this girl is taking bets

never ending cycles.

[littlemusings]

[photo credit]

[littlemusings]

[photo credit]

[kaytlinnuostein]

Mornings with you

[poetsbloom]

How do I keep falling more and more in love?

Is there a limit to love?

- unsure

[quotemadness]

“Words that come from the heart are never spoken, they get caught in the throat and can only be read in ones’s eyes.”

— José Saramago

[sunsetquotes]

“Sometimes human beings have to just sit in one place and hurt.”

— David Foster Wallace; Infinite Jest

[harokissmile]

“God looks at the heart.”

— 1 Samuel 16:7 (via randytemple)

[harokissmile]

“We sat in the back of his car with our heads facing the night sky. He held my hand and pointed out constellations but I looked at him because he was the brightest star shining.”

— worshipthefunsized (via wnq-writers)

[kaytlinnuostein]

“Why are you helping me?” (Nikhil to Kayt)

Kayt rolled her eyes, irritation as obvious as the sweat and car grease on her forehead as she helped Nik. “because your cousin is important to me, and currently has a techy nerd workshop set up in my shop and I really don’t want to hear the end of it if I don’t help you. Plus, customers like him and he’s good for business.” She grumbled, wiping her brow. “And you’re a good guy, Nik.” 

[kaytlinnuostein]

“Sometimes, being a complete nerd comes in handy.” (Ashwin to Kayt because we know he's said this at some point)

“I mean, if it weren’t for your nerdiness how could we ever put together this.. what is? CC-9?” she laughed, knowing full well it was a BB-8 robot, despite having never seen the movies. “From, what was it, Moon Peace Treaties?” 

(oh ash has definitely, without any doubts, said that to kayt lmfao)

[kaytlinnuostein]

- kaytlinn uostein moodboard // the teen years ;;

    - looks like the forecast is calling for alcohol! -

"I would rather shit nails than deal with this right now.”

[chrmdpoet-deactivated20201207]

50 Dialogue Prompts

“It’s really not that complicated.”

“Close the door.”

“It’s three in the morning.”

“I should have told you a long time ago.”

“Why are you helping me?”

“You have to leave right now.”

“Just trust me.”

“I’ve been waiting a long time.”

“You’re in love with her.”

“Come here.”

“We could get arrested for this.”

“What are you thinking about?”

“I thought you were dead.”

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“Was that supposed to hurt?”

“I can explain.”

“Love is overrated.”

“Watch me.”

“I’ve missed this.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Sometimes, being a complete nerd comes in handy.”

“I don’t owe you an explanation.”

“We have to be quiet.”

“You’re trembling.”

“I want an answer, goddammit!”

“It was you the whole time.”

“Tell me again.”

“This is why we can’t have nice things.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“You don’t see me.”

“I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you.”

“You could have died.”

“Prove it.”

“I might never get another chance to say this.”

“Do you regret it?”

“Tell me I’m wrong.”

“Lie to me then.”

“You’ve thought about this, haven’t you?”

“We need to talk about what happened last night.”

“I never stood a chance, did I?”

“I feel like I can’t breathe.”

“I’m only here to establish an alibi.”

“Are you drunk?”

“I still remember the way you taste.”

“How much of that did you hear?”

“What happens if I do this?”

“Why are you whispering?”

“You make me want things I can’t have.”

“I don’t want to screw this up.”

“People are staring.”

[kaytlinnuostein]

eight facts about kaytie -

inspired by @gallant-spirit​

she’s spent many days surviving purely on energy drinks, protein bars, and beer.

when she’s having a hard time calming down and just relaxing, she turns on kids’ movies.

despite being a ‘wild, uncontrollable, child’, Kayt has a great respect and adoration for her mother and father, however was always closer to her father. 

the only people she ever ‘let’ call her ‘Kaytie’ were her dad and brother, sometimes her mom and Nikki. 

she’s got a bad habit of seeing herself in other people, to rationalize and empathize with their motives.

in magical AUs, 99.99% of the time she’s a werewolf. 

her back pocket almost always consists of a wrench, because “anything can be fixed by a wrench”.

despite not doing music as much lately, kayt still often writes song lyrics, and keeps pocket sized notebooks with her at all times. She’s got a cabinet full of old and new notebooks. 

[kaytlinnuostein]

Myers Street | Kayt + Lu

[kaytlinnuostein]

lukewarmxxatbest:

Lu took a deep breath and nearly cradled the bottle of wine as if it were their baby. It had to be handled with care, after all. Who knew if they would drop it or not at this rate. “Ahhh…forgettin’ problems sounds nice,” they grinned at Kayt, “so hard to ferget and then ya fin’ somethin’ that…helps…trampoline would be good. Good, good. We should go there sooon, pretty please?” 

Licking their lips, they gazed at Kayt as she spoke. She was sweet with Matt. Did she realize that? Probably like them, she feared of ruining him. Though not everyone would be willing to admit such a thing. Lu was used to admissions as such, though. They leaned into the hair ruffle and smiled at her like a dopey dog. “Bu’ he shouldn’? He barely knows me. I…I once..I once put my foster ma’s pearls in her…corn chowder? Ha. She coulda choked, ya know? I don’ wanna hurt Matt…like that.” Lu looked down at the bottle of wine, wanting to cry as they thought of Matt whilst doing so. “But it’s all I got?” they whined quietly. 

Kayt smiled relatively sadly at their nearly-younger-self.  She remembered wanting to forget everything. Hell, she still did want to forget everything sometimes. The scars on her skin pulsed, reminding her that things don’t just go away. “We’ll go there soon, I promise.” Kayt nodded, “But forgetting everything doesn’t really solve things. Just postpones them, mo ghra.” she murmured before taking a long drag from the vodka bottle. Wine didn’t really sit well with her all the time.

“He doesn’t have to know you.” Kayt stopped talking to listen to Lu’s story about the corn chowder. She had to choke back a laugh, biting her lip till her teeth left near indents. “Well, I mean- It doesn’t seem that awful. Pearls are small at least. I’m sure you won’t hurt Matt like that. Did you know you have enough strength in your jaw to bite off your pinky finger like a carrot stick? but you don’t because your brain won’t let you. Your brain won’t let you hurt Matt either, I promise.” Kayt’s brows furrowed, “no no no. It’s not. You’ve got Matt, and I. And you said Noey, right? You’ve got music and a future. Cling to those things, alright?”

[kaytlinnuostein]

Myers Street | Kayt + Lu

[kaytlinnuostein]

lukewarmxxatbest:

Lu cocked their head and furrowed their eyebrows, looking at her. She was intimidating as hell but terribly interesting. Lu wanted to know her a bit more but was never sure how to go about it. Maybe they wouldn’t be close but…it still seemed nice to know her. “Ooo, why when yer sad? Cuz you can jump ‘n like…have fun? And forget yer problems? Ha. If only!” Lu shook their head and poured again.

“He doessss!! But it’ll hurt em one day! Don’t you know that? You gotta see it. I see it with Noey aaaaall the time. S’only a matter of time. I worry ‘bout good ol’ Matty!” Lu shrugged a bit and ran their hand through their hair. Why were they the way they were? It was odd. It was a strange thought process. “I dunno. Mom didn’t love me enough to protect me and dad was terrible. I dun feel worth nothin’. I gotta prove it. M’not worth it.” Lu chewed their lip for a moment before taking another gulp of wine. Their body was so warm because of it. Nothing made them more warm than alcohol. It was comforting. They hadn’t done this in so long. “I dunno. M’not scared of him. I just…I don’ wanna hurt him, ya know?”

Being next to Lu in a situation where they weren’t trying to be such a tough ass, was.... nice? It solidified her thoughts that there was more to Lu than a punk. She smiled softly and snorted, “Yeah, cause I can jump and forget my problems. Also because you’re alone with nothing but the world and- well, the stars kinda make your problems feel so small.” She shrugged, looking up at them twinkling. They were so much brighter in the winter. 

“If I thought that I wouldn’t still be with him, Lu. I’m a walking wrecking ball, and he still loves me. He’ll always love you, too.” She reached over to ruffle Lu’s hair. “Who’s Noey?” Kayt wondered if that was the little red head that she saw at Matt’s from time to time. She’d told Matt a few times she thought they may be seeing each other. “Your mom and dad obviously fucking sucked, then.” She shrugged. “Don’t let their suckage gauge your worth.” 

[kaytlinnuostein]

Myers Street | Kayt + Lu

[kaytlinnuostein]

lukewarmxxatbest:

Lu nodded a little and hummed. “Ohhh….okkaaay. I getcha! We can go there thennn.” Though, Lu was not going to be anywhere anytime soon in the state they were in. If they were, they’d need help getting to the car. “I haven’ been on one in aaages.” Lu grinned at her. Funny how they could act like they didn’t feel like shit with alcohol. They could almost forget the age of their over worn binder, too.

Sighing, Lu shook their head. “N-nooo. I’m a pain. I’mma pain in the ass…and he feels obligated to me and he shouldn’…I’ll like…ruin his life or some shit…” They shrugged as if the thought didn’t hurt them. They ruined everyone’s lives. Eventually they’d ruin Noelle’s and that would be the last straw. They’d lock themselves up. They let her take the wine and watched before gesturing for it back. They wanted another drink. “Cuz um..cuz I take advantage of…people and like…I’m scared they’re gonna hate me so I..I give em reasons to so m’right…”

Kayt shook her head, hoping that eventually she’d be able to get Lu to get into the car and get back to her and her parents’ place. Her dad was on a business trip, and her mom had work early, so Lu wouldn’t have to worry about people they didn’t know. “I don’t get on i tnear enough. Only when I’m sad, honestly.” Why not open up? Not like he’d remember tomorrow anyways. Or even in ten minutes. Kayt hoped. 

Kayt laughed, “Lu. you’re not ruining his life. If you were, I would’ve petitioned to have him kick you out months ago. Matt loves helping people.” These were all assumptions, of course. But she thought she was right. She couldn’t imagine Matt feeling like his life were ruined. “Why? Why sabotage yourself? Are you scared of getting caught in a situation where you’re vulnerable?” Kayt asked, passing the bottle back and grabbing her vodka bottle to take a long swig. She brought her knees to her chest, the feelings Lu was talking about feeling all too familiar of her past. “Don’t be scared, Lu. Open up. Matt won’t hurt you. I promise. I won’t let him.” Does Matt see me in him? Is that why Matt took him in???

[kaytlinnuostein]

Myers Street | Kayt + Lu

[kaytlinnuostein]

lukewarmxxatbest:

Lu sighed and tried to keep their head from spinning. They thought for a moment maybe they had too much to drink but then they quickly pushed that aside. They were fine. “Oh. No no no…wha’s at the shop then???” Lu wasn’t particularly picky on what they did. So long as the liquor was coming they would go anywhere. “Trampoline’s’coooooool,” Lu sang. They couldn’t make up their mind to save their life.

They saw Katy’s hand and clumsily reached up for it before fumbling miserably. “Woopsies daisies ha!!” When she mentioned Matt, they poured. “Oh…he’s…mm..he’d hate me? Yeah… prolly bes’not tell em…” They chewed their lip and took another drink of wine. They felt tears at the thought of taking advantage of Matt. He’d been so nice to them from the minute he met them. How was someone so nice? “M’a terrible person…” Lu whined, completely distracted now.

Kayt rose a brow at Lu’s ridiculousness. “It’s just a nice place to hang out. I used to drink there a lot.” Kayt almost laughed when Lu sang about trampolines. He had good tone, even drunk. It made Kayt wonder if Lu could actually sing, and if he could, if Kayt could help him refine his talents. “Yes, they are.”

Kayt sighed softly and resigned herself to sitting down with Lu there. The cold dew from the grass soaked bits over her jeans, causing goose bumps to raise on her legs and arms despite her jacket. “Matt loves you. He could never hate you. So take that worry off your plate.” Kayt reached for the wine and took a long sip. She hated the drunk you got with wine, and could bet Lu would have a gnarly headache in the morning. “Why do you think you’re a terrible person?” It was easier to ask why, and then explain why their reasoning was shit, than to just say they aren’t.

[kaytlinnuostein]

Myers Street | Kayt + Lu

[kaytlinnuostein]

lukewarmxxatbest:

Lu curled up next to a tree, tighter around the second bottle of wine they were nursing that they had stolen from Matt. He would probably get mad at them but at this point, Lu wasn’t sure his anger was all that…scary? Matt was more about lessons, it seemed. He never got angry. They ran their hand over the blades of grass as they contemplated their existence. What really did they have to live for? Was Noey the only person on this planet that could make it worth while?  At the sound of their name, Lu perked up a little and giggled. “Oof! Yur heree,” they sang with grin, totally masking how they really felt. “Mmmm buuuut I can’ see stars there..? Can I? Stars arghh…they’re perty!” They took another sip from the wine bottle and ignored the metal taste it was starting to have. 

“Hey, yeah, I’m here.” Kayt looked down at Lu, wondering what possibly could have happened that put them in this situation. Be it someone else, or their own past. She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Not really.. But you can if we go to my house instead. I have a trampoline. We can lay on it look up at the stars, if you want.” Kayt offered, shrugging. She wasn’t really in the mood to be chilly and drink and stare at stars, but if that’s what Lu needed, she would try to help them. They were at the ade that she was when she needed help, too. 

“Soo, wanna join me?” She asked, putting her hand out to help Lu up. “I promise I won’t tell Matt,... and I’ll get that wine replaced.” She confirmed. smiling softly down at him. What she’d actually do is take the fall for it. She knew Matt wouldn’t be angry as much as sad about it, but he’d be much more.... forgiving, to her. Of course these were all assumptions, but she was really confidant that Matt would forgive her for anything.