“did you finish your homework yet?”
“no, you can’t have dessert until you’ve finished up with dinner first!”
“i don’t care what (dad/mom) said, i’m saying no, and that’s final!”
“hey, (pet name), (dad/mom) said you’re staying home from school because you’re not feeling well. i brought you some medicine and a (food/drink) to help you feel better.”
“i don’t get this crap! why would they change the (school subject) curriculum from the last time your (dad/mom) and i went to school? this is confusing as hell.”
“hey, your (dad/mom) and i found your ‘lost’ report card (in the garbage/under your [bed/pillow/dresser]). care to explain yourself, or are we gonna have to ground you until you do?”
“hey, (name), i noticed you’re failing some subjects in school according to your report card. do you think maybe a little extra time with (me/a tutor/your teacher) can help you better understand the material?”
“(name), stop bothering your (brother/sister)!”
“guess what? you’re going to be a big (brother/sister)! (i’m/mom’s) pregnant!”
“(pet name), your (dad/mom) and i are gonna be going on a small vacation, so we expect you on your best behavior because we’re allowing you to stay home alone for the first time. got it?”
“we heard you (hit/punched/kicked/slapped) another kid at school. you know that’s unacceptable behavior, (name), we raised you better than that!”
“hey, c’mere. how’d you get that (bruise/welt/bump) on your (body part)? did someone do that to you, or did you do that yourself?”
“c’mon, we’re going to the school and telling the teacher that someone in your class is bullying you.”
“(name), we’d like to introduce you to your new baby (brother/sister).”
“ooh, (name)’s got a crush! who’s the lucky (guy/lady/person)? is it someone we know, or (is/are) (he/she/they) from school?”
“i finished my (school subject) homework. can i (play [outside/with my friends]/watch tv) now?”
“hey, (dad/mom), can i have a little bit of dessert before dinner? just a bit, i promise!”
“but (dad/mom) said it was okay! why are you always like this?!”
“(dad/mom), i don’t feel well... i feel really hot, and my (head/stomach) hurts so much.”
“hey, can you help me with my (school subject) homework? i’m not really getting it, and i could use some guidance.”
“oh, um... about the report card... i was gonna tell you guys, but i got scared that you were gonna yell at me or ground me. i’m sorry, i should’ve known you guys were smart enough to find it.”
“i just don’t get school, (dad/mom)! it’s so hard, and it’s frustrating! there are some days where i don’t even wanna go because i don’t understand what they blab on about!”
“(brother/sister’s name) started it! (he/she) was bothering me first!”
“i’m gonna be a big (brother/sister)?!”
“no parties, no friends over, just stay in the house, don’t answer the door to anyone unless i order takeout or delivery, don’t mess with the security cameras you guys set up around the house even though it’s creepy you’re gonna be spying on me. got it. can you guys please go now?”
“okay, i know it sounds bad, but (student’s name) started it! (he/she/they) (swung first/threw the first punch), i was just defending myself!”
“oh, umm... i (ran/bumped into) (some[one/thing]). no biggie, (dad/mom).”
“no, don’t! (he/she/they) won’t listen, (he/she/they) never do(es)! i can just deal with it... i have for the past (number) (days/weeks/months).”
“wow... my baby (brother/sister)... (he/she)’s so little. can i hold (him/her)?”
“aw, (dad/mom), quiet! you’re embarrassing me! also, (he/she/they) do(es)n’t go to my school. we met (online/through a mutual friend).”
vaporwave
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