My nieces called from their school on Tuesday, finally reaching out to me because they were too scared to go home. My sister had caught wind that they'd done some pot and alcohol, and gone nuts.
She took their phones, their computers, the doors off their bedrooms, their hairbrushes, their toothbrushes, *all the food in the house* (so that they'd have to ask permission to eat). She pinned the younger one to the ground to force her to hand over her bank card.
(I know all this because my sister called to tell me about it. About how if you twist someone's arm behind their back, and control their thumb, they HAVE to lie down on the ground, because of the pain... but it doesn't leave any bruises. She. told. me. this.)
tl;dr here is the GoFundMe.
The school's floating social worker was called, but wouldn't show up for a few days, and the dad's lawyer said to wait until Thursday so they could get some emergency custody paperwork filed. But. Then I realized that my sister had their phones and passcodes, and could see all the emails and chats they'd been sending me all day (asking for help) and that she would KNOW, when they got home.
They'd borrowed phones from their teachers. They found their other aunt's contact info on her artist web site, thank god, and managed to contact my older son through his LinkedIn to get my own phone number. They had NOTHING. Fuck. I'm crying so hard. These brave girls.
So I called the counselor's office and said their mother probably knew I'd been colluding to help her kids escape, so they couldn't go home, it wouldn't be safe, and Children's Services needed to get involved now. And meanwhile their dad's lawyer said fuck it, take them home, we'll ask forgiveness rather than permission. [I could have picked them up from school myself, but I had zero legal right to take them to my home and keep them.]
In the family, we've known that my sister was a little crazy, and not a great mom. But we had no idea the extent of the shit that had gone down there. Her home is like a hoarder's house... the girls had to climb over stuff to get through the door to get the older girl's emotional support dog. They had TWO MINUTES to grab everything they could before their mom might get home. You know what 'everything' was? The dog and some stuffed animals.
Their father shot me a picture over his shoulder as they were driving home from that, because I was so worried that my older niece wouldn't get her dog. And my younger niece is leaning into the frame, and she's an infant, she was so young, and her face was stressed and swollen from tears, and she's kind of smiling in relief, and she looked like one of those pictures of firemen bringing cats out of a burning building. She escaped. And she's so traumatized. And so happy to be rescued.
I can't post the picture, because these girls deserve their privacy and their dignity. But I'm dying, y'all. I'm sobbing.
The next morning at 5am my sister was on their lawn screaming that they were 'druggie alcoholics' and that they (and their cousins, and all their friends) were going to go to juvie if they didn't come home with her. That if she couldn't discipline them, then the courts would throw them in jail. Thankfully the cops took one look at the girls, crying and shaking and hyperventilating, and did not even ask to look at any custody paperwork. They just told my sister to leave.
Anyway. There's more to the story. There's more awful abuse. Some of it is physical. Most of it is mind fuckery and emotional. Things like withholding food, medical care, heat. Nauseating things that happened with a prior boyfriend of my sister's. Stuff that these girls thought was normal, because they've never experienced anything different.
My nieces are 15 and 17. They are really screwed up. They have pretty severe PTSD. Social services has mandated therapy (something my sister refused to do for them, even when the younger said she was suicidal). The older girl has neurological issues - a possible seizure disorder, that will finally be addressed. There's just. There's a lot of work to do.
Their father is really stepping up. But he's going to need more money than he's got right now to make them safe and secure, so this is my point: a GoFundMe.
The court system isn't going to let the girls back into that house until after the court date in a month -- and my sister is so vindictive and insane right now that probably nothing the girls cherish will be left at that point. (Which is why it was so vital to recover the dog before she knew anything.)
The father will need to renovate his basement into bedrooms for them. Rooms with doors, so that the girls will have a private and safe space to retreat. They will need intensive therapy. The older girl needs a battery of tests to diagnose whatever her neurological thing is (she stopped breathing in my kitchen over Christmas Break, and often complains that she can't manage stairs, or short walks. Whatever it is is very serious. And if it's anything like my son's neuropathy, it could require regular IV transfusions and easily cost $10k each year before insurance kicks in.)
The younger girl will need more glasses, if my sister carried through on her threat to break the last pair (because the child was costing too much money and 'only wanted glasses so she wouldn't squint'.) Both of them will need meds for depression and anxiety, at the least. And who knows what kind of legal fees are going to be incurred getting them safely and legally established away from their mother.
They only have the clothes they were wearing and the few things they could grab. They don't have their phones, their laptops, their books, their toiletries, their IDs. Nothing. It's going to be very costly to set them back up with their lives. Basically, this is like a house fire but with added trauma.
So if you can donate to them (and to their father), I would really appreciate it. I'm so deeply ashamed that I didn't step in earlier. It was all there to see, if I had wanted to dig, but it was only recently that they got old enough to (a) fight back and (b) ask for help.
I want to help them as much as I possibly can, now, and one thing I can do is raise money to make their journey easier. They might be teenagers, but they are still children, and we can do so much to help them process and manage their trauma, and grow into the brilliant women they are going to become.
If you can help, then thank you, from the bottom of my heart. And if you can't do that, then perhaps signal boost. Or do nothing -- which is fine! -- but hold healing thoughts in your heart, and look around you to be sure this isn't happening to anyone you know. Be better than I was: reach out early, and offer egress, if someone powerless seems to need it.
*Let me know if you want to specify that your donation to go to the father, for grown-up things, or to the girls, for teenager things like clothing or makeup.*
If anyone has anything to spare to support this family, please do. If not, a reblog works just as well. :)
Mojo, Iām so sorry to hear about what your nieces have been through. I really hope things pick up for your family. Iām not on Tumblr much these days, but someone posted this in my server, so rest assured, people are seeing this and passing it on where they can. We appreciate you and want to help. <3
ā i love you, in ways youāve never been loved, for reasons youāve never been told, for longer than you think you deserved and with more than you will ever know existed inside me.ā
āā tyler knott gregson
Beating the Drum ćčÆē».é¶é£.å»é¼ć (Spring & Autumn Period):
An excerpt from a poem originally about a bond between two soldiers during wartime, this saying has since been adopted to describe an endless and enduring love between married couples.
Or:Ā How Lan Wangji of Gusu Lan loves Wei Wuxian
MDZS Networkās Two Years with CQL Anniversary: June 27 (@mdzsnetāā)
CQL Sect: Gusu Lan
These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little boy. But Professor Lan Qiren accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction: chemical X. Thus, the Powerpuff Boys were born! Using their altered superpowers, Wei Wuxian, Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng have dedicated their lives to fighting crime and the forces of evil!
@mdzsnetā two years with cql anniversary eventĀ (Ā“ļ½”ā¢ įµ ā¢ļ½”`) ā”
world building of the five sectsĀ ā§ characteristics, emblems, sets, motifs, & costumes
thank you for two years of wonder and two years of learning, two years of friendship and two years of new experiences. thank you for two years of love.
insp [1] [2] [3]
all concept art and chinese text taken from the official photobook of the untamed
full translations and translation notes [jiang] [lan] [wen] [nie] [jin]
you know what you should do? explain yourself to alice
- a random person who you don't know who happens to have the same url as alice (you have anon disabled im running out of options here)
čåø儽ļ¼Thank you for writing! i found you through your MDZS story and i really adore your insightful writings about the show. In my opinion, i even think the show is better than the novel in their presentation of WX relationship ~ ! it feels more natural and less pandering. Another essay suggestion for you if you want to write --- In the show, who do you think fell in love first in WX? When were the "turning points" when they realized?
sldjfslikl first of all anon, itās WILD that anyone would address me as čåø and iām simultaneously flattered and gobsmacked. (iām really really really not qualified to be called čåø friendāthank you, like, a lot?? but yeah, i gotta say iām not that cool) thank you for reading my fic and liking it and apparently my one meta enough to come talk to me!! also, SORRY this took approximately a million years iāve been working on it on/off for like. two weeks. (@the other anon who also requested metaāpls forgive me im really doing my best apparently these take a lot out of me)
confession: I wrote a WHOLE ADDITIONAL essay in response to your opinion about show vs. novel that i ultimately decided to cut because it flies a little too close to the discourse sun and you didnāt ask for that hahaha. if it turns out you are interested in it, feel free to hmu and i can post it (though iāll probably try to keep it out of the tags for my own mental healthās sake im not cut out for this lmao)
that all being said, who do I think fell in love first? it was definitely lan wangji, and it was right here:
[id: screenshot of lan wangji watching wei wuxian making a wish to āprotect the weak and curb the strong, with a clear conscience for all my lifeā from episode 7 of the untamed drama. wei wuxianās eyes are closed, his hands clasped. lan wangji looks on with a surprised tenderness. /end id]
Hi! Loving your meta on suibian :)) Just wondering what were your frustrations with cql, especially considered you've watched this in multiple mediums? (I've only watched cql)
Hi anon! thank you so much!
Oh boy, youāve unlocked a boatload of hidden dialogue, are you ready?? :D (buckle up itās oof. Extremely Long)
@hunxi-guilai please consider this my official pitch for why I think the novel is worth reading, if only so you can enjoy the audio drama more fully. ;)
a few things before I get into it:
I donāt want to make this a 100% negative post because I really do love CQL so much! So Iām going to make it two parts: the changes that frustrated me the most and the changes I loved the most re: CQL vs novel. (again, donāt really know anything about donghua or manhua sorry!!) Sound good? :D
this will contain spoilers for the entirety of CQL and the novel. just like. All of it.
talking about the value of changes in CQL is difficult because I personally donāt know what changes were made for creative reasons and what changes were made for censorship reasons. I donāt think itās entirely fair to evaluate the narrative worth of certain changes when I donāt know what their limitations were. Itās not just a matter of āgay content was censoredā; China also has certain censorship restrictions on the portrayal of the undead, among other things. I, unfortunately, am not familiar enough with the ins and outs of Chinese censorship to be able to tell anyone with certainty what was and wasnāt changed for what reason. So I guess just, take whatever my opinions are with a grain of salt! I will largely avoid addressing issues related to how explicitly romantic wangxian is, for obvious reasons.
OKAY. In order to impose some kind of control on how much time I spend on this, Iām going to limit myself to four explicated points in each category, best/worst. Please remember that I change my opinions constantly, so these are just like. the top contenders at this specific point in my life. Starting with the worst so we can end on a positive note!
Henceforth, the novel is MDZS, CQL is CQL.
CQLās worst crimes, according to cyan:
1. Polarizing Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyao on the moral spectrum
Iāve heard rumors that this was a censorship issue, but I have never been able to confirm or deny it, so. Again, grain of salt.Ā
The way that CQL reframed Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyaoās character arcs drives me up the wall because I think it does a huge disservice to both of them and the overarching themes of the story. Jin Guangyao is shown to be responsible for pretty much all the tragedy post-Sunshot, which absolves Wei Wuxian of all possible wrongdoing and flattens Jin Guangyao into a much less interesting villain.
What I find so interesting about MDZS is how much it emphasizes the role of external forces and situations in determining a personās fate: that being āgoodā orĀ ārighteousā at heart is simply not enough. You can do everything with all the best intentions and still do harm, still fail, still lose everything. EvenĀ ārightā choices can have terrible consequences. Everyone starts out innocent. āIn this world, everyone starts without grievances, but there is always someone who takes the first blow.ā
stormborns
dededos
izzy806
tangentwithtanner
snowghoul
