spam @kedas-whinge - Tumblr Blog

I wake up every morning and fantasize about a life beyond this absurd monotony but like. Then breakfast hits.

#and im supposed to do this three times a day as if everyone does that #bs

Told a recovery friend online id had top surgery and despite seeing me on camera near daily for a year she was like "woahh I had no idea"

#not insulted or dysphoric about it #just amused still #I feel like my flat chest does 70% of the load bearing for my gender

kedas-whinge

Rlly need to eat but the idea alone is making me feel so goddamn stressed and more tired lol

kedas-whinge

Coworker offered me a free jamba coupon so I DID survive this. Barely.

Rlly need to eat but the idea alone is making me feel so goddamn stressed and more tired lol

#i hate the textures and i hate being full and i hate the damn neediness of my body

Yesterday was NOT a nutritional win was it

#i dont !!!!!!!!!#i gen cant feed myself anymore aha

Surrounded by awesome :)

#had one hell of a sleep #feel so alive today yall........ fresh.#i wanna go home tho i hate working

Not really crashing out about it rn or today in general but like when a thought abt this pops in my head I gotta get it down. That's book filler baby.

#sigh #not that like. the book matters after my first stab at a draft was stolen. idk. just hasnt seemed worth it lately.#besides idk the more ive been thinking about it the less interesting the experience of being chronic/high functioning sounds #thats just how most women are living i guess #which. is mayb why i shoudl writr jt???????#i need to go to sleeeeeep goodbie

Ohhh I wish I was an-- shut up1!1!!!!!!1 ! Do you know how EMBARRASSING it is to open your camera roll to NOTHIN but pictures of yourself from weird unflattering angles?????

#i hide my phone every time i open my gallery cuz its PATHETIC CC ughhhhh #no one should feel shame for their disorder..... except ME thanks. i feel. so much shame

MY HEART IS VAST!!!!!!!!

#made a petre friend alllll cozy happy tonight and i think i did aight. i hope he sleeps well tonight because he deserves it soooo much fr #sending vibes into the universe he felt cared for and adored like he is and also that he rests easy #i just. i like when the people who care for me are cared for and feel as safe as they make me feel #snile

kedas-whinge

First week in like two years im gonna try to do my job without smoking on my lunch 🫡🤞

kedas-whinge

To clarify smoking pot and I did it????? Wild

#didnt even pop home at lunch wild

Starting to develop the face WHERES THE PART WHERE THIS KILLS ME HUH?????????

#ok im being a biit dramatic but maaaaaan #tried so hard in the middle high school years to perish from it and now??? im stuck with it #can it either go away or kill me already - worlds most passively EITHER bitch ever

My "had one croissant at 8:00 am only because it was offered to me" ass rn

#aaaand now its five oclock #i cant help itt its sooo not my fault theres just nothing i can do about it!!!#i feel fine tbh just a little noisous but like. when doesnt my tummy hurt yk?#i have one a those tummies

HAD I KNOWN MY SWITCH WAS GONNA EXPLODE I WOULD HAVE SAVED SOME EXTRA THIS MONTH!!!! WHATEVER!!!!!!

#fucknintendo

Fuck dr Russell and his goddamn sign and his effin "morning anas" while were at it!!!!!

#grrrragggggg #mostly mad about the scars from my wart removal #they dont tell you that! puke warts. awesome. god #i forget i had them and then my hands get too wet or warm and BAM red ass knuckles fuuuck me

Mayb you should kill yourself now!!!!!!!!!!!!

#oh my goddddd #like. the world has never been more full of blaring aggressive violent messages to massacre ones own bofy #and IM just supposed to be normal about it!!!!!!#i misss body positivity i miss when we pretended we were getting better at least then i could ignore the messages trying to push through #and just look at beautiful women in dove ads #grhrhehrgrvrgrg

Like how are people still ffffucking pro this shit sucks ss b like all the time and I just have to suck it up and be a man about it bc I should b better by now!!!

#ik theres no timeline on recovery but like #12 years????????? girl are you not tired. bored. anything???#i want out sooo effing bad but when i tell you this is the only body i can tolerate and now im stuck “maintaining” it forever.......#black and white thinking is sooo rad cool and awesome lol #i love acting like a lost cause when im the easiest case #not even ffffucking. i shant say because i AM but like. not even fffffffffucking #GRRGEGSRGRG #and then someone else will tell me about their food trauma and its like GODDAMN!!! what tge fuck is my excuse #also i keep forgetting to budget in food and its actually hell when i *do* want or need to eat lol #burns it smashes it explodes it all

Whyyyyyyy do I even still own a scale

#implodes violently #love that meme about not even giving the day a chance fr

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