kjell, all pretty standard Norsk names (that last one is pronounced “Chell”). 

[cornacia]

mamma mia - honey honey (with trixie mattel and alyssa edwards as sophie)

[roygaylock]

“Oh, your whole family likes to be attacked!” 😂😂😂

[leg-and-dairy]

current mood: alyssa edwards laughing at her own jokes 

[alyssaedwards-1]

Alyssa Edwards as Hillary Clinton x

[poweredbycreativityandcake-deac]

[feistyfrank]

Lady Gaga when Joanne tried to die peacefully

[strikeallthebells]

the funniest goddamn shit i ever did hear

[mermaidthisway-deactivated20210]

[gayfck]

[fazayndeiro]

LAGANJA COME GET ME

[alyssaedwards-1]

Alyssa as Annie Oakley