roma★
RMH
oozey mess
if i look back, i am lost
ojovivo
YOU ARE THE REASON
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$LAYYYTER
we're not kids anymore.
titsay
AnasAbdin
Misplaced Lens Cap
art blog(derogatory)
styofa doing anything
Claire Keane
JBB: An Artblog!
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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Sade Olutola
wallacepolsom
seen from Mexico
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seen from Belarus
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seen from Nigeria
seen from United Kingdom
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@keepcalm-carryyourcross
To whomever you need to tell...
It's from him. Obviously. It's not even a lie. Break a leg my dear. I'm gonna stop posting period. Discipline myself and what not. The least I could do. Love ya like the sea loves to be filled with water...and fish...big fish... Buh dum tsss...
How dare you call me "sir"
We’re all carrying around some shit. When you hear the things people have gone through and realize you’ve gone through the same, it provides an amazing amount of relief. It give us hope. And I think that’s what we’re supposed to get from each other. The hope that, maybe, just maybe, we’re going to be okay. Maybe.
Marc Maron, Attempting Normal (via perrfectly)
She said that she was Hezekiah. She says she's turning her face toward the wall...waiting...hoping...praying that with her tears, God will grant her another fifteen years. She said "Whether I do or don't, YOU still have to be ready while still keeping your faith...but you don't always get what you want." I don't always get what I want. I can't always get what I want. You're gonna have to explain that to your sisters.
Dear You,
Number one: Big Fish actually looks good, and apparently, people are crying over it, so I’d rather cry about a musical, versus my current situation.
Number two: Big Fish actually looks good, and I genuinely want to see it as a patron who fancies musicals, and as an alum who enjoys the nostalgia of their old yet updated high school, despite your presence in it.
Number three: I am not that blinded by your existence to make unlawful decisions, such as “dumping my mom” for you. If I’m not at the hospital, I’m at home, alone…“sleeping” and talking to inanimate objects like a psycho, and trying to release tears that I’ve stored for over 5 years. So if it just so happens that I’m in my house at that time, I will more than likely leave my house to cry over kids singing on a high school stage.
Number four: of course I am here for her, and only her, but I don’t have a physical support system. My family lays on me, I cannot lean on them. I’d like to be around other physical beings if appropriate and suitable in its right timing. So again, if my shift at the hospital is over at that time, best believe I’ll be elsewhere.
Number five: how else are you gonna get this gaddayum book? I’m probably being 💯 right now when I say this, but I don’t want time to past by in which the possibility of someone else being an angel gives this book to you. What are the odds tho? So nevermind. Ha with our luck tho…who knows…
Number six: I do trust whatever element, whatever entity, and or force that is on our side to just let things work its way, so I digress in such a mission and rush to get anything to you, but…still…ugh (oh wait, that entity is Jesus. How come I didn’t just say JESUS?)
Number seven: My dad’s going to a funeral on Saturday, so I’m not even sure why I’m trying to make any point towards why I’d be at DHS anyway, because if my dad’s at a funeral, I’d be at the hospital, but nobody knows the times for these events, so there…
Number eight: I blame Alex for everything.
Number nine: but again, I digress.
Number ten: but despite you and all you, and nothing but you…Big Fish looks like an amazing piece of art that I don’t want to watch via DVD if I don’t have to.
Thanks
For gettin my shit together for me. For sayin that out loud. Cuz I can't even fight that. Good points made. How dare I.
Scavenger Hunt
find my middle finger on Saturday...
Ew
Stop cheating.
Good idea
Great idea
Well...all that can change at midnight on Monday...
What If This Was A Premonition?
I had a dream this morning that my mom wanted to understand me. That she finally wanted to dissect piece by piece, everything that I was feeling about everything that has happened these last four years. She wanted to know everything a lot more intensely, so that she could really see things from my perspective, convincing me that she would absolutely understand this time because she had had similar experiences. She started asking me legitimate questions, questions that matched up with reality, so that's why I thought it was real, and that's why I genuinely felt a weight lifted off of my soul, but in this dream...whatever element that controlled the dream made it understood that she was only finally trying to relieve me of all of this, reevaluating my actions, and giving them more of a purpose, as a way of refreshing my primary disposition on this whole situation, as it was a last gift from her, before she left...to be somewhere better. Presently within the dream, I was thinking that even though I was loosing someone, that at least she was finally giving m me an advance, an approval, support, and encouragement, that I had been, and was still doing, and would continue to do the right thing, without fault, considering the complex situation, because she understood that the heart is the most important thing to keep alive, and whatever it wants, it should have...because it needs to keep beating. That even though I was loosing someone, that she was almost kind of paving a personal path for me to feel like it was absolutely fine and right to "get you back" "to claim you" "to have you" "to fight for you" ... because you are alive, and breathing, and the closest thing to something...someone...that could hold me in my place. All of that was felt just after one question. A question that marked the beginning of it all...the downfall...and the dream ended. And another dream happened...along with another...so when I woke up, I had a feeling of relief, but I didn't know where it came from...because being aware of the dreams I have when sleeping occurs much later in the day... So hours later...while watching Netflix...it hit me...it finally dawned on me...that this sense of relief and renewal was basically just a figment feeling of a dream. But feelings are still real tho...right? Despite whether or not the source is a dream...or reality...?
The fact that tumblr actually let me post a 2 min video blows my mind. And come to think of it, I really didn't have to post this. ( Pt. 1 )
A nurse that prays.
She said, "I have to be obedient. Can I pray over you?" No pills. She reassured her faith.
we interrupt this program to deliver an important message:
i love you
@cutmannn
Anxiety
Yesterday, she had her first anxiety attack. Like...I've never seen and felt a person's body vibrate at such a high velocity. She's anxious and nervous, and riled up because she doesn't understand what is happening and why. Being in the hospital in general causes anxiety. This isn't good because that means every nerve in her body is on edge, and that could mess up everything else...like...a domino effect. Yesterday, I was able to calm her down. Tonight, they suggested anxiety pills. First she was absolutely against it. Because our family has gotten through enough without that kind of medication. Our medication was / is God. But then suddenly, after they explained how it could still help, she flipped the switch. She said she agreed, and that she was all for it, and that she understood. I don't know if that was a sign of her giving up, like...the idea that relying on God wasn't gonna be enough. I don't know exactly what she's thinking. The whole idea is that her anxiety will go away if she's home, but her nervous body is causing her to be hospitalized, yet the pills could help her unnerve so that she can go home. I just don't want the medication to mess up something else in her body chemically. We're already at a point where the issue is getting her body systems balanced, and adding something like anxiety medication could totally screw that up and cause further imbalances So is it worth taking them, having the chance to go home, even though something else could happen as far as a side effect is concerned, from the medication? Or would it be worth it not to take them, in hopes that her faith is still strong enough to rely on God to completely take over? And here's the thing, that's up to her. I can't determine where her faith is at. I don't even know if my prayer towards her can even influence her to make whatever the right choice is... And that's the thing as well...maybe it could. But I need help. And my dad's not here. And she's trying to sleep. I just need prayer. Everyone who said they were praying, I felt like it's been all working, because even tho things have gone downhill, things have also gone uphill, so thank you, again for anything and everything. I'm just really tired.
The sky is so beautiful
To whom it may concern
I promised that I'd always stop by the skateboard section ANY time I walked into Walmart. That that section would always be visited in my arrival at Walmart. And that one day it'd be nice to...just so happen to be in the same spot...and that if I had to give you something, I'd leave it somewhere over there, in a way for only you to find...
