𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗥𝗬 𝗣𝗜𝗘 🍒

𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐄 𝐉𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑 27. model. nepo baby. tequila girl. forever haunted by cucumbers. // rp blog - NOT the real Kendall. | all gifs on this blog have been made by me. you do not have my permission to use them.

[kendallnicolexo]

KENDALL NICOLE JENNER; 27. model | nepo baby, fashionista, dog mom, health nut. i don't stop when i'm tired, i stop when i'm done.

A fact about me that surprises people: i collect vintage cars and i’ve always loved racing and go-karting. i have a thing for speed but i’m also a really safe driver. aside from my dog, my most prized possession is a 1957 corvette stingray.

my most irrational fear…: i’m the world’s biggest hypochondriac. i hear a story about something catching a cold and my throat starts itching in response. that’s why i spend insane amounts of money on health things and machines. so all the people who tell me i should get my head examined...the joke is on you. done it (a lot) and got the insane hospital bills to prove it. xo

green flags i look for...: someone, who’s laid-back, loyal, chill, willing to live in the moment and non-judgmental. ability to cook and cut cucumbers is a plus. 

My biggest date fail: i went on a blind date with someone, who thought i was kylie the whole time.

[kendallnicolexo]

cate-eblanchett·:

you all are so brave and really patient with all the social media crap. i´m lost and i don´t have any kind of social media, i couldn´t handle it but i am aware of some things that are said about me thanks to my girlfriend, my make-up artist who is also my best friend and of course my children and most of the time i don´t know if l should be scared or flattered. i can’t follow you or unfollow you but i am rooting for you and that badass attitude. 

i don’t know if patient is a good word, but it’s a useful marking platform and gets the word out quickly. everything is on social media now and i have a chronic fear of missing out, so that’s why i hang around. it’s a cesspool however, and i’ll never be over the audacity people have. like who would even have bad things to say about you? you’re a queen. thank you for the vote of confidence, i’ll do my best to keep the content going and being unbothered about the trolls.

[kendallnicolexo]

lw-tomlinson·:

Confident, I see. Very hot trait for a lass, babes. As if I’ve ever been to a met gala — for start, what the fuck do you actually wear to those things? Tell you what, help me with my attire, promise me there’s a bar, and we’ll call it a date. Do you think my heart can handle all the Karjenner craziness, is the question real here.

had to fake it until i made it, but learned the hard way that you miss all the shots you don’t take. depends on the theme but for men, usually a tux or a nice suit. if you send your measurements my way and can get yourself to new york tomorrow for a fitting, i’ll get the people doing my dress to put an outfit together for you. the drinks and the snacks are A tier, so if my sparkling company isn’t sufficiently enticing, those should seal the deal. you look like a guy that can handle anything, am i right about that assessment?

[kendallnicolexo]

shcwns·:

the internet is such a strange place. i’ve always had a love/hate with it, because i do really think it emboldens people to say some of the most outlandish nonsense. like, i know half the people would never be saying all that in public to somebody’s face. you keep doing you, jenner. 

god, twitter and instagram feels almost like a weird social experiment about how far you can go and not actually get punched in the face. one person starts a wild-ass rumor and suddenly, millions of people are convinced it’s the truth, effs. oh, count on it, mendes. nothing’s stopping me now.

[kendallnicolexo]

srahpaulsons·:

ooooh lady, i’d love to know the percentage that hasn’t, in this day and age. Maybe those with self control, maybe. but i’m thankfully at peace with forgetting the idea of twitter exist, but i’d be a total liar if i wasn’t in the occasional feud by calling asshole’s out, rather then making my publicist happy and just pressing that block button, it’s hard ! so i get it, people can be so fucking lame.  Pyjamas or hardly nothing, you lady, will now have me screeching in your comment section, full blown fire emojis. let loose. but to circle back to the pet peeve part, truly i’m right there with you, i sometime’s forget my instagram isn’t just for posting about helping animals get adopted, but it’s the side i’d so much rather stay on. 

i really want to meet those people, that manage to be zen all the time about how shitty people act on social media. the temptation to go all scorched earth on some idiot is forever strong. i’ve started muting people, instead of blocking. it makes them shout into a void and i don’t have to see it, but they also don’t get the satisfaction of knowing they’ve gotten to me. you’re a national treasure and i wish i had your attitude. you’re so legendarily unbothered and i have no other choice but to stan. maybe my next naked stunt should be for fundraising for animal shelters, or something. free the nipple and give needy puppers some help. pissing off the karens would be a delicious cherry on top of that sunday too.

[kendallnicolexo]

@timothcc​

big question here... what would this date entail? i have loads of questions even though i'm down for anything.  

oh dear sweet timmy, i think it’s absolutely a mistake to tell me you’re up for anything. that just makes me pick something wild, just because i can. how do you feel about a horse riding date? because horses are wonderful judges of character and that’s the kind of first date energy i’m into in 2023 xo

[kendallnicolexo]

@mbjcrdn​

So, when are you planning on wining and dining me?

since my cooking skills are famously...lacking, i was going to offer a private dinner cooked by my mom’s private chef. after the met, if you’re free and the offer sounds tempting enough for you to accept.

[kendallnicolexo]

Kendall Jenner for Own Denim. 

[kendallnicolexo]

jcehyns·:

oh, all the time. people will never be satisfied with anything you do on the internet so the sooner you stop caring and post whatever you want, especially when it makes them mad, the better. because they’re still paying attention to you and you’re paying them no mind! mine’s gotta be the masses constantly tagging me or dm’ing me about stuff of people shipping me with other members or other idols knowing full and well that i’m happily married because it’s just like on a whole new level of disrespect in my eyes.

that’s very true. i just sometimes get overwhelmed by the amount of people in my ear, hating everything i do. i know it’s a crazy privileged thing to be upset about but it’s tough, sometimes. people still openly ship you with others, even after you’re married? ew, that’s hella disrespectful. at least the whole tagging you into those things, anyway. fandom has their preferences, but trying to imply that you chose wrong is foul, even for the internet.

[kendallnicolexo]

hvmmings·:

big brainnnn. very here for your nsfw era – free the tits and make everyone blush. aren’t the hadid sisters also weird nepo babies? no hate to them but it’s not like their parents are unknown middle class folks. i’ll model for your tequila brand if you pay me in tequila. it happens to be my drink of choice so this is right up my alley. haven’t worn leather pants in years but i’ll slip some on just for you. 

i’m all about freeing the booty these days. the tits have already been freed. nah, i think most people think my parents are weirder and i’m lot less deserving of my fame. they’re also incredible runway models, so there’s that too. consider it done, sending my first payment your way as we speak. these are going to be the hottest adverts ever and we’re going to be selling so much booze together. honored to get you into those pants again, the world owes me massively for it.

[lw-tomlinson-deactivated2024101]

@kendallnicolexo​, going to pluck the courage and ask me out on that date girl, or going to later regret your wasted opportunity? 

[kendallnicolexo]

oh hey there, mr. tomlinson. i lack a lot of things, but courage isn’t one of those. ever been to the met gala before? if not, would you like to, with me? i can promise you an evening of fashion and all the karjenner craziness your heart can handle. xo

[71-r]

dont flirt with me cus ima flirt back and you gon catch feelings & im not

[kendallnicolexo]

minqyu·:

You ain’t the only one. I wouldn’t put it past them either! Knowing my luck as well, they’d do it in a heartbeat. I think it’s because you’re cool with it some days, they think you will be all the time. It’s a serious invasion of privacy, though, when they won’t leave you alone. I mean, while you’re being filmed for the show, you’ve agreed to be on camera. Every other time, not so much! Plus, they can be dangerous with the whole… following us around shit. It gets scary, sometimes. Or ignore them completely! As hard as that can be when they’re literally in your face. Just ignore them, hope they go away when they lose interest. 

it’s crazy, that it’s acceptable to follow people around and take creepy invasive photos and there’s nothing you can do about it. like, if i started following a photographer or a stalker fan around and harassing them, i would get arrested. they just get to collect a paycheck or internet clout and act holier than thou about it. it will never make sense to me. i know, sounds so hypocritical and whiny, since i’ve chosen this life but some boundaries would be nice. like, if i say no, that should be enough to get people to back off. it won’t, it just eggs them on, because they think they’ll get me break down on camera or make a scene and that always sells more. i don’t envy how hard it is for you guys either. the media and the fans are even more critical and nothing outside of perfection will do. 

[kendallnicolexo]

[kendallnicolexo]

𝐡𝐟𝐫𝐩-𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭 / 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐒𝐄

chase: i'm ready and willing to make that sacrifice. don't be surprised if i flirt back - kris is my favorite jenner.

chase: always.

chase: i'm going to forever be bitter about this victory of yours. have to find ways to one up you now so be prepared! no way and you can't make me.

kenny: that's actually the grossest thing i've ever heard. i'm going to be deleting your number and pretending i've never seen you naked now. xo

kenny: be bitter and be a hater, but i still won and thank you for at least recognizing the win. that's half way to acceptance. shoot your best shot, stokes. i dare you.

[kendallnicolexo]

hvmmings·:

throw on some bondage gear and corest and i’m sure you’ll remind everyone why you’re the number one model in the world. think you’ll have to work your magic on this one, kenny. you’ve got pulls in the modeling industry that i can only dream of so make it happen and i’ll show up in my best corset just for you. 

look at you coming through with all the good ideas. this is my nsfw era and throwing a harness over a sheer dress would do the job nicely. however, i’m pretty sure my girls Gigi and Bella are the number one models and i’m just the weird karjenner nepo baby. i’m going to email my agent and let them know i need to work with you next. if nothing else, you’ll have to model for my tequila brand. wear a corset and your tightest leather pants and it’ll be the best ad i’ve ever done for 818.

[kendallnicolexo]

five people here you'd like to take on a date?

@stkes, @grfields, @mbjcrdn, @lw-tomlinson, @jckharlow @timothcc

i know that's six, i can do math. argue with the wall. xo