I miss you.
Why is it that we take advantage of life and the people we have in our lives. We always think “I’ll talk to them later.” or “I’ll see them soon enough.” But that isn’t always true. Death can be so unexpected and is always unpredictable. You can never determine when someone is going to die, but you always expect it to be later in life or when someone is very old and has lived a full life. Sadly, there are people that get taken from the Earth far too soon.
Last night I cried the hardest I’ve cried, since my dear friend passed away. I watched Fast and Furious 7. Knowing the end was going to be sad, I still watched it. Now most people found it sad, because Paul Walker passed away tragically and the end was a memorial for him. I saw things I little differently though. I remember my friend having her “people I like to f*ck list.” Yes, she was vulture and blunt and I loved it! Well, one of the people on that list was Paul Walker. So as the last scenes began I was thinking to myself, I hope she’s up in Heaven flirting with him and marking him off her list, because if anyone had the balls to do it.. It would be her.
The final scenes continued as I laughed quietly to myself. Then Vin Diesel’s character gets asked “Aren’t you going to say goodbye?” and he looked at his friends and Paul Walker in the distance and says “No.” He begins to speak about family and how no matter the distance they will always be family and that’ll keep them together. This was when my laugh turned into holding back the tears. I was able to until the final scene was over. After that I began crying, like uncontrollable tears. With the rushing images and memories of my friend filling my mind.
I miss her so much. It is hard to come to the realization that she will never be here anymore. It makes me feel like I took advantage of the idea that she would always be here. I wish I would of spent more time with her during her last year with us, even though she distanced herself from most of us. I don’t know if she thought she was doing us a favor by keeping herself isolated and not telling us exactly how she was doing, but I wish I would of pushed harder to find out and be there. Now she is a memory that lives within me. She will live within me until the day we meet again. That day we will have so much to catch up on, but until then I know she is watching over me and still experiencing it all with me. I may only be able to see her in my dreams, but I know she is still there.
Distance will never keep family away from one another. Even if its miles or places, we will always be sisters.
