Beta read? God no, I have to learn about greedy search algorithms
Very specific self indulgent fic fic - Jared mccain x reader, who is a music producer and pinkpantheress' dj
Warning: this might be abysmal dogshit but uni is kicking my ass and this is the raving of a fatigued girl at 2am
Hm anyway
It had been close to a month since she'd last seen him, let alone been on the same continent as him. The US leg of the tour wrapped up about six weeks ago and they were back in Europe with a show every weekend plus booked events on their "off weekends". Of course they had kept in touch, with him calling her every evening (her time) and even when he drove to physiotherapy for his injury.
His injury had taken a huge toll on him, and she could tell how badly he was affected by this. She wanted nothing more than to comfort him do thats what she strive to do. At the same time he was a strong support for her while she toured.
"Have you had a meal" hed ask her
"Have you rested enough from physio" shed ask him
"I saw this art piece amd I thought of you" hed write to her, attaching a picture
"I cant wait to show you this place I found in the off season" she'd tell him
Their relationship, although experiencing strain from the distance, was a source of comfort for them. And it meant a lot to them both. That was why she decided to pay him a surprise visit on the day of his third game back.
"I have a home game tomorrow," he told her over the phone during their usual evening calls. She was at the airport, freshly checked in and awaiting her flight while they spoke.
"Feeling nervous?" She asked him.
"A little..." his voice betrayed the fear he was feeling.
"You'll do great, Jared. You recently got off injury. Don't let the last two games define you. We've seen your talent," she says, grabbing something to drink from the coffeebot.
"You're right, I know your right" he sighs "I just cant seem to get it into my head" he admits.
She hums. She knows what he means.
"Do you trust me Jared?"
"Of course I do"
"Trust me when I tell you that you dont need to worry about it. Just approach it with positivity. You brighten everything around you up. I'll need you to use that light for yourself"
He smiles at her words of encouragement. Her voice always seemed to reach him on the midst of the maelstrom of emotion he was fighting. But he trusted her.
The next day, hes training for the game and going over game plans as she is on her flight from the south of Italy.
She watched the entirety of his game during the last few hours of the flight, beaming bringtly at his performance, smiling at the celebrations he did. It felt like every time he looked at the camera to celebrate, he was thanking her. He was saying it was for her. Like something only they knew.
She didn't get to see the post match i terrier as she was rushing through immigration in order to get back to his apartment before he did.her heart was thudding, a steady rhythm beneath her skin.
She had been looking forward to this moment for weeks. Long, agonizing weeks. She couldn't wait to be in his arms again.
One dragged out Uber ride later, she got to the familiar apartment. His scent hit her. It went into her skin and borrowed itself between each strand of flesh. She wished it was more permanent than it felt.
Immediately, she rushed up to his room to freshen up and wait for him,so she did. Perched on the bed and staring g at the door.
Less than an hour later she heard the door open and heard his voice say "it feels different in here".
Realizing why he might feel that way, he immediately ran up to his bedroom to find her there.
please make a joshua zirkzee x reader and my life is yours
OMG, I was watching the game and thought of your request 🤣. Perfect timing ❤️
Joshua Zirkzee x Reader - Get Lost
He is kinda cute, I guess 😝
Summary - Joshua tries to get you back after treating you badly.
Enjoy! 💞
"Get lost Joshua, I know it's you!"
You felt like an idiot, yelling at your front door at this hour of the night. Nonetheless, your door bell kept ringing, and the person on the other side of it was desperate for you to let them back into your life.
The audacity of that man. What in the world made him believe that you would give him another chance? A chance at what exactly, since the two of you never got around to go on your first date.
"Please Y/N. Just let me in so we can talk!"
Great. A begger.
With a resilience that made you groan in frustration. "Go home, Joshua! I'm done talking to you. "
"I'm sorry, okay. Just hear me out, please."
You didn't even know him that well. He was just some guy who stumbled into the cafe where you worked, wearing a red hoodie that covered the majority of his head and face. As he stepped up to make an order, you made a joke about how you thought he was going to pull out gun on you and demand the days ransom.
"What?"
You were suddenly taken back by the most breath taking eyes. "I...it was just a joke," you said, offering Joshua, who had raised his head to look at you, a friendly smile. Turns out that he hadn't been met with those in a while, a friendly smile. You later learned how he even struggled to go out in public due to the harassments that he would face, all because the football team that he belonged were playing like shit.
"You...so you really don't know who I am?"
"Should I?" You chuckled over the cup of tea that the two of you shared that day in the cafe. It was a slow afternoon, and all Joshua had been looking for was a place to relax and listen to his music without anyone bothering him. That place was your cafe, and Joshua kept coming to see you every day for at least a month. That is, as of last week.
At the end of last week, Joshua just wasn't himself with you, or at least he wasn't the relaxed charming guy that you had come to know. He came into the cafe wearing his hoodie again. People took notice because he came in bumping into tables and chairs as he couldn't see anything from underneath where he was hiding his face.
"Hey, Joshua!" You exclaimed, happy to see him. You were always happy to see him. Even more so now, as you had begun developing feelings for Joshua. A big mistake on your part.
"Can we talk?" He grumbled, coming up to you as you stood behind the counter.
"Right now, why?"
"I don't know. I just like talking to you."
"Oh, okay. Well, I get off in an hour. Maybe we can talk then?"
Joshua lifted his head, his expression a bit baffled. "So you don't want to talk?"
"What? No. That's not what I said." You frowned. However, Joshua slammed his palm flat on the counter, startling both you and all present customers in the cafe.
"I knew it, you liar?"
"Liar? Joshua whatta hell are you on about?" He was frantic and impossible to get to.
"Just admit it, Y/N. You've known who I am from the start. You know what team I play for."
"Joshua, I don't—"
"You watched the game, didn't you. DIDN'T YOU!"
"What game?" You snapped, triggered by the way he was shouting at you, embarrassing you in front of all of the costumers.
"Forget it." He smiled, a devious smile. Almost spiteful. "Like everybody else you can go fuck yourself."
"Joshua?"
He left the cafe with those words hanging in the air, ringing in your ears.
Go fuck yourself
It took you weeks to get over him. Weeks to smother whatever feelings you had for Joshua. However a dominant part of you had to know, what game was he talking about?
It didn't take long to find out what you were looking for. Joshua and his teams latest defeat. It explained why he felt the need to hide in public as people, the teams' own supporters, found plenty of reasons to taunt and harass their own players, considering how they were consistently underperforming as a team. Underperforming, being an understatement. They were playing like shit. And in unfortunate events, Joshua had been subbed off early in that losing game, in a way, looking like the guy to the blame for the teams lates shambles.
It's what must have left him so grumpy, so primitive in the way he sought you out that they in the cafe. However, it was no excuse for what he said. And scoring the winning goal in the teams rare but equally tremendous victory against their old-time rivals, was not an excuse to waltz back into your life.
"Please Y/N. Open the door."
You were crying now. Full on shedding tears while listening to Joshua begging for your forgiveness from behind your door.
"I don't deserve you, I know that. Not after what I said to you in the cafe that day. Just know that I've been thinking about you ever since. I have been thinking about you alot."
You were suprise to hear his laughter echo from behind the door. It warmed your heart, hearing Joshua laugh, considering that it took him forever to feel confident and comfortable enough to do that with you. He laughed and then he spoke:
"I don't know if you saw it, the game?"
The word Yes was on your tounge, but you held your breath.
"I scored a goal, the game winning goal. And the celebration, my celebration....I was thinking about the day that we met."
You weeped. Like a toddler you weeped. You feet shuffled across your hallway, towards the door. Your hand trembled as you undid the lock and suddenly there he stood.
"Joshua!"
"Y/N!" He saw the tears in your eyes, the way you stood trembling before him. "Fuck Y/N, I'm so sorry."
You were caught in his embrace, your feet lifted from the ground as he twirled you around on the spot. He then put you down, tilting your head to meet his mellow eyes. "Do you forgive give me?"
You nodded your head, a bit behind on getting the right words out. "Yes. Yes. I forgive you!"
A warmth flooded your insides as you were once again lifted off the ground. Joshua twirling you around in your bare feet, his hand on the back if you head keeping you steady while his mouth pressed hard against yours.
just want to let you all know that all the accusations made against this and are just that- accusations
innocent until proven guilty beyond reasonable doubt
(not beta read)
he had been caught.
that's all you had been seeing all day. his pictures all over social media and the news, some demonising him and calling him a terrorist, others calling him a hero. you were just confused. three weeks ago, he just up and left your shared apartment without so much as an explanation. you wished you knew better but you couldn't explain it. you loved him and you thought he lived you right back. he was so sweet and doting and attentive to you, even if he hadn't been the same since the accident.
the accident... it had dimmed his light significantly. he couldn't hike or climb or do the things he once loved, being too financially and physically incapacitated to do it, and that's when you noticed his shift. you'd been seeing each other for some years, even talking about the idea of marriage before the accident happened. after it, though, it's like a switch flipped. he came to stay with you while he was covering his medical bills and you could see up close how it changed him. he became distant from you and obsessed with a lot of socialist literature, reading while he wasn't working. his parents and family called you several times because he had effectively stopped speaking to anyone since then. he was different and it was difficult for you to watch what had become of him now that...
you were on your way home from a long day at work, only made longer by seeing your boyfriends face everywhere. you had to turn off the radio because of all the news reports every few seconds. you couldn't believe it, but at the same time, you could. he had an implicitly calloused way of handling things that you'd always said would land him in prison. little did you know, it was literally landing him in prison. the health care system, after all, killed your childhood best friend and left him disabled and in debt. he was the one who just went to go and make his grievances known.
upon your arrival at your apartment, you headed straight for his desk and flipped through all the papers and manuscripts, reading through his detailed notes and excerpts from books and studies. then you saw it. a letter, starting with the words: if you're reading this, they got me. and I'm sorry.
your heart lurched when you saw those words and you didn't even realise that tears were running down your face. you continued reading thr note in his familiar messy handwriting, sharp and thin lettering you recognised as his.
I'm so sorry. I know I've been abandoning you and our relationship. I've been abandoning everyone. but I can't just deal with this pain any longer, and I can't bear to see you suffer because of something neither of us could have predicted. I've cleared the medical debts and paid for the apartment for the next three months. you're free now. and I want you to use that freedom to find happiness beyond me. I love you. but I know I won't be there for you much from jail. you've always been headstrong and intelligent, so I hope you'll understand why I chose to do what I did. I'm truly, truly sorry. I hope you can forgive me. and more importantly, I hope you can find happiness beyond me. I love you.
a short something for all of you. prayers for all of you in the states, I never knew it was this bad. if ceo's were popped as often as kids in school, gun control would be a thing. once again, free luigi. he didn't do anything wrong. - saïe
