ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ꜱʜɪᴘ; ᴀ ᴍᴀꜰɪᴀ ᴀᴜ.
synopsis: a look at the events that shaped the jackson boys into the men they are today. word count: 5.1k warnings: non-graphic depictions of a burn wound, mentions of guns, murder and child abuse. depiction of ptsd and dissociation. an: originally titled D4MNs cause i was gonna have them shoot up the club LMAO but ultimately it went in the opposite direction. reading old j5 articles is mad eye-opening, helped me play around with their characterizations a bit.
1975, encino, california
“joseph, you already made marlon miss his and toya’s graduation. michael was excited about this. i finally got everyone together and you’re just undercutting my hard work—”
“hard work is what keeps food on the table and this roof over your head.” joseph’s gravelly voice cut in.
it wasn’t rare that joe and katherine fought. over the years as she found out more about how the patriarch of the family made his money and involved his sons, she tried her hardest to push back. jackie and tito moving to vegas together sounded like a great way for them to get from under their father’s thumb until she found out they were running numbers for him and had somehow managed to gain leverage on the las vegas strip loan sharking to desperate gamblers who couldn’t pay their debts.
as a child, jackie had been a natural athlete; something he would have in common with marlon and jermaine. katherine wanted him to follow those dreams and go pro in whatever sport he chose. tito had been adept at math and science, telling her when he was no older than 12 that he wanted to be an engineer.
neither would achieve those dreams.
katherine hadn’t been able to look the boys in the eye the first time they came home after their move. tito had been the one to ask her what she knew after about 10 minutes of the silent treatment and a hug dry enough to rival the sahara desert. jackie apologized to her, but offered no explanation for anything they were doing. katherine got the feeling that he didn’t want to be the one to explain the why. both of them were too old to say, “joe made us do it.”
she didn’t think it was that simple anyway. joseph was an authoritarian, one that had each of his sons in line. she thought that she could soften them, make them not turn out quite as hard as their father. there were brief times in their childhood where she was sure she could be successful in her mission.
it was clear that wasn’t the case. her boys had an edge to them they could hide in a way that their father could not. she just had to wonder what she missed—what she wasn’t privy to when joseph picked which sons to take with him to “work”, or the times when he piled them into the van and disappeared for a weekend, sometimes even weeks. the longer trips, when the boys were little, she accepted as visits to see joe’s family; people she didn’t like but knew they meant a lot to him. as much as he held disdain for gary, indiana, he was always very adamant about the boys never forgetting where they came from.
“no sons of mine are gonna live in the lap of luxury in california and forget they coulda been workin’ in the steel mills in indiana.”
now she wondered what exactly they were up to back home. anytime she asked to follow behind with the girls, joe would snap that it was a trip for the boys. he couldn’t raise them into men with katherine and the girls tagging along and distracting them.
“joe, just let him walk across the stage.” katherine pleaded quietly, feeling exhausted with the conversation.
they had been having this same argument for far too long, the only difference between each one being whichever child they happened to be talking about at the moment. if it wasn’t about joe depriving the boys of a childhood or important milestones, then it was the unsavory people he had them around and what they were learning from his guidance. she had lost faith in jackie and tito, they weren’t leaving the life anytime soon from what she could tell. jermaine had left the family home abruptly, only a few months after turning 19, without a word. they all found out while watching the news that he was working for some family out of detroit who had made a name for themselves in los angeles county’s ever evolving political landscape. before that he was content to work side by side with joe, following him to work like a dutiful son until something between the two of them broke. katherine never did learn what happened between them, just that jermaine yelled something about feeling looked over and unappreciated. he was gone not too long after that.
when joe heard the name ‘gordy’ he’d thrown one of katherine’s antique vases at the television screen.
“that boy is a traitor and he ain’t allowed back here.” was all he said before getting up and stomping out of the room.
the family wasn’t allowed to even utter jermaine’s name after that.
marlon still lived at home. he was only 18 and katherine wasn’t ready to even think about her three youngest boys leaving the nest anyway. joseph never seemed to have the patience to deal with him, michael, or randy when they were smaller; resorting to yelling and beatings when they wouldn’t focus or follow instructions. she could still hug and kiss their tears away, tell them it was okay, and apologize for their father’s actions and words.
it wasn’t until marlon was around 15 that something changed. joe had taken him to work and he had come back different—quiet, which was something he never had been. a joker and troublemaker, especially when michael was involved, who loved sports was how she would have described him up until that day. even joseph would admit he was good at any sport he picked up; basketball, baseball, he was a bit too small for football at the time but he had a good arm. he could’ve had something of a sports career, maybe do what jackie hadn’t been allowed to.
“great aim, a good shot.” joseph would nod and grin.
katherine learned what he meant by that purely by accident and with how meticulous marlon had become in such a short amount of time, she wasn’t sure if she ever would have. she had a habit of tidying her kid’s rooms. the older they got, the less she saw them. being in their spaces was like being with them and she didn’t care how pathetic it sounded. marlon’s room had become suspiciously spotless as of late, she would stand in the doorway searching for something to put away and couldn’t even find fault in how he had made up the bed. she gave the room one last once over when an open box caught her attention. it looked unassuming as it sat on his desk; maybe a package he received and forgot to put away or something he was in the middle of packing up. she walked over to it and peered inside, her eyes widening at the sight in front of her.
if there was one thing katherine was not, it was stupid. she ignored things to protect herself and her children, but she wasn’t naive or innocent. a child who watched too much television would know what was currently sitting in the cardboard box in front of her. in pieces, inside the box was a pistol and what she recognized as a silencer. a part of her knew she shouldn’t, but she began reaching inside; just to see if maybe it was plastic when a voice startled her.
“they took your prints when you worked at sears back in gary, right, mother?”
she turned, hand to her chest and looked at the boy she’d regarded as one of her babies until about a minute ago. he watched her carefully from the doorway, hands stuffed in the pockets of his plaid pants. “you touch that and the wrong person finds it, they’ll run your prints. guy was killed in the bay, but they won’t have a problem tyin’ you to it just ‘cause you’re in encino.” he said calmly.
katherine didn’t know who this boy was. she wanted to throttle joe for exposing their 15 year old to this.
“have you used it? used one at all?” katherine questioned, her voice small.
“i don’t wanna answer that ‘cause i see the way you look at jackie and tito when they come around and i don’t want you lookin’ at me like that.” he took a deep breath and gave her a smile, one that was reminiscent of her baby.
it felt like a stranger wearing his face and that unsettled her even more. “marlon…”
the smile was gone as quickly as it came and he shrugged as if giving up on trying to fix anything with her, “you still got the girls, i guess. mikey and randy too.”
katherine crossed the room as quickly as her body would let her and wrapped her son up into a hug, frowning when he hesitated to hug her back. her lack of a response to what he said was enough to sow doubt in the back of his mind. she knew she needed to fix that. if marlon had joined his father and brothers in whatever they had going on, she knew it was only a matter of time before joe began eyeing michael and randy next. she needed to get crafty; figure out how to ensure her remaining children remained themselves in all of this.
even if it meant getting her own hands dirty.
“joseph just had me doin’ target practice,” he had murmured into her neck, “‘s’all, i promise.”
even back then she had known it was a lie.
from the day she found the gun in marlon’s room to the day of michael’s graduation, katherine jackson had forced her way into joe’s “business”. he had been against it at first, ranting and raving about how she needed to mind their younger children and stay out of his affairs. when he realized she was putting her foot down, he begrudgingly allowed her to do his bookkeeping for him. this would be how she learned what was actually going on and who and what her sons were being exposed to.
“i need those boys in los angeles at 5 o’clock for an important meeting. that graduation ain’t that important—“
“it’s important to michael. it was important to marlon, jermaine, tito, and jackie but they all missed those milestones for you. they have done everything for you joseph and you have given them nothing in return!”
“i gave them a pot to piss in and a window to throw it out of! i gave them life—”
“half of which came from me and i have no qualms about ending yours if you don’t stop acting as if your own children are just your employees with no thoughts, feelings or wants outside of you.”
joe leveled her with a look that he saved for the boys when they pissed him off about something or other. he worked his jaw, fists clenching as he stepped away from his wife. “fine katy, but michael and marlon better be at chateau marmont by 5 on the dot.” he hissed, exiting the kitchen so quickly, michael didn’t even have time to pretend he wasn’t eavesdropping from the doorway of the den.
marlon sat on the couch behind him with a knowing smile on his face, “see, told you mother would handle him. no hit needed.”
michael rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help but smile at the thought of going to his high school graduation. “marlon, i told you i wasn’t serious about that.”
“i woulda done it for free.”
“marlon david jackson don’t talk like that.” katherine said as she entered the den and gave michael an affectionate pat on his cheek.
“mother, you just threatened to end joseph in front of your impressionable children and expect us not to imitate your behavior?” marlon gasped, eyes dancing with mischief as a laugh threatened to spill from his lips.
katherine shook her head, smiling exasperatedly at him, “both of you get upstairs and help janet and randy get ready. i’ll wrangle toya. we have to leave soon, michael needs to be at the school gym an hour before the ceremony.”
“yes ma’am.” the boys say in unison.
“thanks mother.” michael smiled softly, kissing her cheek before jogging toward the staircase.
1983, pasadena, california
“should we even be here?” randy questioned as jackie adjusted his tie for him.
“everyone knows you don’t reject an invitation from the gordy family.” jermaine said, “they would take it as a sign of disrespect.”
“you scared of your daddy berry, ‘maine?” marlon laughed, earning a swat to the back of the head from tito.
tito never did like it when the boys joked like that. he had an odd protectiveness about joe’s position as their father despite the fact that he was so distant from the man. “everyone better be on their best behavior tonight.” he warned, eyeing marlon specifically.
marlon put his hands up in surrender, the brass knuckles on his fingers making tito fix him with another stern look, “take them off, marlon,”
“i like to be prepared.”
“this is a charity gala not a street brawl. the hell is wrong with you?” jackie frowned.
“well, the year was 1957. it was a mild spring day in gary, indiana—”
“yeah, that’s enough out of you.” tito sighed, grabbing his younger brother’s weapon and placing it in his pocket.
marlon simply shrugged and decided not to mention the second set connected to the chain he was wearing, hidden beneath his dress shirt.
michael sat off to the side, half-listening to his brothers’ conversation. the last few years had been rough to put it mildly. there was a fracture in the family that no one could seem to fix and he was beginning to wonder if there was even a point in trying to make it work. jackie, tito, and at one time rebbie occupied a position as a second set of parents to the siblings; something that rebbie had let go of by the time she was married and raising her own family. tito and jackie, despite their distance still seemed to think they could navigate their relationships with their adult siblings the same way they had when they were teens that just didn’t work anymore.
jermaine had one foot in the door and one foot out after his semi-reintegration into the family. joseph wouldn’t acknowledge him, but katherine was adamant about him coming back despite his work with the gordys. he had missed so much that he didn’t quite know how to approach his siblings anymore. tito and jackie had welcomed him back with open arms, rebbie had called and expressed her happiness at his return, la toya kept him at arms length, unsure of his motives and still upset about his abrupt departure. she was cordial with him though. janet and randy just missed their older siblings in general and had been happy when he came back around.
michael was fine with jermaine coming back, he had missed his older brother. their dynamic was different now, strained even, but he was willing to work on it. he hadn’t anticipated his work with joe and his new mentor to cause his relationship with jermaine to worsen. quincy jones was great at what he did and a better teacher than joe could ever be, but he also demanded michael’s full attention. at first, it had been a welcome distraction after marlon moved out in ‘78, much to his and katherine’s disappointment, but it soon became a full time job. he could no longer dedicate time to building his relationship with jermaine. their conversations, when they could have them, mostly involved discussing their childhood memories, but never attempting to learn each other as adults.
it was more or less the same for jermaine and marlon, who had moved to los angeles and rarely gave them updates on what was going on in his life. everything was covered up with a joke or a jab, some jermaine took personally, others he took in stride. it all made him limit his time with the younger man while he tried to connect the teenager he left in encino to the adult he had become in his absence. he wasn’t quite sure if he liked what he saw.
“i dunno, this feels like a setup.” randy said as he leaned against the wall of the hotel suite they were using to get ready.
“you know somethin’ we don’t?” tito asked him.
“i know the feds are watchin’ gordy like a hawk and he’s desperate. he knows the charity gala ain’t enough to get them off his back and he won’t be able to wash the money he’s been stealing in time. he’s lookin’ for someone to take the fall.” randy explained as if it were the most obvious thing on the planet.
michael looked over at randy in shock, “where did you get that information from?”
“i know a guy.” randy shrugged.
jackie and tito shared a look before putting their attention on jermaine. “did you know he was embezzling money?” jackie asked him.
jermaine swallowed, “well…”
“jermaine.”
“you’re basically his right hand, you’re the fall guy stupid. why you actin’ like joseph never taught you shit?” jackie said, shoving him.
it was rare that jackie lost his cool, but michael felt it was justified in the moment. he watched marlon hold his hand out to tito, who begrudgingly gave him his brass knuckles back. “just in case marlon.” he warned him.
marlon simply pocketed them with a knowing smirk on his face. he also decided not to mention the pocketknife in the waistband of his pants.
“who was he embezzling from?” jackie asked jermaine, hands on his hips as he attempted to keep himself from putting his hands on his younger brother again.
michael suspected it would be more than a push next time.
“taxpayers, but he—”
“randy, get to the nearest pay phone and call joseph.” jackie instructed and randy wasted no time obeying his command.
jermaine shook his head, “joseph won’t help me—”
“shut up. you really know how to get yourself into some shit, don’t you?”
1984, los angeles, california
“today, we take a moment to honor joseph jackson’s commitment to ensuring the los angeles county board of labor continues to honor its long-standing relationship with its illustrious labor unions,” billy davis, a very well-known gordy associate said as he held a plaque up for the jackson patriarch, “today, presenting the award to joseph are his sons, who i have had the pleasure of watching grow up, michael and tito jackson!”
light applause sounded across the auditorium as michael and tito got up to take the stage. michael stood at the microphone while tito took the plaque from billy and held it up for the audience to see. “we’re very thankful to be able to present this award to our father on behalf of the los angeles county board of labor. he has spent his time in the labor unions has a vital arm, protecting employees and making sure that ethics drive all decisions made by employers.” michael said from the memorized speech he’d written the night before.
randy rolled his eyes, causing jackie to elbow him in the side. “quit before they roll outta your head.” he muttered.
“you don’t find this ridiculous?” randy asked him, eyebrows raised in curiosity.
“i’ll find my foot up your ass if you don’t hush.” jackie said.
marlon snorted, earning a glare from randy who then put his attention back on the stage. michael’s speech was coming to a close and the boys had to admit that even though what he was saying was bullshit, he sounded good saying it. he had always had a way with words, which was evidenced by his ability to make joseph jackson sound as though he created the heavens and the earth, solved world hunger, and brought peace to the middle east.
“and now we present this award to our father, joseph jackson—”
there was a crackling noise, then what sounded like a firecracker that cut through the auditorium, causing the loudspeakers to spike from the microphone feedback. the audience began to murmur amongst themselves in confusion at the strange noises while tito, michael, and billy looked around at each other, trying to see what the commotion was.
“jackie…” marlon started as sat up in his seat, but the rest of his sentence never left his mouth.
the first explosion shakes the building and renders everyone inside confused. the second causes panic. each jackson brother looked at the fiery mass on the stage in horror and immediately jumped into action. “randy, get out of here!” jackie shouts over the wails and screams of the people around them.
jermaine and marlon were on their feet and sprinting toward the stage, while jackie made sure their youngest brother actually listened to him. randy looked as if he wanted to protest, but the look on jackie’s face made him obey his earlier command and he followed the frenzied crowd toward the emergency exit.
“tito!” michael’s agonized screams made jackie’s heart clench in his chest as he rushed up to join his brothers on the stage.
jermaine had managed to drag michael away from the flames, and cradled him in his arms as smoke rose from the back of his head. jackie could tell from jermaine’s face that it was bad. he looked around for marlon and tito and found them off to the side, with marlon frantically checking tito over. “we need to get outside now!” jackie shouted.
“anybody seen joseph?” tito coughed into his arm, soot clinging to his clothing and face.
“marlon, jermaine get them out of here, i’ll look for joseph.” jackie instructed.
“jackie, he never made it to the stage he’s probably long gone. don’t stay in here looking for him.” marlon said as he made tito lean on him and began his exit out of the building, “he ain’t worth it anyway.”
jackie didn’t bother to react to that, there was no doubt in his mind that marlon thought their father may have had something to do with the explosion, whether directly or indirectly. jermaine had to fireman carry michael, the horrified look on his face was nothing in comparison to michael’s wide-eyed agony. silent tears fell down his ashen cheeks as he clung to jermaine, chest heaving as his heart rate began to rise from the adrenaline coursing through his body.
the thick, black smoke began to engulf the building and jackie followed his brothers out of the emergency exit.
in the aftermath, tito ended up with smoke inhalation, billy davis was dead, and michael had third and second degree burns to his scalp. one arrest was made; a stagehand with a criminal record, but he was released when nothing could connect him to the crime. the boys had their own suspicions. berry gordy had escaped jail time after his embezzlement trial, but made it very clear jermaine wasn’t off the hook for going back to his family in the middle of it all. joseph was a suspect, though none of the brothers thought he had done it on purpose. he may have known his own life was in danger and still brought his sons to a place where they could’ve been killed.
marlon was already in a “shoot first ask questions later” mood which added another layer of complications to their already haphazard plans.
“you remember the last time you ran somewhere guns blazing?” jackie questioned marlon as he looked through the scope of a rifle.
“yeah, got a free nose job,” marlon shrugged, “hand me that nine millimeter would you?”
“marlon, what exactly are you planning on doing?” jackie asked him, putting a hand on his shoulder and forcing him to stand up.
“about to get whoever tried to kill my brothers. what’s it look like?”
“and what do you gain from doing that?”
“a peace of mind.”
“you think michael wants you doing this?”
“michael’s too nice—”
“so were you until we let joseph get his hands on you.” jackie crossed his arms over his chest and frowned, “tito and i stayed out of it when you started contracting because we figured we were too late to interfere. we were wrong. you were too young to be doing it marlon.”
marlon swallowed, “so what? we just let them get away with it? they can try again. next time tito and michael are dead, then what?”
“it ain’t gonna go that far—”
“how do you know, jackie?” marlon’s eyes went wide, almost unseeing and jackie furrowed his brow, “because if i can find them it won’t happen again. that’s what i’m good for, that’s what joseph made me good at. if i can punch, shoot or stab then i’m good for something. mikey is special, he’s good without that jackie and i have to protect that. what’s my purpose if the one thing i have to protect is dead?”
“marlon…”
“you and tito were his right hands before you left, and he wanted ‘maine and mikey to be his successors before they decided to work with other people. i could never live up to his expectations until he told me make someone dead and when i did it you shoulda seen his face man,” marlon let out a choked laugh, eyes dancing as he looked past jackie, “he was proud. said i was good for something and i liked that feeling. told me i’d need to protect my brothers but all i did was scare mother and the people i was meant to protect.”
“protecting the entire family isn’t your job, marlon. that ain’t all you’re good for.”
“but it is. it is. what else do i have if i dont have this?” he carelessly picked up the rifle he’d been tinkering with and shoved it at jackie, who grabbed it from him and put it on the counter behind him.
jackie gave his little brother a long look and gathered him into his arms. “how long you been feeling like this?”
“since the first one.” marlon said quietly, eyes still glued to the wall behind jackie, his arms at his sides as jackie held him.
“how about you take a break? go somewhere else for a while. me and tito will handle the family.”
“but what about—”
“marlon,” jackie let go of him and took a good look at his face, “you came to my doorstep after that job in vegas went bad with your face smashed in and i had never been more scared a day in my life, not until michael and tito. because i didn’t know the extent of what you were into. this ain’t your cross to bear. we’ll handle it as a family, but you can’t be involved.”
“you gotta let me put a bullet in someone’s head, jackie. just one. for mikey and tito.”
“you do that and you can’t come back from what happens to your relationship with them once it’s done. they don’t want or expect that from you.”
marlon didn’t say anything else after that and jackie stood there with him, trying not to show his younger brother how terrified he was for and of him. “i’m gonna book a flight with no return ticket marlon, and i’m gonna walk you to that terminal. when it’s all said and done, i’ll come get you.”
“okay.” it came out soft and strangled, reminding jackie of the little boy he’d left behind so many years ago.
“marlon?”
“yeah?”
“if you do anything other than stay in this apartment until i come get you, i’m getting mother involved.”
“jackie—”
“i mean it. don’t answer the phone, don’t even look at that pager, in fact, give it to me.”
“it’s on the kitchen counter.”
“i’ll take it when i leave then. you do not speak to joseph either.”
there was a flinch so small that jackie almost didn't catch it. he wrapped him up in another hug, and allowed marlon to bury his face in his shoulder. if there was one thing joseph couldn’t beat out of his sons, it was how affectionate they were with their younger brothers. even if some of them couldn’t express it healthily anymore. the fierce protectiveness they had for each other was always going to be there.
“boy, are you working for him again?” jackie asked.
“it’s just one more…said he had a lead—”
“that’s all it ever is with him. just one more job, one more mark, one last ride and who doesn’t get his hands dirty but makes all the money? him. he gets his peace of mind once the job is done while he chips away at yours.”
“yeah…he does.”
“so, you gonna listen to me and lay low until i can get you outta here?”
“yeah jackie. i can.”
jackie doesn’t say anything about the detached monotone of marlon’s voice or how rigid he is in their embrace, he just continues to hold his little brother hoping to give him a semblance of peace for the time being. if there was one kid in the family who he thought could fly under joseph’s radar it was marlon, but he underestimated joseph’s cruelty. his ability to pick out insecurities he created in his sons and twist them to his favor, using praise he never gave them before to get them to do what he wanted. their mother thought it was enough to be involved in joseph’s affairs to keep an eye on her sons, but when marlon left she no longer knew exactly what he was into.
joseph used that to his advantage too. it was nothing to isolate a son who had already isolated himself. the factors that lead to marlon being in this position were a happy accident for joseph. jackie knew their father didn’t have the same faith in marlon that he had in the rest of his sons. always complaining that he couldn’t keep up, couldn’t figure something out fast enough, wasn’t good enough. joseph was a disciplinarian that only got worse when their mother wasn’t around to wrangle him in. they all got it, especially the younger boys because they just didn’t know any better. michael would run or fight back, marlon would get it for simply being.
marlon still managed a smile no matter what. jackie always admired that about him. even when joseph would leave him behind, he’d shrug and say, “that’s okay, i like being alone.”
that little boy, who was begging to be seen, was almost afforded a semi-normal life had it not been for joseph. jackie had to wonder why, when he, tito, jermaine, michael, and even randy had been taught about the business itself, introduced to partners, associates and rights hands, marlon had been given a gun.
no formal training, target practice, or even simple instructions. if marlon hadn’t been so eager to please, so willing to do what joseph said for even a drop of praise…
what was the alternative?
jackie sat with that thought while he held marlon.
