Your loss not Mine
You know that feeling that eats you up like termites eating against rotten wood?
Yes the feeling as if your airways are locking up and your chest starts to tighten?
Whenever you tell the person your soul yearns for not to leave,
Because all you need is their presence and company there.
That hollowness and empty feeling in your stomach like your soul is slowly fading,
Every time he screams:
“KIM, I don’t want you on the phone!”
“KIM, I don’t wanna talk to any of you”
And then I Sit and stare, and ask again “ANY OF YOU?”
“KIM, please give me time to talk to my girl”
Then the same question repeats in my head non stop “Girl?”
“KIM, stop being selfish just have some RESPECT”
but you forget to notice you’re the one that calls, texts or even bug me
When all I try to do is forget about you.
Im not just anybody.
Im not begging for you to come back.
Im not begging you for anything.
I did that already and I was defeated by your words and what you desired back then.
And so I stopped asking.
Im not just somebody you just met.
EVERY TIME YOU CALL or TEXT,
You still make my heart flutter and filled with joy.
Then when I answer you always tend to shut all those emotions down.
You don’t call me because you care,
You just call me when you have no one there.
You call me when you’re lonely,
When you need to share something only I would understand.
Im not someone you can just call when its convenient for you,
Then you toss to the side whenever you please.
For a person thats been screamed and yelled at,
A person who has been spat on about not loving them back!
For a person to tolerate all that and yet still wants and needs you and
Yet still loves you no matter how hard and heartless you are towards them,
I HOPE one day you will realize all I ever wanted to do was to LOVE you.
But all you did was push me away.
Its not easy to stomach all the pain you cause every second you call.
Its not easy to put up with you and yet Still be there for you because,
I know what it’s like to be ignored,
Or to be LONELY.
Its not easy to just watch you pain me and you don’t know the “wrong” behind your words.
Its not easy to find someone that will set aside all the pain and wrong you cause them
And yet still sees you for only your good side.
You know every time you shut me out,
You have no idea what my mind does to my body,
You leave me breathless,frustrated and you just….you just……
Leave me with a naked body, without a soul.
A body without a soul is like a paralyzed individual
With no emotions but is just ready to die.
You may have torn me into pieces and killed every ounce of HOPE
I had in me to hold on to my love for you, but
Just know that you achieved nothing but “total loss”.
I lost someone that didn’t care but you lost someone that did.
