Live happily

Life upon the wicked stage ain't nothing for a girl.

[tinylilemrys]

literally sitting there like ricky trying to figure out what the heck esther means when she says the imperial axiom states that an object that cannot usually be crafted, conjured, or created in its abjured locality can be crafted, conjured, or created if that object was first crafted, conjured, or created within the five boroughs of new york city

then she says it's sinatra's law

and i'm just like brennan lee mulligan you absolute motherfucking gremlin man that's simultaneously the most heinous and legitimately genius pun i've ever been subjected to

[madejsbridge]

[cockyhorror]

I keep going back to watch this video it just captures my sense of humour perfectly

[shanexrayn]

Demön

[pettyartist]

When an NPC warns chaotic-aligned players to not do something

[buzzfeed]

I lose it at the cheerful “Fuck you, Goat-Man!” every damn time.

[myprofisproblematic]

[prettyboyshyflizzy]

Yoooo I’ve watched this man be politically correct and respectful on this issue for years he finally snapped and had his fuck this job moment ✊😄

[etherealflowergoddess]

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas

[hesgreatness]

That was real

[monibabee]

[sssshale]

BLESSSSSSSSSSSSS

[quietstorm-thundathighs]

facts

[unaenanasinamor]

ahhh honey, people lie about being sick

[quietstorm-thundathighs]

Oh illiterate honey that isn’t the topic of discussion

[antique-scarecrow]

always be suspicious when someone tries to derail a conversation by talking about people taking ‘advantage’ of a social safety net. brings this to mind:

[joshuallyman]

(josh lyman is a good person)

+ bonus

[decodering]

Redditors design worst volume sliders possible

Some of these are genius! ( see reddit / via )

[decodering]

Well, this post went a bit nuts.

[xxxtictacion]

That last one honestly belongs in hell

[an-alarming-number-of-bees]

Future super villains

[iamthespaceboy]

Can’t believe this got better

[gaycism]

The last one should include decimals to make it even more spicy

[chelseaperetti]

Some of the hidden ghosts in The Haunting Of Hill House

[monetizeyourcat-blog]

Just found out there are two Bones in my shin, and two shins on my body. That’s four Bones. Fuck this shit

[bourtange]

dude thats not even the worst of it. go look up what your ribs are made of

[monetizeyourcat-blog]

OK, i will, but I’m warning you if it’s bones I’m gonna be so pissed off

[archivesandcyanide]

I remember all the Doctor Who fanfics I used to read where Rose often got badly stereotyped as a damsel in distress whom the Doctor had to swoop in and save and smooch but the way I remember Doctor Who 90% of their relationship was the Doctor just setting Rose loose on people who had done something to offend them and sitting back giggling in the corner as she shouted

[autistichalfblood]

“setting Rose loose”

[doctorandroseinatardis]

He’s all “That’s my Rose!”.

[libraryoftheancients]

Hell, the season one finale is basically the Doctor accidentally setting Rose loose on the Dalek Emperor.

[warbyparker]

[thecatacombkid-deactivated20120]

Whoa. The MLA has officially devised a standard format to cite tweets in an academic paper. Sign of the times.

[davvvd]

ebooks, Horse. (horse_ebooks). “Leg Butt” 18 Nov 2011, 12:38 PM. Tweet.

[themostbeautifulanimals]

[mllebabushkat]

reblog for 10 years of peaceful sleep every night

[tomjacksonservo]

It’s really depressing how Labor Day has gone from “give laborers a day off” to “give white collar office workers and executives a day off but make retail laborers work so that executives can get a latte on their day off”

[winjerone]

Nobody is making anyone work. If you don’t want to work on that day, don’t.

[oppa-homeless-style]

[chromolume]

with my school teachers it was like “omg they’re so cool i wanna be their friend!” but with university lecturers it’s like “they’re endearing and i love them like cats but are they okay because i think they know too much about 18th century german literature to survive in the world”

[sharp-tender-shock-deactivated2]

what, you can’t know who friedrich schiller is and also change a tire?

[chromolume]

literally no

[sharp-tender-shock-deactivated2]

this would have worked better if I personally knew how to change a tire

[coldgamekelv]

My first time holding a sloth today 😭

[broadwaydork23]

FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING THAT’S HOLY

TURN ON THE SOUND

[karayray1-deactivated20230129]

I havent smiled all day… until now

[theeeprotagonist]

Brother nature is my favorite person

[ruby-white-rabbit]

So i went on a date to a haunted house and made friends with the girls behind us. As we’re going through, one of them is holding my hand and a guy leaps out and separates us. I panic as my date is pulling me along, I reach back for her and grab her hand in a group of three other performers and start getting out if there. After a bit I look back to check on her and I discover I’m holding the hand of a six foot tall zombie creature and not a 5'2" girl.

Cue the most terrifying realization of my life.

I had basically kidnapped this performer from his section and abandoned the girl and her friend behind us.

[ruby-white-rabbit]

Yes, I screamed. My date thought it was Hilarious.

Yes, we found the girls. Turns out when I grabbed the performers hand, he grabbed theirs so our group wouldn’t be separated. So there was just this zombie in the middle of our group line for like fifty feet

[kyuubinu-deactivated20190226]

This is like a Scooby Doo bit I love it

[rhymeswithbacon]

[meeko-mar]

I’ve never actually seen what it looked like before Mt. Rushmore…it’s so saddening.

[verymememuchimpresswow]

P r e a c h

[acornfriend]