Kayla's Page

-she/her- I'm not interested in arguing with anyone on this hellsite. I am here to vent. If you try to argue with me I'm just gonna block you.

[kayla-denker]

I'm not interested in arguing with anyone on this hellsite. I am here to vent. If you try to argue with me I'm just gonna block you.

[quasi-normalcy]

So what I think is that there's this default belief in patriarchy that men are superior to women and therefore the "masculine" sphere is superior to the "feminine" sphere. And so, as feminists have fought to expand the number of allowable female activities, men (on the aggregate over generations) have retreated from those activities because they're now seen as "feminine", and so partaking in them is incommensurate with their belief in their own superiority. And, unfortunately, as this has progressed, this has resulted in a lot of men sectioning themselves off from, frankly, everything that actually makes being alive worthwhile. It's a misery spiral, and the only way out is to abandon male supremacy.

[kayla-denker]

You can see this very starkly in certain professions too.

Like mine, archaeology. It used to be dominated by men as late as the 70s. And back then it was highly regarded as this grand prestigious profession.

But starting sometime over the last 40 years the gender demographics of it have shifted drastically. Now it's split pretty evenly between men and women (still almost entirely cis though. Anna Prentiss and myself are literally the only two trans people, let alone trans women, that I know of in the field.) In some places it's even dominated by women! And look how its now regarded: its prestige is almost entirely gone. Some people in other acedemic fields barely even consider it an acedemic profession, most outright deny that its a science at all! And in the toxic manosphere its openly hated. Men like Graham Hancock have made an entire career out of demonizing the field of archaeology.

These things are not coincidental.

[hispartyinvite]

jax if she had her amazing digital transition

[houseofrozhenko]

Both Galaxy: The Prettiest Star and Galaxy: As the World Falls Down end with Taylor n Kat kissing 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜 the cutest girlfriends ever

[bornofanatombomb]

Love these two.

[kayla-denker]

Ok, so you don't like TMA/TME. You don't like that its a "harmful binary."

Good! You should hate it!

We do too. That's the whole point. You think we like being subjected to transmisogyny?

The problem is that you are regarding transfeminists, and trans women in general, as if we are the ones who created this situation instead of the transmisogynists who actually created it and are enforcing it. We're just describing it, giving it a name so that we can fight it. If you hate it so much, why are you attacking the women who are trying to end it?

[obviouslyunobservant]

It's really not enforced or conceptualised by the average person (who is the enforcer of transmisogyny) as a binary in nearly the same way as the gender binary is. Like the average person isn't really likely to divide the population into the binary categories of "transfem" and "not transfem" (which is what I understand tma and tme to mean? (i know what they stand for. everyone is "affected" by transmisogyny one way or another so if you take the literal meaning it is useless) correct me if wrong). For a start, the tma/tme categories are not balanced like men/women. So while your average person will have preconceived generalised notions about both men and women ("men like rocket ships", "women like dinosaurs") it is only really feasible to actually hold preconceived generalised notions about the tma category ("trans women like velociraptors") because the tme category is so large.

My point here is just that tme is almost useless as a category - the only uses I see for it are in rhetorical symmetry with tma ("tmas are generally given far less leeway to make professional mistakes than tmes") whereas tma as a term is generally very useful to describe a set of experiences, disadvantages, oppressions, etc. without mentioning tmes at all ("tmas are often subjected to a kafkaesque process when attempting to get hormones" (note how this does not and can not say anything about all tmes recieving swift access to hormones because they don't necessarily)). The only things you can even correctly say about tmes are things that can (and I would argue should) be rephrased purely in terms of the tma term.

[kayla-denker]

TME is not "useless as a category" because everyone is not affected by transmisogyny. Your own statements prove that. Like where you point out that transfeminine people are given less leeway to make mistakes than everyone else.

Your brain is there, you understand the truth, but your inherent subconscious transmisogyny isn't letting you accept it.

[obviouslyunobservant]

I'll assume you mean "not everyone is affected by transmisogyny" and not "everyone is not affected by transmisogyny".

If tme is useful as a category, make a statement using it. Say something useful or helpful about tmes that is not actually just about tmas (my "statements" in the second paragraph were both about tmas, not tmes. The first statement was directly intended to show the only purpose of tme that I can think of, for rhetorical symmetry. The statement makes perfect sense (even if it is worse grammatically) without the last 2 words, hence the tme is useless except for rhetorics).

[kayla-denker]

Yes, my first statement was a typo. Not everyone is affected by transmisogyny.

I think I see your problem. You think these are supposed to be identity labeles similar to "gay" or "lesbian" or "queer" etc. They are not.

Yeah, obviously TME is useless for categorizing people outside of talking about transmisogyny and how it affects transfeminine people and how it doesn't affect non-transfeminine people. The entire point of these terms is to talk about who is affected by transmisogyny and who isnt.

Your point is what is useless.

[obviouslyunobservant]

"You think these are supposed to be identity labels" No I do not. I think they are supposed to be similar to "man" and "woman" (which are confusingly also identity labels) strictly in their use as delimiting social classes. I compare "tmas are given less leeway to make professional mistakes" and "women are given less leeway to make professional mistakes". However, whilst men as a social class (occasionally) have expectations unrelated to women ("men are expected to perform masculinity by gaining and exercising power over other people") tmes as a social class do not have any expectation that is unrelated to tmas. This leaves tme as little more than a vestigial organ of tma, and so, almost useless compared to tma.

Again, my argument is an argument from ignorance; you can disprove it via example of using tme productively, please do so.

[kayla-denker]

Ypu are not listening at all, not even to yourself. TME and TMA are not like "Man" and "woman" at all. And the fact that you're claiming they are proves my point that you think these are identity labeles. You even admit that when you point out that "man" and "woman" are identity labeles! "Man" and "woman" are genders, "TME" and "TMA" are not. In fact, both groups contain people who are women and people who are not women.

You claim to speak from ignorance, and yet you make bold statements of fact and try to educate me on this. Are you even transfeminine? It sure doesn't sound like you are.

I don't think you are arguing in good faith, none of your thetoric or behavior has indicated that you are. You are here to "educate the dumb trannies."

[kayla-denker]

Ok, so you don't like TMA/TME. You don't like that its a "harmful binary."

Good! You should hate it!

We do too. That's the whole point. You think we like being subjected to transmisogyny?

The problem is that you are regarding transfeminists, and trans women in general, as if we are the ones who created this situation instead of the transmisogynists who actually created it and are enforcing it. We're just describing it, giving it a name so that we can fight it. If you hate it so much, why are you attacking the women who are trying to end it?

[obviouslyunobservant]

It's really not enforced or conceptualised by the average person (who is the enforcer of transmisogyny) as a binary in nearly the same way as the gender binary is. Like the average person isn't really likely to divide the population into the binary categories of "transfem" and "not transfem" (which is what I understand tma and tme to mean? (i know what they stand for. everyone is "affected" by transmisogyny one way or another so if you take the literal meaning it is useless) correct me if wrong). For a start, the tma/tme categories are not balanced like men/women. So while your average person will have preconceived generalised notions about both men and women ("men like rocket ships", "women like dinosaurs") it is only really feasible to actually hold preconceived generalised notions about the tma category ("trans women like velociraptors") because the tme category is so large.

My point here is just that tme is almost useless as a category - the only uses I see for it are in rhetorical symmetry with tma ("tmas are generally given far less leeway to make professional mistakes than tmes") whereas tma as a term is generally very useful to describe a set of experiences, disadvantages, oppressions, etc. without mentioning tmes at all ("tmas are often subjected to a kafkaesque process when attempting to get hormones" (note how this does not and can not say anything about all tmes recieving swift access to hormones because they don't necessarily)). The only things you can even correctly say about tmes are things that can (and I would argue should) be rephrased purely in terms of the tma term.

[kayla-denker]

TME is not "useless as a category" because everyone is not affected by transmisogyny. Your own statements prove that. Like where you point out that transfeminine people are given less leeway to make mistakes than everyone else.

Your brain is there, you understand the truth, but your inherent subconscious transmisogyny isn't letting you accept it.

[obviouslyunobservant]

I'll assume you mean "not everyone is affected by transmisogyny" and not "everyone is not affected by transmisogyny".

If tme is useful as a category, make a statement using it. Say something useful or helpful about tmes that is not actually just about tmas (my "statements" in the second paragraph were both about tmas, not tmes. The first statement was directly intended to show the only purpose of tme that I can think of, for rhetorical symmetry. The statement makes perfect sense (even if it is worse grammatically) without the last 2 words, hence the tme is useless except for rhetorics).

[kayla-denker]

Yes, my first statement was a typo. Not everyone is affected by transmisogyny.

I think I see your problem. You think these are supposed to be identity labeles similar to "gay" or "lesbian" or "queer" etc. They are not.

Yeah, obviously TME is useless for categorizing people outside of talking about transmisogyny and how it affects transfeminine people and how it doesn't affect non-transfeminine people. The entire point of these terms is to talk about who is affected by transmisogyny and who isnt.

Your point is what is useless.

[cj-noway]

Kind of disagree with the belief that people "suddenly switched" on Jax after it was revealed she was transfem in the finale. I think it's more accurate to say it was a dial that slowly turned against her as more evidence pointed to her being transfem.

Like, most people liked Jax before episode 5 fine enough, but the second the maid dress scene happened, the second transfem Jax became a more popular reading, people who were fans of her either played contrarian for transmasc Jax or went on about how Jax actually was never that good of a character to begin with. And with the latter, it's very obvious that it's because a lot trans women are becoming fans of the character and they decide to act like a grade school bully by saying what they like is shit.

And this just kept getting worse until the finale where people are now pulling out "Death of the Author" so they can explicitly remove the transfem character from a trans woman's work. Or they do acknowledge Jax being transfem, but only so they can badjacket her as a rapist murderer.

The reactions toward transfem Jax from episode 5 to 8 and then from 8 to the leaked finale, then it being released in theaters, then on YouTube show a subtle, but noticeable tick where people became more hostile toward an increasingly obvious transfem character.

[kayla-denker]

I think this is a distinction without a difference.

Wether they switched suddenly after they saw the finale or switch slowly after episode 5 came out, the reason and the effect is the same: transmisogyny.

[tboy-trash]

ahh so youre actually a rape apologist who thinks even cishet men should be free to rape whoever they want without consequence and has never heard of the concept of darvo. got it

me when i'm normal about rape survivors saying that the popular useless slogan of the decade, "kill all rapists", does absolutely nothing to protect anybody 👍

[tboy-trash]

"i care about rape victims until one disagrees with me, then they're probably just a stupid cunt that wants even more rape" nice one anon

[thefiresontheheight]

A woman not shaving or wearing a dress or wearing makeup or wearing femme clothes or having styled or long hair or caring how she looks or using a masc name or whatever else is actually a neutral thing and not a sign of her being depressed or giving up or being sad or whatever

[thefiresontheheight]

Extremely predictable, tbh, that this post, made my a trans woman about my experiences as a woman, about my relationship with gender, about how I get pressure to perform to a more feminized gender presentation, mostly from other women, is being reblogged as #radblr because I didn't actually mention being trans, since it wasn't relevant. I'm thirty or forty years old and I have very, very little interest in arguing with anyone on tumblr anymore, but if you're out there relating to this post, and also performatively yelling that trans women are men, or talking about how "you people don't really view yourself as women" or whatever, then all I can say is perhaps pause a moment to consider that our experiences are not all that different, and maybe choose empathy rather than whatever reactive hate you have been choosing.

[mousidy]

I mean, sure, "trans women Should do whatever the fuck we want", but if we want to be taken seriously as actual women we should at least put in the effort. Aren't we in agreement about that?

you're correct that we are taken more seriously as women if we successfully perform patriarchal ideals of femininity, but I take issue with your use of the word "should." saying that we Should do something frames it as a moral responsibility

all women Can perform femininity to receive rewards and recognition of our womanhood, this does not mean women Should do this. do not walk up to a dyke with a buzzcut and say "you should have long hair"

[dogstrogen]

transmisogynistic transmascs are so funny when they say shit like "these evil trans girls doing forcefem encourages transmascs to detransition" because it's not only untrue but just complete terfesque projection. nobody wants transmascs to detransition more than transmascs and it shows with the way so many of y'all are so determined to cling to your cagab and be perceived as women who are pretending to be men 🤷🏿‍♀️

[itsitsukiiii]

You do it to yourself, you do

And that's what really hurts.

[she-who-is-two-sizes-too-big]

Y'all realize trans men were historically included in lesbianism only by virtue of exclusion towards trans women, right? Yhat's not a thing to be celebrated or emulated.

Hell, TERF as a term was coined specifically to refer to the supporters and attendees of the Michivan Wombyn's Festival. Which gladly welcomed trans men in with open arms but turned away trans women because as the name suggests they're idea of a "Real Woman" is an AFAB, regardless of gender identity. Its transmisogynistic as fuck.

[redcat117]

this latest scotus ruling further hammers in the point that tmes are privileged and that the world is catered towards them in a way it will never be for those who are tma. and yet they still fucking act like they don't have privilege and that this title 9 shit actually fucking effects them. guess what tmes can play any sport anywhere they want, they have built in written in cop outs to ensure these trans tmes can play. but all these young tma girls get to suffer, they don't get anything except for increasing hatred and vitriol towards them. while trans tmes are majorly implicit, complacent, and self-centering about the whole thing.

[noze2222]

I think maybe before we move onto Woke 2.0 or whatever people are saying maybe we should actually do Woke 1.0 for trans women. Maybe. Just a thought. But really what we should be doing is going back to Woke 0.0 where people give shit about anti-blackness. Y'know, what the word actually meant? Perhaps we don't need to make even more black vocabulary into "Gen Z slang".

[vespervex]

The "egg prime directive" just on its face is completely asinine.

Guy drinking poison: god why do I feel like shit all the time

Well-meaning person who is knowledgeable about poisons: it kind of looks like you're drinking poison, maybe you should try not doing that and see if you feel better?

Asshole who likes it when people drink poison: UM EXCUSE ME, maybe you should let him decide on his own? Who cares if he may not be aware that what he's drinking is poison, stopping someone from drinking poison without their consent is morally reprehensible, we must respect people's right to drink as much poison as they want. OP you should keep drinking poison and just be happy with how it makes you feel for my comfort

[biblicallyaccuratemoth]

I should be able to turn into a fucked up monster whenever I want. As a treat.

[biblicallyaccuratemoth]

God knew I’d be too powerful as a horrifying shapeshifting monster that could grow extra eyes and claws and fangs

I will never forgive him for that

[biblicallyaccuratemoth]

Having a boss form should be the right of all trans people