like a bird set free.

Clipped wings, I was a broken thing. Had a voice, had a voice but I could not sing, you would wind me down I struggled on the ground. So lost, the line had been crossed had a voice, had a voice but I could not talk, you held me down I struggle to fly now. var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "5356918"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "//s1.freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1= &e2= &r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.head.appendChild(fhs);document.write(""); [mobile navigation ]

[emmacharlottewatson]

[kennawarren]

philipalexvogel:

“Oh?” Boarding school– that would make a lot of sense. And it also made Philip think of a few stereotypes, only imagining how big of a douche this guy probably was. “Yeah, yeah– I recall Harper.” Vaguely. Philip didn’t remember talking to her too often, but they had shared a few words here and there. Not enough to remember every little detail about her, but just enough to picture a face. A face that probably looked a lot different now– just as they all did, for the most part. 

“A judge? Oh– That’s fancy.” With a sarcastic lift of his eyebrows– the bitterness in his tone only appearing out of nowhere due to the fact that this guy had fucked Kenna over. Even after all these years, Philip wasn’t too excited to hear that she was being treated poorly again. Kenna deserved a lot better. 

A lot.

“Yeah, well– Fuck him.” The simplistic statement didn’t leave his lips without a laugh accompanying it. It was hard not to let it out, even if the words held a lot of true. “You’re clearly better off without him.”

Home.

That word meant so many different things– it had so many different feelings linked up to it. It felt weird, but there was also a comfort when he heard the word. It was as if he was exactly where he had to be– like Lanford was his to call home from the very beginning. And maybe it was. Maybe it was where life envisioned him, and no matter what, he would always work his way back here.

Home. 

How lovely.

“Thank you.” His eyes faltered back onto his hands, which were still latched on to the mug, another genuine smile tugging on the corners of his lips. Eyes flickering back up at the beautiful woman– …Yeah, wow– woman. Not a girl, anymore – the softness in his gaze came automatically whenever he laid eyes on her.

“It really is good to be back. Feels right. And– …Damn, it’s so good to see you again. Really good. I don’t think I’ll be able to get over it.”

That was much information for Philip to know what she meant by the word prick. An older, richer guy, who was into pretty girls and well -- got married to one that came from a different social status. It was all for the looks and for Kenna it was because she thought he was going to treat her right. At first he did. But as soon as she gave no for an answer shit would go down and things would get ugly. “He was a friend of Harper’s step son.”

Why was he so surprised though? It wasn’t like all guys in her life did not fuck her over one way or the other -- and after a while, Kenna was sure she was pretty unlucky when it came to men. Philip included. It might had been a long time since he did it, but some things were hard to forget. Though, the past was the past and she was more mature now. Being bitter for what happened when she was only twenty-something wouldn’t be a decent thing to do.

“Yeah, you’re right.” She said softly, knowing that he did have a point. She was better off without him.

Lanford wasn’t the best place for someone to live -- a not so small or big town close to New York city, but for some of the residents it was everything they had. Growing up here, Kenna never thought of calling another place home, despite the hurtful memories of a loveless childhood. People like her were meant to stay behind and fix things that their parents and family didn’t. Make this place better, for everyone. And now, with Philip back.. it never felt more like a home. Everything was going to go back to normal.. wasn’t it? With a.. friend around.

A friend.

Was that what he was?

“It’s good to see you too,” She admitted, the small knot in her stomach tightening as the honest words came out her mouth. A younger Kenna would definitely want to hit him, stay angry at him for a month straight but her current self was dying inside, because she wanted to hug him. God, ten years could really change a person. With a shy smile on her lips, Kenna’s eyes fell on his. “I missed you, you know. It wasn’t the same without you around.. it’s like you took all the fun with you.” And more, she wanted to say. It was like he had taken a part of her and she couldn’t be the same without him. Nothing could. Who could ever provide her with that safe feeling he did? No one.

[kennawarren]

philipalexvogel:

After all of these years, Philip had almost forgotten how incredibly smart she was. Straight A’s– something that he would have never seen on his own report card. But inside that skull of hers was a brain that thrived with an abundance of knowledge. “Jesus– Look at you. Miss Brainiac.” 

The fact that she now had a child was something that he was going to have to get used to. Every time that she brought him up, even though the previous time was a second ago, Philip still had to take a moment to process all of this. It was odd– but… that was growing up. They were now both mature adults– or as mature as they possibly could be. And Kenna had a child– a child she seemed to care for more than anything else in the world. It was amazing. 

“I’m sure you’ll be able to balance everything. I hear online schooling can be fairly flexible when it comes to hours and what not. – You know,” Philip paused, his eyes falling softer by the second. “It’s very inspiring to see that you’re doing this. Truly. It is. I applaud you.”

Relief. That was the best word to describe how he was feeling. Of course– Philip had nothing against Jason Luca. The two were on good terms– he’d consider him an old friend, even. But he would be lying if he didn’t admit to the fact that he almost experienced a miniature heart attack. “Oh, thank God–” 

With a slight chuckle, Philip raised the cup of coffee up towards his lips. After taking a small sip, he easily set it back upon the wooden table. Even if his eyes were faltering every so often towards his hands, making sure that no coffee was being split as the cup moved downward, Philip placed all of his attention on to her. “Well, I think it’s a great name. A beautiful choice.”

“Cole Hawthorne? Huh–” The name rang a bell, but Philip couldn’t exactly pin-point where he recognized it from. “He’s not a Lanford native, is he? ‘Cause I don’t remember ever hearing about him around town, or whatever. Though– I could’ve just been too high or drunk to notice… There’s always that…”

Smart wasn’t a word she would have described herself, ever. Kenna was drawn to books simply because those were her only comfort growing up. There was no computers around, a TV to watch movies. What other people took for granted, it was foreign to her. His comment though caused her to laugh once again, the palm of her hand moving to minimize the sound coming out her mouth. “I guess I’m not full of flaws.”

Having a child, was never something she planned. Even though she would never go back in time to do things different and not have her son, before he came in her life Kenna’s opinion about children was strongly negative. Why bring a child in this awful world? Never seeing herself as the best motherly figure a person could have, she made sure that during the seven years of her marriage would produce no children. Yet, one thing lead to the other and after a series of importuned events, a straight week at the hospital because of ‘an accident’ she welcomed the news with a total new attitude.

That was part of growing up. That was the beginning of a new Kenna, a stronger person who took up the responsibility to bring her child in this world and make sure he was going to be one of the best.

The way he spoke about seeing her like this made Kenna’s heart beat a little faster. She couldn’t get all shy right now. Looking down at the small cup of coffee in her hands, she smiled, feeling like some stupid teen. “Thanks.. I’m trying.”

Was that the sound of relief in his voice? Did he really think she had gotten married to one of his friends, someone that they both knew from the past? Sure, Jason Luca was a good friend. But that was all he was. A friend. If she could even call him that right now.

“Actually.. he is. He lived in Kingsgate but was sent to a boarding school from what I know. I met him to this party my mom’s cousin threw and invited me.. you know, Harper? She owns the spa in Kignsgate. Anyways.. Cole is ten years older. It’s surprising how people..” Letting out a small sigh, she kept her gaze down at the cup. “They’re not what they seem. I guess divorcing a well known judge wasn’t the smartest thing I wanted to do.” Raising the cup, Kenna took a long sip until the black liquid completely disappeared, leaving behind a thick black tray of dregs. “I don’t think I had the time to tell you.. I mean, you know how bitchy I can get but -- welcome home, Vogel.”

[musingxmemes]

       ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ'ᴠᴇ ᴅᴏɴᴇ ʙᴀᴅ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ᴅᴏᴇsɴ'ᴛ ᴍᴇᴀɴ ɪ'ᴍ ᴀ                 ＢＡＤ ＰＥＲＳＯＮ．

                                       … ʀ ɪ ɢ ʜ ᴛ ?

[kennawarren]

philipalexvogel:

Feeling her foot nudge his, it was hard to hold back the light chuckle which echoed from the pit of his stomach. It was like he was twenty-five again. Being with her was bringing back so many good memories. All of the laughs, good thoughts, deep conversations– such an amazing time in his life. He truly missed it. 

Philip lifted one hand up from his cup of coffee, blocking his mouth with it as to silence his laughter. “Yeah, Yeah– you haven’t changed a fucking bit, I swear to God. Still loving whenever you’re right.”

He could understand where the was coming from– the fear of completing an education at such a young age, and having so many things under her belt already. It wasn’t something that he experienced first-hand, but he could imagine the stresses of life which came attached to it all. “It doesn’t matter if you finish school at like… sixty. The fact is– the brilliant thing is, you’re doing it. That says a lot. – And hey, you don’t know what opportunities will arise after you graduate. You can’t say for sure that you won’t get a job. That’s just negative thoughts crowding into your mind, Ken. That’s not the truth, you know? And I doubt you’ll end back in that shit hole of an area. Don’t worry too much.”

Hearing her speak about her child– it was still so weird to think. Seeing the way that she lit up with she spoke about him– it was beautiful. The precious presence of a mother and her child was something that Philip warmed up to over the last few years. He had never been the type to truly appreciate such a natural beauty until recently, and to be quite honest– he wished that he was lucky enough to have a child of his own. Being a father would be a terrifying, yet probably incredibly rewarding experience. 

“Jason?” He repeated– the name coming across as rather familiar. “Wait– …Jason.” Then the memory of another male popped into his mind. One in which he held a friendship with. A writer, turned bartender, turned lawyer. Did Kenna end up with him in the long run, and did she name her child after him? “…As in Jason, Jason– from here? Rich Jason? – Did you two end up together?”

The laugh was a real music to her ears. Why did this guy always have to have such an affect on her? The relaxing atmosphere caused the woman to take a deep breath, a breath of relief since she hadn’t felt that way for quite some time. Pushing back to rest against the chair, she continued to smile.

“Oh, you know you love it. Who’s going to annoy you the way I do? I bet nothing did the exact great job.” Old times where she messed with him or the two of them joked around popped into her mind and suddenly, she was laughing as well.

“You know, worrying is my thing. I just finished this year’s classes and I can’t say I did bad. Straight A’s and an A minus, in a Greek class. I sound like I’m freaking sixteen --- I’m sorry. Just, I feel awkward from time to time, you know? Like, classes right now are not my priority. Sure, if I get to graduate then that will be amazing because I will be able to get a better job.. but at the same time, I don’t want to miss much from Jason’s life. He’s going to be five by then, every day is full of new experiences.” She could go all day and speak about her child, as if she was not even Kenna -- the Kenna he knew. In a part, that was the truth, the girl had transformed to a woman now, a responsible one. She was even stronger now, doing her best to raise a child on her own without having to feel as she was weak. Miracles could happen after all, and it happened to her. “What? Luca? No --- hell, ew.” Shaking her head at him, she quickly reached for her coffee and took a sip. “I’d never have a child with him, let alone marry him. I mean, I didn’t even name him after my husband. Who wants to name their child after an abusive prick? He wasn’t even there to sign the birth certificate.” Kenna explained, a little too embarrassed for telling him all that. “I named him that because his name means to heal in Greek. And trust me.. once I found out I was pregnant, after seven years of trying not to have any children.. it was life changing. I knew I had to do something and.. get a better life for him. My husband.. he’s Cole. Cole Hawthorne.”

[kennawarren]

philipalexvogel:

Vogel Construction and Reno.. I googled it.

Hearing the name of his company was enough to make a smile curl onto his lips, his eyes adverting down at his hands which were holding onto the small cup of black coffee in front of him. The smile was genuine, though– and it almost had a hint of embarrassment behind it.

“Shut up.” He mumbled under a breathy sigh, eyes focusing in on the dark liquid which was still steaming hot. “I can’t say that I was wrong. I mean, not fully. Sure– I’m doing great now, but I had to work my ass off to get here. And… I still think life would have been a bit more promising if I continued on with school, you know? I still regret that. Even to this day.” 

It was hard for him to still be overly bitter around his certain situation. Philip was pretty well off now– the business was booming. They were able to get a few high-status customers, and word spread like wide-fire. 

Philip found a sense of pride in providing not only quality, but safety, all in one package. 

There was something refreshing about hearing how her life was going. Sadly, there may have been a few downfalls– but everyone had those. Philip had to admit, he was glad she was ripping herself out of a toxic environment. She never deserved to be trapped in one of those. Not again.

However, the word for son left her lips, and Philip’s expressions softened up. She had a child? …Jesus. Thinking about it in a realistic fashion, it wasn’t surprising. It shouldn’t have been surprising. She was married, and that’s what married couples did. But for some unknown reason, he was still taken aback by such wonderful news. 

“It shouldn’t matter about your age. You’ve wanted to do something with school for a long, long time, Ken. And… I really think you should keep at it. Any form of education helps nowadays, even if it’s in the slightest amount.” Offering up another smile, Philip searched between her eyes; a sense of familiar comfort overwhelming his being. 

“But– wow… A son? That’s– wow. Um– What’s his name, how old is he?”

One of the things she never expected to see that same day was a smile. That smile in particular, one that warmed up her whole being, causing her to mimic it on her own, just because she was that happy to see it forming on his lips. He still looked amazing, how was that possible? Looking right at him, Kenna tried to take in all the features -- even the small scar she could recognize on his eyebrow. It was truly him.

“Hey, what now? Don’t go all shy on me, Vogel.” There, another smile formed on her lips, her foot nudging on the side of his underneath the table -- feeling as if she was twenty again. “You’ve made it. You really did -- and that makes me proud but mostly happy, because I was right.. once again. Maybe you should start listening more to the blonde who pisses the shit out of you.” The words came out of her mouth words she would never use in such a manner around her husband, or his circle. It felt so great to be able to just.. feel herself again and not pretend to be someone she was not.

Talking about her life wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t hard either. Kenna had reached a point where she knew there was nothing to be ashamed of. Not anymore. Philip wasn’t an idiot either, he knew exactly what she was referring to, from her life back home to her later years, she did repeat the same mistakes and kept herself around toxic people because in a way that was all she knew.

Ken.

The sound of the nickname warmed her heart. She wanted to cry, how long had it been since anyone had called her that? “Yeah, but I have more responsibilities now. I can’t spend four years of my life studying.. I will be thirty nine when I finish. And then what? I won’t be able to find a job.. you know how these things work. At least now I can do something and offer myself a better life.. I don’t want to end up back in North End. That’s what scares me the most, the possibility of going back there.” She admitted, letting out a big sigh.

“Yeah.. a son. He’s.. he’s the only thing I’m proud of. I’d go through hell again, just to have him. He’s worth it all.” The way Kenna spoke about her child was coming straight from her heart. There was nothing compared to a mother’s love and she only understood that now. Truth was, that made it harder for her to forgive her mother -- since she couldn’t understand how someone, anyone could abandon their kid. “He’s nine months old.. His name is Jason and thank God he looks like me.”

[kennawarren]

philipalexvogel:

It had been such a long time since he saw the face he was staring at. She was so beautiful– even more so than before. It was odd to think that it was possible. But there she was. Right there.

Each time he looked at her, Philip felt this soreness within his heart. He truly fucked her over back then, and he has accepted the fact that it may be hard for her to ever forgive him.

To be honest, he wouldn’t be mad if she never did. He used to be such an asshole. And now– well, he was practically the same. But changes were made in his life– mostly for the better. 

“Yeah.” Philip spoke softly, a slight nod of his head as he did so. “He signed it off to be as he was getting older. None of his kids wanted it, and frankly, they wouldn’t have been qualified to run it.” Qualified– that was an odd word. Philip had never been qualified for much in his life. But working within a company for years was like an odd way of getting an education, in a sense. Qualified.

“So… I’ve created a few branches in the business. We have some new offices in the city– which is why I was gone for so long. I thought I would end up staying there, but… I was almost getting sick of the busy day to day chaos. I missed the simplicity of Lanford. So… Here I am.”

His eyes gazed into her own, almost burning from how captivating they still were. After all these years. 

“…What about you? Other than the married, divorced  thing? – You’re not still waitressing, are you?”

It was an odd feeling, the one she had in her stomach. While being through hell and back, or almost back, nothing could be compared to this moment. It was awkward in a sense, yet rather familiar. Is this how people felt after seeing a friend they hadn’t seen for years? Was this strong feeling, this urge to just grab him and hold him for  -- who knew how long supposed to be here? After everything?

Kenna looked at him. His face was the same. A little more mature but the same. His eyes, just as dark as she could remember and his voice deeper, slightly husky. She felt bad, for almost forgetting that voice. Ten years had truly changed them both, but why did she still feel like this was Philip? The Philip she knew?

Listening to him describing everything that happened in his life during his absence, she couldn’t help but smile. He had made something out of it -- just like she predicted all that time ago. He was constantly judgmental with himself, not believing he was possible of doing something great.

“Vogel Construction and Reno.. I googled it.” The smiled on her face slowly appeared, eyes falling on the wooden table. “Look at you.. remember when you said you didn’t have a future? Let me hear you say, ‘I was wrong, Warren. You were right all along.’ Because you know I was.”

Now it was her turn and honestly, Kenna had no idea what to tell him. How could she even cover half of the thing that happened during this time? Tell him about everything that went down, how her life hadn’t changed much unless you counted some major twists. “You know how I usually repeat my mistakes? I never just think and.. I guess, marrying a man that is well off, comes with the consequences. And trust me they are a lot. Nothing has changed much, honestly.. after I got married and.. tried to be that housewife? Everything was the same, expect I had this prick in my life telling me what I can or can’t do. We separated a year ago, he wasn’t even there for our son’s birth. Then he wondered why I never wanted kids with him.. anyways, I work as an event planner for almost a year.. while trying to take online classes. It’s hard, trying to do everything I want right now. I’m no longer twenty years old and I’m starting to think that time.. well, that maybe it’s stupid of me to take those classes because nothing much will come from it.”

[kennawarren]

Coffee. After ten whole years of hell -- this was not what Kenna expected to do on a Monday morning. Her life had changed drastically the past two years and even though he barely knew that, the blonde agreed on having that coffee. How could she say no, really? So here they were, sitting across each other in a coffee shop she never visited in her early life, simply because she wouldn’t be able to afford it. “What’s going on with you, work-wise? Did you take your uncle’s company after all?”

(( @philipalexvogel ))

[shirazade]

[dailywomen]

[kennawarren]

[dailywomen]

[lovely-ladies]